(Mitochondria are what human life depends on. Every day we
get older and we get closer to dying all due to one innocent abundant resource,
Oxygen. We live off of oxygen but we also die off oxygen. The reaction between
mitochondria and oxygen causes humans to grow old. For instance, oxygen rusts
metal, causing it to tarnish and eventually break down to nothing but fragments
and dust. 95% of the oxygen humans breathe in goes to mitochondria, and the
remaining 5% roam around affecting DNA causing cancer, Enzymes which end up
damaging our DNA strands, and finally our membranes. )
It’s
the late 2900’s, humans have lost the feeling of being materialistic, our
government is now run by the people completely, and population in the U.S has
risen to astonishing numbers. Nowadays, it’s unusual to see anyone walking
around without a mask pressed to their faces. Everyone now looks generic, and
fewer people die. Oxygen is less of a problem in this day and age, life seems
to be less corrupt, crime rates are down and the people just stopped caring.
When children are born, they grow to a certain age; once they are pleased with
their personal appearance they undergo a normal and typical procedure. A simple
implant of a mask allows human to breathe Nitrogen safely without the side
effects of aging. The life expectancy for a human is unknown, for nobody has
really died. There is no average anymore, people die when they want, and it
becomes a life choice. A simple removal of the mask yields one to twelve months
left of living depending on how long you actually have lived, In other words
people ultimately control their lives.
The
fact of living forever sounds wonderful, but deep down without the thought of
time life becomes pointless. At this point people become less diverse than your
average manikin in a department store. The creative process is completely gone
and people roam around like zombies, going to work day after day not knowing any
better because they have completely forgot what it feels like to live. Art is
gone, literature is forgotten, and music doesn’t exist. In the 2900’s all
humans have become that of like a robot, they have absolutely no feelings, no
motives, and no concern about time. Without time, and a ticking clock telling
us to hurry and experience new things before the dreadful thought of
everlasting sleep everything loses meaning. To humans time is the greatest
commodity. Crime rate is so low because people don’t feel the need to break
away from society, government is run completely by the people but frankly there
are no more people left meaning the government also does not exist, and finally
the astonishing numbers of humans are not humans anymore. The simple fact of cheating
death to live more caused an entire nation to lose the feeling of even living.
47 comments:
This topic is a huge topic in today's society and always has been. Human beings have always wanted to live longer and have wanted to cheat their way out of death through ease. I like how you gave your blog a very sci-fi and futuristic tone which creates diversity to this month's blogs. My favorite part in your story is when you related the humans in 2900 to manikins in store departments; they are so pale with perfect bodies and no drastic features and like a Barbie doll, I am always jealous of their fashionable clothing and want to wear the same thing as they do.
Josh, this piece is so fascinating! I love the descriptive way you depict how life would be if most people's ultimate dream, being forever young, was fulfilled. Overall, great job Josh, this was just a simply cool and mysterious look into one possibilities for a future we may never see.
Wow. Your writing really got me considering the idea of what a world without aging would be like. This is one of those stories that is going to leave me thinking all night, but I that's a good thing.
I also like how you incorporated an explanation in the beginning so that the reader could get a better idea of how the masks would work; it helps make the idea seem tangible.
Whoa! This piece just totally reminded me of a lesson I particularly learned in anatomy. This piece got me thinking about the possibility of never aging. It actually got me thinking about the pros and cons of it. Anyways, this piece was very detailed and clear to understand. I love how the topic of this piece may be a possibility in the future if scientists try hard at it. I love the way you inserted some sort of mystery and it did interest me all the way. Good Job!
I found this piece to be very thought-provoking. With technological advances being made daily, I can easily envision a situation like the one you described becoming reality. I especially like the way you emphasized the importance of time in relation to individual aspiration and motivation. You provided an interesting point - in the absence of limited time, all the pressure of reaching goals disappears. By choosing to end the essay on a rather melancholy note, you truly emphasized the negative side effects of living a life controlled entirely by ourselves. Nice job!
-Christina Tapia
My inner biologist died a little bit. This is so intriguing! Oh my goodness, I just love it. You appealed to scientific interests as well as emotional vulnerabilities with such a fascinating and delicate topic. Great job!
WOW. This was amazing. It really got my mind thinking about how people have progressed and with the continuation of that what the future could possibly be like. This was amazing and your attention to detail for each reason and fact is what got me to think more and more about the future and how things will be when there is an overall absence of determination the "live" and the definition of life in the far future.
Good Job!
Wow, Josh, this piece piece really got me thinking about what the purpose of life is... At first, I thought that everyone in life would have a final goal they want to reach before death since life is limited. This means that life is truly a race between an individual and time, and each individual must work their hardest each day to get closer to reaching their goal. However, if life is eternal, would people still have the incentive to set goals and try to achieve them, or would they just procrastinate since time is no longer a factor in life? Very interesting read, great job!
