"Orange Chicken" by Xiaoqing Z

Orange Chicken. This popular Chinese dish is the definition of midnight comfort food, and it is also a must when Americans visit their local Chinese restaurant to satisfy their cravings. But, in fact, Orange Chicken is not actually Chinese. In the first decade of my life that I have spent in China, dining at an American restaurant was one of those things I did not get to do everyday because American food was overpriced and “unhealthy”. When the adults do decide to take my cousins and I to American restaurants “to shut us up”, Orange Chicken was one of the dishes we have always ordered. The golden popping color, the crunchiness, the mixture of sweet and sour, and the perfectly marinated pieces of meat had always managed to take us to wonderland.

At the age of ten, I boarded the flight that forever changed my life, but I was disappointed by not being able to sit in the window seat; instead, I got the middle seat, in between of the window and aisle seats. During the fourteen hour flight, I was counting down and mentally preparing myself for culture shock while counting how many times the elderly man in the window seat had said “Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”, and I still remember, after all these years, he used the restroom too many times. After landing and quickly started to adapt to my new life, nothing was more shocking than finding out that Orange Chicken is a Chinese dish! The ten year-old I had suddenly fallen into confusion. The only way to find the true origin of Orange Chicken is to “google it”, and I clicked on one seemingly credible source (Not Wikipedia), and found out that the first Chinese immigrants have brought the original Mandarin Chicken recipe with them and modified it severely to fit the taste buds of the general American public, in order to make money, of course.

No matter what Orange Chicken’s nationality is, it is still an amazing dish that can lift people from hell to heaven, and you definitely need it if you are going through a break-up, recently lost a job, or received a big fat F after pulling an all nighter studying for that test. But do you really want to spend 10+ minutes driving to a Panda Express with an average rating of 2.5/5 stars on Yelp, and then spend $8.30 (plus tax) on a meal with just rice, vegetables, and chicken? Let me show you the correct way to enjoy this glorious dish at a much lower cost, but have a 5/5 stars experience!

If you are expecting the following to be a recipe of Orange Chicken, then you are very wrong. First of all, I would be a hypocrite if I was to write a recipe for the best Orange Chicken out there, but in reality, I still don’t know how to cook rice with a rice cooker. Second of all, cooking from scratch, in my opinion, wastes too much time and has too many underlying implicit costs, so let me show to the perfect way to heat up frozen Orange Chicken!

The first and most important step is to take a short drive to your local grocery store, preferably Walmart, to pick up a bag or box of frozen Orange Chicken. Walmart is the preferred grocery store because it is the most abundant (you can still find Walmart in some of the most remote towns of North America), has a wide variety of selection, and offers the lowest prices with its “price match” system. (This is not sponsored by Walmart)

Once you have purchased your frozen Orange Chicken, you may now begin the heating process, which comes in two methods.

The Oven Method aka The Preferred Method

1. Preheat the oven to 400°F, which is the perfect temperature that allows the breading to become crispy and the meat to become tender.

2. Place a desirable amount of chicken on a baking sheet and bake for 15-18 minutes depending on the amount of chicken or until golden and crisp. Ladies and Gentlemen, watch out for the calories! The choice is yours.

3. Meanwhile, thaw the unopened sauce packet that comes with the frozen Orange Chicken in warm water. Once the packet is completely thawed, heat the sauce in a bowl on High in the microwave for 1 minute. Although it is completely safe to microwave the sauce in the packet, I am always concerned with the fact that I might be eating melted plastic.

4. Place the fully heated chicken into a bowl and pour the heated sauce over the chicken. Mix the chicken with the sauce and Ta Da!

The Stove Top Method aka The Less Preferable Method

If you find yourself to be in a kitchen that does not have an oven or you just want to make your life harder, the Stove Top option is perfect for you!

1. Heat some oil in a skillet or frying pan, and add a desirable amount of frozen Orange Chicken. If you want a slightly healthier meal, you can use olive oil or other substitutes in the skillet. Again, watch out for the calories! The choice is yours.
   

2. Let the chicken cook for 15-18 minutes or until the chicken has reached the perfect level of crisp you desire.
   

3. Meanwhile, thaw the unopened sauce packet that comes with the frozen Orange Chicken in warm water. Once the packet is completely thawed, heat the sauce in a bowl on High in the microwave for 1 minute.

4. Place the fully cooked chicken into a bowl and pour the heated sauce over the chicken. Mix the chicken with the sauce and the chicken is all yours!

You can enjoy Orange Chicken (a piece of art) by itself, with rice, or with noodles. If you are truly a nonconformist, you can also eat Orange Chicken with pasta, in a sandwich, on a pizza...you name it!