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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

"Friendships" by Alejandra R




   I’ve always been told that people change with time. When I moved to California from Texas, I had always thought that I was the same, and I didn’t change at all. Every day I made efforts to talk with my friends in Texas, whether it be through texting or phone calls. I was starting school, which made me nervous, because I wasn’t sure how different schools, or the types of people were between the two states. To my suprise, Texans and Californians were almost nothing alike, Californians being more free thinkers, unlike in Texas; there was always so much of a feeling or need to conform. School went by as it always does, and I made friends. My friends in Texas would ask me constantly how school is, and what kinds of friends I had made. As just a general description, my friends in Texas were all extremely materialistic, and looking back at it, shallow.
   Two years after I had moved here, my mom decided it was time to go back and visit. Of course, I missed Texas a lot, but it wasn’t like I wasn’t getting used to California. I had friends and was already accustomed to school. I told all of my friends that I was visiting, which led to a flurry of excitement from them. We planned sleepovers, trips to the mall an hour away, hangouts at Starbucks. I remember being overjoyed that I had my old friends back, we were all together just like in elementary school and middle school.
   On the first day we hung out together, I immediately felt like an outsider. The three girls I had thought I could relate to about everything weren’t there anymore. We had all started high school, and I was the only one who didn’t go to the same school. We all ate a dinner made by my friend’s mom, in which I didn’t eat, because I wasn’t hungry. Immediately, my friends commented if I was trying to be rude, or if this was some kind of “California thing” where you don’t eat food offered to you. I shrugged their comments off, thinking it was just joking around. After we ate, we all went to my friend’s room, where they had decided to talk about what was going on at school, gossiping. I didn’t know who they were talking about, so I couldn’t participate in the conversation. All I heard was, “They’re dating?!..” “Did you hear about so-and-so?” “What was she wearing?! My blind grandma could’ve picked a better outfit than the one she was wearing!” I couldn’t relate to them anymore. Everytime I tried to enter the conversation I got, “You don’t know who we’re talking about.”. Constant judgement was being passed around.
   My friends told me I was different than before I moved. If they had told me this before we hung out, I would’ve disregarded the thought, because I had always thought I was the same, how could I change so much in two years? My friends had stayed the same, and they were right. I did change. I couldn’t relate to them, because I’m no longer the snobby, shallow minded person I was before I moved here.
The friendships we shared were ones I like to remember, but not ones I’d like to keep. I’d rather keep friends that bring positivity into my life rather than judgement. I’ve learned that in life it’s a difficult thing to let go of things that you’ve gotten used to, but if it can improve you as a person, it’s something that has to be done.

20 comments:

Unknown said...

I can relate to this, people who I thought were my true "friends" have always changed for the worse, in this life it is hard to find real people, unfortunately we're surrounded by fakes but it brings up the question if were being real to ourselves. Not real in a literal sense, but in a good sense that is not submissive to the negativity and degradations that society loves to perpetuate. Unfortunately I can say that I've had very few real friends, but the way how people will come into our lives and go from our lives shows us that our time in this world is truly limited, and we have to make the best of it by being real to ourselves, society, and God.

Unknown said...

Wow you are right we do change and it takes time for us to even realize it. Sometimes we feel we are suppose to be friends with certain people but once we experience something different our minds change. We need to surround ourselves who are positive and with people who lift us and make us want to be better people. Since you went back to Texas you were able to learn about who you have become and what you never want to be again. I am proud to see that you figured it out because it typically takes people years to figure out who they are.

Gaby Romero said...

This was such a great piece because I can definitely relate to this. You just need to surround yourself with positive people that have good hearts that aren't so mean to others. People do change throughout the years and it can be for the better maybe because they didn't like the person that they were. Going back to Texas probably made you think how rude those people are and don't want to be around them because they are just such negative people. I enjoyed this piece and it even made me think about those positive people in my life and I am thankful that they are such great people.

Unknown said...

This story is very relatable because the same thing happened to me recently. I enjoyed this piece a lot because of how much i was able to relate to it, and your right we do change and don't realize it but majority of the time we change into better people and some friends you have to let go, and keep the ones who support you and your decisions instead of ones with judgements, as you learned when you went to Texas. My favorite part of your story was when you learned to let go, and thats the most important thing of all. amazing job!

Frida Velazquez said...

What a lovely story! I loved how you added dialogue to create a precise point of view of your story and you made the reader actually hear the horrible remarks of the mean friends. People change to be a part of something that is shallow and empty minded and its not worth it. The people that stay true to themselves are the best people. Great use of tone throughout the whole story! One of my favorites for September!

Anonymous said...

I liked the image you portrayed in the story. We really change to adapt to our surroundings and our friends, and looking back on all of that, we can be really different from then to who we are now, and your story really focuses on that idea. The way you looked back and saw how much you've grown is amazing as well because many people can relate. Great story.

