When
I was a child, I showed interest in being a drummer just like my father. In
fact, my mother has pictures of me as a toddler just hitting stuff on my
father’s huge drum set. And because of this interest, my father got me my own
drum kit. It consisted of 3 drums and 2 cymbals and I loved it with all my
heart. I would occasionally show my father what I was learning and what I was doing
well so I could show off. Once, when I was about 7 or 8, my father brought back
a DVD of a heavy metal band in concert from one of his business trips because
he had to travel a lot. He would usually bring back some sort of souvenir from
wherever he went. He invited my brother and me to watch it with him because we
were starting to get interested in that kind of music. It is because of my
father that my brother and I enjoy the kind of music that we do. At the end of
the DVD the band was ending their set and as they were ending it the entire
band started destroying everything! They were breaking all of their guitars,
destroying the drum set, and even throwing things into the audience. My
childish boy mind was loving this and after that all I wanted to do was destroy
a drum set. So one day I called my dad to my drum set to show him what I was
learning. He was cheering me on and had no idea the destructive thoughts that
were going through my mind as I was finishing my little show. As I finished, my
father gave me a standing ovation and then was in immediate shock as he had to
dodge a flying drumstick I had thrown his way. While he was still comprehending
what was happening, I was kicking over every drum and cymbal I had. As I jumped
into my bass drum, breaking the drum head, my father sprang into action and
grabbed me and took my away from the mess I made. I was particularly proud of
that mess as he took me to my room. I was of course grounded and only given
drum pads for a long while after that. I find it funny in hindsight that I
thought this event would be impressive and not something of concern to my
parents. This experience has taught me to be less impulsive. I was very
impulsive back then and slightly am now but because of this experience I have
some control. Many of my childhood experiences have shaped me into the person I
am today because I know now not to do anything like the dumb stunts I used to
pull, they have made me generally smarter. I also learned to not destroy drum
sets. I recently got another drum set and I know very well that I shouldn’t
destroy it.
Find the shape and tell it!
48 comments:
While reading, I liked that you mentioned some background info about your childhood, it kinda set it as a flashback in my mind, and it shows your interest from a young age. I definitely understand where you're coming from when you said that the DVD influenced you enough to destroy your own drums, that was me except instead of destruction it was Avatar. I'm glad that it taught you self control and to not make rash decisions. My favorite part was that comedic relief in the end. Good job Nick!
Your story was an interesting way to show how you learned from a mistake you made in the past. For a child so young to watch a DVD where a band destroys their instruments and have the instinct to also start destroying the drum made this story humorous. It also showed how your father was an important role model in you life.
Ashley Sung
I really enjoyed your story and how you set up a childhood memory and then described it as a lifelong learning experience. The story had a great use of imagery too and it was really funny to imagine a little kid destroy a drum kit in front of a parent. The comic relief at the end helped to tie it all together as well. Overall your story was really great!
-Brianna Killion
I was very impressed by this piece because not only did you take the audience to a flashback in your life but also learned something valuable even as a child and apply that lesson to your life now. You took an event that could have been another childhood memory and grew from it. I was entertained throughout the whole piece and I liked that you used a variety in your word choice.
I was very impressed by this piece because not only did you take the audience to a flashback in your life but also learned something valuable even as a child and apply that lesson to your life now. You took an event that could have been another childhood memory and grew from it. I was entertained throughout the whole piece and I liked that you used a variety in your word choice.
I thought this piece was ferry funny, especially when you used subtle lines like "I was only given drum pads for a long while" and "I know very well that I shouldn't destroy it." It is very humorous without trying to be too funny, and i liked the use of imagery and word choice.
Nathan Smith
This piece was so innocent and funny. The title was captivating because it left a lot to the imagination. The story gave us a flashback and showed us a passion of yours and how you've grown and learned so much since then. The use of diction conveyed an image of "destroying" the drum.
This was so funny! I believe all children have had some version of this experience at one time or another and I think you were able to connect that with the reader so well by describing your childhood impulsiveness and exposing a dash of humility by expressing the impulsiveness you still posses. This was such an amazing piece to connect to, the humor and humility allowed me to create a bond throughout the piece.
I think the minds of children are quite funny. You believed that by making the mess you would impress your father, and i feel like this is something that all children do. That by doing something bad, you would impress someone you care about. It is something that many people can connect to.
I think that we have all done something to impress our parents or people who we look up to. In this case you wanted to impress your dad and ended up getting grounded but I've learned that even if we get grounded our childish minds still has impulsive thoughts. I thought it was great that you got something valuable out of your experience, now you know not to copy everything you see. Great story, I have to say I had a flashback to my childhood.
