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Friday, September 30, 2016
" The event that changed my life forever" by Kyle Mc
Freshman year just ended and I was so excited for the upcoming summer I was going to
have with my teammates that I befriended throughout the year. The first week of summer was
just as I hoped It would be. I was having fun hanging out at my friend’s house and just enjoying
my summer. Then, the second week of summer comes that changed my entire life as I knew it.
On the Monday before June 1st, 2014 I was supposed to go to my dad’s house, since my parents
were divorced, but that day I made a major mistake that I could never have realized I was
making. I asked my dad if I could stay at my mom’s house for this week, he was very
understanding since I was only going to spend that night and then the next morning at his house. He said that it would be okay with him and we talked for a couple of minutes about the randomevents that occurred that week. I told him that I would see him soon and then we said goodbye to each other and that was it. I could have never guessed then that the small conversation talking about pointless things, was the last time I would hear his voice. The week goes by once again as normal until Saturday night. I was packing to go to my dad's the next morning around 11 o’clock when my older brother rushed in urgently telling me to put on clothes to go out in and that our mom was coming to take us somewhere. While I was getting ready many thoughts were rushing through my mind wondering why my brother had that frightened look on his face as if he just saw a ghost. As we wait for our mom there is no words being spoken, only us waiting patiently to leave. We hear the car roll up to the driveway and we know it’s time to go, After getting into the car my mom tells me that my dad is in Urgent Care and we are going to see him.
On the drive there it felt as if the world got darker, the stars disappeared and the moon no longer lit up the surface. It was 11:48 when we finally arrived to Urgent Care. The building suddenly did not seem as if it was a place of restoring life but instead a place of death. As we walked towards the room I hear people rushing and scrambling around and faintly hear crying. Entering the room I see my family in tears and doctors sweating working as hard as they can, then my eyes drift to the bed. I see the body of the person I had so many memories with still as could be almost as if he was a manikin. It was at that moment I fully understood what was happening. Those moments in that room must have only been around 15 minutes, but for me it felt as if I spent the whole night watching the doctors work. I kept listening to his pulse clinging onto each and every beep the machine made. Then suddenly I didn't hear beeping anymore, it was gone. That night I learned one of the hardest lessons that life can teach. You’ll never know when you’re going to lose someone, so you should live life making sure that you won’t regret anything.
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45 comments:
I genuinely can't stress enough how much your story caught my attention, but before I say anything else, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how much this would hurt, but I am really glad that you were able to look on the bright side of the situation and get that message that you will forever live your life by. The way you described everything and how you felt and the exact details just made this story feel so real as if I was watching this happen. Thank you for sharing this life changing moment.
The tone of regret in this piece is so strong and emotionally difficult to read that I cannot imagine the pain you have gone through. The raw sentiment that you brought into writing this was evident and very powerful. Your detail and diction help the reader understand how vividly this remains in your memory. I hope that, although the pain will always be there, your regret will subside so that you can go on more peacefully. Best wishes to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story has so many genuine emotions attached to it that transferred to me, for when I finished reading this, I realized I felt a strong sense of sadness and remorse. Your intricate details, from the way your brother looked when he rushed in to the various sounds you heard when you entered the Urgent Care building, helped me understand and relate to your situation. The various types of imagery you used were also effective in describing the situation, such as the beeps being made by the machine. The lesson you learned from this experience is one that you will never forget, and I'm thankful you decided to share it.
Before I start saying anything, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine all the thoughts and memories you have gone through. Last year, I had a similar event occurred to me, but with my grandpa. I can totally relate with you throughout the whole passage. Your use of descriptive detail and emotions put into the text made me feel like I was there with you throughout passage. From your brother's face to the beeping of the machine, it made me connect with the situation. Lastly, I just want to say thanks for sharing your moment and stay strong.
I'm sorry for your loss. The emotions you described when your father passed felt so real that it felt like I was able to feel the emotions that happened in the moment. I've never experienced a loss of anyone in my family but I feel like something like that happened to me I would've felt the same way you were feeling. All the memories that you had with your dad would be going through your head until the moment of the beeping of the machine. I was inspired how you were able to write about something so personal.
