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Monday, April 13, 2015

"Autocannibalism" by Mika O.

 Three forks, now I just need to get the placement right. The small fish fork goes to the left of the dinner fork, and the dinner fork goes to the right of the small salad fork. All of this will go on the right of the plate and the knife arrangement will go on the left. Dear god, if I don’t set my knives the right way again I’ll die of shame; placement is everything.

It’s beautiful: the table, the plating, the way the knives add the slightest bit of danger to the scene, everything. Should I open the window blinds for a soft, natural lighting? Or should I bring the studio lights in and dark out the rest of the room for a harsh, dramatic effect? A delicate, window lighting would be more artistic but studio lights would be blunt, I choose the latter: a dramatic setting for a bold statement, I love it.

Six o’clock, right on the dot. The Opioid should be in full effect right now, but I’ll check before I begin, as planned. A small slice between my fingers will do it. And… nothing, I feel nothing. What can I expect from the dosage I took anyways, it should’ve been enough to kill me. Though I’d like to say that there’s now a pinching feeling between my ring and middle finger, it’s probably just all in my head. Maybe I should have taken a cue from “The Survivor Type” and used cocaine instead, I laugh at this idea.

I can finally begin. A new film roll is loaded into the camera and set down on the granite countertop next to an empty wine glass and a tray of ice. My fingers glide down an arrangement of knives that aren’t photo worthy, feeling the steel of each santoku blade before I find the one I had sharpened the night before. Deep breaths, I can feel my heart pounding despite my complete self-assurance in this decision. I sit in the chair placed in front of my counter and rub my hand up and down the top of my thigh, feeling exactly what needs to be removed to avoid blood loss too quickly. I grab the knife and hold it an angle mid thigh, my grip is firm. One piece is all I need. I take one last moment to envision exactly how I want the slab to be plated, red meat up, next to a wine glass of crimson fluid; the color will show up tastefully on camera. I’m ready. I watch as if someone else’s hand pushes down on the blade, and as it begins to force it’s way under my skin I hope to myself that it will taste as good as it’s going to look.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your story and the way your write is really nice! Keep writing !

imalla ramirez
period 6

Unknown said...

ohhh ok i was really confused at first until I reached the end. But it wasn't a bad confused it was good , i was wondering why this person wanted everything to be picture perfect. Great job this story is really cool and its something would have never thought of writing in a million years. I also like how your title significantly matches your story line.

Anonymous said...

This piece was good and I enjoyed it from the beginning and was very interesting so good job.
-Kamau O
-P.2

Anonymous said...

your a good writer and your story was interesting

Xavier Delgado
Period 2

Anonymous said...

your a good writer and your story was interesting

Xavier Delgado
Period 2

E said...

Holy heck!! I am not going to lie, your story creeped me out!! You did an awesome job writing though! They way you described the main characters focus on having the "perfect placement" makes the reader think more about what they are trying to portray in this series of photographs and think about they symbolism of the objects and her actions. I thought this was a really dark and disturbing piece yet it was amazing how you portrayed the character--undisturbed.

Eva Badal
Period 1

Anonymous said...

i really like your story. It was interesting from the beginning and on...Its really nice how you matched the story's title with your story its self.

William B
Period 2

Anonymous said...

This piece was super dark and deep yet very interesting!! I enjoyed reading it and I would have never wrote or read anything like this in this category!! I loved the detail and wording! I'm glad I read this fascinating piece!! Great Job!!!

Sarah Skibby
Per. 6

Unknown said...

Okay this was a really good but freaky story. When she was setting up I thought she was just having a dinner party but the title had me suspicious and when she talked about trying to kill herself and then BAM she cuts her own leg for the perfect picture dinner setting. I thought this was a really good and creative piece though.

Unknown said...

Woah Mika. I'm not gonna lie your piece was just as vivid as it was gruesome. It's cynical.There's such a light tone and the speaker's obsession with perfection adds to it, but it's such a great contrast between what is really going on in the story. I loved how you've really intricately created this character to be so seemingly normal, yet disturbed. The sort of "Martha Stewart" and cooking show setting really doesn't prepare the reader for what your character's intentions are. Good job, Mika.
Ellamae Armado
P.1

Unknown said...

Your story was very interesting. I like how the main character in the story is a perfectionist in a way. It adds to the story in a way where the details of the setting and how the photographs are set up are described vividly and as a result, it creates a dark effect where the main character's desires are slowly revealed . Overall, this was a dark story and you did an excellent job!. Keep up the good work!

Unknown said...