Very relatable piece. This shows how destruction can really be a huge lesson to anyone. Everyone has had their fair share of this lesson, especially children. Great way of conveying your message.
Your story was very interesting and sorta relatable because when I was little, I would always destroy stuff in my house when I played soccer in the house. It is funny how we learn from our mistakes by destroying a few things in the past. Also, your story had great imagery to help me picture the events that were happening in your story. Especially, when you destroyed your drum set.
I enjoyed reading, and the fact that you look up to your father as well is just amazing. I've always wanted to be able to be close or inspire to be like one of my parents, too. Anyway, its funny how you used your memory as a child and turned into a lesson, very interesting.
It was good how you presented your story in a simple, engaging manner. This made it a pretty effective way to enjoy your piece and see where you're coming from. The funny scenes and concepts made it just that much easier to feel more connected to the story. Sounds like a great childhood memory dude, loved the story
The story kind of touched me in a relatively child-like way. It made me remember the small mischievous things that we do as kids only to learn from them and grow. The title was perfect for this piece because you didn't really know the meaning until about half way when I put two and two together. You really did a good job writing this narrative experience.
The story kind of touched me in a relatively child-like way. It made me remember the small mischievous things that we do as kids only to learn from them and grow. The title was perfect for this piece because you didn't really know the meaning until about half way when I put two and two together. You really did a good job writing this narrative experience.
Haha, this is one of the most entertaining stories I have read on here. I love how happy you sounded as a kid so freely talking about your kid self, it seems you had a lot of fun writing this out. I found it funny and very inspiring how dedicated and how much fun you had with something you were so passionate about it, even to the point of breaking your drum kit because you were so on fire with your performance! If you have any more stories I would love to hear or read more of them!
This is such a cute story to share and I want to thank you for that. I think this story is very reflective of many of us, because as kids, we often learn from our mistakes, and at that age, our mistakes are often more outrageous. This piece was simply written, but very appropriate for the story being told here. I really enjoyed this piece because it is simple, and very relatable. Good work.
This was a very interesting story that I can relate to when I was a child. Instead of destroying a drum set, I just destroyed anything I could get my hands to. It is good that you learned your lesson at a early age and found your liking towards drums.
This was a very interesting story that I can relate to when I was a child. Instead of destroying a drum set, I just destroyed anything I could get my hands to. It is good that you learned your lesson at a early age and found your liking towards drums.
It was great to use a memory as a child to show how events shape you into who you are. Theres an important message in the story that not everything that you do is the right thing or turns out the right way. Most times, its the opposite. But its very important that we don't get down when things don't go right, rather learn from them. By using an example from your childhood, it in a way creates a nostalgia to the readers by reminding ourselves of all stupid things we have done. It also can show us that we remember these events because we learned from them. It was very effective on how you executed your point, because you connected to the reader. Your title is awesome too, because usually when something is destroyed, you learn the only thing left to do is build up. Great job!
I really liked your story. I thought it was really funny and cute! This reminded me of my childhood and all the things I would do with the intention of getting praised only to be scolded. I can relate to the overall message of learning through experience.
Hehe this is definitely the most relatable pieces so far. The way that you take us step by step throughout the story really makes it feel up close and personal, like you're actually talking to us. It's very simple, yet elegant. I can really imagine a little dude destroying his drum set.
I love this! I can relate to it so easily, maybe not in the same actions but I use to repeat what I saw on the t.v. Also, I liked how you set up the story and why you ended watching the dvd instead of just diving into what you did.
Despite the simplicity in this piece, I found that you used some very effective writing techniques to contribute to the playful and childish story that you're telling. Like we learned this past week in class, Flashback can be very effective in writing and I though you used it very well. Also, you're very specific detail and imagery helped me to picture everything that was happening in your story. The piece overall really brought me back to my naughty childhood years, something that I believe is a great ability to have as a writer as it compels readers and lures them into reading your writing. Great Job!
Nick, you did such an amazing job writing this piece! At first it appears to be a simplistic story, however it presented so much emotion and was one hundred percent relatable. Reading about the relationship between you and your father was heart warming because many of us our heavily influenced by our parents, and we like many of the things we do today because of them. I found myself laughing so much throughout the course of this story, especially when you destroyed the drum set in front of your father, because I can remember the looks on parent's faces when I used to do things that I thought would impress them, but failed to. Overall, I loved how your story had the ability to relate with most people and remind us of our similar past experiences from our childhoods.
I loved how intriguing this piece is. It had me laughing and reminicsing my childhood - which thankfully didn't include as much destruction. It was interesting how you connected your childhood memory of breaking your drum set to overcoming your impulses and putting more thought into your actions as you grew older. This is a hilarious peiece that I really enjoyed reading, so thank you.
