*Beep Beep Beep*
I rolled over, groaning, knowing it was just another
Monday morning. I slowly rose from my bed, walking over to my desk where my calendar
hung, and crossed off another day. Sighing to myself, “Only 73 days til he’s
back.” He was my only motivation for getting up in the morning, for going to
school everyday even though I’m constantly bullied and picked on, I did it all
to make him proud.
I walked downstairs to see my mom surprisingly
energetic for a Monday morning. She placed a hot, steaming omelet in front of
me while smiling and saying, “honey, I promise it will get better. I have a
feeling today will be a great day.” I smiled slightly and grabbed my backpack
and headed for the door, knowing today will be just like every other day, where
I continue to be “the new girl that is always quiet and depressed.” Nobody
understands my life and the fear I have knowing that everyday he is in
Afghanistan fighting for our country, risking his life.
As I walked into school, I avoided making eye
contact with anybody (as usual) and walked straight to my locker, grabbed my
books and then headed to English. The day progressed like a normal, boring Monday
as I made my way through first, second, and third period. After third period,
we had a rally for homecoming that was coming up in two weeks. I made my way to
the gym and found a spot in the bleachers at the very top, in the corner,
isolating myself from all the other students.
As the assembly started, I began to zone out and
became absorbed into my own thoughts until I heard the principle say, “We have
a surprise guest here today, coming here all the way from Afghanistan…” All of
the sudden I became filled with anger and envy for the person who was lucky
enough to have their loved one back home and safe. The principle continued,
“We’d like to give a warm welcome home to Sergeant Alex Martinez.”
My heart stop and I instantly thought no it can’t
be, he’s not supposed to be home for another 73 days. But then I saw him walk
in through the doors and before I knew it I was running down the stairs. At
that moment I didn’t care what others thought of me or the things they said
about me behind my back, all I knew was that he was home. I ran straight into
his arms with tears running down my face and I finally felt safe.
The only thing I could muster out as I was sobbing
was, “Dad, you’re home.” After 367 days, my dad was finally home.
27 comments:
Bailey (Bgal), I loved this story. It reminded me of the video we watched in environmental of the little girl running into her mom's arms at the airport. It still blows my mind that thousands of kids don't get to see their parents for months at a time. I couldn't help smiling as the girl heard her dad's name announced. Nice work chica!!!
-Christina Tapia
Aww this story reminded me when my dad came home from serving our country in the Navy. I was in tears but tears of joy. It literally is the best feeling in the world to know that someone so special is back and is safe. Loved your detail and how you explained every precious moment! Great work! -Alexis Chiong period 6
This story was very great. It is upsetting how children can go a year without seeing their parent. But then again, their parent is a hero. It's usually bittersweet, but in this story it was very happy because she finally got to see her dad again.
-Leia S. per 6
WOW. I LOVE THIS STORY! I love stories about people coming home after serving our country and surprising others. It moves me to tears when i imagine how it is not knowing your family member is coming home, after not seeing him for sometimes years. It just softens my heart. Greatly written piece.
That was a really sweet story. I loved that there were little hints about the dad coming back, but nothing too outright or obvious, so it was still believable and surprising for the main character. I think my favorite part was how much the girl worried about her father. You could tell exactly how much she loved him, and it was so nice to see that she cared about her father and she was proud of him. The end made me smile so much. Great job!
awww that was the cutest story ever i love how it was zoo heartfelt good job!
This was the cutest story ever. I loved how you used imagery to describe what was going on. I liked the ending when the girl's father surprised her at school. It was cute and my eyes even got a little watery :')
Wow Bailey, this was really good! I really enjoyed how you conveyed the emotions of someone who is going through something like that, and you wrote it so eloquently that the end almost had me in tears! Little pieces like this just make me happy. Great Job!
Oh my gosh, I'm tearing up over this! You managed to get all the emotions of someone who misses their parent in such a small amount of words; not only that, I like how the dad came and visited her at school. This was really cute; I loved the subject matter and the way everything flowed together. Great job!
