Everyone has moments in their life that they have to be brave for. Like when you have to face your parents after getting caught sneaking back into your room from the most monumental Wednesday night party of your high school life or when you have to accept the medal of [insert miscellaneous award name] in front of the whole entire student body. In those moments you just have to swallow all your fears and put the most convincing smile on your face so you can stick to the status quo.
And then there are moments where you just can’t confess to the person you like no matter how hard you try. So you act as obnoxious as possible, hoping to get their attention, and end up being hated by the one person you really like.
Hi. I’m Q and I have a problem. Let’s call this problem L but it's reality, it’s how L feels about me that’s a problem.
The 10 Steps of Dating Someone Who Hates You
NUMBER ONE:
You would think because of all the movies being shoved down our throats about true love and relationships that we would be a generation that is willing to go to extremes to get that happy ever after right? Wrong. So very wrong.
I guess I can say this started when I was scrolling through Instagram and saw L had finally accepted my request. It wasn’t like I was checking every other day to see if the cute person from my chemistry class had finally let me see their page. Their first post was them at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Maybe I should give it a try, I mean if L likes it it has to be good right?
NUMBER TWO:
I can say that I am addicted to the Matcha Lattes from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf now.
But despite going there everyday before school, I still haven’t run into L. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’d run into them there and strike a conversation and suddenly they would fall in love and we would live ride off into the sunset with our drinks in hand.
Okay… too much? I just don’t know how to approach them. Giving a presentation in front of a class or a speech in front of judges seems like cake walk when feelings aren’t involved.
Maybe I’ll just try dressing better. I read in some magazine targeted for our age demographic that the best way to get someone’s attention without actually talking to them is to make a drastic change to your appearance and hope they notice.
NUMBER THREE:
This dressing better thing isn't working out. The whole point was to stand out but instead I just blend in with half of my chemistry class. L didn’t even turn their head. I mean.. I could just talk to them like a normal person and confess my feelings but that’s way too cliche. Plus the fear of rejection is too high so I’ll stick to my chances of them magically falling in love with me.
I just have to give them a reason to notice me.
NUMBER FOUR:
After doing everything I can imagine from dancing in the middle of lunch to taking art classes after school, I still haven’t impressed L. I’m starting to think they don’t even use Instagram because no matter what I post, they never comment on anything.
I did give L my calculus homework and they made a joke about them wasting all their time watching Disney+. I totally didn’t lie and say that I do the same thing. L started talking about WandaVision and I guess I found out what I’m going to be binging over the weekend.
NUMBER FIVE:
Even though L looks at me more often now, I still haven’t been able to get my point across. How exactly do you say “I think you’re amazing and we should date?” with just your eyes? L just so happens to tell the funniest jokes during chemistry but for some reason they still don’t want to eat lunch with me. I guess I can say we’re acquaintances.
A random Tiktok I saw the other day says that the best way to see if someone is interested in you is to watch their reaction when you get into a relationship. I think I can convince a friend to fake date me but will that finally make L realize their feelings for me? I can’t be called arrogant for assuming that the reason why L chose to sit next to my lab table is because they aren’t totally in love with me and they just haven’t realized their feelings… right?
NUMBER SIX:
L seemed pretty upset in our chem class. They moved away from my lab table and I couldn’t focus on halogens at all. I asked them what was wrong and I guess they had failed their calculus test. I offered to help study but L was worried I would be wasting my time instead of being with my significant other.
Maybe I should stage a break-up…
NUMBER SEVEN:
I officially ended my ‘relationship’ and L and I have been spending more time together. I find them in the same spot at lunch everyday and they seem to be nicer than usual. L is always asking me how I feel and if I’m okay. I can’t actually answer with the truth seeing as that I have never been happier, so I just tell them I’m “getting by”.
NUMBER EIGHT:
My plan worked. Those study dates turned into real dates and I get to see more of L’s smile. They're so blunt, it’s hilarious at times and frightening at others. I think I’m starting to understand them better though, so that fear of rejection isn’t too crushing anymore.
I can’t but feel a little happy when L gets annoyed over someone asking for my number. Still, I could have avoided making a clown of myself earlier if I had just spoken to them about my feelings.
NUMBER NINE:
Watching L get mad when I don’t call them my girlfriend is so entertaining.
I finally worked up the nerve to ask them out officially even though I still thought they hated me only to be surprised when they said yes.
NUMBER TEN:
I need to hide this better. I found L’s list but if they ever find mine I will actually get bullied by my own girlfriend. I’ll just let them keep on thinking that I “have the brightest smile” and not out myself as an embarrassing mess.
Despite being outgoing and social, people can still have fears that others deem impossible like being too shy to confess their feelings. The fear of rejection can cause people to bend backwards and do summersaults to avoid and I should know, I’ve been there. So many situations I’ve been involved in that have ended negatively were the direct result of not being brave enough to voice my own feelings despite being known as a chatterbox. If you’ve learned anything from this I hope it’s to not be like Q who was constantly making a fool out of himself, and instead to be brave in all that you do and say. It’s your life at the end of the day, you should live it as you like.
27 comments:
Wow! This was so beautifully written and something I know a lot of us can relate to. Fear is something so many of us face and we will literally do anything to avoid it. You put what everyone thinks into writing and I loved it:)
That was amazing! You really captured a lot of fears and put them into words! I love your closing statement! Great job! - Samantha Galarza
Wow! I was on the edge of my seat reading this, wanting to know how it ended up. The fear of rejection is something that can literally ruin people's lives. It takes such a rare courage to step out of your comfort zone and do the things you are scared to do. Great job on putting that into writing. Loved it!
