When you think of the month of February, a particular holiday pops into your mind. February is “the month of love” simply because Valentine’s Day falls on the 14th every year. For some, we enjoy the cheesy little holiday and for others, they see it as nothing special and just another day. Personally, I feel a great fondness for the holiday since it’s a day where you can express your appreciation for someone meaningful in your life in a potentially more extravagant way than you normally would.
For the last two years, I have had the same person as my Valentine. For people who don’t know me, the sound of having the same Valentine for the past two years may symbolize a happy and healthy relationship but to those who do know me, they know this was not the case at all. Our relationship was a complete mess despite what we tried to do to make things right. Shortly after our first Valentine’s Day together we were already dysfunctional. You would think when we realized things were not working out when we initially got together we would split ways and wish each other the best of luck but if you did you would be completely wrong. Have you ever felt like you loved someone to a fault? I know I certainly did. The idea that after all the work we put into the relationship and tossing it in the bin was just absurd for the both of us. We decided to just be friends again and our feelings for each other just hung over our heads for the next 11 months with fights sprinkled in between. Next thing I knew it was January of 2020 and for some reason we both reconnected and suddenly we were officially back together. Have you ever watched a movie for the second time and hoped it would end differently? That is the best way to describe getting back together with an ex in most cases. Things were great like how it was when we first met a year ago and Valentine’s Day rolls around once again and I find myself with a teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and flowers at her doorstep. Like deja vu, we fall apart a couple of weeks later.
Toxic relationships feel like the most difficult ones to get out of. I don’t have the guts to say that I ever regret the time I spent with her since at some points in time there was genuine happiness but she made me realize that it’s not worth fighting for a relationship just to be in a relationship. She made me realize that it’s okay to be single. I know it’s cliche to hear that when you’re single you get to work on yourself but it’s completely true. Personally, as I bounced back from our second breakup I picked up new hobbies, skills, and friends. She gave me the opportunity to reflect upon myself and I used that to motivate me to become a better person in general. Here we are in 2021 facing once again another Valentine’s Day. One should never feel pressured to needing a Valentine just for the sake of having one. If you have someone in mind I am not discouraging you to pursue them, I simply ask you to make sure you’re ready to take the time to get to know someone and attempt to try and build a healthy relationship with them. A bad relationship usually starts with someone who’s still carrying baggage from their last relationship. Sometimes we meet the right people at the wrong time. You may feel ready for your next attempt at a relationship but the other person may say otherwise. Patience is key and if you lack it, it may cost you down the line. I think I might just be a romantic but I love Valentine’s Day and this year I had someone in mind but I’m in no rush to get to know them so I sat out this year. Part of me thinks I am in a “met someone at the wrong time” phase since there’s a lot of stuff to work out with her but like what I said there is no rush. We are all still really young and have many years ahead of us so don’t feel pressured to find the “the one” while
you’re in high school. There are over 7 billion people in the world and you’re bound to cross paths with the right person in due time.
15 comments:
This was so perfectly spot on and I felt like I could completely relate to it. I myself was at a point of just holding on to a relationship because I didn't want to let go, but once a I did, a whole new world opened up! Really good job!!
I can say that I have gone through the same experience where me and my ex got back together after a while and during, I knew it wasn't healthy for both of us but great piece and I like how you said that there is no rush because we're still young and there's a lot of time ahead of us and I 100 percent agree
Amazing work! Honestly, relationships aren't super significant right now. We have a lot on our plate especially since we got our senior year taken from us. Thank you for sharing and there will always be someone for you out there. Keep working on you!
I think working on yourself and knowing that there isn't just one person out there for you is a good for thing for us as human beings. I think society makes it this big deal about having to be in a relationship and I feel, in many cases, I have progressed more when I am alone and focusing on me.
Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life with us. I think the pandemic has also constituted a lot of changes in "ships" whether they are friendships, relationships, or other relations. Things have definitely been very difficult. I hope you and your Valentine are both doing well.
Thank you for sharing this story! It relates to so many people dealing with issues in a relationship and how it can truly be hard to pull away from someone that you have been with for so long. Your story will help others know that it is okay to be single to reflect on yourself!
Im glad you got to share your story with us and it seems like you spent a lot of time getting better. I agree with your message in taking your time and I know getting out of a toxic relationship is really really tough. Thank you for giving another outlook, different from the pessimistic view of breaking up with someone. I like this tone of joy on a topic so often seen as sad. good job.
Thank you for opening up about your past experiences. I agree with you that we literally have so much time ahead of us. There should be no rush to get into a relationship because being single allows you to be spontaneous and just do you. It can also help form a better relationship with yourself.
This was very well-written, your piece communicated your growth in a way that was relatable to everyone. Also, your concluding sentence ties up your piece really nicely. Overall, amazing job!
That last line. yes. I have learned the hard way, just as you so bravely expressed, and have also tried to share this advice with some of my friends, but I think that it does not really make sense until it does. I don't know it that even makes sense. My point is, I am glad you have found your closure and have come to peace with the reality, which is not as bleak as we may think in the early stages. Great work!!
I really liked your story because it's your pov of how Valentine's Day has been for you. Also the last line was really nice.
I really like how you tell how Valentine's Day was for you. Also I really liked how you summed it up with one sentence at the end.
I really appreciated you opening up about your personal experience with a relationship that wasn’t working, and I really liked how you said that being single allows us the opportunity to work on ourselves and become better people. I agree that when it comes to relationships patience is important since you don’t want to rush into one. Great work!!
Thank you for opening up and telling us your story, I haven't been in a situation like that but I imagine I'd feel the same way as you.
I totally agree with the fact that being single is way better than people make it out to be, especially at this young of an age. Its important to realize that we have so much time ahead of us, and maybe that time is best spent learning to love ourselves.
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