"Yellow Is the Color of Goodbye " by Kaitlyn R

     In a world of black and blue, yellow was the only memory I could hold onto. But now.... Yellow is just the color of “goodbye”. Goodbye to familiarity. Goodbye to my only best friend. Goodbye to her, the mother that every orphan only dreams about having. Stuck with my nightmare day and night.

There I was, sitting on the edge of the deteriorating dock by the old-abandoned lake house. My toes brushing the water's surface. Tears streamed down my red hot cheeks and into that mossy lake. I missed her. Was Heaven even a real place? With my head down, I sang the lullaby she used to sing to me when I was a small child over and over to myself.

“Mama loves the baby Baby loves the mama Nana nana Naana! Nana Nana Naana! Baby loves the mama Mama loves the baby Nana nana Naana! Nana Nana Naana!” 

I chose to look back on the good times and blocked out all the bad, and remembered when she and I went to the park when I was 6 and I layed in her lap underneath a big, wide oak tree and we both giggled as she proceeded to count all my freckles. She told me that there were 100 angel kisses casted along my cheeks and nose and it made me feel special to be loved 100 times over.

Feeling alittle better, I stood up lazily and meandered back down the dock towards the lake house.
“Reese!.... Reese!!” Tasting the worry in my brother Sage’s voice, I turned around to see that he was sprinting towards me. “I looked everywhere for you! I was so scared!! What happened between you and Dad? He went into his study with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s after you left.”
I didn’t make eye contact with him. I didn't want him to see that I had been crying... or what had happened to my face.
But he did see.

“What is that?” He cried as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to where I faced him completely. “Did Dad do this to you?” No words came out of my mouth. Who else? Of course he

did! Dad won’t touch Sage because he's on the varsity wrestling team at school. I’m no “Daddy’s little one”. I’m more like “Daddy’s punching bag”.

Sage chose not to pry. I knew he understood, and he held me for a minute before we started walking back home together. We talked about her and how she used to let us draw on her long legs when we were bored as children. We then changed the subject to our dreams and aspirations.
As we neared home, shouts bursted from the house. Muffled yelling and the breaking of glass hitting drywall. Sage told me to wait outside and walked into the house cautiously.
“What is going on here?” I heard Sage press my father.
“All the chores arent finished, you worthless peice of crap! The dishes are as dirty as a mile of cow shit. I should’ve set you two kids up for adoption when I had the chance.” Dad yelled. I could hear Jack Daniels wavering in his voice.
“Okay, well, you know what? I can’t take it anymore! ” Sage screamed. “You and your hypocritical wants are driving me insane! I do everything around the house while you sit here and drink--...” SMACK! The walls shook with the vibrations. Dad hit Sage for the first time. I heard shuffling from inside. A couple seconds later, Sage came back outside with two backpacks full. His face still stung red and swollen from the hit. The trucks keys jingled in his palm and he tossed them to me. “We are leaving this town. You drive. Need to go to the gas station. We’re low.”

As I sat in the driver's seat, unease filtered through my worn down veins. Sage sat down in the passenger seat and heaved the two backpacks in the back.

“Let's go, Reese. Drive .” Right as he said that, my father came outside holding a small pistol and it was aiming right towards Sage. He was screaming at us. Sage started humming to drown him out. I was frozen and so very nervous. Dad was blistering red with sweat plastered hair. Never once did he take his eyes off Sage. Sage slid his hand towards the gearshift and put the truck in reverse to where my father wouldn't see his movements and whispered under his breath,

“When I say go , start the truck and reverse a hard left. Then drive straight for the gas station.”

My father kept walking towards the truck. Bottle of Jack Daniel’s in one hand, gun in the other. “You kids never listen! I've done everything for you! Your mother would've been so ashamed of both of you. You kids were nothing but cancer to her!...”

Dear Mommy,
The last time I saw you conscious, you were in the hospital bed, I hugged you around
your chest, but you wanted me to hug and kiss your face so that you could actually feel me around you rather than being under a glass roof... So close to what you want, but never being able to reach out and touch it. I took you for granted while you were alive, and I still take you for granted today. I blame you for everything yet nothing. I pray to God saying that I want a dream

of you in my sleep and I'm selfish in that way. I always have been. Anne Frank once said that “dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.” I realize that all I've ever done in my life is worry about when I get to see you, and when I can have your attention, and I’m sorry. I should've hugged and kissed your face for you rather than just hugging your chest for me because you were the one in need. Not me.
Sincerely Yours, Reese

“....As a matter of fact she died from it! Your fault! YOU TOOK MY WIFE AWAY FROM ME--GAVE HER LEUKEMIA BECAUSE IT'S ALL YOU KNOW !” The gun shook and tears spilled out of Dad’s glassy eyes. My mother was paralyzed from the neck down falling down a flight of stairs and weeks later, we found out she also had Leukemia.

“Go.” Sage whispered and I hit the gas and did exactly as my brother said. A loud BANG went off and hit the car and I drove off fast and didn't look back.

“We sure dodged that bullet didn't we, Sage?...... Sage?” I turned my head to my right to see my best friends yellow shirt stained red.