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Wednesday, December 11, 2019

"Acceptance" by Angiolina S



It was the beginning of summer. School just ended and I was awaiting the adventures and

experiences this summer was going to bring me. Through the first week, my family and I began taking out all our summer items as excitement began to fill up the house of all the possibilities of this summer. But then that day happened. My siblings and I began packing for our first trip to Peru with our dad as we were leaving the following day. This was going to be my first trip to Peru and my heart began pounding from the exhilaration of the thought of being able to reunite with my family. The house was lit with anticipation as we were almost finished up, but then there was a knock-the soft, three slow knocks on my wooden front door. Little did we know that knock held heart breaking news. I saw my brother slowly opening the creaking door and saw that it was the mother of one of our childhood friends. I could tell something was very wrong from the way she was holding her frail body and the dark circles around her eyes. There was a sense of darkness that crept around her presents. “Dana’s in a coma,'' she said in a low voice and continued, “she passed out as she was up to bat at her softball game. The doctors said she had an aneurysm and it’s not looking good.” Confusion and sorrow began to fill my head as I felt for Dana and her family, but also wondering why this would happen to such a wonderful person. Later in the day, we drove to the hospital in silence and guarded emotions as we all didn’t want to break the ice on what was actually going on. We arrived at the hospital seeing the blocked blue letter indicating “ICU”. Step by step, I began walking to her hospital room. All I could hear was the ringing of the telephones and see other families devastated by their own losses. I saw the small white blocked numbers that made up her room number and slowly walked in with my family following after. Tears fled my eyes as I saw her mom’s red eyes filled with tears just as mine were and we quickly embraced in a tight hug. I then saw her brother and knew that he was feeling much more pain than anyone in that room as his body was shaking from the heartbreak. The sound of the life support machine was like white noise. All I can remember from that hospital visit was seeing her fragile body laying on the cushioned hospital bed. Her hair was laid perfectly surrounding the stitches that were sewn into her scalp. Her hands and fingers were slendered and all I could focus on was the machine helping her inhale and exhale. I held her slim hand as I moved closer to her bedside and began reminiscing of the great memories we had in elementary school. The person I looked up to as a role model, the person that helped me through the toughest times, was laying in that hospital bed with a 10% chance of coming out of the coma, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I was gripping her hand hoping that her brother talking to her, or the amount of love and support she was receiving was going to bring her back and her eyelids will open revealing her brown eyes, but nothing. All I was left with was emptiness, trying to think of the last words I told her, the last memories, but all I could think was why? Why did it have to be a person like her? The most heartwarming and sweetest person I could have met was taken from me just like that. Three days later, my siblings and I were in Peru with my dad. It was late at night after a day filled with fun festivities with our family and were getting ready for bed. As I was looking down at my phone looking for entertainment, but my screen was quickly lit up with, “#ripdana”. Seeing those small letters lit on my screen tore my heart apart. From the start of getting the news I knew how the odds were going to turn out, but the actual reality of it hurt more. It was hard to see as tears filled my eyes and grief was all I was feeling. Memories, the regret I felt for not keeping more in touch with her as years progressed all
pervaded my thoughts. Later in the night I got a call from my mom with the same news, knowing that there was no way for her to comfort me as she was in another country. I couldn’t manage out a single word just weeps over the phone. Through the passing months, it was hard as this was one of the first times I had lost someone so important in my life. I tried to avoid the fact the she was really gone, I couldn’t accept it. I questioned all the time why this could happen so suddenly to someone who has never done anything wrong, and began pushing people out of my life-afraid of the image of another person leaving my life. I became a person I didn’t want to be. Through this terrible time in my life, resentfully, I learned that I have to accept when it’s time for a person to go. I accepted the fact that she was truly gone, that I couldn’t bring her back. From that point, I have cherished the time I have with friends and family, both good and bad moments, and try to make impacts on their lives just as Dana did to mine.

22 comments:

Justin Lim said...

I am so sorry to hear about this although the point of the piece is to cherish people while you have them and thus sorry discounts that whole point. The way it was written was very captivating, starting with not only a regular tone, but one of excitement and anticipation to only receive the news which transformed the experience and tying together the idea of gratitude towards those that are still here was amazing
Justin Lim

Anonymous said...

I was left speechless, both by your description of the moment you were in, as well as the story you were able to convey in such few words. I know there is a lot more meaningfulness in your heart about the situation than you expressed in the passage, but that is something to be kept and remembered internally. Although this loss was hard to get through, I believe that it has made you a stronger person overall. As you mentioned, being able to cherish the moments you have with loved ones more because of this undesirable circumstance.

Isabel Quintanilla said...

Angio, Im so sorry for your loss. I know how painful it can be to lose someone you love. Thi story was beautifully written and I could feel the emotion behind it, so much so that it made me tear up. - Isabel Quintanilla

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. I remember hearing about Diana and feel sad and I didn't even know her. I cant even imagine how much this hurt. -Kate Sainz

Anonymous said...