This was such a great piece Bailes, and my heart goes out to all the families and kids who have to wait in anxiety for their heroes to come home! You described her feelings so well, I could almost feel all her sadness as she trudged around school, knowing there was "only" 73 days left (73 days is SUCH a long time!), and then her absolute joy when she realized her dad was home. <3
First off, Monday mornings are always the worst so I'm sure we can all relate on that feeling. However, I didn't think the story was going to end like that.I was expecting a short story about a girl who gets bullied at school and fighting above it or something. The twist at the end was a great ending and that's all she wanted. Very well thought out and it was a joy to read this. Good job!
Aww, this is a really cute story! I really loved that you made her dad symbolize her motivation as not only a soldier fighting for his country but also as her father. I also love that you made this story so relatable to all those people suffering from having one of their loved ones away. It must be horrible to live with that fear of never seeing them again but also a great relief to see them come home. I really loved your piece! Great job!!
-Lucia Gonzalez
I really loved this Bailey! I always see the military reunions played on television, and I swear I tear up every time! This piece was written very well and it clearly showed how much she missed her father. Good job!
A heartwarming story, which also has strong central messages. Good read.
-Kevin McCondichie
AWH! This was a really sweet and heartfelt story! I loved how you were able to turn the story from this dark and depressing mood to a much more relieved, estatic and peaceful one. Monday's don't seem to bad afterall. (: Great job !
This story nearly made me cry towards the end. I have no personal connection to any of the armed forces. All I ever hear are second- hand accounts of what it is like to live with the gnawing fear of knowing that a loved one is fighting for their country. The imagery and minor details all helped emphasize the grand moment of two people reuniting through a sort of contrast between the details and the moment. Overall, it was nicely written and I enjoyed reading it.
This story reminds me of a collection of video footages of soldiers surprisingly returning home to their family on YouTube a while back. The families, although happy, cried tears of joy to the returning hero, like the girl did in this story. The details you've included about the girl's inner feelings truly depicts how one may feel without the presence of someone he/she cares very much for. Great ending! Well done!
-Hsing Chang
Aww this was so touching. It really made me realize how many people actually don't get to see their parents on a daily basis, which makes me so grateful for each moment I spend with mine. Your precise descriptions of the girl's day at school made the story and your message very clear. Great job Baliey! :)
Aww, this was such a moving piece! You really captured the joy and excitement and overwhelming happiness felt when seeing a loved one again for the first time in a long time, so much that I was getting all teary-eyed. I loved how you used every little detail to show how much the girl cared for her father. Every sentence you wrote had that goal in mind, and you executed it flawlessly. Really amazing job Bailey!
I love it. Absolutely love it! It sucks knowing a lot of kids have to wake up in the morning knowing their father isn't home, but fighting for their country. I love how you used narration because I think we can all relate to our mom's being a little over energetic in the mornings :) good job girl!
Oh I adore this piece! I foreshadowed the narrator's loved one's arrival when you wrote that the mom was "surprisingly energetic." I absolutely admire the girl for not having a care in the world to run to her father and embrace him. Great work Bailey!
-Hennessy Verduzco
Very touching story. I am not sure if this is based off of a personal experience but it seemed very real and personal. It was very well detailed, allowing me to visualize what was going on through this piece.
-Alan Medina
Period 1
Your piece was very enjoyable. It was heart warming through the emotions evoked in the character from the sight of her Dad. As soon as she came in contact with him, I was just as elated. I also liked the underlying message of not caring what people think behind her being reunited with her loved one. You did a great job.
Someone please explain to me while I'm crying right now. THat was so great Bailey I felt like I was that girl that felt alone and the longing for seeing my parents. You did such a fantastic job.
-Lauren Williams
I love this story so much ! You did an amazing job. I really liked it because of the way you described it and made me feel like i was in their shoes. I also really liked this because of what it means
Two military homecoming stories in the same month!! My heart can't handle it all! Haha. Bailey, your piece was so touching and heart warming. I loved the you wrote from the daughter's perspective and told how hard it was for her to live without a parent. Your diction and imagery made it seem as if I was walking through school with her and feeling her pain of not having her father there. This was amazing, Great job
I'm not usually the emotional type, but this got to me. I really enjoyed reading it start to finish. Most people cannot relate to the struggle and sacrifice some families make, but stories like this can make us understand just a little bit more. Fantastic job!
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