An event that has given me meaning or
rather much has given me a greater knowledge about safety was actually
something that had happened recently. I know I have told this story countless
of times but this time I shall put it in writing to not forget any details and
to put it in the past now.
The day was actually last year 2013
on September 23rd, this happened rather early in the day, I'd say about 7:30am.
Before I started driving to school I used to ride my bike from Sierra ave all
the way to school and back everyday. Today was different from the other days as
I had gone earlier than I would usually leave the house. My usual biking time I
would make going to school would be around 20-25 mins as I would go through the
bike trail that brings me close to the school. This long travel time would
become long and boring so to make the time go by faster I would wear headphones
and listen to music. Right around the stretch between Cherry and Beech ave I
met up with a regular biker I talk to. From here I took one headphone off to
have a friendly conversation with him and this continued on for a good while
until we got to where the bike trail met up with Baseline ave. from there we
stopped in order for the crosswalk to give us the right of way. Once the light
had turned green for the crosswalk, there was a car who blocked the crosswalk
so I had signaled him to go forward rather than waiting for us to cross. Once
the car had cleared the crosswalk I began to cross; the next thing I knew…
I was in the ambulance. I was over reacting as I could not remember what
had happened for me to be here. I truly believed that this was a dream or some
might say a nightmare. The paramedics who were with me in the ambulance were
asking questions such as,
“What’s your name?”
“Do you know what happened?”
“Do you know your parent’s Phone number?”
Maybe these questions were just to make sure I hadn’t gotten
amnesia or to keep me from falling unconscious again. But to the last question
I was able to recite the number back to them even in my condition. I then asked
them what happened, to which they responded,
“You were just involved in an accident”
I replied, “What kind?”
“You were just hit by a car”
I was very astonished by that statement I slowly drifted back into
unconsciousness again. When I had woken up again I was at Arrowhead regional
hospital (as I was told), being prepared for an MRI. They had been telling me
over and over again that it was a miracle that I hadn’t been killed in that
accident as I wasn’t wearing a helmet in during the hit.
45 comments:
Wow that's crazy! I like the way you went into detail which made it seem as if we were in your shoes. You did a great job on this piece!
Your experience gave me chills, as I had heard about it but never thought it was this bad. Kudos to your bravery and strength and not to mention the long trek from sierra avenue to Etiwanda!
Jacob Valdez
Period 4
Dang. I really like the unexpectedness of how this story played out. I also really like the fact that it's told from the father's point of view and how you portrayed this realistic teenager trying to portray himself as the epitome of the ideal teenager in today's society.
Jacob Valdez
Period 4
First of all I am so glad that your alive today sharing your story! Although I don't personally know you I was very happy after reading this personal reflection, not because you got hit by a car but because you seem to have no extreme physical damage. I like how you included the interaction between the paramedics and you because it kinda of lightens the mood, reassuring us that all your senses were working. My favorite part was the second sentence specifically when you wrote, " I shall put it in writing to not forget any details and to put it in the past now." This is very relevant, one had to deal with there past because its what shapes there futures, and although we shouldn't dwell on our past we should not forget it either because you're a survivor (I know it sounds corny but its true).
Evelin Conde
period.5
10/2/14
Ok so when I started reading I was very interested about what would come up and when you " Next thing I knew ... I was in an ambulance" That had given me the chills I've felt before!! I was shocked but kind of knew what might happened yet that didn't mean I was expecting a "feel bad for me" story I felt like this was a warning story to wear your helmet and don't do what I did. But seriously though thank god you are alive. Plus I really feel for you because the same situation had happened to me. While I was riding a bike; a car came towards me but not hitting me but my front wheel of my bike and I flew off and on to the side of curb. But you had gotten hit!! This was such a good story!!
Sarah Skibby
Period: 6
Reading this story it was as if I could mentally picture every event that had happened. The fact that you are able to continue on and tell the story today is a miracle in its self. Continue to strive for your goals and future, for you are here for a reason, so try and make an impact on the world. Even if it is just one person.
Oh my goodness gracious... That caught me so far off guard.. I thought I would be reading about you biking and how you appreciated your car or something to that respect. Definitely did not expect that literal moment of impact.
