“Unexpectedly” by Janae S

            February 18, 2018, the day of excitement and anxiousness turns into a day of sorrow. I woke up early on this particular Sunday. I had a college audition at the University of California Los Angeles. This day was going to be nerve- wrecking, but exciting all at once. I got everything I needed for the audition and left. My mother drove me to Los Angeles. The audition consisted of an information session about University of California Los Angeles’ theater program, learning a choreographed musical style dance, performing two monologues, singing two songs, and an interview. This lasted for about four long hours. Once the audition was done, I was finally able to go home and rest up. Until tragedy had struck.

            On the way home, my mother got a call from one of her brothers, who is one of my uncles. I was listening to music with it blasting from my earphones into my eardrums, so I was unable to hear the conversation that was going on. My mother has her phone connected to the car, so she does not have to have her phone in her hand while driving. I paused my music when I noticed my mother’s face. She was in shock. When she got off the phone, my mother decided to tell me the news at that moment, so I would not find out in a hard way. One of my cousins, who I grew up with and was very close to, has passed away.

            Denial had come first. I told my mother not to say that because I did not want to believe it. She said my cousin had a seizure. I wanted to start crying, but because my mother was still driving, and for the sake of her to also not to start to cry, I held it in. We went to his house, but the closer we got, the more I wanted to scream out. The police was there, and so was my aunt, his mother. I stayed in the car, while my mother went to go and comfort her sister. I could not bear going inside the house. Once alone, I broke down. I could not help it. This was the first time losing someone that was so close to me. We were at the house until midnight. Then, we allowed ourselves to go home and at least, try to get some sleep. Sleeping that night was difficult for me. In the morning, I did not want to get out of the bed, but I forced myself to. When I did, I would stop and look at the few pictures of my cousin that we have around our house.

            My family told each other that we would all get through this together. When time for the funeral came two weeks later, we all had to emotionally prepare ourselves. The funeral was packed with his friends and extended family. His friends and colleagues talked about how they appreciated him and looked up to him… literally (he was taller than six feet and seven inches!) Hearing all the wonderful comments people had to say about my cousin brought happiness to my heart. Upon taking a glance at everyone who attended, I was able to see my father, along with two aunts, an uncle, and two cousins all from my father’s side of the family. I was ecstatic to see that they came to the funeral.

            My cousin’s death taught me that I need to appreciate more, the people who are in my life because I never know when they will unexpectedly leave. My family’s religious faith is what we looked to when trying to think of positive thoughts. We know he is looking after us, and that he cares. We know that he is happy. Whenever I see a picture of him or hear his name, I am reminded of all the precious moments we have had together. I will think of the last time I had seen him at a family gathering. I will think of all the times we would laugh about the most ridiculous subjects. I remember every time we see each other, he would greet me by saying “hi cousin”. I remember how much of a picky eater he was. I remember when going to his college graduation and how my cousin had to bend down to get the medal he was awarded around his neck because he was taller than his professors. I will always have memories of him to look back on.