I woke up to the sound of electric
buzzing. I try to sit up but my arms and legs are strapped down to a bed. I turn my head to find
myself in a compact room, surrounded by four white walls and a single white
framed mirror. I don't remember how I got here but I know who took me; I know
I’m not alone.
They’ve been kidnapping humans from
the moment they arrived. When they first
invaded, madness and terror filled the streets. We didn't know who they were or why they came;
we still don't know. Then, people started disappearing: neighbors, friends,
pets, no where to be found. The terror hadn't hit my town until my best friend Ally
didn't show up for school. I just thought she was sick and would call me later
to tell me so. Ally didn't call me that day nor will she ever. I went to her
house after school, knocked on the door and her mom appered. Her eyes swollen
and raw told me what I was dreading. That's when I knew she was gone, I would
never see my best friend again.
The door swings open and a women,
with skin like snow and an empty pair of blue eyes, comes to my side and stares
down at me. “Hello Harper. My name is Capella and you’re probably curious to why
you are here”. I look up at her and I’m baffled to see how human they look on
the outside; they could blend in a crowd. However, the stiffness of her body,
her flawless features and the emotionless
tone of her voice reveals to me that they are nothing like us. “ You can ask
yourself that same question, why did you come to earth?” I respond. “I will
answer all your questions, but before I begin, let's un-strap you from this
bed” as she removes the straps and I begin to sit up she says, “I apologize for
restraining you. You fought our authorities and we weren't certain how you
would react when you woke up”. I stare at her as I get up from the bed and she
takes a step back.
“To answer your question I will
start from the beginning. My species originated from the Andromeda Galaxy; the
closest neighbor to the Milky W-”, “Skip the beginning! Now answer my question.
Why did your kind come to my planet?” Silence. “Tell me!” I yell. “Okay!”
Capella says as she throws her hands up in frustration. “I will explain
everything, now please sit back down or I might have to restrain you again”. I
sat back down on the bed and Capella begins to explain.
“We came to your planet to fix it.
Humans have mistreated Earth’s resources for centuries and destroying the planet without even knowing it. We made it our mission
to restore Earth to its original glory. “I understand that Earth is deteriorating but how does fixing the Earth involve
kidnapping humans?” “Please don’t take offense to this but in order to restore
Earth we must eliminate the problem;
humanity. The human species must be terminated or else Earth will cease to exist.”
In outrage I say “ You can't do this, this is genocide! Killing off humans won't
solve anything! If you give us a chance we can fix the Earth’s problems.” “ No,
humans are like pesticides, everything you touch dies; besides, we aren't
“killing” humans, we are merely erasing the human inside. Your bodies will
remain the same and living, however your memories and the characteristics that
make you your own person will be gone. The human species is not ending but starting
and continuing a new meaning and awareness of humans survival on Earth. We
haven't solved the method of enacting a world wide deletion of humanity, so we’ve
resulted in plucking you off one by one,
like a flower.” Capella walks over to the mirror, “She is ready for reset” she
orders to whom ever is behind the mirror. Before Capella leaves she says, “Once
the process is completed you won't remember anything, not even your name. You
will be relocated to a new city and to a new family. Goodbye, Harper.” With
that, Capella is gone.
I can no longer feel my body, it’s
gone completely numb, I can only hear my thoughts as they strap me back down to
the bed. I don't resist because there is no fight left in me anymore. In my last
thoughts as Harper I say goodbye to my parents, my childhood memories, and I
say goodbye to Harper Genesis Taylor and then, I let go.
“Hello Lauren.”
68 comments:
Emily I loved your story, it was very interesting. I enjoy stories that are in first person because it allows me to get into the story more. You used the senses in a very good way to keep the reader interested. The dialogue was also very cool and eventually gave the reader an opportunity to develop their feelings about a character. Hope you write more like this!
Jazlynn G
period 2
This story was okay...maybe you could of made Harper fight the aliens or watever was it that reseted her whole life/personality.You should of made Harper a hero in order to save the human race,so that way people can stay with their families.but other than that good job.
Marco Garcia Ordaz
Period-4
I liked this piece. Its different from other stories. There was no chance to save the world from the aliens. The story started the way it ended, with the human race replaced, with no hope of a rebellion or anything. And you were still able to make a really enjoyable story. Good Job.
Michael Retana
Period 1
I really enjoyed this short story, there was some suspense and I liked it. The dialogue between Harper and Capella was interesting and I enjoyed the whole plot of it. By the end I do understand why Harper didn't fight back.Great piece!
Ashley Garcia
Per.4
I loved this story. It was very intriguing. As soon as I started to read I was already interested. The creativity and imagination was great! Great short story!
