Our last batch of writers is here!!

Remember to read all of the selections for this month  (May)--   comments are for this latest group only (no earlier months/submissions, or last year's submissions)

All Students:  Be sure to read the entries for this group  (May writers).  Everyone is required to comment on at least TWO different pieces of writing.  You must post the comment here on the blog (below the post is the "comments" link to click) AND cut and paste your comments, complete with dates and times, on to a Word document and turn it in to me by May 16.  You must do both to get credit for comments this month.

Remember, comments must be positive, supportive, constructive, and SPECIFIC.  No "Good Job!" comments, unless you follow that with specific things you thought were done well in the piece.  Show them you actually took the time to read and enjoy their work!

"Verdict " by Adam H

Dear Mr. Nocente,

     I’m sure you don’t know me. In fact, I’m quite positive it’s not in your best desire to. In any slight chance you do, you most likely know my face, or merely the parts you were able to make out in front of welling tears. You may despise me, you may yearn I live an eternal hell for the remainder of my life; quite frankly, I cannot blame you. 

     I received that dreaded notice, embossed “Jury Summons,” stamped with my name and a mandatory date to be met. I longed for a liable reason to skip and in looking high and low, far and wide, I found myself ultimately sitting in that twelve-seated box. In front of my eyes there you sat, weakly fitted in an, unironed, ebony, pinstripe, suit with a blood red tie sloppily around your neck with shoes almost as dull as the color in your abysmal black eyes. Your teeth were gritty and pasted white. You hair undone and knotted as if the wrong side of the bed woke up on you. Granted, it wasn't from bad hygiene, you were a complete wreck sweating from head to toe the moment you walked in. A man in his thirties with his whole life ahead of him, you were scared to hear the verdict, I’d never wish this position on my worst enemy. Your lawyer assured you he had it under control, but you already knew your fate deep down. You knew you couldn’t spend the money for a proper lawyer, kids were always first priority. He had been unorganized and late all week, but he already took your money so you had no other choice. 

     Salty tears dripped down from the laminated family photos of sleek plastic you pulled from your wallet. Two fraternal twin babes, around the age of four, happy and oblivious to the current state of their father. Your mother sat behind in the spectator seating. Short, black, french heels, and a reserved long black dress looking hopeless, tears filling her black eyes, but she didn’t let you see. She wanted to be strong for you, strong for herself. She stared askance at us and mouthed the words through blood colored lip gloss “he’s innocent,” more to assure herself than us. To be quite candid, no one was sure they knew. When the trial started I heard the witnesses and the victim speak vain of you. One after another I heard how jealous you were of him. How much you would’ve gained from his death. How you would pass at his wife and risk to lose it all just for her. Guilty of murder, your best friend of two decades, I was utterly shocked. Those fake tears I thought, how despicable. Recalling the event’s, the unfortunate widow cried, and stumbled across the hall in an emotional flurry. She could barely hold her composure, and you sat there, dazed. The jury, the judge, the audience, even your lawyer stared blankly at you, all but your

mother. Through the beam of eyes you only noticed as she followed the girl’s footsteps out of the courtroom, each heel mildly tripping over each other in a fit of poised despair. You saw her one last time on the front paper the next day. 

     Deciding our verdict, everyone was in sudden relief to hear the four decade imprisonment, the evidence against you was seemingly undeniable. You collapsed on the floor until you were forcibly taken by security. It felt like such an accomplishment to get a murderer off the street, to give a poor widow some closure. Twenty-seven years later we hear the truth spill out as the widow framed you for her own sinful adultery, for the lump-sum of life insurance. Twenty-seven years later you’re let out with mild compensation. Twenty-seven years later your orphaned kids have already called someone else their father. Twenty-seven years later and now over half of your life disappeared behind concrete walls and steel bars. 

     You must be wondering why I write this to you, why I recall such a traumatic memory back to the forefront of your mind. As one of the jurors, I cordially apologize. I could never forgive myself for voting you guilty, for being one of the twelve to send you behind an eternity of despair. 