I'm extremely impressed with this piece! It really caught the sincere unexpected nature of the incident. It was really amazing how you were able to connect with the reader to convey every moment of your journey. I'm also really glad your okay!
Congrats on a spectacular writing!
Jeanna Lee :)
I remember when this happened! I was in shock when I found out that you were hit by a car when you were biking to school, and although you've told me what happened before, after reading your story, I felt as if I got a more personal perspective on what happened. The use of details and imagery really captures the essence of the story and the traumatizing experience you had. At least you had a little sense of what was kinda going on before you fell unconscious again and recited your parent's number. Overall, this is a well written story, and I'm glad you made it through alive to tell everyone this story. Good job Gabriel :)
Simran Bajwa
Period 1
Hey Gabe I remember when I heard about that and i just need to say how lucky we are to have you still The way you wrote this was very good. It allowed me to fully understand your emotions. Very great story, it gives me chills every time I hear about that accident. Very well done.
Daniel Alaniz
Period 4
Wow. I don’t know what to say. This is insane. I’m very glad you are here now and that you are getting over the entire incident. I couldn’t imagine being in that position. I love how you are using writing to talk about it and show your progressing and moving on from the entire accident. Besides that, I like how you used dialogue in your story to express your feelings. I felt as if I were in the position myself, as the suspense slowly but surely got to me.
-Nate shepard
WOW this was crazy! Its weird how so quickly things can change and it's crazy how you did not remember much, I really enjoyed all the description you gave about your day, because it seemed like an ordinary day.This just shows how this can happen to anyone.
This story was really interesting to read! I like how you included the quotes of the paramedics. If you didn't add this, I don't think your story would have much credibility, not that I wouldn't believe your story, but the fact that you could only remember this made it seem so real. I've been in the ambulance before after a traumatic experience and I barely could remember anything but getting in the ambulance and a day after. Also, I like how this story was more personal than the others. Crazy how I could imagine your route to school and I like how you were specific on the streets. All in all, glad to know there was a happy ending to this story, obviously. Your story is a great reminder for everyone to always be safe.
I can relate with this because I had a similar accident like this too but thank gosh I didn't get hit by the car. I'm glad you came out ok and you can relive to tell the tale and shock your audience! I thought the story would end differently so when the line "the next thing I knew ... I was in an ambulance." had caught me off guard and made me keep reading to see what happened to you. To me I feel like you are telling the story very confident and brave and you should be because after my accident (I didn't even get hit by the car exactly) I hadn't told anyone and you come up on here saying this happened, I survived, and now I'm here the way I am (brave) because this had happened in my past. Thank you for this story
Sarah Skibby
Period: 6
This story was great. I love how it was well written with great detail. I could actually picture myself in your shoes. Its great to hear that you survived this and that you are here to tell your story.
Jobelle Dauz
Period 2
This story was so great. It not only made my stomach drop as I read it but it also made me think of the value of life. A similar thing happened to me, it truly tells you to live to the fullest, along with a great lesson in safety as you said. You did a fabulous job, I loved the piece!!
Wow. That is pretty much my feelings summarized into one word after reading this. I found it interesting how you titled it "September Writing" and your accident happened in September. It's crazy, your accident occurred in September, and here you are a year later writing about it, in September, when at this time, you could have been gone. It is definitely miraculous that you are alive, and I am glad to say you are. As soon as I started reading your story and once you said that you knew that that day would be different, I inferred that you were going to explain that you had gotten into an accident, but I did not want to believe it. It was shocking to me that I was correct. I just find it crazy how these things can happen to anyone at anytime. You really never know when it is that you will either live another day or wake up to finding that it is your last day.
Katrina Dorado
P. 5
Gabriel, it is truly amazing that you are able to tell us this story after this horrible incident. First of all, I am amazed that you used to ride your bike to school everyday. I appreciated how you incorporated an element of normality by stressing the fact that you see this biker everyday and that you ride your bike everyday, however this incident was out of the ordinary. Overall a great piece!