I really enjoyed this fictional piece about aliens kidnapping humans and their revealing purpose. I thought the opening paragraph helped make this story stronger as it built suspense and also liked how the ending was because the "Hello Lauren" makes it seem like it is just about to begin and made a great cliffhanger.
P.5
I really enjoyed this fictional piece about aliens kidnapping humans and their revealing purpose. I thought the opening paragraph helped make this story stronger as it built suspense and also liked how the ending was because the "Hello Lauren" makes it seem like it is just about to begin and made a great cliffhanger.
P.5
I personally loved where you were going with this piece. I love this sci-fi genre, there are not a lot of stories out there that are science fiction and I personally think that this specific style of genre is pretty difficult to write for. I do like that situational irony because at one point while reading , I did think that Harper would fight back and was quite surprised in the end when she didn't. Normally as a natural human instinct we have that fight or flight program, but she didn't do any of these and just accepted her fate.
This story captured my attention in more ways than one. your descriptions of Capella gave me such vivid imagery as a reader. The dialogue between these two characters is direct and evasive at the same time. The consistent tone of foreboding and anxious qualities also does a great job at developing the characters even more in such a short piece.
Jordyn France
per 3
Cogswell
This story captured my attention in more ways than one. your descriptions of Capella gave me such vivid imagery as a reader. The dialogue between these two characters is direct and evasive at the same time. The consistent tone of foreboding and anxious qualities also does a great job at developing the characters even more in such a short piece.
Jordyn France
per 3
Cogswell
Wow, great story, I enjoy many stoties that have that eerie feeling. You definitely put a lot of creativity and thought into this, wonderful job.
Ricky Martin
Period 4
Cogswell
First I just want to say I really love this story!!!!!!!!!! It has great detail and your use of imagery is amazing. It was like a movie and I could really see everything that was going on. I'm really at a loss of words though, it was sssooooooo amazing!!!!!!
I really enjoyed your story because it has a lot of creativity and you made it really detailed it would be cool if you would of added like a flashback of the aliens and how it was when they were on earth that would been cool too :)
zya woody
period 4
cogswell
This story instantly grabs your attention! And the detail you evolved with the way she felt and described the other people was amazing! IT made the readers feel like they where in her position! Amazing story!!!!
Karina Blocker
Period 4
Cogswell
I really enjoyed this Emily, it was like a short story about creatures from another planet. I loved the backstory and the fact it had so much detail put in it. It's one of those stories that I picture myself in.
This writing was really different. I liked how it showed how Harper wanted to know why this was happening to her kind. Maybe there could have been more action like her fighting the aliens. This story reminds me a lot of a movie I watched. I also liked how Harper had a lot of fight in her until she gave up and let them take over.
Evanne Turner
Period 1
cogswell
Wow What a great story. I honestly did not expect the ending at all. I like how you went for something more different and more unique which made this story a lot more interesting. I also absolutely loved the background information you included; It was very well detailed and quite suspenseful. I was intrigued from the beginning to the end. You did an amazing job.
Wow What a great story. I honestly did not expect the ending at all. I like how you went for something more different and more unique which made this story a lot more interesting. I also absolutely loved the background information you included; It was very well detailed and quite suspenseful. I was intrigued from the beginning to the end. You did an amazing job.
Well structured. This really draws the reader in!
Well structured. This really draws the reader in!
Man, that was really an amazing piece. The ending really was so unpredictable i thought i read a different story. Besides that, the amount of thought, creativity, and detail you put into your characters really made me feel that i knew them. Even the suspense kept me up on my seat to read what was coming next. Overall that was a terrific story, from the start to the finish
This story draws my attention because its fictional and I enjoy reading those types of stories. The ending really surprised me and caught me off guard, it kept me entertained and interested!
Since the first few lines of the piece, you instantly kept my attention. The fresh ideas and beautifully placed imagery created a overall well written story which allowed readers to use their imagination. I overall loved the whole story and was definitely impressed with the level of control and maturity which was carried throughout the poem.
-Elise Burgos per.2
This was a very captivating piece. I really liked the way you made it into a dystopian society and how it all flowed very well. The use of detail was just enough for the reader to make a picture in their head and I really liked how Harper progressed through the story and went from fighting and arguing to giving up and accepting the situation because it provokes a sense of desperation that she is experiencing and also adds to the overall tone of the piece. All in all i wanted to keep reading to find out what happened next. Awesome story! :)
Good job on your story i liked how you explained her life before the aliens came and i also liked your cliff hanger as well. Very good story it was intriguing and suspenseful.
Johnny Delacruz
Per 1
Really good story! I like the ending and how you leave the reading wondering what was going to happen next. It really added to the story.
-Noah Andrus Period 5
This story is so interesting! i love how you didn't write about her fighting back, people wouldn't normally do that. The ending surprised me so much, it makes you want to know whats going to happen next.
