A couple days ago marked the one month anniversary of a special event for me. Everything that led up to this life-changing event began on July 16, 2012…
I was on the bus, secretly nervous,
as I headed up to a campsite called Camp Metoche surrounded by five fellow
Etiwanda peers and over twenty students from Orange County (ranging from
incoming freshmen to incoming seniors) on a school bus. I mean, who wouldn’t be
terrified when you’re shy like I am and you’re attending a four-night, five-day
camp called “Leadership Development Center”[1]? Who
wouldn’t be terrified, knowing that you’d be surrounded by over ninety people
you don’t know? Who wouldn’t be terrified, knowing that you’d be sleeping in
the same cabin with people you’ve never met before in your entire life? To top
it all off, I was already feeling homesick. I was most definitely not ready to
break out of my comfort zone. So, once we arrived at the campsite, I trudged on
through the week, constantly telling myself that I’d be home soon. However,
during the middle of the week, one staffer came up to me to be my partner for a
simple activity that was based off of a simple game of tag. This simple act was
indescribably heartwarming, and allowed me to enjoy the rest of camp, because
what he did truly demonstrated that everyone attending the camp, especially the
staffers, are there for each other. However, not only did the staffer’s simple
act allow me to enjoy the rest of camp, but it also inspired me to strive for
something later on in the year.
February 2013 rolled around, and the
applications to apply for a staffer position for LDC (Leadership Development Center)
2013 came out. I immediately knew that I wanted to apply, hoping to be given
the opportunity to staff and be a heartwarming staffer like the one I had
encountered. (I must admit, however, that I did require a bit of convincing by
my friend to attend the interviews because I was scared to talk.) After sending
in my application and having an interview, weeks passed as I nervously checked
my e-mail and mail every day, waiting for the results. One day, an e-mail was
sent to me, in regards to the results. I can still remember how hard my hand
was shaking as I tried to move my mouse in order to open the e-mail. It was
shaking to a point where it looked more as if it was vibrating, like the way a
phone vibrates. I opened the e-mail. My heart dropped. I reread the e-mail over
and over again. My eyes and mouth were opened in complete shock. I had been
amongst the eighteen people selected to staff. Joy and I excitedly messaged
each other to find out that we had both been accepted. To this day, I still
find it unbelievable that I had been selected out of the 60+ people that had
applied.
Training days began on April 6, 2013.
From that day onwards, it was expected for me and Joy to drive to the Orange
County Red Cross chapter often in order to be trained, and in order to prepare
for camp. However, this time period was a crucial time for me; AP tests were
right around the corner. I studied hard, day after day, hoping to make myself
proud, along with my teachers and parents. But things didn’t go as planned.
Summer break had started, and my main focus from that point on was to focus on
being the best staffer I could possibly be. But, when camp was approximately
three weeks away, the results came out for my AP tests. My heart sank once
again, but not in a good way. I couldn’t help but break down. I felt like a
huge disappointment. I had no more motivation. It eventually reached a point
where I didn’t see a point in working hard anymore. Ever since I moved here
from Korea, all I wanted to do was make my parents proud, and show them that
the sacrifice they made to move here was well worth it… but I couldn’t even do
that much. All the pressure of needing to be the best in school that I put on
myself ever since I was little finally reached a point where I couldn’t handle
it anymore. Luckily, preparing for camp with the other amazing staffers took my
mind off of things.
LDC 2013 was finally happening.
Despite the fact that I still carried a heavy guilt of not doing well on the AP
tests, I tried my best to be the staffer I had wanted to become ever since the
heartwarming encounter during my delegate year. I embraced every second I was
spending at camp, but the end of camp came far too quickly. By the end of the
camp, reality began hitting hard again, and I was once again reminded of my AP
scores, and started to have negative feelings towards myself. “I couldn’t even
do well on the AP tests. How am I going to survive the rest of my life, when I’m
clearly incapable of doing well on a test? Why do I feel like I’m doing
absolutely nothing right? Do I even matter?” As I was thinking these thoughts,
delegates came up to me to tell me that I, out of all the staffers, have made
an impact on their life. As I heard these words from multiple delegates, my
negativity began to disappear. They made me feel like I mattered, and that my
existence was significant. They made me realize that even though school was
important, it’s not the most important thing in the world that should be
getting me down like the way I was. I learned from them, that despite how
insignificant you might feel like you are, that there’s at least one person out
in the world that you have made an impact on, and that’s what I now believe
matters the most. Everyone should know that no matter how they may be feeling
that they’re important, and shouldn’t think otherwise. We should all keep our
chins up, because our potentials are limitless.