Ashley Sung
My condolences go out to you and your family, losing someone is never an easy obstacle to overcome. I related to your piece because my parents too are divorced, and I would always wonder if it would be the last time I see them again. The intense tone you presented in the piece was heart wrenching and provided a reader/author connection that made me feel as if I were reliving the experience. Your descriptive details and emotions brought the piece to life and ressonated withing my own emotions.I commend you for being so brave to write such a personal and inspiring piece. I hope you can look past the regrets and pain, stay strong.
The title of this piece caught my attention and as I was reading through the second paragraph, I had to stop myself for the fear of the unforeseen events that were foreshadowed in the first paragraph due to your diction. Mentioning the world getting darker and stars disappearing allowed me to visualize the thoughts and feelings that you were going through on the drive to Urgent Care. In the third paragraph, I can tell how much of an impact this incident had on you due to the feelings you convey with descriptive language. I agree with your point about regrets and how we should live life to the fullest. My sincerest condolences.
This was very well written but sadly about the loss of someone really close to you. Its a terrible thing that happened but at least you learned something from it. Events like these are not good but it is even worse to dwell on them without learning anything or becoming stronger. I think it was important that you did learn from this. This piece kept me reading intently despite my fear of the outcome.
I am so sorry that you and your family had to endure that, I can't even begin to image the pain of losing of either of my parents. I am glad that you shared this story because a lot of the time, sharing these things helps people cope and reflect on the past in ways that many if us sometimes try to avoid. I think your use of detail was great and your way of describing this story was pure and heartfelt. Great work.
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm really glad that you wrote about this because it shows people that live life to fullest and to never have any regrets. I also imagined what you were seeing when you were describing what the emergency room looked like. Thank you for the touching story.
The title definitely caught my attention and I wasn't sure what this piece would eventually be about. I am truly so sorry and saddened by loss, however I am so glad you gained the courage to share your story. The descriptive diction and the vivid details you used makes it clear that series of events is still clear in your mind. Your strength to share the story reminds others, like me, who have lost some one special to them that we are not alone. I hope the feelings of regret will soon dwindle away your pain will decrease. Amazing piece.
*your loss
I am so incredibly sorry that you've had to go through something so terrible. I can only begin to imagine how you felt throughout this whole experience and writing this. You are so brave to have written this and posting this here. You are so strong to have gone through this and to have made it through. Regret is, unfortunately, just something we have to go through but I truly believe your dad is so proud of you and he is with you always.
Wow! I want to acknowledge your willingness to share this story, because I am sure this is hard topic to write about. This piece really hit home because i went through something similar myself. I loved your use of imagery in this one, it really help me picture what you went through. I extend you my sincere condolences.
I wish the best for you and your family, and am deeply sorry for your loss. Your story used various details that showed expressed the emotions that were being felt. I got the chills as I read this because I can personally relate to the loss and feeling of regret to losing a father. It is very true that you never know when you're going to lose someone, but it is also important to know that there are always good friends and family that you should always feel open to talk to. Thank you for showing us the courage to share this piece with everyone, much love.
I give you major credit for having the confidence to share such a personal story. You did an amazing job with providing the reader with details. The imagery throughout the story is so well written I was imagining it in my own head as I was reading it. The message in this story is so important and relevant in everyone's life because this kind of tragedy is always possible to happen to anyone. This story caught my attention immediately, Good Job!
I am extremely sorry for your loss. I commend your courage for sharing such a personal experience. Your use of diction when describing the night sky foreshadowed the unanticipated event that had occurred. While reading, I began to feel discomfort because I have been through a similar experience. Nevertheless, this piece is well written.
Before I have anything to say, I am truly sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you and your family had to go through, and I truly admire your strength in sharing your piece to all of us. I try to live by the message you're trying to give because I don't know when I'll lose a close family member or friend, but all I could do is spend time with them as much as I can and prevent anything that'll make me regret anything. Again, thank you for sharing your story, it has a great message to it and it was full of emotion. God bless.
