It was a September
afternoon in 2004, my brother Adrian and I had just gotten home from school
when our front door neighbor came to our house to tell us to watch the news and
see what had happened. There was a car crash on the fifteen freeway right before
the Summit exit. As we are watching this I can see that my brother was
beginning to worry and I at the time was too young to understand what was
happening. A Little red Toyota truck had crashed into a parked car on the side
of the road, causing the truck to roll and land on its side. At this point
another neighbor came to our house and told us that he would take us to where
the accident happened, which was near the Kohl’s parking lot. As we get there
we see a crowd of people looking, cops standing, ambulance approaching, and the
noise of the sirens surrounding us. We’re walking closer and now we can see the
bottom of the truck facing us, I look at my brother and he seems so afraid. He
worried and feared that the people in that truck would be our Dad and our two
older brothers. I remember the police officer approaching my brother and I as
he began to try and tell my brother to not worry, maybe it wasn’t out Dad’s
truck and that he would take us to go get ice cream, just something to distract
us, but my brother did not want to leave he wanted to see if it was our Dad and
our brothers and he wanted our Mom to come. After this our neighbor took us
back home where our Mom was outside listening to what our neighbors would tell
her, but all I could see were the tears pouring down her face, the fear of not
knowing what was happening, and her not knowing what to do, who to call, or
where to go. My Dad and my brother Oscar were sent to Arrowhead but my brother
Eric was in such a bad conditions that he was taken by a helicopter straight to
Loma Linda where they specialize in head trauma. Due to this my Mom made us
stay with a family friend for a while until things were in better conditions.
My Dad had dislocated his hip and shoulder, ripped his forehead and nose open,
and had glass in his face and under his chin. Oscar had broken his arm and
ripped his nose and lip open, but Eric had it worst. Eric was in the middle
seat during the car ride, when they opened the truck with the jaws of life they
couldn't see him because he was folded under the dashboard extremely hurt and
unconscious. He then was placed on the gurney and put in the helicopter for a
faster way of transportation. They told us that on their way to the hospital
Eric kept flat lining and they had to resuscitate him until he had a steady
heart beat again, but once arriving at the hospital Eric fell into a coma for
about Fifteen days. During the accident he hit his forehead causing his head to
swell, which they then went into his first surgery where they detached a part
of his skull to remove some of the pressure in his head. The next thing they
had to do dwelled of having another surgery which had many parts to it. First
they would remove a part of his hip bone to fix the vertebrates in his neck.
Second they would have to complete a tracheostomy which is where they insert a
tube in his throat to allow air to flow to his lungs, and lastly they inserted
a gastrostomy tube which is a tube put into his abdomen to deliver food to his
stomach. The Doctors had told my Mom that they had done everything they could
but now he is in the hand of God and the only thing we could do was wait and
pray that he would wake up and see in what conditions he would be in. Two or
three days after the surgery Eric began to slowly wake up from his coma.
Although he woke up his recovery was a very slow process where he would learn
how to eat, talk, and walk again this consisted on a lot of hours in therapy.
However in December that same year Eric went through his last surgery where
they would place the piece of his skull that they had removed back in his head.
Even though the Doctors had no faith that Eric would ever recover 100% he did,
and he was classified as that one percent of those who recover completely from
he went through. Looking at everything Oscar, my Dad, and Eric went through I
realized that I want to become a doctor. Not for the money but because at the
end of the day you make an impact on your patient’s life and you can be a part
of that living miracle.
Find the shape and tell it!
26 comments:
This story began so tragic. and developed into a miracle. I am completely inspired from the bravery of your family with all the hardships you have had to face. I think it is so amazing that the tragic event has influenced you to become an individual who can change the lives of those who are going through a similar situation and to become a doctor for a reason other than money.
I really found this piece to be very suspenseful, I kept wanting to read more and more to find out who was in that truck. Your descriptive language such as the setting of the incident helped me create the overall scene in my head. Your family is very brave to have gone through such a tragic event, I am happy for you guys that your brother was able to be classified in that one percent. Much love to you and your family!
This piece was very well written, you used so much detail that it allowed me to picture everything and feel everything going on. I couldn't even imagine the pain and the fear of this situation, you are extremely strong because you were able to cope with all of this commotion. Times like these are so scary and I am so happy to hear that everything is okay. It is so awesome that you want to become a doctor because they do really impact the lives of their patients and the world.
This story was very suspenseful and sad, but it was really well written and contained great imagery. The story had a great transition between the tragic event and how you want to be a doctor for that reason. The situation must have been very scary but it's good that your family got through it. I'm really glad everyone in your family is okay and that you're brother fully recovered!
-Brianna Killion
I am glad everything turned out okay for you and your family in the end. The situation is horrifying, and I could really feel it with your descriptiveness. Your last two sentences were very powerful. You will be a great doctor in the future!
The title along with the first sentence gives a very mysterious tone to the opening of your piece. At only age four, its hard to completely process certain situations, especially one as extreme as the car accident but it seems you handled it with such composure compared to that of your brother or mother. The fact that your brother suffered the worst injuries, having many surgeries and the doctors doing everything they can, leaving it up to God, your brother was definitely a miracle. I love that you made the connection between a terrible incident you experienced at such a young age to finding your calling. Thank you for being willing to share such a personal experience. Excellent job!