Regards,

"Warmth " by Simran T

     As an Intern on the Pediatric floor, I saw a lot of things, things that made me happy but also things that saddened me to the point where it would affect my whole day. One specific instance still resides deep in my heart, however, and this incident helped me realize that, although the hospital is a place of pain and sadness, it is also a place of healing, happiness and warmth.
     I was roaming the halls, doing my usual rounds. It was cold, the eerie hospitable type of cold that rattles your bones. I wasn’t having a very good day and was just patiently eyeing the clock to see when I would be able to go home. Then, a low cry started filling the halls, I rushed to the source of the sound and my heart dropped. A two day old baby girl lay in her hospital crib wailing. I notified the nurse and asked where her family was. The nurse looked at me and said, “Honey, brace yourself because I am about to tell you one sad story.” I braced myself, and listened as the words came pouring out of her.
     In short, the baby’s mother was a severe drug addict. So severe, that the baby was born an addict herself. A two day old, innocent baby was addicted to a lethal drug. The nurse then continued about how the mother didn't even realize that she had given birth and how the baby has no family to be with her. The mother herself was in the ICU in critical condition due to her drug abuse. The nurse looked at me and said, “Can you do me a favor? That baby needs warmth, she needs human contact to calm down and rest.” I was nervous but I said that it would be my pleasure. I walked into the room, sanitized, and sat down in the rocking chair. The nurse unhooked the baby from the tal machines around her and set her into my arms. She instantly stopped crying and lay there in silence. I rocked her back and forth and made sure she was warm, that she felt warmth from my touch. Then, me being the emotional girl I am, I started crying uncontrollably. She was just so small and so sweet and I felt this wave of pain because I didn’t know i she was going to have the life she deserved. I didn’t know if she was going to be okay or if she was going to be mistreated. I suddenly felt responsible for her and was overwhelmed by this weight I felt deep in my chest. I cried for about an hour and then calmed down. I decided to instead enjoy the moment and pray that she would be happy, that she would be loved and taken care of.
     My time with her had come to an end because my shift was about to end. I reluctantly rose up an placed her little sleeping body back into her crib. She looked as if she was finally at peace, finally warm and content. Thankfully, as soon as I set her back, a lady walked through the door. She was beautiful and young, probably about early 30’s. She seemed nervous but excited at the same time. She turned out to be the sister of the baby’s mother. I was relieved beyond words that this little girl would have someone to comfort her, someone to hold her like she deserved to be held. The baby’s aunt told me she was grateful for me and that she would take custody of the baby if the mother does not proceed with rehab for her drug abuse. I was relieved at this turn of events and left the room at ease because I knew this baby would be okay.
     I want to be a Pediatrician, and this experience taught me that although there is so much wrong that goes on within the hospital walls, there is room for good, too. There is room for beauty and for love and warmth. I had the beautiful opportunity to be a blessing to this sweet

little girl who just needed the warmth of another human being. Not only did I impact her, but she impacted me. She taught me that I have the power to do some good, however big, however small the act may be. I have power to impact the lives of others and I should never stop searching for moments in which I can help someone out. This small baby girl clarified my dreams of becoming a Pediatrician and I wish I could tell her how much she has impacted my life since I got the privilege to be there for her.

"Love Galore" by Isabella C

Love. It is hidden within every single living body on Earth. Everyone experiences it at some point in their life, whether their experience is good or bad. As for me, I never want to let go of that feeling. I would recommend to everyone I know, even my worst enemy. It consumes your body from those little hairs poking out of your head to the bottom of your toes. My experience with love has been varied. Starting from the very beginning inside of my mother's womb, I got more than enough love from my family. I would say that I was blessed with such a loving family. They essentially were my first love. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. They have helped me to become the person that I am today. I am forever grateful for them. Continuing on, in elementary school I would have classmates that I would classify as “my boyfriend” and say, “I love you.” to. Years went by and I realized how juvenile that was of me. Middle school was just an awkward phase for me where I was not focused on boys at all. Things never started getting serious for me in my love relationships until my sophomore year of high school. That was the first time I experienced real love outside of my family. It was unreal. The feelings of butterflies that would start to form in your stomach when seeing their face was so unreal. It really was like a movie. Fortunately, I have had my first love, unfortunately, that love was not love that I was meant to keep in my life. Although that was a bad start to my love life, I was still young. I did not give up. There was still so much hope for me! Month after month would go by and soon enough I was a junior who was 2 months away from being a senior when BOOM, love came around. Officially it was April 20th, 2018. The feeling was invigorating, every inch of my body would be thriving with happiness every single day. Everytime he comes around I feel like glitter. From the small moments such as our tiny picnics or running errands together to our big moments like traveling to Spain together, there is nothing that I would change. It is amazing. One thing to know about love is that there are going to be ups and downs. Not everyday is going to be the same. Love is like a flower, it takes a long time to grow but once it blooms it’s beautiful. People just need to remember to continue to keep watering their flowers. Without water the flower begins to die and eventually diminishes. Overall, love is something that different people have different feelings about. Some love it, some hate it. I recommend to go out and find love today! Just remember to be prepared to work for it sometimes. Love can open new doors to yourself and to others, and without love the world may not be what it is today.

