"TedMAN Gaiden" by Tedman N.

            The year of 2012, a summer that I would never forget; reality hit me, a real rollercoaster. However, before I get to the explanation of that, let me give you background. I had visited family up north in California for the summer since I was raised there, and I thought, “As usual it will be a fun and relaxing time.” Since my parents mostly visited family, I had a lot of free time to myself and my cousin would drop me off at places I’d like to go while he did his own thing.

            Since my parents were always out traveling around to see relatives while we stayed in the north, my aunts had to take care of me. My aunts always loved to go clubbing, since they were self-claimed to be in “the prime of their lives,” even though they are in their 30s and still single (I still love them though). Pretty much everyone in my family was doing their own thing, and so I decided to go to hang out with one of the most beautiful girls I had ever laid my eyes upon. I had met her through a community service event a year back. From her marigold tone, to her golden hair, to that sparkly tint in her eyes that just always seemed to suck you right in. Her name was Annabell and on that day we were catching up with each other since I don’t see her often due to distance. However, we kept in contact through social media, texting, and etc., pretty much my best friend at this point in time.

            I know the saying of falling in love with your best friend is never a good thing but unfortunately this occurred. It was a little different from the normal convention though, the feelings were mutual and I was really excited that things were going positively for once in my life. (Man I was only 15 when I experienced this puppy love, why do I sound like a simp before simping even existed?)

            It was a really great time spending my vacation with her. One day, we watched a movie and got some food, typical teenager hangout kind of things. Full of smiles, laughter abound, and for some strange reason as time was passing by, I was feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach. (You ever get that warm fuzzy feeling when you can relate to someone so much it’s kind of weird?) Anyways it was getting very late and my cousin (one of the best wingmen ever) was going to pick me up soon. I figured I’d get things straightened out before I left (you are probably thinking, “Wow get it together man!!!” Right?).

            So as the clock ticked down towards my departure, Annabell decided to say something before I left. She asked me if I wanted to hang out again soon and I could have sworn I saw some blush on those rosy cheeks of hers. I pretty much screamed on the inside something along the lines of, “DEFINITELY! I WOULD LOVE TO!” But you know, knowing my cool persona I tried to reply with a “Sure, what time?” I never thought my idea of the cool persona in me would turn out as “Sss-ure wha-tttt t-i-m-eee, Bell (her nickname)?” I felt like a dying chimpanzee but she giggled and said “Can’t wait!” Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek, which I did not expect so my soul essentially transcended to heaven.

            So soon after my cousin took me home and that night I thought, “Man this is going to be great, I hope my summer of youth never ends, THE BURNING PASSION OF YOUTH!!!” The next few weeks would be us hanging out at least 60% of the time. Everything was going great and I was thinking of maybe asking her to make it official; until that day occurred. School was coming near and I had to go back home to Southern California, but despite the distance I had a feeling it would still work out if we were together.

            On that day the final hangout as I remember it as, is when everything struck me. I had everything planned out to ask her out and make it official. However, something was different with Bell today; she didn’t have her playful charisma going on (I thought to myself, “Oh man is something wrong?). She went up to me and straight up said, “Teddy thank you for everything, but I’m afraid we can’t hang out anymore. You see, I know this sounds wrong, but my ex has recently started talking to me again and I just can’t seem to let my feelings for him go away. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore, I know how things were between us, and I’m sorry but I can’t talk to you anymore.” There was more said but by now my heart had just dropped. I was thinking to myself, “Man this cuts deeps,” and I kind of was just shocked that we couldn’t even be friends. All because she felt indecisive, but it was clear to me that her ex was the one she truly loved. She gave me one last pity hug and a kiss on the cheek. The kiss on cheek felt like an eternal damnation in hell rather than heaven at this point. I guess you would assume at this point, “Wow that’s got to hurt!” or, “Eh it’s okay man, there’s more fish in the sea.” Whatever the assumption is, things were really never the same again after.

            My summer ended soon after this event and oh, the dreaded junior year had come. My grade point average took a dip; I wasn’t doing anyone good with the negativity I was spreading around that year. Even the activities I loved, such as tennis, were declining; my skills were getting weaker and I ended up losing a lot, destroying what little self-confidence I still had in myself. Nothing was going good for me and it was just the little things getting to me besides Annabell. Things at home weren’t going well with the relationship between my parents and I, a lot of family members were passing away, and I felt like there was no point in living anymore. Of course that was just a thought and not an action that I was going to inflict on myself.

            However throughout the midst of my junior year, I began to gradually get better through the help of my friends. Because even if I felt alone, I knew there was always someone to share a smile, and surely but slowly those smiles would encourage me to find hope again. I was able to overcome the greatest hurdle of my life and regain my optimistic and super swag persona, TedMAN, again. My experience with Annabell has taught me that in one point of your life you experience that one romance that you have with that special someone. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay because it has taught me a plethora of things.

            No matter what happens, don’t let the other people around you change who you really are (I am the TedMAN). Through the midst of these hurdles, I realize that even in the darkest situations you can find light. Also, compared to myself many others suffer similar or even worse scenarios, so having that in mind I knew what to do. After this experience and my dark depression junior year, I began to be more optimistic through spreading smiles. Because you never know when your smile could affect someone’s day in a positive way, I always spread my smile. I am now back on track with everything as I am the varsity captain of tennis and getting my GPA back to where it was originally. As for things such as love? I figured that if it happens, I should just let it happen (kind of like going with the flow). My self-confidence and trust issues (DO I SOUND LIKE DRAKE) are still recovering, but for things like love, it can wait. I’m still young and I figured, “If you can’t be happy without someone, then something’s wrong.” I am now living the best of what life has to offer and spreading smiles daily. I would like to thank you for reading this rollercoaster of an experience. Remember to smile, because no matter what anyone thinks, you’re a great person, beautiful on the outside and inside.