I just want to say that I am sincerely sorry for your loss. You are a very strong individual for sharing a story like this. Out of all the pieces I've read, yours really had moved me the most, it hit my feelings. Your choice of diction, the imagery you used, the detail in general really assisted me in picturing the whole story as if I was there. Not only that you have taught your readers a very valuable lesson in your writing. Fantastic job buddy.
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience, I admire your strength to put out a story with such personal meaning. This piece was we'll written, and organized in the manner that everything you discussed had purpose, and meaning to what you were trying to share with your audience. You instantly caught your reader attention, great job!
Sorry for your loss man. I understand that this must have been hard to write but great job at it. The piece was written perfectly in order to understand what you were going through.
Before I begin I want to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family. Your story broke my heart, but also helped me realize that life is short. The last sentence really hit deep for me because of how raw your writing was. Every minuscule detail poured into my head. The visual imagery that you used was immaculate because I have been in similar situations with my great-grandfather and the events seem almost to coincide. You did a wonderful job!
wow that was so traumatic the experience you went through. As I read I got deeper and deeper into your emotions and the events leading up to the death, that my heart was beating faster and faster until it dropped, despite me knowing what was going to occur. You did a great job with the imagery and almost gave me a heart attack so good job. P.S that was definitely not sarcasm just to let you know.
I want to start off by saying that I am truly sorry for your lost I know it must be hard. I have respect for you for being able to share this personal experience in your life. You did an excellent job with providing details and imagery that, in turn, set the heartfelt tone for this piece. Your writing caused me to reflect on my actions in my own life and how I can better them. Thank you, it was wonderful!
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation concerning my Grandfather, as I had just saw him earlier in the day. The grief is tough and dark, and you are right that you never know when you'll lose someone, and it's a frightnening truth. But it teaches us to live everyday with our loved ones and enjoy their company, to converse and even just asking how their day was. And credit to you for sharing this story with us, it had to be hard to right this. You were able to display some truth in life, and teach others what it means to lose someone, and the importance of spending as much time with your loved ones as possible. Your ability to use imagery and detail had me tearing up a bit, because I could feel the moment, I could feel your emotion, and it personally connects to me along with many others. Great job, your strength in sharing this is not overlooked.
Kyle, it's very mature of you to be able to write about a topic so close to you in such a public setting, and I respect that. I also admire a lot of the writing techniques that you utilized in your piece. The extent of detail you used throughout the piece is something very rare in amateur writers like us and are extremely effective in making your tone of regret more emphatic. One specific part of you're piece that I found interesting was the beginning of the last paragraph. At this point, I noticed a major shift In technique from literal to figurative. This figurative language at the beginning of the paragraph really pulled me into the piece even further than I was already. Thank you so much for having the strength to write about such a heavy topic and I'm very sorry for your loss. Holistically, this piece was great!
Kyle I commend you on your strength to share your story. The regretful tone, irony and foreshadowing really helps explain the tragedy and devastation of the situation. Your story has inspired me to live my life and display my affection to my loved ones so that I will have no regrets. Thank you for sharing this with us, the story was written phenomenally and has impacted me tremendously.
This is a very powerful piece. It is moving and emotional. Thank you for sharing such a personal piece. You were able to fit such raw emotion into a rather short piece. Thank you for taking this opportunity to share your experience with other sand help them understand that we only have what is with us. It teaches readers not to take anything for granted.This story was written extremely well.
This is a very powerful piece. It is moving and emotional. Thank you for sharing such a personal piece. You were able to fit such raw emotion into a rather short piece. Thank you for taking this opportunity to share your experience with other sand help them understand that we only have what is with us. It teaches readers not to take anything for granted.This story was written extremely well.
Let me begin by saying that this story was very touching and emotional and I am sorry for your loss. However, I am happy that you found a positive message of never having regrets from such a horrifying incident. A positive outlook on life is a good one to have. I enjoyed the diction and imagery you used, as it plunged me right into the story with you and experience the story as it took place, which created a big impact. Overall, great work!!
To begin with I am very sorry for your loss. You are extremely strong to be able to not only write about this but to share it with so many readers. I truly feel that not only your experience but your raw and realistic style of writing as well has reached out to me and made me appreciate the little moments in life. Thank you
Wow! This very strong with a lot of emotions that can relate to others. Nobody really thinks of anything as serious as death with someone very important to your life, by just wanting to chill with friends. I'm glad you shared this on the blog, I really salute you for this.