Darlene Castro said...

What I love about this piece is the honesty behind it. People do change most times for the better, but at times for the worst. You were direct about your opinions about your old friends and your younger self. That helped show growth and convey the overall message beautifully and in a way that impacted readers.

Unknown said...

I liked the theme in the story that people change and sometimes for the better. I am surprised that your friends from Texas were materialistic; that was interesting to me. We change all of the time, yet we don't even notice it. Some of my friendships of many years ended recently, but know that when one door closes, another one opens.

Unknown said...

I honestly love this story so much. I can relate to this story because it shows that not always do people change but that friendships do come and go. I like the way you made it seem that Californians are just more go with the flow and everything. I was surprised reading that your Texas friends thought you were becoming different, but it just shows that you've matured more.

Kailee Ney said...

I can relate to this story so much because I also moved here from Texas! I enjoyed the fact that you made a point in the story to realize you're better than that to just have a friendship based off of gossip. I feel like this is a very relatable topic in our age group because friendships are constantly being broken and fading away. This was a great topic, good job!

Unknown said...

First off I just wanted to start off and say how cool it is that we both a topic on Friendship and how we both basically had the same idea in both. I really like how you was able to actually put this into first person. I wasn't able to do this myself so I'm glad you found a way too. I completely agree and relate to everything you said in this story(Besides being from Texas).

Anonymous said...

Almost of us relate to this, especially teenagers, like us. We will likely change friends and that's not a bad thing. A lot of people change a lot in their teens and early adult years. If a friend is no longer a positive influence in your life, then it's likely time for a change. It's hard when you have known someone for such a long time, but you would do well to move forward rather than hanging onto someone who sounds like they will be a negative influence in your life. Hope your friends will grow out of it, but I do not recommend riding the waves with someone whom you do not relate with and enjoy to be with.

Christofer G. said...

I think it is safe to say that most, if not all of us, have had this experience before. Maybe not so much the moving states part, though. How strange is it that people we used to be so close with, people who we would always hang out with, can change so much. They change into people we never saw them being, and with that change of personality, a change on friendship occurs. We may lose our old friends, but it is important that we make new ones: ones that make us happy and show us that life is great. Friends that bring a positive vibe into our lives are the friends we should keep. They're the only ones worth keeping. Great job on this piece

Anonymous said...

Everything will not always be what it seems. Bonds between friends can be broken and new ones can be made. It is usually difficult to differentiate from someone who is your true friend and someone who is not, especially since we were young because all we would do is make fun of others in our own group. But as life progresses, we learn to mature and we learn to break our bonds with those people. And so because of that I've learnt about who my true friends are. Knowing that my true friend is someone I can talk business with, family with, fight with, cry with, and laugh with.

Unknown said...

I ask myself if I've changed, constantly, too. I know I have and it's really obvious to me. It's really hard to distance yourself from toxic people because you know for a fact, you'll miss them. I think it's a brave and strong thing to do. I really like how the ending turned out. I liked your story overall!

Unknown said...

I feel as teenagers, most of us has experienced some sort of this situation. I was really able to fully relate to this story as I moved from Arizona to California and the culture and people were so different. I agree California is full of diversity and free thinkers and in comparison the standards in the area I lived in when I was Arizona was based upon wealth and gossip and that was really the norm there that any teen could own a pair of $200 shoes. I think you were able to portray that overall message to find the true friends worth keeping.

Regine M. said...

It's cool that you got the chance to look back at yourself and realize you've changed for the better. A lot of people don't get the opportunity I think, because they surround themselves in the same environment they've grown up in. This isn't necessarily the case for everyone, but I think it is for a lot of people, probably myself included. I hope those girls get a chance to realize they're disagreeable people before they grow up to become even bigger materialistic snobs.

Em Aguilar said...

Some people reject the change in others and even neglect or fear change within their own lives. I believe that in order to become better versions of ourselves we must be open and live at peace with the idea that new experiences will come, whether we want them or not. I respect that you did not direct any negativity towards these people you no longer identified with but rather made peace with the idea that they will stay as part of your memory but not as part of your present. We must remember that change forms us as beings and I think you shared an experience that could open another persons eyes to make a change for the better in their own life.

Ruben R said...

Sadly most friends in your life are temporary and are a part of a cycle in high school life. I have realized this and cut off friendships because I realized there's no point of stooping down to their level to fit in, there's a friend out there for everybody. I'm glad moving to California gave you a new perspective and you didn't end up like those classic snobby high school girls.

Kyle millsap said...

I saw myself in this story because I have to have had friends change on me, but that's not the reason why it hurt. It hurt because I changed too and it wasn't for the better this was a wonderful read! Great job!