"Etiwanda" by Sophia C

I am done. High school has been my biggest blessing and hardship. The things I have gone through in this place have made and broke me. I have cried in the A building halls, laughed til my stomach hurt in the J building and thrown up in the nurse's office. I can remember walking next to the B building because I just had to walk all my friends to class. I wish I knew how dumb that was back then.When I think back to my underclassmen years I think of waiting at school with my best friend at the time till six at night, because our rides wouldn't pick us up. When we were on campus by ourselves and it would get dark we would have some of the best memories together . We would talk about our life, school, dreams and aspirations. It is those days after school that I will forever hold close to my heart. If I had the chance to go back I wouldn't change a single thing because all the mistakes I made helped me grow into the person I am today. I live my life with no regrets because I know if they didn’t happen I wouldn’t be the person I am. I believe that without making mistakes in the past you can’t really call yourself mature. Freshmen year was the year I grew up and I learned that I didn’t always have to listen to my parents and its okay to be disobedient. It’s how you are truly able to find yourself, I believe that it was highschool did for me. I learned that it's okay to mess up and live your life the way you want it.
I have gone through the most influential period of my life in high school. Freshmen year when I thought I was so cool when I really wasn’t. Sophomore year when I just couldn’t get my life together. Junior year when I thought my life was shattering in front of me and I couldn’t survive.Junior year was probably the year where I questioned my sanity. I was in over my head with academic courses and my life as I knew it was falling apart. My parents announced their divorce in the beginning of my junior year. My home life was a mess the constant arguing and the struggles that I was facing wasn't helping me academically. I was drowning and felt completely alone. What made things better was the consistency of school and knowing that no matter what my classes and teachers will always be there. There were alot of times though that I couldn’t even bring myself to go to school. It was when I barely showed up to school and it got so bad that the school sent me a letter informing me that I had missed one hundred and eight periods in the entire school year. That is when I knew I had hit rock bottom. I had to get my life back on track and personal problems weren't going to get in the way of that.Finally it was senior year and my life came together and I met amazing people who I know will be my life long friends. This is the year that I found out what I wanted to do with my life and not having other people decide for me. I have found my passion and what I want to pursue in the future. These past four years have helped me figure out what I want to do my life, with my career and family. I have learned that I shouldn’t base my decisions on other people and do what makes me happy. This summer and the rest of my life will be for me.I will do what I think is best for me and live my life how I want to .Etiwanda has taught me a lot but I am a like a bird who has grown up and is ready to fly into the world. I might hit a few hard breezes but I know that I will be fine. The reason I am so sure of it because of the lessons that Etiwanda has taught me. So I am a positive that when I finally am able to soar away and see the world with my own eyes I will be okay

because I am a eagle. That is what Etiwanda has done for me, it allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Eagle Pride!

“HOW TO: Treat Yourself” by Ella Jane M

There are certain people in our lives who sacrifice themselves for others. Being able to give your energy, love, and sled so that someone else may prosper is a wonderful act, ot even when you’re able to give and completely burn yourself out just to get an assignment done or finish something on time, however, there can be a strain on your mental health. Here are some steps to help take care of yourself and in the end reaching your goal with a whole mind : 

STEP1: stop what you’re doing and clear your mind.It may be easier said than done,but work on focusing your mind and your goals. Having a messy mind creates messy situations and may even lead you to be forgetful, a couple thoughts here and there hidden behind so many others. Keeping track of what you’re thinking and stopping your thoughts from running around is one of the first steps to help clear your head. 