July 26, 2013 marked the last day of
LDC 2013, and will always hold a special meaning for me. Without this camp, I
can’t even begin to imagine where I would be right now. All these events occurred,
thanks to a simple act of kindness from the kind staffer from my delegate year
in 2012. In addition, all of my burdens were lifted when a fellow staffer told
me how proud he was of me on that day camp was over. That particular staffer
happened to be the staffer… who greeted me with nothing but kindness, and
allowed me to enjoy camp my delegate year.
[1]
LDC is a Leadership Development Center that allows delegates (incoming freshmen
to incoming seniors) to grow and develop as both a leader and as a person, make
everlasting friendships, and have fun, with the help of selected staffers
(youth leaders who have previously attended LDC as a delegate).
39 comments:
LDC must really mean a lot to you Jen! I can totally relate because I had Tae kwon do camp and they are very much like my second family. I can tell that your experience from LDC has shaped you into an even better and more confident person. You are totally a great friend and I know you will never give up in anything you do.
After reading your personal reflection, I feel so inspired! I feel like I should just attend something and see how it goes because maybe I will have a life changing experience like you! I like how you described your experience in such a detailed way that I can visualize what is being said in my head. One example of that is when you described how you opened the email and your hands were shaking so much. I also like how you separated your paragraphs so it is easier to read and each paragraph is focused on one specific topic. It was really organized and easy to understand. I also like the message at the end where you said that everyone is important. I totally agree with you!
I'm glad you chose to share that great story of yours because it was very insightful. You described your emotions precisely and vividly which helped truly understand how significant that experience is to you.
I really appreciate Ji Eun's openness. I feel that many including myself have felt that they not only have let people down, but also themselves. The feeling of not being worthy can manifest into apathy and a lack of appetite for life. Nonetheless, her story is touching and inspiring. Vulnerability reminds us how similar we, as people, truly are. Her entire reflection is fluid, relatable, and demonstrates that a just a small, simple, and sincere action can make a difference.
I love it! Especially the title. I love the way it is written to show how u were feeling and how it shows that a simple act of kindness goes a long way.
Wow this was a very inspirational piece. I'm glad you found something to help you get through the low point in your life. Well-written!
I LOVED this writing, I loved every sentence about it. The way you wrote it made it so personal, and it was like I was listening to you actually physically talking to me. This piece reflects yourself so much and it gives off the vibe of being positive no matter what. I can definitely relate to you and feeling the academic pressure that you felt especially when your parents made such a huge sacrifice for you, and your realization that you can't always be feeling down was a beautiful part in the story. My favorite line was "despite how insignificant you might feel like you are, that there’s at least one person out in the world that you have made an impact on, " that line literally touched my heart, because it's so true! Your structure and build up towards what your main point was very well written, it gave enough background and such a personal touch that I felt the emotions you felt when you opened your email, or found out about your AP tests. I hope you pass the AP tests this year, especially with your determination to keep on going with your goals no matter what.
p.s LDC sounds really fun and I wish I could've joined. :)
Ji Eun "Jennifer" Shin, how I adore you so incredibly much.
I cannot believe you shared such this, you're such a strong individual.
May I be the one to say, "Guts, 'qurl.' What are they? You obviously don't have them," this time?
This piece was greatly constructed, I could definitely hear your voice whilst reading it as if we were back at camp, sitting around in a circle during Recognizing The Blues. As hard as it was to hear your story then, I felt some reoccurring feelings reading this now.
As someone from the audience, I felt a welcoming tone as you introduced the heartwarming staffer, "However, not only did the staffer’s simple act allow me to enjoy the rest of camp, but it also inspired me to strive for something later on in the year."
That concluding sentence of the first paragraph of this piece opened up the doors that gave the audience insight that they are welcome to read on with what the speaker has to tell them.
