When
I was little I had the coolest red truck. But my Ma said little girls don’t
play with trucks, and the next thing I knew my name wasn’t Franz anymore. “Your
new name is Francis”. This didn’t anger me, but when your birth certificate
says you’re a guy, it raises some questions. So instead I got Bratz dolls, with
their huge heads and perfect eyeliner. From then on I wasn’t allowed to play
with my brother, or any of his friends. Or anyone really.
I started thinking what’s wrong with me. Am I
not masculine enough? I mean I’m 5’10, with a thick jaw line and caterpillar
eyebrows. If I didn’t walk like a linebacker these features would be flattering
on a girl. Problem is 1) I can grow enough facial hair to clothe a small
village. The doctor said these pills would rid my facial hair and get my
hormones on track, but I didn’t even know they were out of whack to begin with!
They seemed fine to me. 2) My body has all the exterior expectations of a male,
but lacks the basic anatomical structures to seal the deal (if you catch my
drift).
I asked the girl next to me in anatomy how her
hormones were doing…and she moved seats to get away from me. I wasn’t sad or
anything I swear, she was stupid anyways. She thought that ovaries were the
left and right lobes of the brain. I may not have any of those suckers, but at
least I know where they would be! This event made me face the facts; I am not
male, nor am I female.
I am a thing.
A female wannabe,
cooked up to resemble a picturesque human. I wasn’t blessed with a menstrual
cycle (thank Jesus, I heard it’s terrible), and I don’t giggle, or flaunt my
curves. Even if I wanted to show off my “rockin’ bod” I would be flapping skin
and bones around.
So now I sit here, in sterile linens. Fake estrogen flowing through my veins for the
seventeenth time.
Doc says I’m a “vessel of medical perfection” and
that after this surgery I will be as beautiful as Audrey Hepburn, maybe even
better. He said shaving my jaw line will produce feminine features and make my
face more approachable. I guess it’s better to resemble someone. But I’m a lost cause, past the point of no
return. Oh well. There’s always next time to be a someone. For now I am a
thing, something unrecognizable to the world.
11 comments:
This story is brilliant. As someone who enjoys reading stories with the "unreliable narrator" I found this both humorous and thought-provoking. The narrator's point of view is almost nonchalant about their whole situation, whereas say a narrator observing the situation would most likely have a completely different mindset. I thought that this was a unique way to address the controversial issue concerning the line that separates what is a man and what is a woman. Great job!
Isabelle Huynh
Per.1
I don't read many pieces from people our age who tackle a concept as difficult as gender. I think that is because gender is so ingrained in our culture that we find it impossible to function without it or when it is not definite. I liked that this piece because it both discusses how people distinguish gender. Your narrator feels that they are neither one nor the other; unable to conform into either of the molds their peers have set for them. I really enjoyed reading your piece, keep writing!
Adan Chavez
Per. 4
Marian Hollinquest
Period 1
Your story is great, gender is a very sensitive subject to tackle when growing up. Gender confusion often lead to suicide among individuals that dealt with it, the pain an struggle they faced of their own ambiguity was well represented in your short narrative. I could feel the confusion falling off of this character from a mile away, I feel as though I can really relate to them.
I actually really liked your blog entry, for a couple reasons. I found that the guy didn't really know any better at the time, so the outside influences that the parents were shoving down his throat obviously really affected him. This shows how you start off with nothing but a blank slate, and society sort of changes and molds you into a specific being that they can define. Your identity is based on the things that are thrown at you your whole life, even from a young age. Nice work!
Anthony Hurd
Period 4
This entry was very interesting. It's a topic that many don't think of, but your story really highlighted how people with this confusion might actually live their lives. From being forced to take medication because "something is wrong" in society's eyes while that person may think everything is perfectly fine to being judged for asking an honest question that they were curious about. You clearly go through the points that many use to differentiate males and females and I liked how the tone of the speaker was very casual and they didn't really care what was going on; they accepted their life as they are. Nice work
Idalys Martinez
Period 1
Katelynn,
Great job! At first i had a hard time understanding if the speaker was a guy or girl and then as i continued reading i realized that the speaker was having a hard time deciphering that for themselves as well. This was comforting and added to my interest in reading. I think because this is something society doesnt talk about much, its foreign. You did a good job representing that in the story. It was great!
Leasia Spicer
Period 4
Dang Katelynn! This was am amazing story! At first, I was confused as to who this person you were describing really was but through the use of detail and imagery I realized everything. This was very moving and I enjoyed reading this. Overall, interesting piece, you're so creative!
I really liked this piece because you tackled a subject of a intense seriousness and summed it up with so much nonchalance. I like that you were able to confuse me by not clearly identifying the gender of the speaker, which reflects the confusion that is experienced by the speaker. The confusion experienced by the speaker definitely reflects how most of society feels about this touchy subject. I especially enjoyed the fact that is could be an eye-opening piece to many readers.
DUUUUUDE! Incredible job at being able to personify this effect of confusion but, very deep and thoughtful connections to the problem of
self identification. I also really admire the fact that you didn't give us a clear answer to whom the main character could be because it just intrigues us more to your piece. Aweeeesome job!
This story was really well written! I could tell you put a lot of thought into this and wanted to make a point. This topic is not typically discussed in this way and I liked your approach in addressing it. By adding that character and explaining their features really enhanced the meaning of your piece and I liked how you were casual about it. People today, even thought they aren't a "thing" can relate to being "unrecognizable" or unaccepted in society. Overall, I enjoyed reading this piece and the meaning behind it.
This piece was very well written in that it was able about a subject of great sensitivity and seriousness and was easy to understand and helps the reader almost relate to the speaker. I love how this piece was able to transition so easily from the speaker playing with toys to having problems at school to laying down and being examined by a doctor. This piece also helps the reader understand how an individual going through a situation such as this one would feel.
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