STEP 2: Think about the most important and most realistic goal you need to accomplish as of right now if it’s getting gas in your car or finishing an assignment, know what needs to be done. If there’s a race and no finish line would you run it ? 

STEP3: Put that thought into action.Do what you were telling yourself to do,it’ sgood to have a good mental stance and it’s a big step in completing your goal, however if you don’t actually do it then how is it going to get done ? Putting others needs before yours does make you a generous and thoughtful person, but not doing what needs to be done in your life and within yourself puts you down a path where you’re living someone else’s life, not yours. 

STEP4: Be confident and convinced about the decisions you make.Hesitating on things will cause you to overthink and will overwhelm your brain. Think of a choice as something your can’t go back on. Make a choice, stick with it, be confident, and if anything goes wrong you can move on from there. “Always forward, never back.” 

STEP 5: Believe that you deserve more. Don’t think that because of some mistakes you have made or some thoughts you had thought hold you back from being someone who deserves a good and successful life. You can never change the past, but the future is yours. It’s cheesy and has been said over and over but it’s true. You’re here and alive to see another day, take that and reach your goal not only to show others, but to prove to yourself who you are. 

You may follow hear steps at your own discretion, everyone has their own routines and different ways to cope, but really listening to what your want and letting yourself speak will make you more connected to who you really are.

"Inspiration" by Nicholas S

     What inspires you? When we think of major inspirations some might think of Jackie Robinson or even Elon Musk for some. I asked this question the other day to a few of my friends with varying responses. A few said nothing inspires them, few mentioned real people, and the others just said Goku. But no matter how obscure some of them might be, they don’t mean any less than the more common answers. Living or not, anything has the ability to inspire and help shape the person that you are. The topic came across my mind recently when thinking about who I was, and how I ended up as this weird pile of feelings. When I first thought about what things might have inspired me throughout my life, I could not think of a single thing that I felt inspired me. But that was because I was narrowing down my options to only real influential people instead of thinking about the bigger picture. I might not have been inspired by some famous guy or girl but I found out that early on even now, what inspired me most was music. Music really helped inspire me to create and to go out and do a lot of things that I never knew I could do. It helps motivate and power through rough times and ultimately it helped shape me into the person that I am today. This was just a small example of how inspirations affect us but inspiration is important to our society as a whole even throughout history. The people that inspire a majority of us today were most likely inspired themselves to become the person that they are now. We don’t need to be inspired by people exclusively however. Even things like video games or cartoons might inspire some. Characters from media can inspire people to be brave or even kind to people. More recently, Marvel movies and their characters have been inspire millions even if they aren't real. I can imagine that millions of people either young or old have been inspired by the heroic acts Iron Man might make on screen.
     I believe it’s also important to strive to become an inspiration to others as well. You might already be an inspiration to some, and you just don’t know it yet. To be an inspiration you don’t necessarily need to be talented by any means, but of course you can’t just do nothing and expect people to be inspired by your actions. People might see the effort you put into your work or see how you manage to keep a smile on your face even through difficult times and be inspired by that. Your future or present job may even be inspiring to some, no matter the job. Of course i'm not trying to say that you should do things just to inspire other people. You should be doing things because you want to do them not just to inspire people, but we can also inspire people with what we do.

