I remember the exact moment I mustered the ability to make actual use of my vocal
cords. I remember my mother’s eye swelling up with tears before finally letting the dam break and my father calling President Bush to issue a press conference right away. This was a significant time in United States history. I can so vividly recall the happiness and bright smiles all around me as I said my first words. Okay... so maybe that was a lie. I do not remember my first words but I have heard plenty of stories about the moment and at least I remember those (over exaggerated) stories. Although my first words were not the traditional “Mama” or “Dada”, they were authentic. Looking back on it, my first words definitely should have been something more memorable, but at that age I was just a parrot. I was unable to communicate my own thoughts and feelings. I could simply repeat words and simple phrases I had heard. So I guess the words I heard the most were: “I can’t”. Whether it was my dad telling my mother he can’t change diapers because it was mother and daughter bonding time or my mother telling my dad she can’t take out the trash because “the fumes made her nauseous”. Both were false.
I have always been told that a person’s first words can say a lot about his or her character. I agree. Even when I tried my best, I was just the little engine that couldn’t. At four years of age if you asked me to spell my name my only response was “I can’t”. I blame my parents for that. “K-y-l-e-i-g-h” was so unnecessary and difficult. And at eleven years of age, whenever my parents told me I should go play with the neighborhood kids, I would always say “I can’t”. I also blame my parents for that. Who makes a kid move right before the start of middle school? Seventeen years had passed and Judgement Day finally came. My first day as a senior. The world was ending. I wasn’t afraid of going to school nor was I scared of the workload I was about to receive from all my AP classes. But I just could not grow up. I absolutely cannot! These were my words to live by. It is so much easier to not try as opposed to trying and failing. So today, if you ask me to write a life narrative with 750+ words.. I would still say “I can’t”. But I have to try.
I have learned that it is unacceptable to not try. Is It easier? Yes. Could I escape the possible embarrassment of failing? Yes. Could I take a nap instead? Definitely yes. Could I build character and confidence? No. I was the same shy and simple-minded girl growing up. Much
like my parents false statements, saying “I can’t” was my way to avoid doing anything I was
afraid of or did not want to do. Never in my life could I have imagined that I would be on the path
that I am on today. However, I stopped saying “I can’t”. Well, I still say “I can’t” when my parents
yell at me to get out of bed and get ready for work in the morning and occasionally I might say it
when someone asks me to lend them some money. I no longer have an “I can’t” mindset. Ask
me to explain Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs theory and without hesitation I know I can. Even if
my explanation is as far off as can be, I can still try.
Since I have moved passed my fear of failure, I have accomplished things that even other people told me were impossible. This change in mindset is the reason I will be the first in my family to go to college. By allowing my fear of failure and my hope for success to coexist, I have began to live my life the way I had always wanted. There are times when all seems to be well and failure sneaks in through the Trojan Horse, but battles have unexpected turns. So when I do fail, I will gladly fail until there is the slightest difference in the outcome. Because I can. I can handle the stress. I can fail and still learn an important lesson. I can accept that I will not always have my family and friends there to guide me and make important life decisions. I can spell my name. I can’t go outside and play with the neighborhood kids but only because by now they’re all grown up and probably off to college. But from now on I will no longer say “I can’t”. I can and I will.
I will write my life narrative and I will face judgement. It can’t hurt to try.
Since I have moved passed my fear of failure, I have accomplished things that even other people told me were impossible. This change in mindset is the reason I will be the first in my family to go to college. By allowing my fear of failure and my hope for success to coexist, I have began to live my life the way I had always wanted. There are times when all seems to be well and failure sneaks in through the Trojan Horse, but battles have unexpected turns. So when I do fail, I will gladly fail until there is the slightest difference in the outcome. Because I can. I can handle the stress. I can fail and still learn an important lesson. I can accept that I will not always have my family and friends there to guide me and make important life decisions. I can spell my name. I can’t go outside and play with the neighborhood kids but only because by now they’re all grown up and probably off to college. But from now on I will no longer say “I can’t”. I can and I will.
I will write my life narrative and I will face judgement. It can’t hurt to try.
22 comments:
Kyleigh!! I really loved reading your narrative. I can really relate to this, because I have also been so scared of being judged throughout my life. But just like you, I couldn't care about what other people thought, and I had to try. I loved your piece, great job!
Kyleigh, it is clear that in your writing, you have been able to express the change in your mindset over time. I can tell from reading that you were able to eventually grow out of the the pessimistic, defeatist attitude you once had in your youth, to one that looks towards the future with optimism. It is clear from the anecdotes you share about your early life that you didn't exactly have the most encouraging of people surrounding you, which made you terrified of trying and failing at the risk of humiliation. It is clear that you have developed over time to embrace failure as a teaching force that has no reason to be feared. Overall, you've made an impressive piece that also inspires others not to worry about failing, because "it can't hurt to try."
~ Lance Anthony Aquino (Period 1)
Kyleigh,
I absolutely loved the humor at the start of your post. It is an instant attention grabber, and the lighthearted tone truly emphasizes the more serious tone you switch to later. The transition between the humorous start and your drive to try even if you fail was seamless, and your character development was beautifully written. Amazing job!