-Ben Chang
I thought your correlation between time and motivation was quite interesting. Society constantly reminds us about the lack of time we have and the wise have told us to make use of its scarcity. But I don't find it nearly as common to contemplate the effects of an infinite amount of time. Such a twist in the future, only emphasizes our current reality. Nicely written!
You brought forth a very interesting concept in this piece; I will definitely still be pondering this concept in my head even after I am done commenting. Your disclaimer/first paragraph was very interesting to me because I have never been exposed to the fact that oxygen takes such a toll on us. Your imaginative story made it easy for me envision your words as a movie in my head, goes to show how effective your vivid and detailed imagery was. Your use of third person (omniscient) point of view really helped to develop the ominous and unenthusiastic aura you portrayed these not-so-privileged people to live in.
Danieh Abu Alrub
I really liked how serious the tone of this story was because it made it much more thought provoking and gave it the ability to have a long-lasting impact on readers. I think it's great to write about how the ability to live forever and choose when to die would take away the love of life we all share and the value seen in each day we live through, especially in a time when technology is becoming more and more advanced very quickly. I didn't expect this type of story when I read the title but I was pleasantly surprised. Great use of descriptive language to clarify and show how bleak life would be if this was our reality. I also really liked how you turned a positive, like low crime rates, into a negative in order to keep to the tone and convey the message in your story, it was a great perspective on having the ability to live forever! Great Job!
Such an informative and astonishing piece. I loved the topic you chose. Not only is the setting based off of the 2900s, it describes a time without aging. You brought up a very interesting point; life without time is pointless. I agree with you that people would forget how to enjoy life if they could live forever. The opening paragraph was perfect. All the facts about the mitochondria and oxygen I did not even know. Are they even true? LOL. Anyways, this is the most bizarre and out of this world topic by far. Bringing up zombies was a nice touch! Good job Josh!
-Mackenzie Hopkins
Very interesting story, i liked how you use the first tho paragraphs to lure the reader into the third paragraph explaining the downfalls of this system, i thoroughly enjoyed it.
- Arturo Ayala
The entire piece had such force within it that it would have been completely impossible for me to stop reading. I was so sad to see it end so quickly and wish that there was more! All of the information that was presented in the first paragraph really set up the magic of the rest of the work. I love that the piece kind of leaves us on a cliff hanger and lets the imagination take it from there. Absolutely amazing!
-Rachael Rubalcava
the opening paragraph was very strong and couldnt have been better. The rest of it tied in nicely.
I remember watching the video that inspired this story in Anatomy class with an eerie horror. How cruelly ironic is it that very substance that provides us life slowly destroys us? Your story managed to convey the unsettlingly truth of a dystopian worthy of George Orwell. Clever and thought provoking, "Cheating Death" stayed in my mind long after I exited the browser. Excellent job! -Emily Wilt Per. 1
I liked that you used an informative tone and the facts in the beginning helped persuade me that immortality isn't what it seems.
Sabrina Rondero Per. 5
This was a great piece Josh, the way you show that death is something that cannot be passed and that one must die at some point in their life and without death there is no point of life. I wanted to just keep reading but it ended which made me sad. Great job though.
This was really thought provoking. While reading, I tried to imagine myself as a human with a mask an no emotion or feeling. I'm not quite sure if the oxygen mask was an extended metaphor for assimilation in society but if so it worked well. You did a good job at desribing the internal emotions or lack thereof of humans in 2900.
-Kyra Young
Interesting. Could have been organized differently to help your point, like starting with the idea that this is the 2900's, instead of starting with the idea that oxygen kills. A strong theme that your story was perfect for, and kept me interested until the end.
I feel like this story addressed a topic that is big in today's society, the question of what would happen if we can extend human life exponentially? This question has always been asked but now people could possibly have the ability to make it a reality. I feel your story hit at a key fear that is not just a fear but could also become reality.
-Percy Starks
I use to wish to live forever young, but you brought up such an incredible point; their needs to be time in one's life. People enjoy everyday because they never know what could happen tomorrow, and living forever would change that. I love the topic and the setting being 2900!
-Taylor Robles
This is really great writing. I could see a long, good story of this concept. Keep up the good work!
I felt like I learned something when I read your piece. It also reminded me of a story I read in Spanish. You did a good job using your little facts at the beginning to basically set up your story. Good Job.
-Lauren WIlliams
You did a good job. Your use of tidbits in the beginning really played a role in making this story. Your idea is one that has been looked at before, but it is a really controversial issue. You did an excellent job of conveying your point. Good job.
-Lauren Williams
This is a very interesting twist you put on the idea of everyone eventually becoming robots, following blindly behind government. I liked the way you put in a "scientific" reason for the transformation from opinionated human beings to robotic humans without a purpose.
Wow this gave me chills to think about the fact that this is a sad reality that may happen in the future. This seemed parallel to me with what we're learning with Frankenstein and "playing God". Even now, people are STILL trying to find that elixir of life to live forever, and sometimes its interesting to stop and think about what the consequences of that will be. I loved your last sentence, it was a really great way to end the piece; "the feeling of even living" seems so horrid and what not, but we also need to realize that even know we get so caught up in things that we forget to feel how to live.