"Chance vs. Choice" by Audrie T

There aren't very many things in this world that I know.
I know what I know, and I don't know what I do not, and there isn't much I can do about it. I can try to rationalize why things happen the way they do- why certain things are assured and others are not- but ‘try’ is the imperative word here- because there is no way to rationalize why things happen the way they do. Is it fate? Is a divine intervention? Are the events of a life the result of some greater plan?
I’m supposed to start living life like an adult with hopes and plans for their future soon, and a part of me wants to believe that things will go the way they're supposed to- that whatever is supposed to happen will happen, and I won't have to make my choices for myself.
But, action is key, and the only way things will happen the way I want them to is to make sure that they do.
I have this friend. She’s a lot younger than me and alot more optimistic- probably something that can be attributed to her youth. She often tells me, when I get a little heated because of school, ‘that's just how the cookie crumbles’, like I have no control over what happens in my life. But I do- despite what some think. We all have choices, and yeah, some things happen that are completely out of our control, completely chance events, but we are always at liberty to make decisions that can change those things for the better. Sometimes I do prefer to think ‘them's the breaks’ and have something else to blame for my bad decisions- but that’d be a terrible mindest to live in all the time. Life doesn't just happen to you, you happen to life.
Maybe there is fate, or destiny, or divine intervention at play here, but we always have choices, and free will. We can change what happens to us- we just have to actually try.
I don't know very many things- but, I’d like to say I’m pretty sure that things happen because we make them happen- not because they just can . My only hope is that I’m able to make the good choice, and that things will end up working in my favor.

"Me and 5 Others" by Carlos V

Let me start off by saying that this is part of a novel that I’ve been working on for a little while I hope you enjoy it:) 

     Good evening erm, you, my name is Nicholas Villafuerte I am a freshman of the wonderfully horrible school of San Juakeen High... in San Juakeen... in Southern California. I’ve lived in this town for a very long time, basically all my life. My dad passed away when I was about two he was in the military and was K.I.A. so my mom takes care of me if that’s what you want to call it. She is a horrible mother I’m sad to say, she lacks necessary parenting skills plus she’s an alcoholic so that makes everything so much worse and she hasn’t worked in years. Were the stereotypical welfare family that’s living on Obama Care or something like that. Well anyway enough of that sad single tear stuff lemme tell you what this hunk of a string bean looks like I’m kinda tall, about six foot I got thick wavy jet black hair with poop color eyes. I’m genuinely a nice kid I guess but I can be manipulated very easily, very very easily.
     You are very interesting to me, because you’re not like the others. You don’t talk you just observe. Oh! You don’t know the others. Well, let’s just say that I have a... condition. See the thing is I hear these voices in my head. I’ve been hearing them for a while like 4 years, maybe, back when I was around eleven I think. There are four of them, five including you, I gave each of them a name. First the voice that popped out of nowhere Camron. He has a crazy psychotic kinda personality I don’t trust him, ost of the time. Next there’s Mike, he is ALWAYS pissed off for some reason. He’s just, mad. Third comes Luis he’s erm shall we say, mental. No judgment whatsoever just acts without thinking, his morals are there, but he is more of a do it now personality. Finally poor ole Samson he’s a fellow that will make you, even in the happiest days, cry as hard as watching TFIOS for the first time. If I could describe Samson in a color he would be a dark blue. Now there’s you, I can’t really call you anything so you’ll be Watcher because all you are doing is watching.
      Well Watcher my story for you will start here in boring Mr. Cunningham’s English class. The show is about to start get your popcorn cause it’s gonna be a doozy. Damn! He’s handing out test?! I didn’t know we had a test!
     CAMRON: You didn’t study for this test! did you Idiot?! Ha!
      SAMSON: Camron please. Be nice. He sometimes forgets.
      “Can you guys keep down. I’m trying to concentrate,” I say to them aloud. A few kids
turn around some with concern because the English class was dead silent as though they had just finished reading MacBeth. One of them was one of my friends, not that I had many or any, his name is Ernesto I call him Big’O because he is, shall we say, pleasantly plump, he is always in need of a haircut because his hair always covers the top of his eyes. His appearance is kind of interesting he wears baggy, bland clothing every day. He is basically. Big. He gives me this strange stare I stare back then make a stupid looking face. He chuckles softly but then abruptly stops after seeing Mr. Cunningham glance in our direction.
     CAMRON: Ya. No. Nick, erm you have a test in front of you that you might wanna get to work on. Maybe you shouldn’t though. You don’t want to ruin your perfect four straight F’s in this class why not make it five!
     MIKE: Camron! Will you please shut up!
     CAMRON: Ouch! I’m sensing a lot of hostility again Mike. This is why you don’t have many friends.

