There was
once a beggar that sat on the corner of Main St. He was blind and could not
work and so he would beg to all the lads and maidens who passed by the road but
no one stopped to pay attention.
Now there were
three brothers. They were always known for their pilfering ways. One day, they
were sitting by the best pub in town when a journeyman wandered there. This man
was tired from his passage but he stopped when he saw the old beggar. “Please
help me,” the beggar croaked, “Please!” The journeyman took sympathy on the old
man for he had once had to take care for his passed father before. The brothers
followed and saw the journeyman muttering to the old man, “Here, this should
last you for awhile.” He reached into his bag and handed the beggar a golden
bar. “Yes, the time has finally come.” the oldest brother whispered, “We will
finally be able to have anything we want!”
As the
twelfth bell of midnight rang, the brothers snuck up to the beggars sleeping
spot on the corner. The third brother was chosen to get the gold but as he was
wriggling it away from the beggar’s bag, it slipped. The old man then immediately
shot up and turned his head around. Reaching for his bag he realized his metal
bar was gone. “Hey, Hooligans!” yelled the beggar, “Give that back!” The oldest
brother yelled back, “Only of you can get it from us, old fool.” “You will rue
this day and Death will have his revenge!” the old man replied. Then the
brothers continued to other towns and eventually sold the gold bar to an
auction man for a high price. Soon enough, the brothers ventured out on their
own in search of a way to satisfy their dreams.
The eldest
brother traveled to a nearly city where there were many prominent figures and
challenged the ones who made him poor to a gamble. When he won he strutted
around flaunting his money to everyone in site. That night, a local thief snuck
into his room and killed him and took all his money. And so Death took the
first brother for his own. The middle brother decided to try and reclaim his
lost love who left him for his poverty. But she rejected him for she had
married and faithful. So the brother fell to depression and killed himself. And
so Death took the second brother for his own.
The third
brother, however, realized the wrong of their ways and returned to the town and
waited for the beggar. Day and night, the brother waited without food or drink until
he heard the old man; “You have returned.” he said. But the brother was blinded
by the sun and couldn’t see his face.
“You have
regained your sight?” the brother asked. “You can say that.” replied the
beggar.And so Death greeted the third brother like an old friend.
8 comments:
Yo Fred,
I like your 3 Little Pigs analogy here! Your story gave me a sense of karma as the brothers stole the gold from the old man and were able to be successful, but in the end suffered severe consequences such as death. However, one brother was able to restore faith in humanity and have the decency to apologize for his past actions. Thus, by doing so his conscious was not only cleared, but his life spared as well. Good job freddy :)
Tedman Nguyen
Period: 1
Christian Black
11/1/14
Period 1
Wow Fredrick this piece is incredible. The Syntax as a whole was the best part to me, it was set up as an old legend. A legend that any person could learn from. Greed and thievery never pays off, usually its the old saying what goes around comes around. That's exactly what happened to the two out of three brothers in this piece. However sometimes its to late to fix old mistakes but its never to late to ask for forgiveness. The third brother wasn't exactly lifted of his curse; but instead of dying a tragic death he died gracefully and honorably. Well done Fredrick!
I've seen many different version of this story but I really like yours! The sequence of events that occur in this story really set up the bases for the moral of the story. The first two brothers died in a terrible way, they were scared, unprepared and alone. There first mistake was not feeling regretful or sorry for there horrible actions. They died not only because of there action like the first brother flaunting his money attracting his murder or the second brother taking his own life, but because of Karma. Karma will bite you right in the butt. The third brother unlike his siblings did feel remorseful, he accepted his death with no fear because he accepted his past and knew he tried to make up for it. I enjoyed all your use of diction and descriptions. The dialogue between the characters as well was very impressive. It set the mood up for the story. Good Job
Evelin Conde
11/1/14
period.5
I really like the use of language in this text and how it makes it sound like olden times. The story was really captivating and intriguing and I like how in The end the brothers got what was coming to them.
-Jacob valdez
Period 4
To me, this story seemed like it would come out of an Edgar Allan Poe book; the dark setting, the revenge, the death, it played well all together. I enjoyed the ending and its irony with the three brothers falling and the poor blind man rising. It was a pleasant story to read.
Quite an effective allegory Frederick. It reminded me very much of the Tale of the Three Brothers, as seen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It has a good message and remains true to this day. I would make the sentences flow a little more if I were you, and perhaps add a few more descriptive words. Other than that, great work.
Andy Reinschmidt
it was a very good detailed and escalating story. I also believe that if one does wrong he/she shouldn't be surprised if something wrong happened. ☺
-Isaac G
per 6
This is such a familiar story that you made feel so original with your masterful crafting of the structure. It reads beautifully, and is a very powerful story. Great writing, keep it up!
-Rich Gaspers P.5
Post a Comment