"Infinite Madness" by Matthew U.

Dear whomever it may concern,

There are so many thoughts going on in my head. I don’t know what do, but I’m going to try something different this time.

I wrote these two sentences a long time ago in a hopeful manner to maintain a somewhat sane mind. Now, I’m completely lost. So I’m just going to write about my whole experience and see what happens. I hope I enjoy this when I’m completely gone.

It was 3 A.M. when the doorbell rang. I woke up in a panic, almost falling out of my bed. A pit of dread rose in my stomach, while confusion and fear invaded my mind. I’m home alone, it’s dark, and I don’t know what to do. Oddly enough, I laid back down acting like it was a one time occurrence. The rain poured through the night sky and devoured the silence, until it rang again. I jumped out of my bed and immediately grabbed my phone to call my mom. The phone stayed black and did not turn on, it was dead. I forgot that I lost my charger, my body became paralyzed. Panic started to rush through my body as the doorbell rang again, for the third time. Questions poured into my head. Who can it be? What can it be? Why here? Am I going to die? Will I ever see my family again? Will I- My thoughts became abruptly interrupted by the fourth ring. My breathing started to become rapid and I just wanted to run. I tried to calm myself by thinking it was nothing, but lying to myself didn’t work. Nothing worked, I kept pacing in my room, freaking out until I remembered there was a house phone downstairs. I started to focus, but the bell rang for the fifth time. I grabbed a flashlight just in case the person or thing outside could have been able see the house lights being turned on. I hesitated to leave the room, knowing that I may be leaving my safe haven. I ran to the stairs as thunder boomed throughout the house. I got startled and froze once the stairs were in front of me. I slowly put my foot onto the first stair and it creaked. The bell rang three more times before I reached the bottom of the stairs. With the door in front of me, more thoughts crept into my mind. What if the door is open? What if they have a gun? What if it is- “NO!” I yelled out of frustration. For a moment, there was real silence in the house. The stranger started to pound on the door, knowing someone was actually in the house. I ran to the kitchen, where I thought I would be saved. The doorbell rang eight more times before I reached the phone. I grabbed it and dialed 911. The anticipation started to kill me as it rang.

“Hello, 911 what’s your emergency.” the operator said in a monotone and somewhat soothing voice.

“Hi my name is-” the power was cut off and the phone became silent. My eyes blankly stared at the phone. I threw the phone towards the wall, shattering in into pieces. I started to scream and yell as the doorbell rang for the seventeenth time. I was angry, tired, and I didn't know who or what was outside. So I grabbed a knife and stomped angrily towards the door. My hand touched the cold handle, I quickly unlocked the door, and swung it open. Nothing… Nothing at all… The only thing in front of me was the porch and millions of tiny raindrops. I stared blankly as the knife slipped from my hand. I slowly closed the door, doing a double take before I locked it. I stopped and suddenly turned around quickly, expecting something to be behind me. Again, nothing at all. A chuckle escaped me, why did I think this was funny? Without thinking about it, I walked up the stairs and plopped onto my bed. All my frustration, anxiety, and fear were gone. My eyes became heavy as I lay in the warmth of my covers. Everything turned to pitch black as my eyes finally close. This would be the last time I would ever experience any type of relief and happiness.

It was 3 A.M. when the doorbell rang again. I jumped out of bed, scared. I didn’t bother to check my phone, instead I ran down the stairs. Thunder boomed through the house as I reached the door and opened it. There was nothing in front of me, I walked out into the rain. That’s when I realized, I was experiencing the same night again. To say the least, I’ve through this 356 times. Nothing has changed, I can’t explain it. I’ve done everything I could think of, unspeakable things. I’ve stayed awake, ignored the rings, I’ve even slept through them. I can’t escape this. I’m alone, suffering forever. I keep asking myself if I’m dead or in a hell of some sorts. The only thing I can do is think and I think I’m going crazy. I have no idea why I’m writing this, no one is going to read it anyway. I don’t know how long I can take this, I’m never going to escape. Please, someone help me. I’m dying in here. This madness is infinite!

Sincerely,

JD