     MIKE : Oh, bite me!
     CAMRON : So, how you doin on the test dummy?
     ME : Not well you and Mike are throwing me way off can you two stop bickering like an
old married couple and let me concentrate I can’t get another F.
     MIKE and CAMRON: HEY!
     ME: Whatever I need to focus right now.
     CAMRON: No, what you need to do is get out of here. Look around people are starting
to notice.
      I look up and sure enough some people are still glancing at me for my random outburst.
My head begins to ring as it normally does.
      CAMRON: I don’t even understand why you even attempt to try to come to school it’s
not like you’ll amount to anything anyway
      LUIS: Run! As fast as you can and punch Cunningham on the way out square in the jaw. ME : I’M NOT DOING ANY OF THAT SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
My blood begins to boil and the ringing becomes louder faint whispers can be heard
followed by the boom of Camron’s voice.
      CAMRON: What’s wrong Nick? You don’t trust us? We’re the only ones that have ever
been there for you since the incident.
      SAMSON: Camron you shouldn’t have-
      CAMRON: Brought it up? Why not he’s going to dream about it anyway and I won’t let
him forget about it look at him trying to make friends it won’t be long until tubby over there stabs him in the back like Jace did.
     “DON’T EVER BRING UP THAT NAME AGAIN!” I screech with the entirety of my diaphram. With my eyes shut I punch my desk and stand up. The scratch of the chair on the floor brings me back to reality and I open my eyes to see that everyone is staring at me. Mixed faces of amusement, concern, and fright fix on my being. Mr. Cunningham begins to rise out of his chair, but before he can confront me or say anything I take half of Luis’ advice and race out the door. As I’m running, the hallway becomes longer and i feel as though I’m running in the same place not going anywhere but still going too fast to take in anything in. I feel shortness of breath The ringing from before now sounds like bells being rung with full force in my head and the whispers now are incoherent screams.  I begin to yell but no sound comes out of my mouth. The hallway soon looks like a tunnel and it gets longer and longer until the end becomes nonexistent
     CAMRON: Goodnight Nicholas. I fall to the floor and then Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.

"Movie Review- Swiss Army Man" by Andrew M

The movie Swiss Army Man starring Harry Potter is a brilliant and interesting movie that everyone should watch. The movie starts out in the ocean with a scraggly-bearded man named Hank getting ready to hang himself as he is stranded on an island showing how desperate, lonely, and isolated he is from the rest of the world. Then when Hank is about to jump off his stool into the darkness before him, he sees a floating body coming onto the sandy beach. Being full of hope he walks towards the body and the rope yanks him back, but is not strong enough to hold him and breaks as he wheezes and falls flat on the ground. He then runs over to see the body, only to notice it is dead and farting pretty powerfully. He gives up his last hope of being found and grabs the dead man's belt to use in place of the rope. As he jumps for the second time he sees the dead man farting away into the crashing waves and has an epiphany, He can use the body to escape. Grabbing the corpse, he does just that giving meaning to his life once again as he now has a chance to reach whatever home he has. This is all shown visually with the beautiful beach contrasting with the actions hank takes and then a majestic view as Hank escapes his prison on the back of Harry Potter flying through the waves on their way to who knows where. This intro is fantastically shot with the audience thrown into the strange life of Hank as he and the viewers find out about the powerful farts a body can have and escape the beach. What is also amazing about the intro and the whole movie is the soundtrack, it is full of amazing acapella vocals and beating drums connecting the audience to the natural scenes throughout the movie and stops as Hank and his corpse reach civilization. The music almost shows the audience just how hard Hank is working to survive as it uses human voices, the beating of the drums, and powerful encouraging notes. However the music has a wide range as it also can create an ominous tone throughout the use of low notes and soft lyrics in lonely or scary scenes. This intro is just the gate leading into the strange world that the audience and Hank find themselves in. So If you were interested just by the intro of the movie I recommend you watch it as it is so much more than a movie where you see Harry Potter fart really loud.

