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Monday, March 19, 2018

"Saturday, the fourth of June two thousand sixteen " by Bonnie R



We were all exatic with the great news we did not expect. It was all so overwhelming and surprising but we all knew it was a blessing and it was going to change all of our lives.I have been praying for this happen for the family and it was a miracle. Just like that when I heard the news I started to plan it all in my head, the colors, the theme, the food, the location, etc. My mom and I would go to target and start buying some things she would need and it was all alluring to be able to experience the excitement with my mom. I began to start speaking to my parent’s friends to see if we could throw my mom a surprise party for this blessing. They were all as excited as we were and wanted to help out as much as possible. A few weeks passed and everything was going good, just as expected. When all of a sudden my mom on a Friday was not feeling so well and she felt like something was just not right. She told us and we just all started to research and it said to not be alarmed and that it wasn’t anything bad. That calmed down my mom so she could sleep but as she woke up that Saturday morning she told my dad that she knew something was wrong and was very nervous. Since she felt like that we decided to take her to the emergency room. I honestly felt like it wasn't necessary because I thought everything was okay and we were just overreacting. “It was a great sunny day to be stuck in a hospital when nothing is wrong” I thought. We all had to wait patiently because it was extremely packed, finally after hours, they called her in. Just like that we were all anxious and praying everything was okay. She finally came out and she told us that the nurse told her “I can not tell you anything until the doctor is present, I apologize.” With my little knowledge of watching Greys anatomy I knew deep down in my heart that something was actually wrong but I told my parents to not worry but I had to go out for a walk. I had faith that God was going to take control of everything. A few hours later they called her in again. My family was silent at this time anxious to know what was occurring and just like that we saw my mom with so many tears in her eyes. We all shared the pain with her and couldn’t believe what was happening, wondering why this would happen to us. My mom felt very guilty and she needed a lot of love from everyone of us. It was very hard for every single one of us. I know that it was tough to move on but I pray ……
My baby sister/brother may be having a great time in heaven

17 comments:

Amber Duran said...

The way you waited to tell us what had occurred with your mom was suspenseful and kept me wanting to find out what exactly happened. When I did find out I was heartbroken for you and for your family. I am so sorry for your loss but it was very brave of you to write this piece and share it with the class. This piece was beautifully written, great job.

Sachin Reddi. Period 6 said...

Dang. This post describes a situation that no one would actually think could happen to them until it does. I'm very sorry you had to go through something like this, and the way you told the story made it very easy to understand the emotions you must have felt. Although it was a sad story that surely gets everyone thinking, great job writing it.

Jocelyn Rangel said...

It's brave to open up about such a depressing period in your and your family's life. The suspense of not knowing everything was okay is a terrible feeling and I'm sorry you had to experience it. You did an amazing job in using detail to make the reader feel your feelings.

Janae Stowers said...

This is so sad. I'm sorry this happened to your family. I like how you spent the time to tell us readers what was going on with your mother. I know going through that tragedy was not easy.

Unknown said...

Even though you never specifically stated what happened we still can understand the situation very well. Good job with your emotional descriptions, you really took the reader into the hospital with you to hear the news.

Anonymous said...

It was very mature/ brave for you to open up and share such a piece, during such a difficult time. However, the use of details and imagery made it even more surreal and we the audience were able to capture those feelings. Very nice job.
-Eliana Rodriguez

Anonymous said...

You didn't specifically state what your mom went through. With your descriptions and use of imagery you were able to get the situation across to the readers. I'm sorry you and your family had to go through something so tragic. Great job writing your piece.

Anonymous said...

I commend you for having the courage to share this hard obstacle you and your family had to overcome. I loved how you waited until the end to tell us what really happened because it made me anxious to just continue reading. I love all the descriptive words and it felt like I was with you throughout the whole story. Great job!

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, this was a wonderful piece! By your words alone I could sense the amount of emotion that went into this piece. Waiting to unveil the situation until the end added a lot of suspense! I’m so sorry you and your family went through this! Your sibling is always with you in your heart and always looks down upon you in heaven!

- Jennifer Kirksey (Period 5)

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, even though you never explicitly said what happened it is extremely clear. I am so sorry for that loss you and your family had to experience. I thank you for sharing something so private, yet so beautifully written, with us. Your sibling is always with you and watching over you and your family with love!
Kayla Rangel
P.6

Unknown said...

Mekka Johnson April 4, 2018 at 11:41
Bonnie this story was very sincere and hit close to my heart. You had me at the edge of my seat the entire time. I send my condolences and prayers to your family. I am sure it is not easy losing a child. Your descriptive words made me want to cry with you when you mentioned that you seen the tears fall down your mothers eyes. Continue to be strong for your mother and your family.

Anonymous said...

Your story was very touching and descriptive. Through the imagery, your anecdote fell that much more real. Great job on incorporating emotional aspects to lure your reader in.

Unknown said...

Very good job articulating such a heartbreaking and devastating time. The suspense you created by revealing the situation at the very end kept the reader's attention and made your account that much more interesting.

Maya Berdeja said...

I am so heartbroken that you and your family had to go through something so devastating. You are brave for opening up about it and expressing your feelings regarding the situation. I admire your strength.

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, your piece was very moving. You described your tragic situation in a way that made me feel some semblance of how you felt then. And the suspense leading up to that tearjerker of an ending worked great. Thank you for opening up on such a personal topic.
Zachary Judson
P.4

Anonymous said...

It takes a lot of courage to share such a sincere and personal story. Your story flowed so well, you had me so anxious the entire time hoping everything will be okay. I send my deep condolences to you and your family I cannot imagine how heartbreaking this situation is but you guys will be alright he/she is in good hands. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

This was a great way to share your personal story and I liked the way you incorporated examples and detail like "Greys Anatomy."