-Sara An
Kyleigh! Your piece definitely shows your growth from a little girl to a young lady, which makes this piece very relatable (especially the part about your name)! I love all the little anecdotes you have included in your story, because I also thought everything was a challenge as a little girl :)
-Xiaoqing Zhong p.4
Going to be honest, I thought I was reading a really weird fiction story given the first paragraph but the exaggeration and humor was actually really funny to read. Your connection between your first words and your personality was really unique and I'm really impressed by it. Your progression as a person and in overcoming those words were amazing to read and it makes me want to say "I can" too!
Kyleigh, I was able to relate to the themes in this piece in an incredible way and it provided me with insight into your character. I am impressed with your humility and ability to create such a personal atmosphere in your writing. Great work!
-Ashley Sierra-Tillery
Your first paragraph was so funny, especially because I can totally relate to the having heard stories so many times that they're practically memories. Furthermore, I love how you used very vivid examples of times when you had to say"I can't." It was great to see how even though that attitude continued throught to he beginning of your senior year, you managed to prevail and overcome it.
In all seriousness, this was very well written and many stories were covered and it almost felt as if the events just happened and not just a memory. A great piece.
I admire the way you discussed your early mindset of how you had an internal struggle inherited from your household because it caused you to not have a tendency to try even when you knew that there would be no negative outcome. My attention really focused on the part where you told the audience that you have developed this mindset almost your whole life and now that you are at a point of maturity you still tend to regress. I also admire this obstacle in your life that you needed to overcome because it shows the reader one of the best qualities about you which you struggled before to discover. Great work!
- David G Jimenez
We all go through times of self doubt in our lives, thinking that we cannot do or accomplish anything, and because of that we feel embarrassed or even inadequate. You captured that perfectly. Especially combining that with the fact that you take AP courses, failure is most likely something that you do not want despite is necessity for growth, just like many of us. Great job!!
I love the way you took something that brought you down and grew from it. I also admire your sense of humor and playful way of writing. It was eye opening to read such an uplifting narrative. Your way of writing makes it easy to believe that we can overcome any of our challenges. One thing the stood out to me the most was your use of figurative language to describe a feeling/scene. For example, when you used the metaphor "failure sneaks in through the Trojan Horse". I thought this line was so ingenious because it relates how you feel to a time in history. Overall, great job! I loved your narrative. -Kailee Hinds
I really enjoyed your blog. I loved the light tone and how you show your personal growth throughout your life. The change of mind-set that you developed was inspiring. The way you told your story was fun and kept the reader wanting to read more.
This piece seriously caught my eye as soon as i read the first sentence. You really pull the reader in and allow them to be taken on this brief rollercoaster and then quickly sitting them down and embedding a life story in their brains. Your ability to reflect on the effect your parents words had on you as a child, even just a simple phrase like "I can't", is really reflective of who you have developed into as a young woman. Great Job! - Milena Codling 7:18pm
I like the hindsight-edness of it, where you represent why you say "i can't." I agree everyone says "i can't" too much, its aggravating, we need to be able to just DO! - Adam Huizar
Kyleigh, I absolutely adore your writing style. The anecdote at the beginning was hilarious, but at the same time very relatable in a serious manner. I know many of us can understand the feeling of preferring to give up, but you exemplified perfectly the fruits of continuing to persevere, especially when it doesn't seem like we're getting any positive results. Your piece made me a bit emotional because it reminded me of the way I grew up, and the high standards my parents placed upon me always make me feel like giving up and to stop striving for greatness. Thank you for giving your insight and sharing your personal experience, and most importantly reminding all of us that we can, and it can't hurt to try.
The beginning of the piece was very funny and relatable. Most of us can relate to our smallest accomplishment and blow it way out of porportion. our ability to understand that saying"I can't" should not be an excuse and that it does not define you. You have come way beyond this and your piece demonstrates that. Really great job!!
I'd like to say that I found your outlook on life particularly interesting, and to be honest, fairly relatable, too. I would also like to say that even though you said that you were same girl growing up, the sense that one must "bite the bullet" and get things done really is an aspect of maturity that is earned, and developed in life. Well, that's at least my opinion on it.
Very amazing Kyleigh, I like how you shifted from being fearful to giving your utmost effort in trying to explain Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs theory . I also liked the repetition of "I can't" because it serves as a constant reminder of how unwilling you were. Lastly, I loved how you used all of your failures and reshaped your acceptance to any tough situation(s) at hand.
- Mayur Chhitu
I loved reading this so much! I really enjoyed how you used a story from when you were little and translated how it affected you till this day, showing how you overcame the obstacle of doubting your abilities. Awesome work!
-Alyssa Nelson
This piece is written very well and it really made me think about my own mindset for situations like these. I loved the way that you started with your early life and progressed to today and how your mindset has changed in a more positive way. Overall, your piece is very inspiring and really made me think on how i can have more of a positive outlook on situations just like you.
Kyleigh this was the cutest story ever! I was so amazed by the multiple different stories told within one piece. Truly good job with this piece.
-Lexi Smith
Absolutely enamored by your writing style and voice! You pulled me in just with the title alone as that statement has resonated with me for as long as I can remember. I also commend you for your growth and bravery in the face of all your internal adversity. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy this quite personal and beautifully written piece! :)
-Jennifer Flores
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