It has been about five
days since I awoke in this hell hole and I have yet to see a single soul. For
some reason I don’t feel tired or even hungry. I do not have the faintest idea
of how I got here nor do I have any recollection of who I am. For God sakes I
can’t even remember my own name! From this weird space suit I am wearing I am
assuming I am, or was an astronaut. The only thing I know for sure is that I
was on a mission of some sort. Although I cannot remember what it was I am sure
it was something of great importance. Now none of that matters anymore because
I am never going to escape this place. I have no idea who my captors are or
what they want with me. Maybe there are other life forms in this universe and
they have kidnapped me. Oh God! What if they are going to probe me or worse,
what if they already have. Maybe it is not amnesia I’m experiencing. What if
they stole my memories! No. I need to get a hold of myself. I will not go
insane and I will not give up on finding a way out.
I have searched every inch of this boxed
prison and I even tried breaking the glass but it is useless. What was that? I
am not sure if I am hearing the voices of children or if I have already gone
crazy. “Hello, can anyone hear me”! Why is no one responding to me?
Suddenly I feel the ground shaking and my boxed prison seems to be lifted. I
come face to face with a giant who utters the words “Look mommy it’s Buzz”.
17 comments:
very funny but kind of sad at the same time love everything you have done with the story. -Nais Zjaii Ragsdale Period 6
This was by far my favorite submission of the month! I loved your story concept, it was incredibly adorable. The imagery in your piece really enhanced the suspense I felt while reading this. It makes you wonder, "Who is this mysterious man held in this box prison?" I love the way the speaker is talking to himself, wondering who and where his is. I didn't expect the ending to be like that at all! It put a cool twist on the Toy Story concept. I really enjoyed this submission. Keep writing!
Evelin Conde
period.5
11/17/2014
I liked the way you make the story flow without identifying the person as Buzz Lightyear until the end. I read the story a second time and could now picture Buzz in the story.
-Isaac Garcia
per 6
This story is well constructed. The imagery is descriptive enough to put the reader into the story, keeping them interested. However, you do not go to far and leave in just enough ambiguities to keep the mysterious and uncertain element to the story alive. The reveal at the end is also well thought out as it helps to clarify the perspective of the story by alluding to Toy Story. Well Done!
Kristin, I really liked your story! The way that you immediately threw the reader into an unknown scenario really caught my attention when I first began to read your story. I liked how you allowed the reader to hear the inner thoughts of the main character and really get a sense for what he was feeling in his situation. The imagery you used to convey the speaker's tone of fear and disillusionment was great. When you said, "From this weird space suit I am wearing I am assuming I am, or was an astronaut," and then "I have searched every inch of this boxed prison and I even tried breaking the glass but it is useless," I got the sense that this character was either crazy or an actual astronaut who got detached from their spaceship, like on the movie "Gravity." I liked how you managed to keep the reader in the dark about what was actually happening to the main character until the end. Finally, I liked the shock in the end when you portrayed this unknown character/speaker as Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear! Great job!
-Sophia Bobadilla
P.1
Being Andy, the original owner of Buzz and Woody, I must say I am disturbed to know that Buzz was unhappy with my world. Through his distrusting tone and fearful dialect, I can't help but feel sorry that I put him through all of that. I am quite sorry that he felt as though he was in an inescapable prison. Please forgive me Buzz.
Kristin, you told me your idea for the blog before the piece was submitted on the page, yet I still found my self flipping out at the end because the narration was in Buzz's point of view. I reread this piece multiple times, and each time I found myself laughing because of Buzz's distressed dialect. I really liked how this piece related to the Toy Story movie where Buzz genuinely believes that he is a space ranger and not a toy; talk about going down memory lane. Anyway, I loved this piece so much, great job. :)
OH THIS WORK IS GREAT HAHA. At first, I thought it was a reference to Maze Runner because it was the first thing that popped into my head while reading this. I liked the first person point of view used to make it seem like it was actually an astronaut and the irony of it being Buzz Lightyear. I love reading stories like this, where it makes the reader think and the fact that it relates to Toy Story makes it even better. Great work!
Its really sad but this made me laugh so hard. You made the life of a toy sound terrifying and full of confusion. But you captured Buzz perfectly, and even a little more realistic than I would have imagined a easy going toy. It relates to the movie because Buzz was confused when he realized he wasn't a space ranger, but you animated Buzz in a way that gave him real life qualities and emotions not associated with the cartoon. Great story!
Katelynn Gutierrez p,4
Wow Kristin! I really loved this, it was so interesting! Great plot twist in the end. In the beginning I was thinking to myself and trying to guess who this character was. To find out it was Buzz, it blew my mind! You're a creative writer and I really enjoyed this piece because of the fact that you took the story and made the intro of Buzz your own.
This was amazing! I love how the imagery made the us feel as if his thoughts belonged to us. The misunderstanding of his bearing added to the mystery of the unidentified person. Although 'hell hole" doesn't really sound like something Buzz would say, it still felt very realistic and practical. Thank you for writing!
- Frederick Sagoe
Dang Kristin, this was deeper than I expected. At first I was reading it thinking it was about a person, but you definitely surprised me in the end. Very well constructed and I liked the dialect you used. I also liked the point of view you used for your speaker. Knowing it is Buzz Light Year, it's sad to think people could relate to similar emotions this action figure could possibly feel(if toys had feelings). I liked your title and how you altered the original "To Infinity and Beyond" title. Overall, great piece!:)
Kristin,
Hahaha, I did not see that coming. I loved the allusion to Toy Story you made, especially since a fourth installment is to come out soon. You definitely caught my attention when it seems like you inadvertently rhymed in the first sentence with "hell hole" and "soul." I started to get that sense of despair and confusion from our Space Ranger, and when I read it a second time I could hear Tim Allen's voice acting. Thank you for this, this made my day.
Gian Velasquez p.1
The anonymity of the narrator and the fact that you were deliberately placing descriptors that could clear that obscurity right in front of the reader’s nose is what made me love this story so much. If it was stated that the mysterious “man” was Buzz Lightyear, the reader could immediately make connections. However, making these connections backwards proves quite difficult. This piece is a beautifully constructed puzzle that forces the reader to actually interact with the writing mentally.
I really enjoyed how this piece was written and it describes how us as teenagers always look for someone to feel the same as us when we're going though a phase so we don't feel as alone as we really do. It also brings up the point that us as teenagers are always looking for our significant other when in reality we should just slow down and enjoy our youth.
Margaret Moyer
Per. 5
I liker that it is in first person giving the readers the same confusion as the narrator is going through. It took me a bit to figure out that the narrator was Buzz and when I read back I wanted to smack my forehead because all the hints were there. Great piece.
i really liked how you used that Toy Story reference and your story was really good and i liked how it was in the perspective of Buzz and how a toy would think being stuck in a box and seeing humans carry them off and play with them. I liked how you kept us going until the very end it what made me love it so much. You made the reader figure out whats going on and then the twist comes which brought the story to a amazing close.
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