Wow! This was a great story that was so beautifully written. This is especially true in today’s society that people feel the need to change themselves in order to be appreciated by others. Your message was so touching and inspiring, I’m so glad I got the chance to read this. I know this Fiction, but I have to agree that the Matcha Lattes at Coffee Bean are absolutely the best! I crave them everyday and I’m glad you included this in your story. Overall, I love the play on words in the title that’s similar to the movie “10 Things I Hate About You.”
Omg, I'm just speechless.... this was so good. I feel like you really just connected to tons of people because I know that I also tend to have a fear of rejection, so I just end up trying to hide from feelings from the person. It really does take courage to be the first person to step up and take the first step no matter if the outcome is good or bad. Thank You so much for sharing this!!! I really enjoyed it
OMG this is so quirky Shalom! I love it.Q and L are so cute together. This made me smile alot. Thank you chica!
I LOVED THIS SO MUCH !! I read L's pov last week and the way you made a second perspective off of the piece is so clever like please make a book. Your writing made me feel like I was reading one of my little coming of age novels, it was so witty but moving and emotional all at once, I loved this so much!
wow wow wow wow! I really really loved reading this. Firs of all, the title was definitely appealing. As soon as I saw it, I was immediately interested and read. I really like how you created the story and ended with the meaning you had behind it. I also enjoyed how you picked a topic that relates so much to what majority of us go through. GREAT JOB!
William James Smith III: WOW! I really like reading things that don't agree with what I believe in, as this opens up my mind and helps me understand others, as I am the type of person who is quite outgoing myself, and I prefer the more straightforward, although frustrating route of direct acceptance/rejection, and I definitely would not go for a relationship, or even a friendship with a girl that hates me even if she liked my looks. One of the other difficulties in relationships in general is the fact that you may be overstepping their boundaries or vice versa, so I can definitely see the argument on the more passive side of expression, but you never know!
I personally believe that we just need to make decisions where we ask ourselves beforehand in the worst case scenario, "can I be okay with myself a month, a year, 10 years from now, etc?..." if not, then don't do it, if so, go for it!!! :)
Great job! :)
William :)
I loved how relatable this was, especially from a teenager's perspective. I think rejection is something that can control someone's life, good or bad. Seeing this from your point of view made me realize I am not alone while going through that process.
AMAZING! I couldn't help but notice the parallel with "10 Reasons I Hate Q" written last month :), and i absolutely loved it! I found myself relating to Q on every level; trying to do certain, stupid stuff to get L's attention. By the end, I was thinking, "OMG Q just SAY something!" and this helped me realize that we don't have time to waste on silly stuff like that. We're growing up now, and it's important to learn to articulate our emotions, despite the fear of rejection. We have to have the mindset that if one door closes, another opens and like you said, we must be BRAVE!
this was so amazing! you explained so many fears so well it was crazy!! You seriously just put a lot of our fears into perfect words
I love your take on this topic! It is genuinely beautifully written and stands out because of the way you approached it. Rejection is so common and we often find it embarrassing but in reality, we are more alike than we think. We can often go to overwhelming extents to make someone notice us which sucks because someone should recognize our worth from the get go and we shouldn't have to prove it to them. You did a great job making this topic flow out throughout, so overall, amazing job.
WOW. This was amazing, like seriously amazing. I like you incorporated the steps because it felt like I was kind of reading one of those teen magazines from back in the day that gives advice on how to shoot your shot. Rejection is scary thing and is something I have gone through several times and up until this moment was going to keep from being honest with anyone in the future. I really took to heart what you said,"It's your life... you should live it as you like." because your right.
I truly enjoyed this story!!!!! It felt like I was reading my own diary because I have endured very similar situations HAHAH. I'm so glad that you stepped out of your comfort zone. You Only Live Once!!!:)
Ah! I loved this! This is so good! Everything that you wrote about is super accurate when it comes to the fears of rejection and how we'd go to great lengths to protect ourselves against it. This was written super nicely and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every part of it!
This is an an amazing piece, this perfectly embodies the the overanalytical and anxious mindset of teens our age when it comes to romantic relationships. Each little nuance that an individual does as a result of the attraction they have for another person is relatable and precise to reality.
This was an amazing read what I like about this piece of writing is how relatable it is. I think a lot of people around our age can relate to this. -Malachi Hawkins
Thank you so much for writing this! I found it really interesting that you brought up a topic of rejection which I feel that relates a lot in today’s society. That we often have the fear being rejected but in the end we should just state our own feelings and come to reality.
I loved this! I felt like I was reading the plot line for a teen romance movie on Netflix. Fantastic job!
This is very well written! I like how it represents the teen mind in a view point of dating. This is like reality hitting you in the face and honestly it nice hearing the truth about it and the accuracy it gives. Thank you for sharing! :)
This is so cute! It's a sequel to the other post last month. It's very enjoyable to read and I legitimately smiled while reading it! In a very creative format, you were able to convey the inner emotions of a poor love-struck teenager. Great job, Shalom! :)
Hey Shalom ! I really enjoyed reading your little sequel to Melissa's blog post last month. I think its cool that we get to see both sides of the story to the two characters. Rejection is a scary thing and I think you encompassed the fear perfectly through Q.
Something all teenagers do: create unnecessary situations. This is such an accurate depiction of how young people tackle the dating world. Thank you for giving a real perspective to some, maybe not so serious, challenges impressionable kids face. Nice work :)
This was such a cute story! I loved how it really appealed to our generation and how we handle these type of situations! Also love the message at the end. Good job!- Angela Carnalla
I love the way that this tells both the story, and also shows the internal struggle and sometimes fear to accept true feelings because of fear of rejection or being hurt. Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed reading it!
Ryan Mallon
The title really caught my attention. This was very well organized and easy to read.
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