This piece is inspirational, it allows the audience to know that they are "Limitless," and that they should never question what they are capable of doing. LDC 2013 Limitless Represent!
You made it very clear to the audience on how significant and inspirational the LDC experience was for you.
Know that I, as a fellow staffer of LDC 2013, as a fellow delegate of LDC 2012, and as a friend, am so proud of how much you have grown these past couple of years.
P.S.
"(I must admit, however, that I did require a bit of convincing by my friend to attend the interviews because I was scared to talk.)"
YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO INTERVIEW THAT DAY.
Good thing I convinced you, eh?
... More like dragged you into it with no return.
Jennifer.. This was so cute! I loved how you started off your reflection, it made your story seem so dramatic. I transitioned very well from paragraph to paragraph, but most importantly you inspired me! You allowed yourself to take that challenge of going to that interview, when you were nervous and I am so glad Joy pushed you!
Jennifer, I loved your story! I loved how open you were with this piece,creating a connection with the reader; it was like you were just talking to the reader, expressing great use of colloquial language. I also liked your use of rhetorical questions which again does back to how it was like you were talking to the reader. Then the ending was really well written because you connected your experience to real life, providing a greater moral for your readers to be inspired by . It was also a really nice way to begin and end the story with "limitless", creating a greater impact to the meaning of limitless, why it is limitless, and it's significance. You are an inspiration to us all !
This is amazing, I like how you never gave up and still tried to do your best.
Oh my gosh girl, your reflection definitely tugged at my heart. I can relate to the pressures of school and how discouraging it can be when we don't perform as well as we hope to. But don't ever let that cause you to question your worth. You were created by a loving God who cares for you and promises to never leave you. Life can be difficult at times, but He remains beside you even through the most troublesome of days and you are always precious in His eyes; don't ever forget how much you mean to Him. You're a great friend and I am so thankful to have met you. You truly are amazing and I can see why the camp attendees admired you so much.
-Christina Tapia
Wow, this was just awesome because I can relate to this and now reading your story I feel that I shouldn't really think too much about the bad things that have happened but I should actually think about the future, and think that good things also come with bad things. I loved your story it was really inspirational.
Wow Jennifer, thinking back to AP test time last year, I remember how you were especially collected. I remember that one time when we were cramming for Chemistry Olympiad and you stayed online until 1:30 AM while most of us called it quits around 12:00 AM. I remember thinking that I admired your dedication and wished that I had your resolve. You didn't share your inner struggle and that is a testament to how strong you really are. Instead of complaining about how many hours of sleep you didn't get, you seemed so calm and relaxed. Thanks for being so open about this tough inner struggle with us and I hope that you continue being an example for the rest of us!
In my opinion, this submission was flawless. I loved everything about it! I felt like the speaker was speaking directly to me. You are an inspiration and I like that you appealed to the audience of prospective students whom took AP tests. Your title was so well incorporated with the moral of your reflection. Loved it.
-Hennessy V.
I'm so glad I read your story! I'm glad that you were able to share your story with us.
Oh my goodness, Jen/Professor Severus :3
I HATE YOU, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO CRY. Jk (about the hate part, not the crying part). I actually FaceTimed with Joy over the summer and she explained to me how difficult this camp was for the both of you.
But you pulled it off! I'm so proud of how strong you are and how hard you worked. You're just as humble and kind as the day I met you.
I enjoyed the use of rhetorical questions you used in the beginning. Personally, it helped me to envision your situation a lot better and now, as a friend, I can understand you better than I did before.
I personally wanted to cry specifically in the third paragraph. I can relate to those feelings of wanting to please your parents, being the best, etc, etc.
Trust me, I'm pretty sure if Mrs. Dodson and I had a conversation about my AP test score, I'd disappoint her as well.
But in the end, a test is just a test. There are many different levels of intelligence and a test could never measure the amount of intelligence you hold, nor does it measure the amount of kindness, warmth, modesty, and love you hold in yourself as well as what you give out. I know times will be tough, and I know things can't always be perfect, but the fact that you keep trying says so much about you that a test could never demonstrate.
However, Jennifer, hold your head up. You've achieved so many great things and I just want to support you and praise you for having this much courage to post something so dear to your heart.
