"My Purpose " by Victoria E

 Naturally, everyone wants to know his or her purpose. I know mine, however I'm not going to tell you what it is yet. Granted, reading this you will understand the one event that contributed to who I am. If you don't know me, or know nothing about me, you will now.   

My story begins with an enormous passion for a sport. It helped that I had natural God-given talent. I played soccer better than I spoke English. From the ages of five to sixteen, I was breathing, eating, and sleeping soccer. I could put on cleats faster than mascara and knew more about slide-tackles than acrylic nails. Many who watched me play the sport had endless compliments for me, including my father. In fact, the only reason my father and I had a great relationship was because of the beautiful sport. By the time I was fifteen, I had college scouts sitting on the sidelines of my games unapologetically decked out in their school colors. They observed my every move and scribbled on clipboards as if they were taking notes on an important school lecture. I had offers being thrown at me like candy and I was even being scouted for Olympic and National teams. This is part of the reason why I thought soccer was my purpose. Soccer brought me friendships, attention, and it brought me a future. Soccer was my purpose, my only purpose, till the day I learned it wasn't. 

It was January of my freshman year when my purpose broke. Literally it snapped, torn in half completely. It was a Friday night, game night. I was sprinting down the sidelines wearing my varsity jersey with my lucky number on my back. Ending my sprint, I planted my foot and felt the worst, sharpest pain of my life. The momentum and weight of my body put too much pressure on my knee. I heard four pops and the pain was so unbearable my whole leg went numb. I lay motionless on the artificial grass. My coach, teammates, and mom rushed the field and I was bombarded with questions. Yet, I didn’t hear them and I didn’t care to hear them. I knew what I had done. Although, I didn’t want to say it out loud in fear that just the words coming off my lips would set it in stone. However, a voice in the back of my head kept repeating it. "Tori you tore your ACL."  The Anterior Cruciate Ligament is a nonvascular ligament meaning the body cannot heal itself. The only way to repair it is through a three-hour knee surgery along with a twelve-month recovery. Every competitive female soccer player in their teens knew this was the worst injury anyone could have and was not even wished upon their worst enemy. I lost more than just playing time on that Friday night. I lost playing soccer for a year. I would not be able to play soccer to escape from my problems for a year. I would not be able to make my dad smile after a great pass or a great goal for a year. I lost my purpose for a year. At least, I thought I did. A month after what seemed like the worst game of my life, I traded my jersey for a hospital gown. I came out of surgery with a three-inch incision on my knee. I was extremely bitter. However, did you know that when you're stuck at home crippled lying in bed you have actual time to talk to your friends? Did you know that without soccer practice three times a week from six to nine you also have time to have real family dinners? How about, did you know that without games on the weekends you even have time to go to church? I never knew these things. I was unfamiliar with the concept of extra time because normally soccer took all of it. In fact, I was so used to soccer and only soccer I had no idea what to do with all this extra time I had. Thankfully, family, friends, and the Lord became my new normal. I even got to actually know my sister. Get this, she's a dancer. I just thought she slept in the room next to mine. Slowly but surely, I began to see what a blessing the worst game of my life was.  

Before tearing my ACL, it was rare for my family to be all together other than my games.  We were all "together" but I would be on the field, my dad would be coaching, and my sister would be begging my mom for ice cream money. "Quality family time" gained a new and improved definition when I was forced to stop playing. I went to my sisters first dance recital and she was effortlessly talented. She was better than I could have ever imagined. It made me immediately feel guilty for never staying to watch her dance practices even though she was always forced to watch mine. This made me discover a new purpose. My new purpose was to be a sister. I had also never put in time or effort into making friends who didn’t play soccer because in my “soccer is my purpose eyes" they were a distraction. I was always focused on what made me a better soccer player rather than what made me a better friend. I knew some familiar faces at school but nothing more. Familiar faces at school became names and those names became part of my family. With my new friends I began loving harder, laughing more, and enjoying little things. I discovered a new purpose. My new purpose was to be a friend. These new friends, all with different personalities, allowed me to grow as a person and become more well rounded. My friends and I began going to church on Wednesdays and Sundays. My previous leadership skills from being captain of so many teams allowed me to obtain a leadership position inside the church as well. I began to mentor kids who genuinely looked up to me and turned to me in times of hurt. With this, I discovered a new purpose. My new purpose was to help others. Life had begun to become so much more than a ball and a goal. The year that I was supposed to be recovering and rehabbing to get back on the field took a detour and taught me more than I ever expected. There is no such thing as only having one purpose in life. My purpose in life is to have many purposes. I will not only live out my purposes but I will also continue to search for more. When you confine yourself to a limitation of one purpose you stop growing as a person.  My painful, dream-breaking injury taught me that. In the truth of it all, the day I tore my ACL was the day a self-seeking journey began. With that journey, I found my purpose.