In Brooklyn a boy was born, whose life
dream was to spread a message, but that message was lost in his life of tragedy. This boys name was Capital who grew up in New
York and early in life he was witness to crimes, which was life in his
neighborhood. Capital even lost his father to crime early in his life; so early
he had a troubled life. Even with all these tragedies, he had music to help.
By the time Capital was in his
teens he took music seriously, mainly rap he devoted his time learning the art and
eventually mastering it. Capital had a different mind set then many people, he
was infatuated with the number 47 which is an angelic number meaning peace and
balance, mind you he was in high school so not a lot of people understood him
and felt he was crazy. Even though this
didn’t have a lot of friends he had enough to call family. His small number of
fiends all enjoyed to rap so they would freestyle and record on there free
time, but they then took it seriously and made themselves a well known rap group
in the area lead by capital. One
Capital’s best friend was actually of fan of Capitals music his name was Joey.
Joey then became a prominent member of the Rap group.
Capital’s rap group started to
catch attention with Capital’s message of peace and balance. All the people in the group were talented,
but the two that stood out were Capital and Joey. Capital took Joey under his
wing and formed a big brother role for him. Joey then became better and better
and started catching more attention from people and record deals. While Capital
was still loved by many people, he really didn’t get as much attention as his
partner. This really made Capital feel unwanted, but he was still happy for his
friend. Capital then continued to spread
the message of peace and balance. At the time there was a deal going on with a
record label and they were considering signing Joey and Capital, this was the
chance Capital was looking for to spread his message on a bigger scale. The
record label ended up signing Joey and not Capital. This devastated him, once
again in his life he felt lost.
The deal was the straw that broke
the camels back, to Capital felt he lost the chance to show the world what was
most important to him. So on a cold December night, he climbed the record studio
building that had rejected him. As he looked down on the bright beautiful city,
moon lit in the distance and bible clinched in his hands tight, then as if time
slowed down Capital walked to the ledge contemplating his next move. Capital
closed his eyes knowing these were his final moments; he then jumped and took
his life. A final note was found atop the building saying “The end.”
15 comments:
You just told me this story in class !! Crazy that this actually happened in real life ! Love this piece !
imalla ramirez
period 6
This story is very touching, I enjoyed reading something from Capital's lifestyle. Just make sure to check for grammatical errors, other than that great job!
- vymian san p.2
Dang Jullian you're a bold man and know how to write man keep up the good work.
-Kamau O
-P.2
This story was great to read i felt the whole story i am a song writer my self and am very good in my opinion and others so i can see how would feal considering he taught the dude gi bro keep up the good story's!
This story was great i could feel it whole hardheartedly i say keep up the great work!
This was a great story with a really interesting character who went through some turmoil. It was sad how the story ended.
Jullian, this was a great story but at the end it was a little creepy and I felt kind of bad for Capital. but overall it was a good story.
This was a great and detailed story you made it seem like it was an actual event that took place keep up the good work.
-Noah Martinez
p.2
Really good detail to capture the audiences attention. It brought the story to life. Keep up the good work.
Nice story! There are errors here and there but overall I like how your story describes how Capital felt about music.
Chiquitita Annisa
Period 2
This was a good story and i enjoyed it. You know how to write detailed stories, keep it up!
Joseph Mendez
per.2
This real cool I like it foreal foreal. I feel like a song writer now lol. it was fun and interesting inviting this is good keep going.
This is a great piece as you read you can feel potty for the character and as his life looks up feel that positive vibe then as he was left in the dust you can feel where the story is heading. With everything the character ,capital, built leading to his eventual success all suddenly passed him up for his partner he trained you can feel his sense of betrayal. This was a very creative story with an interesting plot. You also worded your story very well good job keep up the good work.
Good Job! i like how you showed how he felt, and how music helped him through it.
This was really sad, I wanted there to be a happy ending for him but this one left a larger impact. The plot was well done and alot told in not alot of words. Nice work!
Margaret Moyer
Per5
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