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Monday, December 18, 2017

"I Saw Him" by Carianne L.


I couldn’t fall asleep that night. I mean, which kid wasn’t able to fall asleep on the night of Christmas Eve? Certainly no kids that I knew when I was younger. I was about 6 years old at the time, still full of childhood naivety and wonder. Of course I still believed in certain holiday figures such as the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (although, I don’t know how much she counts as a “holiday figure”), with my favorite being the jolly old Santa Claus. Going back to that night, it was around 1:30am and I still hadn’t fallen asleep yet. As much as my eager young self wanted to sneak downstairs and see if Santa had come yet, I knew that if I crept out of bed, my parents would surely hear me and give me a good scolding for waking them up. So instead, I drearily tried to fall back asleep and wait until morning. But then I heard it. A loud “thud” coming from downstairs. My heart was racing, and I knew in my heart that it could be only one thing: Santa Claus.
I raced down the stairs as quickly as I could, as to not wake my parents nor my baby brother, whose incessant cries would most definitely alert Santa Claus that someone was awake in the house. Once I got to the bottom of the stairs, I froze. I saw him. Well, I saw something behind our Christmas tree, although I couldn’t quite tell what. I tried sneaking towards the tree closer, as to get a better look at my holiday hero. But then I noticed something... off about the creature whom I believed to be Santa Claus. This...thing was almost as tall as our tree was. Now, with average Christmas trees that are around 5-6ft in height, this fact wouldn’t be so abnormal. However, my family were Christmas fanatics, so we had scoured as many tree farms as we could to find a tree that was 8ft tall. As I crept closer to the tree, I started to notice other peculiar things about the Santa Claus impersonator. He...it... was thin, like, incredibly thin. This thing was nowhere NEAR as large as the Santa Claus’s that are normally portrayed in the media. As I tried to get a better look at whatever this was, I accidentally kicked one of the boxes that was left on the floor, making a quiet, but noticeable “thud”. Whatever it was, its neck snapped immediately in my direction, and that’s when I got a good look at its face. It wasn’t human, definitely not. Its eyes were sunken in and blood red, and loose strands of grey, ragged hair fell lifelessly across its cold, twisted face. I had no idea what this was, but it seemed like something out of a nightmare. This cold, haunting creature slowly made its way towards me, like a doll being dragged by a child. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but I had no voice to do so. Once it got almost 6-inches in front of me, it looked me dead in the eyes, brought a ragged claw up to its mouth, and whispered, “Shhhhhhh.” In almost an instant after that, the creature was gone. Up the chimney it went, like your typical Santa Claus. I was left in total shock, unable to move. And then I woke up.
‘Thank goodness,’ I thought to myself, ‘It was just a dream.’ I looked at my alarm clock. 7am. My parents and my brother should be up by now. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could to see my entire family sitting on the couch waiting for me to wake up. “Good morning Nathan,” said my dad, “Merry Christmas!” I quickly put that horrible dream aside and began to open my presents. Everything seemed like a normal, happy Christmas morning. However, I noticed one thing that was pretty peculiar: the long, chiseled scratch marks by the opening of the chimney that hadn’t been there the day before...

15 comments:

Unknown said...

I expected the home invader to be the parents or the Grinch, so I was definitely not expecting horror. Loved how you finished on an open ending!

Taslima Ahamed said...

Whoa, in the beginning i was so curious to know actually who was it or was it actually a dream. I can totally relate to you, how when we were younger we had so many curiosity to see our super hero. I remember when it happened to me too, when i was so curios to find out how exactly a dinosaur look like in real life. Anyhow, I really like your writing skills and the way you explained your expression on the dream was amazing too. Good Job.
-Taslima Ahamed
-Per: 05

Anonymous said...

this is such a cool piece. It starts off as a traditional Christmas story but then it hits you out of no where! Great use of detail especially about the tree. Great Job!

Eddie Avila
Period 1

Amber Duran said...

This post was so captivating that I could not take my eyes off of it until I finally reached the end. When I did reach the end, I was left in more suspiscion as to if what Nathan "dreamed" was real or not. I was suprised as I read because I did not expect the supposed "Santa Claus" to be the creature you described. This story was very suspensful with great imagery and detail. Well done and I hope you can write a continuation of the story so we can know what truly happened!

Anonymous said...

So well written! I love how you told this story from an innocent kid's point of view that was so creative! I also loved the mystery created by the little details that compelled me to continue reading. Well Done!

Megan Jenkins said...

You did a great job on your piece! I liked the way you started off thinking the creature was Santa Claus and slowly realized it was something very different. I felt like I was there while the event was happening through your use of imagery.

Anonymous said...

I must say, I didn't expect this story to turn into a horror piece. Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, I did. I just expected this to be a typical Santa Claus meeting or maybe even the child finding their parents are the one's who drop off the presents the night before. The thing that intrigued me the most was the creature you described. Whatever it was I'm still not sure if it had any sinister intentions or if it was just your version of Santa Claus.The ending was a bit ambiguous and I love the mystery of whether or not the creature was real in the first place. It was a great story to read and I only regret not reading it during Christmas break to help get into the mood of things for better immersion.

- Justin Presto (Per. 1)

Unknown said...

Wow, what an awesome story Carianne Lefebvre! I loved how you transformed an ordinary, youthful story of catching Santa during the night into something made of nightmares! It reminds me a little of Krampus, did that folklore inspire you? Anyways, great piece keep it up, proud of you!

Anonymous said...

Carianne, this is a wonderful peace of work. I loved how you wrote it as you were still that six year old child and put a twist at the end. This, was truly great. Amazing job!

Unknown said...

I totally did not expect this story to take the turn that it did but I loved it! When I first started to read your story, I was agreeing with every statement you made from not being able to fall asleep on Christmas Eve night to your heart racing when you think you hear Santa. But when you started to say that there was something off about "Santa", I knew right then and there that this was not your ordinary Christmas story. Overall, you had me hooked throughout the entire story and I loved the ending when the speaker realizes that it wasn't a dream after all.

Ty said...

Eerie! What an interesting take on the concept of Santa Claus! I really enjoyed the details put into the description of Creepy Santa, and the similes you used to further the character. Awesome job!

Eliu Jaramillo said...

This was a lovely piece! It kept me reading and made it hard to take my eyes off of the words. I tried thinking ahead of what the strange creature would be and the only thing that came to mind would be the grinch, I was not expecting suspense and horror included in a Christmas story, good job!

Marcela Morelos said...

This was crazy! Your detail to the description of the occurrences allowed me to see what what going on with you as you had walked down the stairs. I had not been expecting this twist with the creepy looking figure being downstairs by the tree nor the ending with the marks visible on the chimney. Very interesting and great to read.

Unknown said...

I really enjoyed your post! The gradual darkening of tone and growing suspense really pulled me in. I absolutely LOVED the little cliffhanger at the end! Thank you for sharing!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, this turn quite an unexpected turn! When I began reading this I thought it was gonna be any old Christmas story, but man was I wrong. I love how much detail you put into the Santa Claus creature, it almost seems real! The entire story is one huge rollercoaster and I would love to see a continuation of this story somewhere.
-Jennifer Kirksey