This personal story, written in first person, builds a story quick, has a valuable theme, and has a bit of humor for entertainment purposes. You made one of your own personal life experiences into a life lesson that we can all learn by.
I love how you used your dad as an inspiration to the actions made in the future parts of your life, it shows a true role model. I love the idea of playing the drums because in a certain part of my life, I wanted to play them. This story really showed the mistakes and lessons you learned which is a splendid part of this passage.
This piece expresses the idea on how we learn so much when we are little. Our mindset revolves around the expression of "monkey see, monkey do" and we tell ourselves that some things are okay as long as we see an adult doing it. As you mentioned in your piece, now that we are older, we realize that our actions have costs and just because your partner is doing it doesn't mean you should follow. I'm really glad you showed this message through your own personal experience.
I really enjoyed this light hearted story of your childhood. This takes me back to all the times that I wanted to stick to walls after I watched spider-man for the first time. I like how you derived a life lesson out of something you did as a kid and I am glad you taught yourself self-control. My favorite part was when you threw the drum stick at your dad. I couldn't stop laughing, as the image kept repeating in my head!
Great story! Its not everyday that you get to her a story from someones childhood. I loved how this is something that has happened to everyone not in the same exact way but, in the way that when children are young they do exactly what they see. This isn't always a good thing and consequences can come like you explained perfectly.
While reading this story I found it amusing and made me think back to when I also did stupid things like that as a kid. Also your message on how the things and actions we did when we were kids shaped us to who we are today made me think about all the events that made me become who I am.
I loved reading your piece I felt like I was talking to you in person. Your story was very light hearted and humorous which reminded me of all of the silly stuff that I used to do as a little kid. As a musician I can relate to wanting to destroy my instrument (guitar) after playing an awesome song!
This story is so light hearted and funny, I love it. I could really see the image of a little kid destroying their drum set after playing and it's hilarious. Great job.
-Kyle McClanahan
I like how you kept your story simple, which gives it a certain uniqueness that I found pleasant. I also enjoyed your use of your childhood and your relationship with your father giving the text a light hearted and nostalgic tone which resonated with me as a reader, good job.
The way you described a childhood memory made it much easier to visualize what was happening, especially since it was written through your perspective as a child. I also loved how I could relate to this story myself, I too enjoy playing with musical instruments and I can thank my parents for influencing me into becoming the musician I am today. From your childhood experience, you illustrated how a child can be easily influenced by others, which I found quite admirable. Great job!
I really enjoyed how you first went back in time to your childhood and told us of these nostalgic stories that explained where your love for drumming came from as well as how your dad played a role model in your life. I also love how we were taken into your young mind and saw how you decided you would destroy your drum set, your use of imagery also really added to this piece, and I found it pretty humurous as well
This piece is constructed quite well. As you described your childhood, it was very easy for me to follow along and picture every image in my head vividly. It was an entertaining piece and i enjoyed hearing your story. i found the ending funny and i enjoyed the foreshadow you gave about the professional drummers breaking their drum sets. i feel like many people could take something away from this poem and i know i definitely can because of my own impulsiveness. Great piece overall.
I thinks it's very nice how u have a nice relationship with ur dad and I can relate how u dad influences u I can relate a lot and how u describe everything that happeneds. I enjoyed you piece very much and u are very talented I really like reading things that I can picture because of the great use of imagery nice job
This made me laugh so hard. I think this is a really great memory to have. I also think it is great that you notice your flaw of impulsiveness. Not many people can admit their wrongs. The way you reminisced about your childhood made me feel like I was also a part of this story which is really important in order to connect with an audience. I like the way you wrote this story as well with brief simple sentences. Good job!!!
It is amazing the relationship you have with you dad and the story was well constructed. Your dad has a powerful influence on you and not many people can admit their wrongs. Good work!
A very detailed piece. Your use of imagery, especially those that conjure up more than one sense, of which there are many, was very well done. An excellent recounting of a childhood memory overall.
You did a great job in assuring that the audience was able to be taken back to that moment in time with you. The details which contribute to the imagery and the internal conflict you had in your experience were very precise. Nice job executing your piece :)
Thank you for sharing one of your childhood memories :). As kids we are pretty impulsive and still in the early stages of learning what's morally right and wrong, I found it hilarious that your parents didn't understand what you were doing yet you found so much pride in destruction. That you expected a positive outcome from it but of course you were given a learning experience with consequences and a second chance to show what you learned.
The tone of your piece is very light and humorous, which pairs very well with the youthful fascination I'm sure you must've had with the sensation of breaking your drum set. You also did well in demonstrating your lessons learned from the experience, by detailing how your bold impulsiveness gradually became more mature and knowledgeable. Overall a good job!
Post a Comment