I envy and admire your strength to tell such a personal story. I am able to feel the emotions through this piece. The melancholy tone of your story allows for an emotional connection for the reader. Also, your use of imagery creates the scenes in my head and gives me a better understanding of your emotions at the time. This story is well written and a very emotional and moving piece. Thank you for sharing and allowing me and others to not take any moment for granted.
I envy and admire your strength to tell such a personal story. I am able to feel the emotions through this piece. The melancholy tone of your story allows for an emotional connection for the reader. Also, your use of imagery creates the scenes in my head and gives me a better understanding of your emotions at the time. This story is well written and a very emotional and moving piece. Thank you for sharing and allowing me and others to not take any moment for granted.
When I read the first paragraph, I thought it was going to be more on the light hearted side so I wasn't really expecting the ending. I really liked how moving and emotional it was. Even though we're only able to feel a small portion of what you and your family were feeling at the time, the imagery you used allowed us readers to in a way experience what you were going through and understand how you were feeling. Thank you for sharing your story
Thank you Kyle for sharing such a tragic and emotional piece. The dark imagery and lots of details in your story conveyed a melancholy and regretful tone. Your message of appreciating your loved ones and to live without regret told from your experience is very valuable and inspirational. Overall, this was a well-written piece and you did a great job telling your story.
It was very brave of you to talk about such a personal event in your life, I respect you greatly for doing that. The message behind this piece is so powerful. We often take for granted the value of life and we should learn not to. Your piece shows how precious life is and how we should savor every moment of it. You did a great job using descriptive details and imagery to show this. Great Job.
Kyle as a friend and a team mate I am sorry for your loss. I remember when i first found out about this and i couldn't imagine what you were going through. This was a very strong and powerful piece and I appreciate that you felt comfortable enough to share it because i know it is hard. There was definitely regret and sadness in this and I am so sorry. I felt the emotions in the writing and it was very well put together. Thank you again for sharing.
Im deeply sorry for your loss. This story took courage and I applaud you for being able to write it with such exceptional quality. The chronological sequence of your story contributed to the emotion of the entire story. The detail you wrote with made me feel as if I could feel the pain and angst in being at the hospital. I, too, lost my dad at a young age and didn’t get an ideal last conversation with him, so I can relate to the lesson that you learned and I completely agree. We often take for granted what we have and ignore the possibilities that can happen any moment in our lives Thank you for sharing such a personal story and important message, great job!
This is going to seem fairly cliché since it has already been said multiple times, but I truly am sorry for your loss. Though the event happened about 2 years ago, the emotions you put on to the page felt like it just happened reason. It is amazing that you had such courage and maturity to recall such a dark time in your life, and I applaud you for that. The description of that night was impeccable. Lots of detail were included that let us as the reader imagine what that night must have been like for you. Thank you for taking us through your story.
Wow. This story was heart breaking, it started off so happy and pure, then took a very unexpected turn. I'm really sorry for your loss, but I admire your strength in writing this piece, and totally agree with the message that this event taught you, because as you said, we never know when it could all be over.
My heart goes out to you and your family. However I am glad that you shared your story with us. A lot of detail was included and I totally agree with the life lesson that it taught you.
I would like to begin by saying that I am sorry for your loss. When I first started reading this I thought it had a calm, peaceful tone. The first paragraph you were just going through you day as you would any other day. Going into the second paragraph there was a shift in tone. I felt the tone was frightened then towards the end the tone changed to regret. I know it's hard to talk about a subject so personal, thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your experience and even though I have never personally experienced a family death I like to thank you for making this experience come to life and all the imagery in this made it feel like I was actually experiencing this.
To begin with, I want to say that I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I understand how difficult it must be to speak of such a life changing experience and for that you are truly a very strong individual. I enjoyed reading this piece and you made it so easy to be able to understand what you felt for the most part and how you reacted when everything took place. It really is difficult t cope with something so serious. I guess they're right when they say death is really something that you prepare for, but even when it happens, it's still really difficult.
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