TW // talk of eating disorders
What is “enough”?
Enough (determiner, pronoun)
1. as much or as many as required.
- Synonyms include: sufficient, adequate, ample, etc.
When used after an adjective, adverb, or verb, “enough” is used for saying that an amount is as much as you need or things are as many as you need.
Ex. “Do we have enough food and drinks for everyone?”
When used in reference to a person, it is used for saying someone or something is or isn’t as good, big, fast, etc. as necessary.
Ex. “Am I good enough?”
So,what is enough?
Maybe you joke that I have a lot on my plate or that I look like I've lost weight.
Maybe your eyebrows raise when I get up for another slice of pizza.
Maybe it’s words, maybe it’s just a look.
Maybe it wasn’t intentional.
Maybe you didn’t mean anything by it,
but that was enough.
It was enough to make me think twice before I got up to get more.
It was enough to make me look around before I got another slice.
It was enough to make me suck in my stomach.
It was enough to make me skip breakfast,
and lunch,
and dinner.
How can you look at me eating the same food as the girl I’m sitting next to and decide that it is too much for me but just enough for her?
How can you look at her and think how cute that crop top is but say to yourself that I should cover up for wearing the same one?
How can you look at a woman and decide then and there how much of your respect she has earned by the amount of fat that is on her body?
How could you possibly think that we need to hear from you the same things we hear from our own reflection?
It was enough for me to tell myself that it was okay I didn't eat anything today because “I'll just eat tomorrow” .. but then tomorrow would come and so would that same excuse.
It was enough for me to tell myself that I didn't have “the body” to wear those jeans or that shirt.
It was enough to make tears stream down my face when I looked at myself in the mirror.
It was enough to make me ask if I will ever be
able to genuinely say that I love myself.
Will my words ever be enough to outweigh what society has taught me?
Will they ever make it so that I don’t cringe every time I see a picture of myself or walk by a mirror?
I have to believe that they will.
I cannot accept the fact that despite my best efforts, I could still never be enough.
Society has taught us that loving yourself for who you are isn’t the default, hating yourself is.
Unlearn that.
Some traits are accepted, others aren’t.
At the end of the day, you are the only person whose opinion matters, and even though that can be a tough pill to swallow, you have to learn how to be beyond okay with who you are and unlearn what society has forced down your throat.
You can’t be someone else’s “perfect” before you are your own.
You say that by telling women they’re obese that it’s nutrition, that you just want them to be healthy.
You say we’re promoting obesity and laziness,
that we just want an excuse to be unhealthy.
You will say that it is anything except for what it is:
loving ourselves for the very reasons we have been told not to.
I’m still unlearning, and it’s okay if you are too.
Your body is beautiful.
Your weight is no one else’s concern.
Your voice is the only one that matters.
You are YOU,
and that is enough.
Youare enough.
Works Cited
“ENOUGH (Adverb, Determiner, Pronoun) American English Definition and Synonyms: Macmillan Dictionary.” ENOUGH (Adverb, Determiner, Pronoun) American English Definition and Synonyms | Macmillan Dictionary, www.macmillandictionary.com/us/dictionary/american/enough_1.
16 comments:
Thank you so much for this, this was truly so well worded and got me extremely emotional. I understand how hard it is for you to come out with a piece like this speaking about your insecurities; but I know your bravery here helped so many people struggling with the same unrealistic beauty standards that crush so many individuals. This was beautiful just like you ! Pls continue to try to unlearn you are absolutely enough :)
Estella! Your writing is so powerful, and so meaningful. So many of us go through this and are taught that it is the norm, we are taught that it's part of growing up, but that is so damaging. I know the exact looks you're talking about the ones from family or friends that just make you want to crawl into a hole and cry, but you are so right, their opinion doesn't matter. At the end of the day you just have to love you for you, no matter hard that is to achieve. Thank you for spreading such a positive message through your writing! Also you are BEAUTIFUL! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and don't let anyone change your style because it is amazing, and as long as it makes you happy that is all that matters! - Nicole Lillie
Stella, this was so powerful! You illustrated very clearly the lens many people see themselves through and have brought it to light. I am extremely inspired by your bravery to touch on such a sensitive yet immensely common struggle. Amazing job! I am so grateful for your words and how they have inspired me and the rest of your readers. :)
This is so beautiful! It hit me when you said, "You can’t be someone else’s “perfect” before you are your own." We can't evolve as people unless we love ourselves! We are our biggest critics and no matter what we look like on the outside, it's what's on the inside that matters. (yes that was cheesy but it's true!) Thank you so much for uplifting and encouraging others to be confident in themselves!
This is powerful. It is very uplifting and I love how you encouraged others to love themselves! Just so you know you are so beautiful inside and out and I wish you all the good luck in the world. Wonderful writing!- Angela Carnalla
Thank you for shedding light on a difficult topic! Social norms have caused so many people to feel more insecure about their appearance and impact one’s self esteem. By bringing awareness about this subject, you are inspiring others and myself that we must learn to truly love ourselves. I love your writing, and you are very much perfect and courageous for sharing this story :)
Stella, this was amazing! Your descriptions truly showed how as a society we allow ourselves to become englufed in meeting the "beauty standard", when we should really try to embrace our own beauty. This was an excellent and empowering piece, good job! :)
This was absolutely amazing! Your words and phrasing were so powerful and definitely impacted me. I love how you talked about being your own perfect before anyone else's. I think that's very important to remember because in the end we truly only have ourselves.
So I'm tearing up rn...like ACTUALLY. Stella, you are one of the most beautiful, inspiring, and talented people one could have the honor of meeting, or even more so, having the honor of even being acquainted with. Thank you for reminding me, anyone, and everyone who reads this that we are all enough; but, although we and you are still "unlearning", please let me payback that reminder that YOU are indeed more than enough. Thank you beautiful :) <333
Quite impactful and very heavy on the heart! To "unlearn" something is an abstract concept that many often push to the side, but as you clearly stated, it is without a doubt necessary. The word "enough" in itself is a bad omen for many people. How you used it to cast a spell of self-confidence and pride was enchanting. What hit the nail on its head, though, was your shift of perspective not on the responsibility of the individual to be strong and ignore others, but on society itself to alter its too often discriminating views. It is unfair to leave that burden on a few and to let the rest run wild. You highlighted that with ease. A great piece.
Wow, this is incredibly well written. The way you formatted the spacing to create suspense and a tone that gives off a sense of struggle is impeccable and perfectly supports the theme. You are an amazing writer, thank you for sharing this piece!
OMG! Our society believes that it's normal to convince others that they are less then and need to change. Your statement to "unlearn" what society has taught us is truly amazing. I absolutely loved your piece. This is something i struggle with daily and i'm so happy that you were able to open up and talk about this. You did a beautiful job.
Stella,
Wow, this is so impactful. It is the sad reality that society still has these "social norms" and these "ideal" image of "perfection." All of it just truly shows how strong you are to overcome and truly embrace yourself. You are so strong, and this was just truly empowering. Thank you for sharing!
I love this so much! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your writing was so beautiful and powerful. My heart ached reading about the part when you described feeling looks and hearing comments people give you when eating. I also really appreciate the message you left us, that each and every one of us is enough. Take care of yourself too, and remember that you are always enough!
This was so inspiring and impactful Stella! The way in which you wrote this and spaced it out made me think of a motivational speech. I agree society has created this "standard" of beauty and perfection that is unrealistic and creates toxicity. The way you presented "enough" and its importance was perfect. Thank you for sharing this!
This was really insperational! I feel like alot of people need to hear this, thank you for sharing this, this really made my better!- Anastasia Lamiy
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