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Friday, September 6, 2013

"A Goat Story" by Felisa M.

A mysterious goat holds two keys in a forest. They are both hidden and if you want them you must go through obstacles. These two keys open a box that you must also find. As a story begins, a very serious and boring man was on his way to work when his car stopped near the forest. He saw a cabin nearby so he went and knocked, there was a breach at the door so he opened it. He heard a noise so he turned around looking at a goat. He became circumspect of where the goat came from. Suddenly, he fell somewhere in earth sitting next to a can of soup. He was cumbersome after the fall and hurt his leg. The goat began to speak; he didn’t understand what was going on as the goat began to explain. The goat admonished him that he was to find the two keys before dawn or he’d suffer consequences. He tries to speak as everything gets black…
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            Getting up from the ground, he realizes the goat is gone. As he finds his way out, he wonders into the forest with a bad headache. He finds a paper on the ground as he reads, “Now that you know you can’t leave, find the two keys and you’ll receive.” He continues to wander when he notices in front of him was a tree that doesn’t look real. Stepping forward he knocks on the bark of the tree and it makes a hollow sound. Randomly, the tree opens with a secret door he didn’t notice. While walking down the door shuts and he finds another note, “seems like you found your first entrance, ones blue but what about the shoe.” After reading the note, he feels water by his feet and drops the paper by accident. Tricky goat he thought to himself. He continues to walk up the stream and think what the note meant; he didn’t understand what a shoe had to do with anything. He hears a noise and notices three objects that have fallen behind him. The three objects found on the ground were a towel, a spoon, and a sock. He realizes that the sock has a relation to a shoe so he puts it in his pocket believing he will need it. Everything around him lights on fire so he quickly tries to grab the towel and the spoon but unfortunately the towel burns so he grabs the spoon. He looks back and believes he hears a dog barking but he continues to run. Tripping over a wire he finds a squirrel holding a key.  When he reaches after grabbing the key, he sees the squirrel running and many squirrels begin to run towards him. He hides behind a cave and finds another key! This one blue, it was stuck in between four heavy rocks. He manages to get the key and walks into the cave hearing the squirrels run by. To find another note at his feet he reads to see that it says, “well, two keys already?! In front of you there is a chest in a cage figure it out.” His arms could not fit through the cage so he ties the thin black sock to the spoon and blue key. He gets it in and the blue lock unlocks. He does the same thing to the other key but when he puts it in the lock the key breaks into two. He thought it was over, he should have known things went by quick. Standing before him was the goat holding a red key in its mouth, he runs as the goat does as well. When he touches the key he hears a dog barking once more. He opens his eyes waking up and looks out the window to see his does chasing a goat with a red key in its mouth.

48 comments:

Aaron Ramirez said...

I understood the story until the end. So, the whole time, he was in a dream?

Aaliyah S said...

I wish it wasn't a dream because the story was really good and I wanted it to keep on going.

Kobe N. said...

I enjoyed this stroy alot. I was suprised at the end when it was a dream.

Harjot Gill said...

I really enjoyed it but at the end it got me. I never thought it would end up as a dream just by judging from the title. Very good work. Has a good catch.

Kayden Ruiz said...

I liked the story thought it was just a kid with a crazy imagination but it was his dream.

Rachael said...

The ending totally threw me! I liked it all it was so different and that really gave it an edge that was very enjoyable, I love the craziness that's in the story and it all escalates so quickly it was plain fun to read great job!
- Rachael R.

Patricia O. said...

I was literally laughing out loud when the character falls in the earth and ends up sitting next to a can of soup! I love the light-hearted tone; it complements the ending.

Unknown said...

this is a amazing story i was shocked it was a dream another i liked about your story is it felt soo....... real

Ravenn said...

This was really creative! I always have a hard time personifying animals so it was cute watching how your main character interacted with them throughout.

Unknown said...

WHOA! plot twist ending ! I loved how crazy and random it was! It was easy to read (nice use of colloquial language), and kept me hooked! You also had a good use of imagery which I think was because of your impressive use of details. I also liked how you chose a goat versus any other animal, it made the story more intereting since goats aren't really the most popular of all other animals. And in the title "A Goat Story" when you glance over it really quickly, looks like "A Great Story" which is a really good fit!

