"Enjoy the little moments " by Saphire S

It's a funny saying. We hear as kids from adults or from our parents but we never grasp the true meaning of it. I was raised by my grandmother from the age of 6-16. She’s my second mom. She took me to school, provided all the needs I had as a kid, and played the best music.  She would always tell me to enjoy the little moments. That being either hanging out with my parents who were only around for a little while or getting to see my family that lived abroad. She always would tell me when I complained that I didn't have enough time with that person or place to enjoy the little moments that I had and not to focus on the negative. I never really liked when she told me that honestly, I felt like it was just a grandmotherly saying but then life happened and I truly understood the meaning of that saying when my grandmother got cancer. I was 14 when we first discovered that she had some type of cancer in her uterus. I remember feeling so sad and so broken because this was my second mom that I felt like I was losing. I told myself to keep calm for my grandma but it destroyed me. Cancer is no joke and it can make you feel so hopeless because there's honestly no cure and no way to get rid of it completely and when you see it affecting a loved one it breaks you apart. But every single time that I would be with my grandmother she would always tell me to enjoy the little moments we have. She saw that I was so negative and that I would lose sight of the little moments that we had where she didn't have any pain that day, or felt stronger. I believe that sometimes we can see a situation and only point out the bad. Sometimes we lose sight of the good that we experience even if its just for a moment. When things feel so hard or when you feel hopeless we tend to solely focus on that instead of enjoying the little moments along the way. To go through her chemotherapy runs  and sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the news on her pet scan result, feeling the anxiety of what's to come. My grandma would make funny jokes, bring up past embarrassing memories of me as a kid, or playing loud music that we used to listen to at every family party. She told me that every single time she did this she wanted me to enjoy this moment of happiness together. She would remind me that these are the little moments we want to hang on to in hard times. I believe throughout my grandmother's situation with cancer I learned that enjoying the little moments is more important than focusing on the negative. Now I can look back and remember all of our little moments we had together from sitting in the doctor's office listening to loud music and praying to God that we would recieve a good report, dancing before going into the chemo runs, singing on the top of our lungs to chilean music while the tears fell from our eyes. Those are the little moments that I cherish with my grandmother and can never forget. I believe once I learned to focus on the little moments I realized that through all her situations we made the best of it. I realized that by enjoying the good moments helps me but also my grandmother. Thankfully she fought cancer like a champ and now she still is a stage four cancer patient but is in remission! Recently she told me that if we didn't have those little moments of laughing, singing , dancing, living in the moment that maybe she wouldn't have had so much drive to push through the. but because we had those moments together it gave her a little bit of fight which taught me that enjoying those little moments can go a long way. I believe this helped in a lot of ways. In life we face hardships and challenges that we paint as negative and we focus on only the bad things when what should focus on is the good things along the way. So when you have a a hard situation remember to focus on the good and enjoy those special moments. This helped me in a hard time in my life and now I go through life enjoying the little things which helps me better mentally

"Growing hurts" by Carlos B

 

Loss is something we have to go through in order to value, experience and mature with it there is no other way around it. Although I can still see the teary eyes, the drowsy faces becoming drier by the day being able to show less love and affection there faces becoming like stone repeating the same words over and over again thank you, thank you, while in reality all they really wanted to do was go and hide away in there room and stay away from the all the joyness that was downstairs. I could see all of this from the back in the corner, like an owl scoping its surroundings while having to take everything in, not knowing in the moment how impactful it really was and how much it really meant to lose someone you cared dear for.

            Around 5 years ago I had to experience the death of my uncle. I remember the night it was late, maybe eleven pm and my mother got a text from her sister saying Elizabeth’s Husband is in the Hospital to go to her now. Regard you that at the moment my mother and sister were not on the best of terms but she understood that those problems were the least of our worries, so we rushed to the hospital but they did not tell me why I just heard the words “we need to go” with a sternness I have never heard before so all I could do is build a bubble of overthinking thoughts about what is going on, as we arrive to the hospital, I was left in the car and the gloomy hours made me knockout only remembering me waking up on my bed as if nothing happened almost as if I had woken up from a nightmare that was about to start. The next morning is the day we receive the news that he has passed onto the next life. The first reaction is crying from my mom and gutting feelings from my dad while my brother is still way too young to even catch a grasp of what is going on. My initial thought is pure and utter empathy towards my aunt but not a single tear dropped or even water rose to my eyelids as I could not feel what I could see everyone feeling and going through. The next day went on and once the day came to visit them and the funeral date was upon us was the day that would never escape my mind. The feeling in the air was unlike any other, the pain on my cousins and aunts faces are almost indescribable, but under all of the commotion they were still able to come through with the funeral and try to keep their composure throughout the day. Nonstop crying from everyone, the faces of regret, absolute dejection throughout the people. The ride home with complete silence, no energy or drive to do anything even hunger was not a thought.

