When I was little, I believed in everything
that movies portrayed was what being a grown up would be like. If you really
kissed a frog, he would turn into your prince charming and you would live
happily ever after together. My six year old self only thought the worst pain
you could ever feel would be scrapping your elbows. I expect that falling in
love would be like the movies.
But
I know now, we measure time by the people that come into our lives and leave
just as fast. And the thought of love was like the galaxies, even in the
darkest spots there are stars you just havent given them enough time.
And
you once told me that I wouldn't be able to fall in love with you because the
heart was more of a home and yours has been vacant for too long. I couldn't
stand how you thought about yourself. I saw you as the sun but you could only
see the darkness and if I could crack open your skull and use magic fairy dust
to cover the sadness then maybe we could avoid reality for a day or two.
You
were gone after that. I dont know what happened but you left a note that said “I'll
come back when the space you took in my heart is to over powering and then I'll
know what love is like. But if it takes me until were 102, i'll call you up and
we'll sit in our pajamas and talk about that guy that took too long to love
you.''
But
you never made it to 102 or maybe you never even made it past 32.
20 comments:
Megan, when I first read this I thought it was going to be a love story in a movie. However, I liked how you compared the love to galaxies, I would have never thought about it like that; that there are other "stars" in the "darkness" and we just have to wait for those "stars". Your piece made me feel some type of way, you used pathos to make me relate to something similar to this. I'm curious, why did you put "or maybe you never even made it past 32"?
-Miren Cancio Per. 5
I think this is my favorite piece that I've read so far. Its so eloquently strung together i honestly wish there was more to read. It was short and sweet but it left a mark and that's not an easy thing to do in such few words. You're an amazing writer Megan and i never realized how honest your writing was or could be. Even the last line in itself hits you leaving a lasting impression. I hope you continue writing because i'll be here to keep reading :)
I remember reading this in class and I still stand by my comment when I said that this is the greatest thing I've ever read. Its not like this came from an over edited book or a well known writer or philosopher.This is just a way to remind us that we can never be fulfilled especially when it comes to love. This piece left me thinking about what the mass media does to us and how its macro level power can have such an effect on the individuals in the micro level.
-Jane Duran p.5
The title captured my heart, I thought it was going to be a simple love story of some sort. Yet it wasn't, it amazed me how you pretty much summed up love is overrated in my own point of view. I also loved how you compared love to the galaxy and how when we are younger we believe all the fairy tales. It was simply beautiful and I wish their was more to read!
-Destynee Torres Period 4
The title is what really caught my attention- good choice in the title by the way. I like how the simile you used which was comparing love to the galaxies was able to relate to the whole post. I enjoyed the rhyming scheme, it really drew me in even more. I especially adored the ending, a little tragic but at the same time romantic. Overall this is one of my favorite posts by far !
-Alicia A.
Period 5 cogswell
It's short and sweet, well as sweet as love can get, just like a love letter. At first, i thought that it was going to be a love story because of the title and how the beginning played out. You did a nice job with utilizing situational irony in here. It was cute, and i liked how it flowed like a story you can tell a child, with the exception of the ending which is what gives it a mature sense to it than an actual child's tale.
Megan, the title immediately caught my attention (great choice by the way). As I began to read this I immediately thought that this was going to be a romantic and sweet story; I'm glad that it wasn't. I appreciate that you didn't stick to cliché love story; you made it your own, thank you for this.
Emily Gonzalez
per. 2
this is a good story it reminds us how short life is and that we should cherish our loved ones I liked how you used the galaxy as a simile
-Eric Edwards
I can't even begin to express my adoration for this. I honestly loved it so much.The similes and the metaphors were so wonderfully constructed and beautifully composed. I especially liked the way you used them to describe the man's heart. The story was also nicely set up and flowed smoothly from one idea to the next. Naturally, I couldn't wait to read every line of the story! Thank you for such a wonderful piece!
Fiona Cheung
Period 3
This is an amazing story!!! I love how its relatible with reality. How all young girls thought that at age six. And we all grew up to face the reality of life.
Karina Blocker
Period 4
Wow! I really enjoyed this piece because I like how you explained what your perspective of love was like. I could relate to your piece because when I was little , I thought life was exactly how it was portrayed in the movies as well so the way you made your work connect to your audience was great. You also do a good job of reflecting on your childhood and showing how much you have changed since then. You showed how much you matured over time and to me that was cool.
Dominique Washington
Period 2
I really enjoyed this love story. The way you compared the galaxies to love was inputted nicely and in a way that was beautiful yet sad. Although I felt this was a typical love story- heartbreak, yearning, sadness, and frustration- there was something unique about your piece. I felt the frustration and sadness, and envisioned beauty in what you were writing about. I also liked the ending with the optimistic feel you gave.
The insight and truth you gave of six year olds living in fairy tales to grow up and face harsh reality was also an element that I adored.
The way you tied the beauty of the stars and love in this piece stole my heart.
Wow this story is very deep and i really like how you talk about being stuck in that "6 year old self" because I also thought everything in life would be like a fairytale, but sadly thats not how it is. The way you used the galaxy as a comparison is very deep and shows your creativity! Thank you for such a deep post that we can all relate to! - Salman Ansari
This is a great story. I really enjoyed how you were able to relate galaxies to love. I personally found this story really easy to relate to. Your use of the five senses are really the key to the relatability of your piece. Lastly, I really loved how you indirectly shared a little something about yourself to the audience.
Kayla Weathers
period 5
I think this piece is really great. It evokes pathos in the reader. Love is one of the very few topics than can evoke an emotion from almost anybody. Great job!
This story was very deep and i was able to make a connection with it from the fact that we do overlook the good things in life and most of us are usually overly impacted by the negatives. I made predictions on how your piece would finish but all were wrong in that i believed you would write more on the vulnerability of children but we are now more vulnerable as a teenagers.
I really enjoyed this piece it captured the harsh reality of growing up. Along with a common outcome of falling for someone
-Christian Ortega
Prd.5
I really enjoyed this piece it captured the harsh reality of growing up. Along with a common outcome of falling for someone
-Christian Ortega
Prd.5
I loved this piece because it started somewhere that you didn't expect it to end. It was beautifully constructed :)
Per. 5
Priscilla Perry
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