Tamsin T. said...

This story totally reminded me of Alice In Wonderland! It was very fun and made me laugh. Good thing this "boring" man had some fun put into his life. I thought it was cute how his dream life reflected what was happening in his real life with his dogs. I feel like that happens a lot; where you find yourself dreaming of things happening around you.

Sabriah Johnwell said...

Wow! I really love your story! keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I loved the perpetual twists and turns of the story's plot. Just when I thought I had an idea of what would happen next, something completely unexpected occurred. The admirable imaginative quality of the work reminds me of a fanciful old wives' tale. I can't believe you are only a freshman; your writing skills are certainly impressive!

-Christina Tapia

McKenzie Gamble said...

Wow! I really loved your story! I like your use of imagery, I could see everything that was going on in my head! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

All a dream? That was really unexpected. I liked the beginning, the base of the story.


-Quade Ferguson

Unknown said...

The imagery in this was really nice, I could feel as if I was the man trying to find those keys to get out of this place. It would have been awesome if it wasn't a dream and the story kept going on but overall I really liked the story.

Anonymous said...

The story had a great story and creative! Good job!

Anonymous said...

That story made me want to read more and had a creative details! Good Job! - Anthony Navarrete

Anonymous said...

the fantasy was great! you gots an imagination i can appreciate. and all those tricks the goat pulls are wonderful and take a tricky person to think up. i like it. very good dialogue as well ;)

- Justin M.

Hennnessy Verduzco said...

I enjoyed the detail and imagery of the dream itself. It seemed like the moral of the story was for the "very serious and boring man" to expand his mind.

Anonymous said...

Great story i love the twist in the end. My favorite part was when the goat was talking

Ashleigh Perez

Unknown said...

I like the story especially the ending. Great Job!!

Laura Sandoval said...

When I read the title to this piece on the side I definitely did not expect this. The amount of creativity in this piece and the imagery in it made it really entertaining and the plot twist at the end was definitely unexpected but looking back it makes sense because he hears a dog bark in the beginning. The story definitely kept me on my feet and I wish his adventure for the keys was just a little bit longer because I can't even imagine what else he could run into. Great use of imagery and tone, it seems like it is a magical and mysterious story in the beginning and then things start to happen and its actually a funny and light story.

Alejandra Robles said...

I liked your story, I liked how in the end it was all a dream.

Guilrey Gonzalez said...

Good job. I like how it was like dream.

Ethan Trieu said...

wow what a great story, i got shocked when all of that was a dream, great twist at the end of the story keep up the great work.

Unknown said...

I love your collision of humor and creativity! At first I was very confused... but then I realized it was a dream and it made me laugh because I realized that's how all dreams are - they make sense in the moment but when you look back at it, you're baffled by what your mind came up with. Good job!

Eva Chen said...

This story was so funny and random! The details were the most hilarious part; at the same time, the imagery was so great because I felt like I was there with the man trying to figure out where to go and what to do... I should have known earlier that this was a dream! What's really ironic is that even though he wakes up from his dream, its not often that you find a goat in real life for your dog to chase after too so I loved that touch! :)

Unknown said...

You're only a Freshman?! Your'e writing skills are advanced and incredible! I loved the whole story from beginning to end. The fact that you wrote a story about a goat is so interesting and different. I liked how each sentence was really choppy and sharp; it created an edge to your story. The ending was completely unexpected! A couple comments above said your story reminded them of Alice in Wonderland. That is the vibe I got as well! It felt like a real, but imaginary world if that makes sense. Then reality struck and it was all dream. Great job!

-Mackenzie Hopkins

Danieh Abu Alrub said...

I love how random this is, this really demonstrates you're out of the box imagination and creativity. Super creative, cute, and definitely original. If I saw you in person I'd give you a high-five for this :)

Unknown said...