The title was very mysterious it automatically made me want to read more. The topic sentence was even better just from reading the first sentence it intrigued me into wanting to read more. With the diction you used it really helped me get into the story. To think that it is a true story, you are very brave, and i'm sorry to hear about your brother.
Such an inspiring story and very touching. I'm glad you are going to become a doctor and not for the money but to help those in need and to become a hero rather than a villain that steals the money for themselves. You displayed very detailed imagery of your dad's and brother's accidents. Amazing story that needs to be shared.
The story had a very strong, sorrowful feel to it, which added to the sympathy I felt for you. The great amount of suspense you added throughout your brother's surgery had me hoping that he made it through and the relief and comfort I felt after knowing that he was recovered was just an amazing feeling. Your story greatly shows that miracles do happen by God and having faith in the outcome is the most important thing we can do.
The detail used gave me such a suspenseful and nerve wrecking feeling that I can only imagine how your family must have felt. It's truly inspiring that such events have motivated you and have lead to your determination to become a doctor and help others. Truly amazing and I'm glad that all turned out well for your brothers and father!
I really liked your story it was such a strong and powerful piece that I could really feel all of the emotions. I can tell the theme of this piece was like frightened and worried about something happening. I'm so happy your family is okay God really does work miracles.
The descriptive language in this piece was very vivid and explicit which really conveyed a suspenseful yet gloomy tone to it. I liked how you used that experience as a catalyst for you to become a doctor. The sole reason why i want to be in the medical field is because i want to make a change in the world. So i thought it was interesting we share that trait.
I came here to read your story like you asked, Angela :). While reading this I was moved. I couldn't help but be invested into the emotional aspect of it. All the crazy things you must have seen at such a young age must have been difficult to cope with. Your story was compelling because of all the imagery you gave while being able to remember all the clear-cut details and give them to us in a story. I really enjoyed this.
This story was well extremely written, you used a great amount of detail that helped to draw in your readers. It was suspenseful, and in return end off well. I'm thankful you shared your story as it may help anyone else that may go through any similar situation in their own family. I'm glad everything turned out well for your family!
I am glad that everyone ended up okay, this must have been an extremely traumatic experience. I thought that the amount of detail that you used in your piece helped to explain not only what had happened, but also helped readers grasp the severity of the injuries that your family went through.
This was a very well written story. All of the very descriptive details made me feel like I was actually there and helped create a very vivid picture. The suspense of your story made me want to keep reading. I'm so glad that everything turned out okay in the end.
This is inspiring because he was able to recover fully against all odds and now it has influenced you to become a doctor. Overall this story had a great use of descriptive detail throughout and I'm glad you decided to share.
This story had me wanting to keep reading and most of all made me feel as if i was there watching and living the situation through all the descriptive words. I'm so glad everyone turned out okay and most of all that your brother is a living miracle. I find it very inspiring that after all you've experienced, you want to be that hope for other people. Very well written.
This was a great story. You used really great detail that almost made me feel as if I had experienced this with you. You kept me wanting more throughout the story. I loved that although it was a traumatic experience you still found a way to find goodness in the end. Its such a blessing that everything turned out for the better.
This by far has to be one of the most intriguing stories I have read in a long time. Due to the fact that I live right around the corner from the Kohl's parking lot and you displayed many descriptive as well as intricate details, I almost felt like I was there with you witnessing the crash. Although this story focused on a very serious and tragic topic, I enjoyed how you included your feelings as a young child, and the innocence shown through your feelings at the time was incredible to hear about. You did an amazing job at conveying the massive range of emotions felt from you, your brother, your mother, and even your neighbors. It was a beautiful thing to learn that even though everybody around you was in panic, you were optimistic and felt that everything was sure to be okay. After the many unfortunate events caused from the crash, I was relieved and very happy to hear that you and your family were truly blessed with a miracle. Thank you so much for sharing your very inspiring story with us!
Your story is so personal and genuine and it is a great reminder for people our age that they should chose a career they are passionate about, rather than a career that simply pays the best. Your use of formal speech when describing the procedures gives your piece an elevated sense of maturity and knowledge beyond our age. It is evident that you are very interested in the medical field and I believe your personal experience will motivate you to excel in the future.
This story truly showed the inspirational and beautiful miracles that occur in life. Your family's situation was nothing short of what started as a tragedy yet turned into a journey of having faith and joining as a family to help each other through such hard times. Seeing it from the point of view of you when you were younger reflected your innocence and hearing the way it impacted what you want to do in life is inspiring. I would've never known you went through something so hard because you're always so positive, have good faith, and so uplifting, but now that I know this, I feel as though you are who you are because of it. Besides a few punctuation errors, nothing major. Nonetheless, beautiful and touching piece Angela!
This was such an inspiring story and to be honest I teared up while reading it. The imagery used in the story and the details of the crash really created an image of what I believe you had seen. Overall the topic of a miracle really hit home. A lot of people do not understand what a true miracle is and a lot of people also find it hard to believe in miracles. God has blessed me with what I believe to a true miracle in my life, in which has saved my family. I love how this has been an impact for you to become a doctor and similarly I was impacted by multiple events in my life to become doctor myself. I wish you the best of luck in pursuing the dream of becoming a doctor.
Reading this piece i was mostly on edge wondering who is was i the car and what their condition was and the drama that was involved in it. The fact that its an actual real life event makes is so much better because it comes from a place of true emotion and not just made up notions. Im glad everyone made it through such a wild experience and im glad you were also able to gain something positive out of it as well.
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