Wow. I am extremely impressed that you could put this story into words. This event would've been hard to put into words, and I respect you for doing so Gabriel.The details put into the story helped me imagine what happened myself, especially the names of the streets. The details helped me imagine the monotony of a regular day, and the shock of a sudden event. The honest descriptions of being in an accident and the questions the paramedics gave you truly showed your point of view. As I said before, I truly respect you for getting this story out and in such vivid details. I can relate to having a traumatic experience, and the fact that you decided to write out your story "to put it into the past" is a very brave thing to do. I'm glad that you survived this experience and that you decided to share your experience with us. Good job.
Gabriel, I like the fact that you began this personal story by assuring the reader, and yourself, that writing this story is symbolic of moving on, and gives your experience finality. The fact that you began your piece in this way foreshadowed that your story would not be a pleasant one, although I am extremely glad that you are still alive to tell this tale. I like how you built up anticipation by recounting your personal misgivings about that morning. The little details that explain how that day was different from your usual days of riding your bicycle really hinted that something bad was soon to come. Great job!
Gabriel, I like the fact that you began this personal story by assuring the reader, and yourself, that writing this story is symbolic of moving on, and gives your experience finality. The fact that you began your piece in this way foreshadowed that your story would not be a pleasant one, although I am extremely glad that you are still alive to tell this tale. I like how you built up anticipation by recounting your personal misgivings about that morning. The little details that explain how that day was different from your usual days of riding your bicycle really hinted that something bad was soon to come. Great job!
Wow what an amazing story you have shared with us .I am really glad you are alive to this this amazing well detailed story about your terrible accident.I really enjoyed the conversation you put in the story with you and the paramedicts , very well written story.
Valerie Perez
Period 6
10/12/14
This gave my entire body chills! I really liked the way in which you told the story. I literally felt as if I were you living in your story. I also liked how it had somewhat of a happier ending, not like most stories these days (both real and fake). Very easy to read and enjoy.
Per. 4
Haylie Duncan
Marian Hollinquest
period 1
I remember you talking about this happening last year! I do remember you saying to Rudy that you were lucky you passed out and didn't feel anyway of the pain ha ha! Anyway, I'm glad your okay and shared your story with us! I can honestly say that I absolutely cannot relate to this, but your writing has made it easier to understand that pain and confusion one suffers when being in an accident and waking up in an unfamiliar surrounding.
It was a very amazing to see that you would share this personal story with such vivid detail to the whole world. My heart started beating a little bit when i read that you woke up in an ambulance. When i read that i already felt scared that you might have died even though i knew unconsciously that the writer is alive because he wrote this. You did an amazing job in retelling your experience as you gave every little detail you could which made it so much easier for me to picture the whole situation. Your use of imagery was outstanding. Thank you for sharing this experience you had.
Wow... That was the very first word that came out of my mouth when I read this story. The way you started it off, it prepared me for an eye opener, in which it truly was. I'm glad that you are okay and able to share this story to everyone today. The detail of your day really allows the audience to feel like they are there while these actions are taking place and relate to you. When you added the dialogue, it added a little bit of suspense because you didn't know what was going on exactly until they said you were hit by a car. Overall, a wonderful piece of work! I enjoyed it.
Idalys Martinez
Period 1
Even though you have told me this story in person before, it was still really suspenseful in writing. The best part of your blog entry was the amount of detail that you included in the story. You even gave us the street names. I like how you included your inner thoughts and reasoning to your story, and the dialogue between you and the paramedics. Including the questions they asked you gave a good effect. Great work!
Anthony Hurd
Period 4
10/12/14
Even though you have told me this story in person before, it was still really suspenseful in writing. The best part of your blog entry was the amount of detail that you included in the story. You even gave us the street names. I like how you included your inner thoughts and reasoning to your story, and the dialogue between you and the paramedics. Including the questions they asked you gave a good effect. Great work!
Anthony Hurd
Period 4
10/12/14
This was a very compelling experience you have shared with us and I am so glad you came out with no serious injuries. The descriptive use of imagery created such a vivid and surreal picture that it felt as if I was actually there. The shift from the nice morning bike ride to school to the sudden horrifying incident set an anxious tone for the story. Overall you did a splendid job and managed to make me think more about the importance of safety precautions.