- Valarie Ly
Period 1
That was amazing normally stories with aliens i think aren't interesting, but yours was. you had aliens taking away humans because we've been hurting the earth [which is true] so they come strip each human of their memory and move on to another also adding in the fact that u made one of the humans stripped of their memory the nurse basically telling the main character what is in store for her. Hope you make another maybe going through the life of "Lauren" as an alien.
Very interesting story! I liked how you showed her emotions and thoughts throughout that whole altercation with that strange lady. You should maybe write about Lauren next.
WOW! This was an amazing piece Emily, it was well written, unique and I love every part of it, from beginning to end. The use of details, dialogue, and imagery made the story very easy to understand. I loved how you used this type of plot to convey the message. It was truly amazing. Well done Emily! I hope you continue this story one day with Harper living as "Lauren".
Daveena San
Period 2
WOW! I love how you left it a cliff hanger leaving us wanting more overall it was a very good short story :)
I loved it!!!! And i could really say that i loved it! i could not stop reading. It was so well written and i love the whole theme and the whole plot of the story. It seemed to be almost a movie that i could not remove my eyes from! I love the twist at the end. And i want to learn more about lauren! I hope to read it soon!
Quite an interesting story. I appreciate you not choosing the typical conclusion of "the heroic rescue of the human race by one girl/guy" which is really overused. The piece gets you thinking of how we've treated the Earth so far, and how to fix it now in its current state.
What an amazingly written story! It really caught me off guard when the turning point happened where the alien race state that they aren't committing genocide but instead plan to fix the humans to function differently. That was an enthralling dark message! Definitely a great short story for those who love dark themes!
It was a great story. The thought of aliens taking over the world was really interesting. Good job!
-Michael D
Period 5
I truly enjoyed this short story and can really see it being turned into a science fiction movie. The imagery was extremely vivid to the point where I felt that I was actually there. I also enjoyed how the last line leaves you thinking of what happened to her after she "died". Overall great job!
Taylor Sandoval
Cogswell p. 5
WOW! I loved that story! From the very first line you had my attention and the story didn't disappoint. Most alien invasion stories talk about either a mass genocide or mass relocation, but your take on invasion is brilliant.
Emily I loved your use of imagery in this piece! especially because of how much i know w your into reading these types of stories. Over all I enjoyed that you made this story your own. Thats the great thing about this assignment we can make up something original.
Alexa Ayala
Period: 2
Fantastic! I adore how there was no resolution to this! No saving grace or negotiability, the human race is doomed, the feeling of hopelessness, which I did feel but loosely, and the ultimate "death" of a human being. I love this concept of "death" rather than a cliche organ harvest, brain dissection or anything like that, you created something refreshing, yet dull, IN A GOOD WAY, like I can almost imagine what it would be like! Will the world truly be "saved" and what are their "lives" after a Reset? I love it! Great work!
Emily oh my goodness! Let me first say that your title caught my attention but never did I expect this kind of story to blossom from it! I loved your use of dialogue in the piece. You also had clear descriptions and details about the characters surroundings and memories. I adored the way you ended your piece- "Hello Lauren"- it made me ponder what would become of this character. The story was a bit creepy as in the visitors trying to start a new kind of human race by erasing human qualities from people, but it was very intriguing and I really enjoyed it.
Wow!!! Emily that was a fantastic story, and I like all your details that support your main idea. Also, I liked on how you closed up your story and your thesis statement was amazing.
You did an outstanding job on this piece and it was very interesting. I loved how you got straight into the action at the beginning where Harper was strapped to the bed, not just introducing us to her. Also, I liked how you used detailed adjectives to describe the story as it went along. It made the story way much better. It was a good idea for leaving the story at a cliff hanger because it will make your readers question what happens next. It would be great if you make a second story where you write about what happens next for "Lauren". You are a very talented writer, keep it up.
Jessie Santos
-Period 1 Cogswell
Holy mother of pearl this story was incredible. This story sounds so much like an intro to a novel in which the protagonist suddenly gains powers and helps save the world. Overall, I would rate it 10/10.
I don't know if I like this story. I am not into aliens much and I don't really know if I could believe the story. It makes you think if aliens could possibly make the world better or scarey I thought is was an interesting and funny story.
M Baptiste
Cogswell period 1
This story wasn't all the same alien vs Human. It was is different then how everything usually is how the character is about to die then dosent because someone comes and saves them. And Harper faces death head on not cowardly.
Karina Blocker
Period 4
I really liked this story. I liked the intro off the story.When i was reading I was already interested. The thought and imagination was really good in the story Great story!