            Now as I am older and can actually understand what occurred I now feel what the rest of my family was feeling because I am now seventeen which is the age that one of my cousins was at the time when he lost his father and I cannot fathom what I would do if this incident occurred to me, there is times at night where I am just staring at a ceiling deep in my thoughts and I try to imagine what my cousin was going through as he lost one of the most important if not the most influential person in his life. The moment I realized how big his death really was and took the bigger picture of people dying was the moment I could feel my throat start to swell as I began to feel water rise to my eyelids but the drop of tear was yet to fall. Everyday that goes on I take for granted because I cannot imagine a day without my father but everyday that passes by I realize the closer that day really is and how much more that dream can become reality. Being grateful has been something that has grown on me exponentially, enjoying each moment even if it is not the most enjoyable experience. I sit back staring into my white blank ceiling with glow in the dark stars my father put up when I was younger and I stay taking in everything he has done, isfor his children for us to live the life he didn’t have as a younger kid.

 

 

"Forever & Always" by Marwa J

 

We met six years ago and I enjoy every moment by your side. To the nights where we stayed up talking about our future, how our kids are going to be best friends and that nothing will come in between us.. I loved every conversation we have ever had. We fought throughout dust storms together and it made us stronger. You’re my best friend till death do us part. Thank you for showing me what real love is and helping me through it all. You gave me laughs to the point where I couldn’t breath, where I couldn’t control the tears from coming down.. You gave me reasons to keep going.

Days and nights pass and life just feels like it will go on forever with you by my side. I love visiting you everyday and dropping things off that you love, seeing your smile is something I hope to do forever and always. To the oath we made to stick it out till the end and to the fights we have that didn’t break us.. I will forever be thankful.

I can go on forever with thanking you for coming into my life and there isn’t a moment in my life where I don’t cry because the happiness you’ve given me feels unreal. Thank you for being my best friend, I hope one day I can return the favor with all I have to give. I can’t wait to see you again and make more memories together. It’s June 8, 2019 which means its happy national best friends day. I have never met anyone that has rode for me the way you have, you are literally one of a kind and I am beyond blessed and thankful to call you my best friend. We have managed to get through the craziest things together but hey not everything is perfect, but when it comes to you i gotta make sure everything is perfect because you have changed my life for the better. I seriously wouldn’t know what I would've done without you. I love you so much more than words can say and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

With everything that has happened to us this year nothing broke us, until you pulled away. My dearest best friend, why did you get so distant? Everything went away with a blink of an eye, until your mom called me one day saying you were at the hospital throwing up blood. Hearing those words made me feel like my whole heart was torn apart. When I saw you on the hospital bed, I cried hoping that God would give me your place so you wouldn’t suffer. Spent endless nights sleeping next to your bed, praying that you’d wake up. Nothing worked..Until one morning you woke up not remembering who I was or where you were at. Doctors claimed that it was a side effect from waking up from a coma… but I just knew that you were gone. I promised you that I’d never give up on our friendship no matter what came in between us. There were days where you’d look at me crazy just by telling you all the crazy memories we went through, nights where I sat by your side holding you from crying through all the pain you were in.

Doctors said it would only take a miracle for your memory to come back but I was slowly giving up. Forever and always I claimed to you every night before you went to sleep, hoping you would slowly come back but still...nothing. Your scans never showed anything, until your doctor told us that you have been diagnosed with cancer. Being broken is one thing, but hearing those words.. my world fell apart. You still didn’t remember me, nor did you feel anything but the pain your body was in. Moments where I showed you pictures and just the slightest giggle made me happy inside. I never thought I’d see that smile ever again. Days still pass by and you still don’t remember a thing. You grabbed my hand and whispered Forever and Always and took your last breath.