"C.Y.O.P.-Carve Your Own Pumpkin" by Melissa N.

It began as a parody to an otherwise well known B.Y.O. (Bring Your Own). But rather than Bring Your Own Bananas, I and a couple of my friends decided to be festive for the month of October, B.Y.O.P- Bring Your Own Pumpkin! Now none of us have ever carved a pumpkin before, but I will now proceed to share with you what I believe the steps are to carve your own pumpkin.
Step One: The Chosen One
Variety is both the ally and the enemy, the "frenemy." Now, if you're a lot like me, choices are not your best friend. When it comes to choosing your pumpkin, well I hate to break it to you, but you don't. It chooses you. You can go about rubbing and tapping and loving many different pumpkins, however you might just be wasting your time. The chosen one will reveal himself when almost all hope is lost. When you spot him, you just know that's the pumpkin, it was meant to be.
Step Two: Purchase It
That's a given; nothing is free now, c'mon!
Step Three: Family Photoshoot (optional)
This pumpkin is now officially yours. You even have documentation of ownership also known as your receipt! So why not show it off to the world?! Take outrageous photos with it to show that you love it enough to be seen with it. Have someone who has actually taken family photos before position you in a family pose so you can avoid those awkward “selfies.”

Consider poses such as: 

Avoid:

         
Step Four: Tracing
If you're more advanced than most people, you can skip this step. However, if you're as new to this as I am, you might want to consider this step. By now I assume you know what sort of image you want to create on the pumpkin. If not I'll give you this time to think. I'll wait.

Alright so now that you have this mental image of what you want to make, I want you to scrap it. Scrap that perfect image you have of your pumpkin completely out of your mind! Your pumpkin is not going to look like what you want it to be, trust me. You may think you want to create this intricate and detailed skull in honor of Dia de Los Muertos, but I'm telling you now, it's not going to look anything like that, especially in daylight. So consider starting small! The Mona Lisa is a good place to start!

Step Five: Gut It!
You may need parental supervision for this step. I'm no knife connoisseur, but I recommend not using a meat cleaver or a butter knife to get to the inside of the pumpkin. Try a medium sized knife. Cut a circle around the stem that is large enough for your hand to fit inside and yank the stem off. Next, grab a metal serving spoon and scrape off the flesh and seeds inside of the pumpkin. You may save the seeds as you please.
Step Six: Becoming Butcher Bob
With a smaller knife, preferably a paring knife, begin cutting it up! You are the creator, go nuts! Just be careful, you do have a knife in hand!
Step Seven: Admiration
Congratulations! You did it! Drop that knife and pat yourself on the back!
Step Eight: Light ‘em Up Up Up, Light ‘em Up Up Up!
Grab a tea candle of some sort, and stick it inside! Replace the cut off stem and you're good to place this outside your front door!

          

One should plan accordingly when it comes to carving the pumpkin. People tend to forget that the pumpkin is not a preservative, it will rot in time. Therefore, do not carve it too early! One should aim for about a week before Halloween. Also, beware those pesky teenagers! They may be inclined to destroy it! Other than that, have fun and get creative!

     

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