Reply
I really enjoyed your story, it had me in suspense the whole time! I also like the theme of aliens vs. humans. Great job. (:
Savannah Reyes
Period 4
The description and imagery of this piece was amazing and this piece entirely was incredibly intense and interesting! I couldn't stop reading. Great job Emily!
This short story is amazing in many ways! The dialogue of both the alien and Harper were outstanding! Both of them use certain diction and syntax to express their feelings, the Alien was cool and calm unlike Harper who was raving and screaming at her. It almost made the human seem like the antagonist. Also the way you switched around the roles of the two characters was great. You made the aliens seem like good people while the humans look dreary.
-Cristopher Orellana
Period 5
That was a good story but at the ending it was sad how she couldn't remember anything, since all of her memories are gone.
Michelle Truong
Period 1
This piece was well-written and it caught my attention from the start.The use of dialogue really added to the significance of the whole piece itself. The feelings expressed as well as the syntax gave the reader more of a reason to stay interested in the story. GREAT JOB!
-Rodrick Hill
Period 2
Emily I loved your story!!! It really was an attention grabber. Usually I'm not very interested in stories because I always get lost in them, but you kept it to the point. Everything was so in detail and it wasn't a common story. Many have situations like yours but you made yours unique, I liked that. Great job with your story!!
-Calaya, Period 1, Cogswell
I really enjoyed this short story! I liked how there was a sense of anticipation for the main character to resist the authority (aliens), but then you made it into a twisted plot line and made the main character end up complying with her enemies. Also, I enjoyed the sensory imagery and how you ended the story with a simple, “Hello Lauren.” That ending created a feeling of “What’s going to happen to Lauren?” and it just makes you want more from the story after you left this cliff hanger. Anyway, that was a great piece and I hope you can keep up the good work!
Kimberly Chua
Period 2
Intriguing story Emily! This story captivated my attention especially with your use of details which made this story seem real to me. Overall this piece was written in a genuine manner which caused me to never lose interest while reading.
This story was definitely an interesting story. I love the dramatic and tragic effect you put in it. The characters were put together very nicely. It had a lot of detail and I really enjoyed it. You did a great job!!!! :)
I loved it!! Very creative, and I would love to hear about what her life is like after her mind was erased.
Mackenzie Tipple
per 4
Great story! Rather than an a story about Aliens vs Humans which it certainly is, i took this as more a look at humanity using the aliens as a driving force. You take a look at the earth not as a resource but a living being. If we take a step back we can see that we are slowly destroying the earth through pollution and deforestation and we are to worried about the present to look at the future only recently have governments and other been switching to more clean and renewable resources. You also look at what it means to be "human". What makes us human the fact that we are the species human or that we are conscious and can think. And brings up the question if we lose that "human side" are we still human. Long story short I like the story and how it brought up current problems and questions.
-Marvin Virola
Period 5
great story! i loved and how it had that science background and how it talked about the "humans" really love the creativity in it and really had me reread to fully understand and realized how good it was.
-david rodriguez
period 5
The overall idea of the story is extremely intriguing and imaginative! In my opinion, this plot has the potential to expand into a full fledged novel! Great job overall in constructing realistic dialogue between conversationalists and using different viewpoints to create a complex problem. This story is very well written overall and I am very much compelled with the idea of humans being "eliminated" to save the planet. Good work!
Christian Zaldivar P.3
Emily,
This short story attracts attention from beginning to end, hooking its readers onto every word. From the first sentence, I was instantly pondering the scenario which would play out. This continued on until the very last words, "Hello Lauren," which left me with chills. The science fiction aspects of the story were wonderful, bringing me to another world, and allowing me to ponder "what if," as science often does. Furthermore, you've effectively tied in real world conflicts, particularly the deterioration of our planet, bringing the importance of the matter by dragging it to an extreme. Personally, as one who constantly worries for the state of our environment, this particularly impressed me. You're a wonderful writer and reading your piece was very enjoyable, keep it up!
Danelle Baronia
Period 2
I really liked your short story , but I feel like you didn't expand enough upon the plot and the story . I feel like you could have used a lot more imaginary or appeal to our senses to develop you story more . You want your reader to experience your story not just read it .
I really like this story, it is a really an interesting piece and I like the part when Harper said that that's gonna be his last day as Harper and just give me the chills and I really like moral of the story.
I really like this story, it is a really an interesting piece and I like the part when Harper said that that's going to be his last day as Harper and just give me the chills and I really like moral of the story.
Per:4
Rhema Kemas
I loved your story Emily!! The fictional aspect added to a more adventurous tone. The moral of the story is what I liked the most. I appreciate how thoughtful you are.
Per. 5
Priscilla Perry
It sounds like a good movie plot. You described the character's eyes well. I liked it.
Jace Andersen
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