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Monday, September 28, 2015
"The Face" by Dylan M
It all started on Halloween ive always hated Halloween I mean im 12 but yet it seems so childish. I never dress up so my mom told me to go to the store and get more candy for the kids who dress up. As I was walking there the neighborhood bully said “nice mask” I screamed back in anger its not a mask its my face! I ran home crying and as usual my mom asked where the candy was but before I ran upstairs so fast to my room before she could finish. Once I was done crying I made up my mind I knew what I had to do so I went to the bathroom and cut off my face. As I finished my mom came in and feinted from my face off where it should be. I put on a mask and that was my new face. My mom eventually woke up and saw me in a mask and was happy that I got into the spirit of Halloween. The next day at school I went and in my first class the teacher scolded me and told me to take the mask off and I replied that how do I take off my face? My teacher got so mad that I got sent to see the principle and I was asked to take off the mask I told him its my face but then he took it off me and threw up and almost feinted from seeing my utterly gross face. I was sent back to class and he made the teacher apologize for calling my face a mask at first she argued then she said ok fine. My life was going great with my new face the neighborhood bully came to me one day and said nice mask then he took it off and he got a huge surprise he was so disgusted by my face he stopped bullying and went to church. My face started to help people not just me others too they all thought I was their savior I became famous and people started to worship me so I became the president at the age of 12.
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26 comments:
wow... This story started off really dark like when you cut off your face so I thought I was in for a twisted horror story... but man I was wrong this story was really funny and it made me smile like when you typed "I was sent back to class and he made the teacher apologize for calling my face a mask at first she argued then she said ok fine." that made me laugh and when you became the president. funny story
-Eric Edwards
wow... this story started off as a dark horror story and that's were I thought it was going but... man was I wrong this was funny in a weird way like when you typed "I was sent back to class and he made the teacher apologize for calling my face a mask at first she argued then she said ok fine. "that was funny and when you became president at 12. funny story
-Eric Edwards
WELL THEN... this went totally unexpected .... this went 0 to 100 really quick, but i enjoyed it, it made me laugh so much towards the end. Became president at the age of 12 :) guts!
Ashley Garcia
Per.4
I think the story was awsome because you stopped the bully. And how you became the president at age 12. That is the first story that i have read that has a young president to me when i see stories with children as president makes me fill like you can accomplish anything you want. So to me just because the president was 12 shouldn't shock people they should be glad because that just means you accomplished what you were going for in life. SO GREAT STORY.
MKAYLA SEALS
Per. 4
Oh my gosh.So many points were brought up in this piece. The theme of bulling, self conscious, and success. The ending was a little sudden,i would of loved to see more on the development leading up to becoming president. Other then that i loved how the story progressed in the beginning.
-Jane Duran
period 5
This story was very interesting and unexpected. I felt bad for the kid who had to suffer for his childhood. Things are sometimes are for the better and look he became the president at 12. To me I would have felt accomplished of myself. Revels your story was amazing and hope to see more of your work.
Wow this is a great story. As the story began i felt bad for the little kid. But as the story continued I began to see how him wearing a mask helped so many. Also how it made him feel better to. His story reminded of me of when I was young and how all the good deeds i did should allow me to get like a noble peace prize or becoming a mayor.
Evanne Turner
Period 1
cogswell
Well...that escalated quickly. I would've never imagined that a 12-year old had that dark of a mind and yet become the youngest president. I just love how the mom is just being delusional and not even caring that her child has no face.
This story is dark at first but in the end it became a comedy i also think that bully got what he deserved in the end. Great story!
Johnny Delacruz
Per1
That was a great story and had such great meaning behind it. That bully got what he deserved and i'm glad he decided to go to church. I love how it became so serious than all of a sudden you were laughing. Great job!
I am absolutely speechless!!! This was such a good story to read and i enjoyed it very much. I especially love the meaning behind the story and overall it was just so good! Keep up the amazing work i would love to read more~Julianna Alvarado period 1
Well damn that escalated quickly. I found it hilarious at the end when you said "My face started to help people not just me others too they all thought I was their savior I became famous and people started to worship me so I became the president at the age of 12." I started dying of laughter my mom thought i was crazy.
Well... that was interesting... it was funny and sounded like a crazy horror story at the beginning then you finished it off with a crasy idea... good job.
-Braden Bailey
I applaud you for your ability to mesh such drastically different ideas together. Though it was a bit horrifying initially (both from the rejection and the concept of literal facelessness), you supplied a wonderful turn of events and quick shift of tone.
This story started off great. I then started to get lost with his real face and the mask. This story is kind of sad and at the end it was really unbelievable. I did not like this story and could not decide if this story was sensitive to someone's feelings or mean
M. Baptiste
Cogswell Period 1
I thought this story was really cute but empowering in a weird way. Who gets so upset with a bully that they cut their face off? But I like how you made the person overcome their pain and make something good come out of it. Good job!
Dominique Washington
Period 2
I really liked that is was about Halloween because its my favorite time of year.I also liked the intro off the story it relates to me and my mom.I also loved how u ended your story.
This story started off pretty sad but once you got to the end, it all turned out well for the boy. His crazy decision to cut off his face ended up being a good idea haha.
Period 4
this story was confusing because of how he cut his face off becuase a bully made fun of him, but anyway it was a good story
Michelle Truong
Per 1.
This story was very creative and interesting to read. I liked how strange it was and it was definitely original. I got a little confused at some parts, overall it was a cool story. I also like how your story emphasized how people don't get accepted and how criticized. It was a little sad but your message I think was great!!! :)
I really enjoyed the shifts in the mood of the story. How it first starts off sort of dark and it changes to almost a comedic sort of tone to it as well. The end made me laugh and overall I really enjoyed it. :D
This was a very interesting piece to say the least. I re-read the story a couple of times and it was quite comical nature and the twisted sense of humor was very captivating. It was also very deep, where a "mask" can reveal a lot about a person if removed.
I was surprised at the end where the kid becomes president. This was a good story. I liked how the kid stood up to the bully even though it still hurt him. The way he resolved the conflict was very weird but that made it even more interesting.
-Valarie Ly
Period 1
wow uhh... good story i guess. I thought that it was gonna be a scary story but I guess not. A little creativity is needed. The character should have more confidence.
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