I really liked how you started with science facts in the beginning and moved on to science fiction with a philosophical type question as the bases for you story. This was a very intriguing topic. It brought to light what many people forget could be the repercussions of living forever.Great job on the story.
- Oscar Salazar
The elements of the story are incredible. You addressed a very controversial idea of "living forever" and your perspective of it is brilliant. You chose to explore a very intricate time period where you perceived everything to have changed within less than 900 years. The piece employs multiple romantic elements of the supernatural and the idea of every man treated as an equal. I thoroughly enjoyed your connection to a particular biological study to the nature of man. Overall, it was a lovely work and extremely intriguing!
DEEP. Living forever sounds amazing. However, it is like you stated, there are no time restraints, so there is no real motivation. This made me really think about mortality, and appreciate it a little more.
The thought of losing the essence of life is a scary one. Becoming a lifeless zombie manikin is disturbing
-Ryan
Your story is very dystopian like. I really enjoyed how you are able to make me think about death differently and see it under a new light. Overall, your piece was thought-provoking and well-written.
Wow Josh you did a great job at portraying a robotic dystopian society! I like how you started the piece by educating us about mitochondria. Everything from start to finish was interesting, I enjoyed it a lot :)
I liked how you started by stating scientific facts at the beginning to let us know how those things work and adapted it into your story.
-Chelsea Gonzales
Wow this piece sort of scares me. I am impressed by how you developed your story by providing a background and factual information of how oxygen is what keeps us alive, yet kills us slowly in the long run. This sci-fi world can be a foreshadow to the future, especially after the scientific background you provided, making this fiction a possible reality. As I read this piece, I thought about how mankind would one day reach a point where aging can be prevented. With all the technological breakthroughs that increase life expectancy of the average human being, this can become reality. The fact that you presented a possibility in which "cheating death" would in fact turn people into faceless undeads makes me rethink my stance on the prolonging of life.
This sounds like an opening to a science fiction novel, or even the "lightbulb" that could lead to a creation of a movie or something. You've created this alternate realm and lifestyle. And even though it's basically a description of mankind hundreds of years from now, it's not really mankind at all. This was really interesting to read and the idea of it all just blew my mind. A book about this would be really cool.
The dystopian scene has been getting a lot of attention in recent literarure and media but the way you visited the concept introduced very human struggle in. We are always looking for a way to escape death but perhaps we dont realize we want it. very nice indeed.
- Justin Myers
I totally agree with you, your story defines how life would become if everything is perfect with low crime rates. Your tone to this story wasn't informative but descriptive of the lifelessness of the "Perfect World" as I would imagine this story to be. There were no signs of liveliness of this story and the addition of the dull-ish tone. I am simply implying that it would be much better to live life to the fullest rather than live a long dulled and unhealthy lifestyle. Pretty nice story of the future, you can make a movie out of this as the setting.
WOW! you are a amazing writer! you should write a book. I'd buy it. keep up the good work. (:
so the twist of this was good/jakob cadena
I like how your story brings up the idea of how death motivates people to live a fulfilling life, since life itself is short. You also expressed how life can be lackluster due to conformity very nicely with the use of the gas mask, and how it would influence mankind into acting like robots.
This piece definitely got me to think about the future, and the truth of how the future will possibly turn out to be.
Out of this entire piece, "Art is gone, literature is forgotten, and music doesn’t exist" got to me.
The reason why so many works of art, literature, and music are greatly appreciated is because time passes. Deaths occur. People are remembered.
If the concept of "cheating death" comes true, then the necessity for existence descends as the length of survival ascends.
This is a thought provoking piece, and I quite enjoyed it.
Definitely brings the topic of valuing time into play without wanting to live for eternity.
Here I am, pondering about life and the massive possibilities withheld in the future. Your piece was immensely interesting and informative; the intro about mitochondria and its purpose was a great transition to your point about "cheating death." Love it!
This is a nice piece. The very first paragraph with the biological jargon added in to the beginning gives a nice backdrop for your story to be structured. I especially like when it says, "Without time, and a ticking clock telling us to hurry and experience new things before the dreadful thought of everlasting sleep everything loses meaning. To humans time is the greatest commodity." This is true. What did people in the caverns of time of thousands of years ago do to schedule themselves? They depended on the rotations of the sun and moon. Humans need structure. We have to have schedules and boundaries and rules and regulations set out for us or else everything will go to naught. We are horrible problem solvers. Like it is stated, "The simple fact of cheating death to live more caused an entire nation to lose the feeling of even living." We don't solve and work through our problems anymore in these times. Our habits are to cheat and try to find the shortcut to our desires and aspirations.
That was very fascinating . I love how you used time as the future to indicate whats going on now to/and how we can or may end up later on in Earth. Very creative
Amazing, I love how you had factual information!
Tommy McDonnell
Nice
great story
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