Angio, this was a great, heartfelt story. I know what it is like to lose a loved one and see them asleep in the ICU. I was able to relate in some way. I liked how you showed your perspective on loss and the lesson at the end of accepting the loss.

Isabela Vergara said...

This was a beautiful piece. The imagery you used when describing the hospital scene gave the readers a sense of the pain and heartbreak that you experienced, making this a strong piece of writing. Thank you for sharing your story. Great job!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you had to go through that loss, Angio. I know that losing someone important to you can have extremely damaging effects, and it is terrible that you had to go through that. Your realization at the end, though, is inspiring. Letting a close friend’s death influence you to make your mark is the best takeaway you possibly could have had. Your writing really drew me in, amazing job. - Eddie Yanez

Kaylyn H said...

Wow, what a heart wrenching story. I'm so sorry. The message you left for us to take from this is so beautiful and I believe in it 100% : Cherish the people in your life while they're here cause you never know when they will be gone. Great job on retelling the story,it really brought things into prospective for me.

Breanne Ha said...

This was an amazing story and I know it's never easy to lose someone you love. Way to stay strong and take something out of this great loss. She will never be forgotten because from what I've read, her legacy will live on through everyone she had an impact on.

Kira S. said...

I’m in such a shock. I am really sorry this had to happen to you and I’m glad you were able to overcome the sadness. I loved the use of diction and details in your writing since it added a second level of pain and understanding of your emotions in the situation. The way you said that you now cherish everything good and bad at the end really shows how you grew as a person from this situation.

Anonymous said...

This was such a heartbreaking story and I'm sorry for your loss. Amazing work with the words chosen and so much detail to express your emotions and there was no confusion at all, I could understand your story perfectly. Sometimes we have to go through experiences like these to learn from them and see the importance of appreciation of the people that surround you.

Jacob Higgins said...

Im deeply sorry for your horrifying and horrible loss. The way you stay strong and are able to gain a lesson and learn from a tragedy like this is truly admirable. Your strength and well scripture of this story is truly inspiring and I give my deepest condolences. - Jacob Higgins

Anonymous said...

First of all thank you for sharing something so personal to you,I personally know how hard it is to lose someone you love and cherish memories with. Also good job on the imagery you had when you enter the hospital.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes someone very brave to be able to write about and have relive something as painful as this. You did a tremendous job in the detail of the story and made it very easy to understand your pain and grief. Because you were able to share your story, it will open eyes everywhere so that they can also cherish the time they have. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family. You have a great message of cherishing your family while they are around and I feel that's something everyone should be reminded of.-Katera Perry

Nathaniel Alvarado said...

This story is such a heartbreaking reality that many of us have to face. I really love how you were able to express your emotions through your imagery despite the coping through the trip to Peru. I really appreciate how you were able to confront this sadness face on when visiting the hospital. You are such a strong person for doing this which further heightens your story as moving. I am sorry for your loss and such a great job! -Nathaniel Alvarado

Adrian Waterhouse said...

This story really touched me because we can all relate to a day going as planned and then something drastic happens that can affect us for the rest of our lives. I liked how you at the end talk about enjoying what you have now because you never know how long you will have it for.

Anonymous said...

Angio, this piece was utterly heartbreaking, but the way you chose to go about describing your perspective and the feelings associated with it was actually incredibly beautiful. I have never truly lost someone who was close to me so I can only imagine how you felt, although that in of itself begins to hurt. Effort should always be on everyone's minds. We need to always ensure that the people in our lives know that we love them and are there for them. I think you did a great job at captivating this message in your post. Thank you for sharing.

Linda Hung said...

First off, I want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. Secondly, the way you portrayed this event into words that so vividly described that moment is so wonderful. The clearness of your writing allowed for me to connect with your story. The attribute that you took away from this moment, as to cherish everyone and every memory, is very inspiring. Great job! -Linda Hung

Ariel Gutierrez said...

The tears that this brought to my eyes, I cannot fathom what it was like for you at this heartbreaking point in your life. I highly envy you for being able to deeply share this with readers, the amount of detail in this piece was well understood it was almost as if I could feel your grief. I am glad you were able to overcome this point in your life and now try to impact others. - Ariel Gutierrez

Vibhuti Purohit said...

I am so sorry that you had to go through this and I completely understand your pain. When something like this happens, it's hard to accept that it did happen and to get through it. You are a really strong person for getting through this and losing someone close to you.

- Vibhuti Purohit

Anonymous said...

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your lost. I remember opening Instagram and seeing all of the tribute postings for Dana. I have experienced some losses in my life as well. One of my uncles who I was so close to was a victim of cancer, and I was notified at school and it was so hard to face the truth that he was really gone. Great piece overall though, I really loved it!