Love,
Shaefer/Hermione (:
Shin!
I totally loved this piece because honestly, I think there is something in it for absolutely everyone to relate to. From your nervous moments, to when you felt overwhelmed and disappointed I felt, because of how descriptive the piece was, as if I was right there with you experiencing all of those things too and not only that, but when I finished reading not only did I feel the sudden need to look for something I could do outside of school too but I felt happy. Reading the ending of your piece and your thoughts on feeling insignificant was uplifting and made me think about the pressure I put on myself in school and feeling discouraged and it gave me a different perspective on those things. The organization in this piece and your writing in chronological order as well as letting the reader into your head made the piece much more meaningful and the way that you found a bigger meaning behind all that happened made it feel almost like an indirect call to action. Awesome job!
This is a truly inspiring piece that you have written, Jennifer. I do not know a single person on this planet who can not relate to the story you have written. As AP students, we naturally have that strive to complete a task at its full potential and not being able to do so results in the world ending; this is normal. I did poorly on my AP test last year and I too questioned what went wrong and even what was wrong with myself! It is also amazing how easily kind words from friends, family, and complete strangers can alter how we view ourselves as individuals. Society always says "I do not care what others think of me." but at the end of the day, there is a part of us that really does.
Jennifer, your detailed description of your initial view on LDC to your transformation to truly enjoying your experiences there was inspiring and made me re-think some of my prior judgements on stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things. Great job connecting with the reader throughout the reflection. This was an amazing recount of your experiences and provided points for the reader to reflect upon and learn from.
Oh, Jennifer, you know you are truly a special person. I've never seen you as someone who was very insecure with themselves. I've always believed that you have great things waiting for you. That being said, I can tell that your writing is from the heart. I understood your emotions very well, and all the thoughts running through your head were well-conveyed. I think everyone we know can relate to the desire to make our parents proud. As a reflection, this piece almost works like a fictional story. You can see a clear journey, from beginning to end, and that fits in with your whole message: the journey may be hard, but we must keep our chins up. The entire piece builds to a climax and your final message. I feel as though you interacted with the reader through your use of rhetorical questions, and really managed to connect with them.
Remember, keep moving forward, and you will always matter.
JENNIFER I LOVED THIS!!!!!! The perseverance is strong in you ! Your story is completely relatable and shows your 'character development' for lack of a better term, because in it, it shows how you gradually grow and mature from being sort of scared and shy of the new experience, to eventually making a complete 180. You became a leader and that's completely evident in you right now. And you learned a valuable lesson and passed it on to us so that really is just awesome and I have to thank you for that.
I really enjoyed this story because i think it hit off on several feelings many of us share when put in this position. Surrounded by people we don't know in unfamiliar environments can be very scary, but you embraced the situation and it ended in positive results and memories you will always have. I think the lesson all of us can take from this is to always embrace what comes and the results will be life changing, thank you for writing this.
- Percy Starks
JENNY! :) I loved reading about such an influential time in your life..and the fact that you opened up to us so much about everything that was going on through your mind! But trust me, you are so amazingly talented and smart and genuine and AP tests don't matter a thing to the impact that you have had on the lives of anyone who has ever came across you! I loved how you connected back to the title in the passage and even more so I love that the title represents you- absolutely limitless! :)
Jennifer, I thought this reflection on your camp was amazing! I love how you went into great detail about how you got inspired to not always look on the down side and just keep going. I also love the way you started the piece. It definitely got me to keep reading. Every sentence was just really inspirational.Great job!
To be honest, I 'half and half' saw you as a shy person as well as someone who's really outgoing, but maybe it's because we've known each other since elementary school, and we're not on that level of awkwardness. I must admit, however, that it takes immense courage from someone "shy" to open up and become vulnerable and share your story to many many people you may or may not know, especially because it's personal. First and foremost, I know that even though we don't exactly share the same religious viewpoints, I do want to inform you that you are one of the sweetest and most genuine person that I was blessed to come across in my life and like Christina mentioned, you are constantly being taken care of and being watched over by God who emits a HUGE and unconditional love. I also want you to know that even though you may have not done so well on your AP exams, that does not define who you are and that does not define what you will do in your life and that does not define what you commit yourself to. I'm very blessed to have seen you mature in a lot of aspects, and it is extremely safe to say that you are going places Jennifer. I just want you to let ALL of that marinate in your precious brain and heart.