"Nothing Meaning Something" by Luke A

            The windows were rolled down as my Ford F-150 sped up the street, the crisp, cold breeze of the night air whipping through my hair. My left elbow was placed upon the opening of the driver’s side window, bent at an angle to where my chin could slightly rest upon my enclosed, clenched fist. The aux cord was plugged into my phone, with my stereo’s subs turned all the way to maximize the bass. I could feel the vibrations within my hand as I gripped the steering wheel, the stereo playing the somber song of Come and See Me, by PARTYNEXTDOOR and Drake. As I reached the narrow stretch of road up ahead, the streetlights disappeared, leaving my headlights as the only source of direction I had. Soon enough, the infamous gated community appeared in front of me, surrounded with warm lights and paved brick sidewalks. As I reached the gate, I completely whipped the car around, drove for about 10 feet, and shifted the gear into park against the curb. I felt the soft fabric of my lanyard graze my knee, as I twisted the key slightly in the ignition, turning the engine off but leaving the stereo system on. I draped the lanyard around my neck, walked to the edge of the sidewalk, and looked over at the whole entire city. All around me were lights stretching as far as to the mountains miles away from where I stood. Hundreds of thousands of people were living their lives, either driving on the freeway or simply just sleeping in their beds in their houses. For some reason, I felt that something was missing, but I couldn’t tell if it was something absent from my surroundings or some part of myself that I had been missing, but all the noise around me had just blocked it out, until now. I had never felt so utterly alone and so coldly numb.

            I couldn’t seem to feel anymore, as if my emotions had shut themselves down without notice. I felt no sadness, depression or negativity, nor happiness, joy, or warmth. I quickly realized that I had been this way for some time, but the distractions around me had provided a diversion away from myself. Why couldn’t I feel a thing? All my life I had known that there was so much more in the world to be felt, discovered, experienced, and enjoyed. It gave me purpose to continue living, whilst constantly changing and evolving. But yet, standing there hundreds of feet above the rest of the valley, I could not feel a single thing. When had I lost this part of me along the way? Or was this who I had always been? A nihilistic, numbed, emotionally distant man who thought nothing meant anything. That we are all simply existing in a struggle of life as we push an immense boulder up a steep hill, with no end in sight. Did anything really mean anything? Maybe life itself and the experiences thereof don’t actually have real value. Maybe value can only be given by someone or something. Or maybe none of this mattered either. Maybe I was just thinking too much. And maybe I was just a dumb teenager, thinking he knew more than what he really knew. As I got back in my truck I drove home in silence. No radio, no stereo, not even a single hum. Whether anything I cared about actually mattered, I thought that perhaps my perspective upon what I thought mattered determined

my outlook towards the world. But even that I wasn’t so sure about. Then, suddenly, a smile crept across my face as I looked out my window, up into the black sky above, knowing that in 5 years I would forget all about this, knowing that, in this moment, it all didn’t really matter.

           

"Freedom" by Betheni A

     Sophomore year. Yeah, even the word itself sounds ridiculous. “Sophos” meaning wise in Greek and “Moros” meaning fool. I guess you could say it was true, or at least in my case you’d definitely say it was fitting. Sophomore year: the transitory year between being a newborn highschool teenager or what we used to consider a “real” teenager back then at the age of 15, and the matured junior class. Not the kind you saw stuck in middle school P.E., the ones relishing in the fact that they were finally a foot taller than the rest of their peers who’d defined their entire universe as the space between the outlined chainlink school gates and the niche part of social media that the likes of “O2L” and One Direction inhabited. The age where you were stuck between, watching the real, responsible, independent, all-knowing “adults” of the upperclassmen focus on things like college and job applications. Sometime around April after about 6 months of driver’s education training and countless car rides where I wished my dad would just Let. Me. Drive. I had finally passed the test and got my license. Then I had an idea; I would convince my dad to let me borrow the car and I’d pick up any of my friends who weren’t busy and we would... do... something... or whatever. I’m sure you can imagine how that conversation went... Surprise! He said yes! Thirty minutes later and I was ready, no  We were ready to take on the world. With my friend Jacobo sitting in the passenger of my aunt’s 4Runner, and about a quarter tank of gas we set off into the winding roads of Inland Empire suburbia with nothing but a dream (the dream was having a working aux) and about an hour of daylight. The sun was