Madi Cordura
P. 1 10/12/14
This is an amazing story and I am happy and relieved to know that you are alive and well! It's crazy how we here all of these stories about others, and we never imagine them to happen to us. But in your case, it did happen and I'm glad that you now have learned a lesson about safety. I also loved the part in this piece where you said the paramedic said you were 'just' hit by a car, like it was no big deal when in reality it is! That's crazy! This is an amazing story
And I give you props Sierra is quite some ways away considering your transportation mechanism!
Reading your story made my heart beat a little bit faster, to be honest. It's really hard to believe how easy accidents can happen and how easily death can occur. Your story definitely made me think about that, good job.
Wow! Thats really scary, I'm glad that you are okay. I really like how much detail you put into your piece. It made me feel as if I was in your position. I really like how you added dialogue with the paramedics to kind of reassure that you still could respond and weren't seriously injured. Good Job!
Alyssa Anastasi
Period 5
10/13/14
Wow great story. I like this story because it's realistic and contains a lot of imagery. I was able to picture the ambulance in my head clearly. Great Job! -Altierre Paris
I actually remember you telling me this story with the wounds on your arms (I even remember when you tried to hide it by giving me the excuse that you were jumped by a gang). First of all, I am amazed by the bravery and maturity you retained when you were placed on such an unexpected turn from life; I am also overjoyed that you weren't given any reason not to come to school that same week. The way you structured this piece has made it personal and direct making the reader anticipating for more. Whew! I am glad you are well and keep on writing!
Jaena Lauren Fabia
Period 4
Margaret Moyer
Per. 5
I remembered when this happened, I was super worried when it did. Your writing really allows us to experience what happened that day. At the end the fragmented memories heightened that feeling of going in and out of conscience.
Dang! That was pretty scary. I've never myself been in a car accident, or any accident, but the way you described the story almost put the reader in your shoes. I have to commend you on being able to talk about an experience like this, with confidence too. I'm also really happy that your okay and your able to come to school and still talk about something like this with bravery. As far as your writing goes, I really like your use of detail in the story, because it helped to create a sense of imagery. I can almost picture the story as I'm reading it. Good Job!
Good job gabe. Really powerful writing invoking the tragedy of what happened to you last year. Really good writing to show what can happen on such a regular day. -Richie Gaspers Period 5
Wow. I enjoyed your story. There was so much detail and it made me feel as if i was you. great job !!
imalla ramirez
period 6
i loved this story alot. Well written and scary. Theres alot of imagrey in the story. good job !
Now this story is a great story the imagery is well said and the spookiness of it is just the cherry on top
period 6
Leo Franco
dang thats pretty crazy to hear that... but i like how you was writing and the way you said that the helmet saved you. But the thing that i really loved was when you acted like it was a perfect day and how you told us that it was just like every single day...but different and the way you wrote it, made it impossible to foreshadow.
william bema
pd.2
I remember that day last year. You even told me about your experience while walking home, but I was too zoned out to care. Now that I remember your story fully, I would like to say how sorry I am that you had to go through such a tragic event so early in your life and that your a pretty tough guy to have had that happen and still come out alive. It's good that you wrote this to remember the past, but at the same time try to leave it behind you and move on. Stay strong Gabriel.
-Justin Presto
Period 6
wow!!! this was a really good story it was freaky how he survived that but overall you have to watch out for those cars
Angel Gonzalez
period 2
Edit: I remember that day last year. You even told me about your experience while walking home, but I was too zoned out to care. Now that I remember your story fully, I would like to say how sorry I am that you had to go through such a tragic event so early in your life and that your a pretty tough guy to have had that happen and still come out alive. It's good that you wrote this to remember the past, but at the same time try to leave it behind you and move on. Stay strong Gabriel.
-Justin Presto
Period 2
Wow. That gave me the chills. I appreciate and admire you telling your story and being so open. I loved the way you started it off detailing your morning routine as if it were just any other day. Your experience has humbled me and really made me realize how blessed we all are. Keep writing!
-Leah Hernandez
Per 4
Wow Gabriel, this was a very captivating story. I really admire your courage in sharing your experience. The way you started the story as just a normal day and it would seem to continue to be as you go through your morning routine and then within an instant you awake in an ambulance. It certainly brought up emotions not only for you but us who are reading your story. Your story really shows how your life can hit you literally. I'm glad you are okay and still with us.
-Isaiah Johnson
Per. 1
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