You're only a freshman?! Your story was extremely alluring and incredible. It made me want to keep reading. I loved the interesting topic you chose. I would've never guessed that someone would write a story about a goat! The sentence structure was perfect for the plot of the piece. The sentences were very choppy and sharp which added an edge to your story. The ending got me as well! Like an above comment said, your piece reminded me of Alice and Wonderland; a real land, but imaginative (if that makes sense). Good job!

-Mackenzie Hopkins

Neha Quraishi said...

Your story was so interesting to read! I love that it kept me hooked from the beginning to the end, as i found myself reading quickly just to see what would happen next. The end was my favorite because it was so unexpected but yet I felt it sitll added good closure to the story. Your use of a goat was both brilliant and unique, keep up the good work!

Unknown said...

Good Job! I never thought that the story was all a dream. It had a good twist.

Ryan Holguin said...

Despite the whole "it was all a dream" cliche going on right now, I felt this one was rather well done. The imagery and random nature of the story was rather entertaining, but if you could combine or expand your sentences it would make the experience more immersive. That being said, I enjoyed the story.

Gaby Gutierrez said...

This story was beyond creative. I could felt like I was right there the entire time witnessing what was going on. It took my imagination on a who new level and I love stories that have that affect on their readers. Good Job!!

Anonymous said...

This was a very interesting story to read. I felt that you the goat was used in a very unique way. -Jakob Cadena

Lucia Gonzalez said...

Wow, you are very creative! I thought it very impressive that you kept the story interesting with the constant use of situational irony like when the man finally finds convenient tools and then they suddenly catch on fire, or when he gets extremely close to being set free from the goat and his key suddenly breaks! I loved the ending because I found it unique in the sense that the man's "dream" happened to become his reality leaving me wanting to read more. Fantastic job! :D

Lucia Gonzalez said...

Wow, you are so creative! I found it to be very impressive how you kept me intrigued from beginning to end with the constant use of situational irony like the man finally finding convenient tools and them suddenly catching on fire, or when it seems as if he has managed to overcome all of the goats obstacles and will escape and one of the keys turns out to be faulty and breaks! I loved the twisted ending because i thought it incredibly unique in the sense that the man's "dream" becomes his reality which only left me wanting to read more. Fantastic job!:D

sabrina espinoza said...

I love the way you started out with a metaphor and built on to it

Tyler Reinhold said...

Wow, great story. I was immediately transferred into the dream world after the first paragraph. All the weird objects and the fact that things were just popping out of no where, reminded me of my insane dreams. Great job creating a real and dreamy atmosphere.

Unknown said...

This was quite an interesting story, but enjoyable. It was really reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland, with the fanciful events and then having it all be revealed as it being a dream at the end. Your great use of imagery allowed the audience to follow along. Good work!

manuel ortega said...

This story was very intresting in my opinion. Great work

Anonymous said...

Your story reminded me of how trippy and confusing dreams can be when you're in the middle of one, but when you wake up, you realize the absurdity of it all. It's really interesting how the protagonist doesn't really question why he's doing the things he's doing but just struggles to follow the goat's orders like it's a life or death situation. That's kind of like how we are in our dreams, where we don't question the absurdity of it all until we recall our dreams in our right state of mind. You brought me right into the story with your descriptive imagery and I came to a point where I, too, longed desperately for the man to find these dang keys.

-Chelsea Martinez

Jocelyn Lewis said...

I found your story quite amusing. It felt as if my mind was in a maze, along with the individual being antagonized by the goat. I had to pay attention to important details to follow along. It was amazing how if I lost track of where I was at in the story, the key seemingly was misplaced as well. The story was well written in a complex manner. Great Job.

Anonymous said...

i kind of liked the idea that it was all just a dream, it adds even more mystery as in to why 2 keys. It also adds even greater curiosity to see and find out what would have happened if he had gotten the red key and unlocked the red lock. -Jose Mancillas

Aryelle Estrada said...

i like how it was a dream and i also like your use of vocabulary.

Christofer guerrero said...

I love this story and I especially loved how you used a goat as the main item in this story.

Anonymous said...

Love how the story continuously raises the stakes and emotion! The dream element made it feel more mystical and unique.

-Erick Hollinquest