Mika, your story was very creepy yet interesting to read. Like many other readers, I felt very confused while reading the story until I got to the end where everything finally made sense. I really liked how you portrayed great imagery while describing how the character wanted everything to look. It made the final scene of the story very intriguing as well. Through your use of imagery, I began thinking about how the theme of your story could possibly be describing how we want to leave our legacy after we die or that we want to make sure everything will be okay for those we leave behind. Let me know if I'm right! In any case, great story and overall great job!
-Sophia Bobadilla
Period 1

Anonymous said...

Omg! I was kinda confused because I couldn't believe they were going to eat themselves. That's just crazy like how can you do that. You did an amazing job on this story.
Jocelyn Rangel
P.2

Unknown said...

What an interesting story. Its darkness contributes to the story as a whole. Also, I liked how you made the amin character a perfectionist. It adds to the darkness of the story in which eveything from the setting to the way the photographs have to be set up. Also, I enjoyed the ending. Overall, good job!

Jordan Ray said...

Your story on how much someone is thinking of how one moment in time must be perfect is well written with great imagery and tone that it captures the reader's attention, but then again I'm sure everyone got more interested the second they read "cocaine" in the story. Very well done.

Anonymous said...

I got the cringes reading your story because of your amazing diction and how I felt the physical tensions throughout the story. Very well done and I like how the title makes A LOT more sense now. It was very dark and disturbing but when you have the word "cannibalism" in your title, I think you can assume someone's going to eat human flesh. I rest my case but altogether great piece!

-Andrew Trinidad
Period 1

Anonymous said...

The imagery of your piece is absolutely beautiful! I could see the events of the story play out like a movie in my head, almost as though I was looking over the character's shoulder. This state of hollowness the narrator is in sent chills through me. All the narrator seems to care for is the outside, superficial aspects of things, but then you reveal all the details about them (i.e. the opioid use) and we see that this all dives into a darker, deeper problem. And as the story moves onto the self-mutilation, things get even darker and more frightening. Every time i read those lines i cringe because the vivid imagery places me right at the scene - as though i am watching it, if not the one committing the painful act. Truly a beautiful piece!
Danielle Delgado
Period 1
4/26/2015

Unknown said...

Great job! Through your approach of the wording and structure, I really felt a part of this girl's mind. I really loved the way your story came across so evidently, yet you didn't have to explicitly state what was going on! The subtle hints and clues were enough to bring this twisted story together. One of my favorites!

Unknown said...

This was extremely weird, but interesting to me because it was like the main character was trying to make himself a beautiful plate to eat. I really enjoyed the suspense this made me feel.

Anonymous said...

You did a really great job Mika!!! The piece contained the essence and nail biting suspense of a horror movie. you did a great job of slowly uncovering the main characters actions, and i could not guess what was going on til everything was unveiled.
Megan G
Period 1

Anonymous said...

I really loved your story Mika. It had the essence and nail biting suspense of a horror movie until the very end.
Megan G
Period 1

Anonymous said...

Madison Pierce
period 4
I liked the suspense your story contained and the immense forms of imagery that it contained. Each sentence I began to look more intently at the computer, trying to read faster so I could get to the next. I like how you started out, not explaining anything but going right into it and having the reader catch on as we wen along. great job!

Jack Myers said...

I hate the idea of pushing a knife through skin, let alone pushing it through solid flesh. The detail used in the story was extremely vivid and the suspense was built up very well. I wonder what mindset the speaker was in to do this to themselves; then again I'm not sure I'd like what I hear. Gory, but pretty great.

Anonymous said...

This was a very detailed piece if writing. It was very different from things I've read. good job!

Bethany Stitt
6:33 PM
4/272015
per 6

Unknown said...

Oh man Mika! This was probably the most non nonchalant dark piece I have ever read through these blog posts! This piece was sooooo casual thaaat it was all the more creepier. The idea of a knife going into your own skin for art is just so different! I never actually thought about this before. Your tone was very well presented and your diction was amazing. You really know how to have readers on their feet, seriously Mika! I knew you were an great writer but not as great as this piece made me see! Seriously good job and actually scaring me with the images presented in your piece! LOL JK! But I absolutely loved it! ((:

Aiseosa Ibude said...

Wow Mika. Your story is so dark and creepy. At first whether she was slicing up herself or the meat. Your use of imagery really forced me to make images I wasn't used to ( in a good way!). I really loved it Mika!!!! (:

Anonymous said...

Wow, that certainly different but good own unique way. The amount of imagery in the story was great yet creepy. Very well written!

Daniel Alaniz
Period 4

Anonymous said...

This is a different type of scary. This is scary like Hannibal Lector "Having an old friend for dinner". I had to read this piece three or four times to make sure I had not read it wrong. I would like to know what inspired you to write this piece. But this truly shocked me and made me think about what goes on outside the public eye. Great Job
Nehemiah Barnett
Period 4

Ambriell H said...