I know I keep saying that I'm blessed, but I do want to say that i'm blessed that you shared your story with us. You provided me and every other reader with such a beautiful moral and leaving an inspiration effect on us. I can tell that every time you find yourself in a dilemma, you'll always refer back to LDC. Again, even though I've known you for quite a while, which changes my perspective on how shy you are, I thought it was very clever of you to incorporate anaphora through the repetition of "who wouldn't be terrified" to put emphasis on how terrified you were because of your shy quality. I also like how you wrote a story that majority, if not all, of your audience could relate.
I love you.
Wow, this piece was so moving. I LOVE that its so personal and that you were able to express and write about an impactful part of your life to share with all of us. It really touched me because it's so relatbale, expecially the part about where you found out how you did on your AP tests. Your personal reflection made me wish i had too signed up for LDC. On top of everything, this piece was extreemly well written. You're amazing Jennifer!
I liked how you started off with a good reflection and those transitions were amazing. This had a good feel to it and especially it was kind of personal. Im sure everyone would enjoy this. The title just makes you want to read this. Good job, amazing!
Your piece was not only very well written, it was very inspiring as well. What you are saying is very true. We fail once and it seems like the end of the world, but these mistakes that we make that seem like the end of the world the moment we make them, in all honesty, are minuscule mistakes that don't have an eternal effect on our lives. The more important events are those in our lives that we are able to create happiness in our lives or impact those around us.
Everyone can relate to this piece. Who hasnt had a time in their lives where they felt insecure or overwhelmed? I know I have. The eloquent descriptions along with the personal details open up how vulnerable you felt, but still managed to push on through. Great reflection.
I absolutely adore you now Jen! I admire how you portrayed your story in a tone that kept me hopeful all throughout the read. The story is very inspirational and I am so glad that you chose to share it with us. Your graduation from your shy character really emphasizes how you have developed as a person from such a moving event. I'm happy or you and I wish that you excel further in your future endeavors!
that was really inspiring and personal, kindness can really go a long way!
it touched me deeply -jakob cadena
Jennifer, your written piece is beautiful. I admire you for being so transparent throughout your personal reflection. I can relate to you, just based off of this piece, on so many levels. From the disappointment and negativity you felt to the joy and pride you felt, I have also experienced those same feelings. I can totally relate to your self doubt because I have asked myself those same questions. For example, "Why am I here on this Earth? Why do I exist?" Through your amazing experiences at LDC, you discovered the answer to your question. And I absolutely agree with you. :) We are here to make a difference, to make an impact, on other people's lives. Thank you for teaching us all an important message: our purpose here on Earth is to touch people in a special way, not to just succeed in school and in life.
You did a great job of making this relatable to all students who strive to do their best in school. I am glad you were able to share this personal reflection, as it provides inspiration to many of us, including myself. Also you handled your transitions from while jumping through time frames very well and your writing skills are great.
:D I can't help but smile after reading your piece! Jenny, you and I and all of your peers know just how great of a person you are, you do NOT need a standardized test to tell you your worth! You're so accomplished that the thought of you being a disappointment should never cross your mind, even for a second! I'm really glad you took the initiative to apply for the staffer position, it seems to have benefited you greatly. I think your parents can vouch for me when I say your parents move here from Korea was well worth it because of all of your accomplishments, academic and social! Keep up the great work Jenny! (:
-Melissa Nollora
Great reflection. I feel like I now have an insight into your life and like I know you. Breaking out of your shell can be hard, but over my high school career, I have learned how to break out and meet new people. I sincerely appreciate your honesty and you sharing.
Really good reflection! It was very personal and inspiring on how such an event made an impact in your aspirations and view of life. I like how with just a little push of one person, you were enabled to join such an organization that proved to be a great opportunity in your life.
This is so inspiring. Everyone has been through a hard time and this shows people that you shouldn't give up and just try your best even if you want to give up. I'm happy that you fought through that shyness and took on a staffer position.
- Valarie Ly
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