shining as we crawled past Windrows elementary and the falling leaves of the giant, swaying trees along the road. Cobo had Humble by Kendrick blaring out of his phone’s speakers on the dash and after a few minutes I had finally relaxed into what driving without supervision was like. We didn’t have anywhere to go , no plan or goal in mind. We were existing and seeing life pass by and passing life by at a cool 20 miles per hour. I did my best to keep my eyes on the road and away from my friend’s overly enthusiastic front-seat-restrained-by-a-seatbelt dancing. It felt so freeing and although we were in a metal death trap moving faster than we’d be able to run I felt safe and for the first time that year I saw a future for myself, a future where I could be on my own and be okay. Eventually we decided to drive to a gas station and look for an aux cord. The muffled iphone speakers were definitely not cutting it, and as we were both on this ride if we split on the aux we’d both be able to enjoy it. So we gathered up the crumbled dollar bills and loose change and walked out of the Chevron with a flimsy clearly-made-to-break cord but it felt like we’d finally got what we needed to make our sophomore adventure perfect. Turns out, we didn’t even know where to plug it in and by the time we found it it was time to go home. Although that aspect of our drive was completely anticlimactic it’s my favorite part of that day. I’d never been out of my house without supervision, without a ride to and from my destination, or without a detailed plan for what I was doing. I’m not sure if it was the fact that I was with one of my favorite people, if it was the weather and the birds chirping, or if it was the freedom of being in control of where I wanted to go and having the means to go there. At the time I didn’t realize it but I was creating one of my most memorable and favorite memories. That day I learned that spontaneity had a place in my life, that the best memories can be completely unplanned, and that I was happier when I was able to make my own decisions and experience the

world outside of my parents’ house. It was significant because from then on the way I viewed myself and what I was capable of, what I was capable of making my future into, no longer seemed like a fantasy. I waited 16 years to have that freedom, and if I held on there was only more of it out there to experience. Breathing was easier knowing there was a future me out there with only herself to answer to and the whole world to explore, I just had to wait a little longer to take that drive.

"Opportunities" by Kayla H

      Why are we so quick to doubt ourselves? Is it because we believe we are not good
enough? Or not smart enough? Even when we are told that it is possible, we believe the exact opposite. Throughout my life I've always doubted myself, mainly because I believe the negative comments that people say about me. So I don't try. I believe that if that is what people think about me while i'm trying then why try at all. I constantly doubt myself about the smallest things which has leaded up to anxiety and overstressing. Although this negativity in my life is a constant reminder of my insecurities, I've learned to use that as my motivation. To do better and prove everyone wrong. I've been given so many opportunities in my life and all I can wonder is why, why me? Why was I finally chosen to correct my mistakes and change. Out of everyone who is going through the same thing, or maybe worse, I was given an opportunity. An opportunity that will define me in all my glory. Being handed this opportunity gives me a fresh start, to start from scratch and a chance to redefine myself. “ When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade” is the saying people say to imply that when you have been given an opportunity, you make something out of it. So what will i make out of this opportunity? I've spent my entire life cruising about , not worrying about the fact that my actions have consequences. And by those actions I mean not focusing on my future and the consequence has lead me questioning myself and the people who claim to be there for me.
     Being blessed with this opportunity was not just handed to me, but had to be worked for. My mother, a strong beautiful woman, was the one who encourages me to work hard. She, out of everyone, is the only one who is by my side when I need her. She is the only one who believes that I can do anything that I put my mind to. When I got the letter from the college program that I

applied for, my mom had just picked me up from school. I was overwhelmed with thoughts. What if i didn’t get in? What if I wasn’t good enough to make it? What will my parents think of me? Because they only excepted sophomores, this was the only chance I had to prove everyone wrong. As soon as my thoughts cleared up, my whole family watched as I slowly opened the letter that will soon lead me to a better future. As I read the letter, my eyes lit up with joy knowing that I had been accepted. Suddenly I didn’t feel that sense of disappointment or doubt that circles around my head. I felt proud, that something that I had worked hard for was finally my opportunity to change. Even though this program was an opportunity for me to make something of myself, meet new people, and try different things; it was also an opportunity to show my family that I am capable and ready to take on different obstacles through life.
     But still, to this day, i still wonder why out of all 400 girls that applied, they chose 50, and i was a part of that 50. Is it because i AM actually good enough? Or smart enough? Were all my thoughts and criticisms the only thing that has been stopping me from truly believing in myself and achieving something greater? I guess so because once I actually believed I could do something and I had that courage to try and risk failing, it was all worth it.