Mika. Your imagery throughout this is vivid that it made me nauseous. You have some major talent! I was curious to read yours because the title didn't make sense to me, but it's crystal clear now. But, I especially liked the ending of your piece when the speaker said that they imagined someone else's hand. Your piece was amazing and truly captivating. Gosh, it freaked me out. But, good job!!!

Anonymous said...

Christian Black
4/27/15
Period 1

As soon as I saw the title I knew this piece was going to be a dark one. I was a bit confused during the middle cause I wasn't sure if he was slicing herself up or a piece of meat but then the speaker mentioned her thighs and fingers being cut off so that cleared up everything. All in All it was a great story. Well Done Mika!

Anonymous said...

Looking at the title I expected something grave, story had me confused at one point but was a good story overall.
Anthony Absher
Period 6

Unknown said...

Wow I like how this piece is unique in its own way. The imagery created a dark and mysterious tone that really explain just how this piece is.

Anonymous said...

Very well written story. I was confused until I got to the end. It gave me the chills when she was thinking of stabbing her self. Good job.
Period 6
Luis Toro

Anonymous said...

This story is really detailed. their is also a lot of imagery down to the set up of the table and the lighting in the room. I think this story was very good
jesse jauregui.

Unknown said...

This story gave me the chills when I read it. Great job on the detailing and the use of imagery, I was able to picture all this in my head. Overall, amazing job on this story!!!

Tedman Nguyen said...

You never cease to amaze me Mika. Very descriptive use of vocabulary and you really had me getting shivers down my spine. Cannibalism is a scary thing haha, you are a great writer and your use of transitions were nicely placed and made me have a new perspective on you! overall great job :).

Anonymous said...

The title by itself is just wonderfully disturbing as I had no idea what it meant or what story I was about to read. After quickly looking up the meaning of the title, I couldn't wait to read the story. The way you describe the scenery of the story and the disturbing set up that the person in the story announced was just great writing. I don't understand why someone would do that or why someone would be recording the whole thing, but it was an interesting read. Great job.

- Justin Presto
Period 2

Anonymous said...

I loved this story so much, especially since the tone is very eerie and mysterious. The ambiguity of what is actually is going on gives an in the moment type of anxiety, much like Heart of Darkness. I loved the piece overall and am very grateful that you wrote it.
-Jacob Valdez
Period 4

Anonymous said...

Excellent piece Mika! when I say keep writing I mean it! the twist in this story is what really surprised me..So dark and the diction is somewhat sophisticated and intelligent giving the impression this person is somewhat normal. Their brief mannerism provides a strong character description of who they are. I love how this story is from their perspective, I interpret them to be obsessed with autocannibalism and wanting their first moment of eating themselves to be perfected.

Unknown said...

I wasnt to sure what I was reading until I got to the end. That was a good twist lol, Fun and playful kept it interesting good job.

Erick A. Vazquez said...

Plain out amazing. The amount of imagery that was utilized into creating this allowed for me to gain shivers and goosebumps upon reading the scenes where the skin is being sliced. I also liked how you opened it up to the readers in the first paragraph as something that was causal and not that serious, but by the end of the third paragraph you converted this into a very intense and suspenseful scene through the abundant amount of description you perfectly displayed. Amazing job.

Anonymous said...

This piece is amazing!I love the concept and the way you presented it. I like how the character begins with some confidence, but as he/she moves forward there are more doubts and inner conflict, which shows that the character is aware that what they are doing is not "normal." In his/her mind it is "as if someone else's hand" stabbed him/her because he/she can't accept that they did that to themselves.
-Diana Padilla
period1

Anonymous said...

I think this story is well executed and unsettling. First off, I was confused a bit when she said, "Dear god, if I don’t set my knives the right way again" and I'm mostly confused because of the "again". I don't understand if it means she's done this to herself or maybe someone else before but maybe that's the effect you were going for. It would have been nice to been clear on that point, however, because she does seem very experienced. I checked your allusion to "The Survivor Type" and the main character used heroin, not cocaine. Other than those things, I thought the story was very well told and creepy. I saw the story as a representation of how artists, such as our favorite gay French poet Rimbaud, destroy themselves for their craft. Again, good job.
Damairis Lao P1

Mahlon Howard said...

The beginning of the story left me a bit confused but the ending wrapped it all perfectly. This feel of the story was so cynical which brought many vivid colors. So that is what hooked me on the story. I also like the interpretation of what is seen to be normal human being.

Mahlon Howard
Period 4

Unknown said...

What. The. Crap! This story was utterly disturbing, absolutely disgusting, and completely enthralling. I was equal parts horrified and enthused. I can't believe you were able to create such a beautiful picture with such a vile concept. This truly took skill.