I never understood how a friend of 10+ years can utterly break and destroy your friendship and trust in a singular day. Sophia, who was my best friend, was practically family to me. She would always come to my house, take me to her family parties, come to dinner with my family, everything. I once went to a party with her and she introduced me to a guy named Noah. Noah and I got along and decided to exchange numbers that day. After a few good months of talking to Noah, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I happily said yes without a second thought. Our relationship at first was full of joy and trust, but after a year into the relationship it started getting mentally and verbally abusive. Being stuck in a state of social isolation and having to cut off my friends because he didn't trust me. He began to comment on my outfits, telling me what I can and can't wear out in public, always looking through my phone, wanting to do things I never wanted to do. I never had the guts to actually end things because this was my first relationship, I didn't know my worth, and I didn't know this wasn't how women or anyone should be treated. Since Sophia and Noah were family friends they would always hang out and be together all the time. I never put too much thought into it because I trusted him then. After Noah and I dated for nearly two years I decided to finally end things with him. I didn't want to go through any of that nonsense he initially put me through. After two weeks of breaking up with him my other friend Anna came over to swim and told me that while Noah and I were dating he cheated on me with Sophia. My heart dropped, I felt like I could hear every heartbeat, everything was in slow motion. I felt so angry, worthless, but most of all I was heartbroken. I didn't think that the person I trusted the most would go behind my back and do such a thing. I wanted to confront her about it, but she found out I knew and decided to completely cut me off, and block me on all social media. I still wanted to be friends maybe in the future once all was forgiven but I never got a chance to tell her that. After some time I found myself getting into a new relationship that I definitely wasn't ready for. I began getting super insecure about every single thing and got to the point where he couldn't handle my instability and insecurities. He broke up with me because I was broken. At that point I just didn't know how to feel. It felt like my heart was shattered from all this heartbreak and I just couldn't take it anymore. I kept asking myself what was wrong with me, if I was just some doll boys can play with, but I mainly asked myself if I was enough.
29 comments:
It's sad but so easy to feel as though we (women) aren't enough for someone whether it's in a romantic or platonic way, but never forget to ask yourself "is this person is enough for me?"
Wow Sharleen, this just blew me away. I don't really know you but I hope you know that you are more than enough! you deserve better! stay positive and always look at yourself knowing that you are worth more than anything in this world.
Wow Sharleen! My heart dropped reading this. I have been through multiple times and there is absolutely nothing worse than the person you loved and trusted most breaking that trust. You are so much stronger for having gotten thorough that, but I am so sorry you had to.
Sharleen! Thank you for taking the courage to write about this. I am so sorry to hear about this! I know exactly how it feels to lose a friend, and honestly, it's the hardest heartbreak of them all. I hope you are doing better!
To begin, thank you for sharing your story with us, I know it was not easy to look back on experiences like these. Please always remember that everything happens for a reason, people will come in and out of your life for a reason. I appreciate the courage and hope you have healed.
Sharleen, I can't even image what you must have felt like during this situation. It's sad to see that a lot of women feel this same type of way or have been through this. I want to let you know right now... don't ever think that you are not enough or that you are not worth it because you are. As long as you live know that YOU are more than enough... your beautiful, intelligent, and know what you want in life. There is nothing wrong with you, its the other person who has something wrong with them.
Success truly does speak to me and I love everything you wrote, for it gave me a different insight! Being successful also means being happy, not just well off or luxurious. "Be with the things that make you happy when you have success" came to mind when reading your piece. Thank you!
Sharleen, I hope you know you are enough. No one should ever have to experience so much heartache. I love you and I know it's only made you stronger. Im always here for you and know you deserve all the happiness the world has to offer.
First of all thank you for sharing this with us, I know it can be difficult to share stuff like this. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, I can understand how that must have felt; to have people not be what you thought. I hope you have realized your worth by now, and when to stop accepting less than what you deserve from others. The fact that you could go through all that and still forgive your friend shows how much you have already healed, even if she hasn't, I think it's really impressive you were able to find it in your heart to heal from that. As for your writing, I really liked the way you wrote this, as if you were talking to yourself. It shows how much you kept questioning yourself about all these things that kept happening to you. I hope you know that you are not what happened to you, sometimes people hurt others because they haven't found peace within themselves yet, and I am sorry you had to be a victim of that kind of person. :(
Hi Sharleen. You don't know me, but I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you and you will always be enough. You are strong and I hope the best for you and your future relationships. Thank you for sharing this tough time in your life and I promise you everything will get better and there will be someone out there who will give you the love and cherishment you very much deserve. You are enough :)
I really love this piece. I like how you start with acknowledging that were were happy at first in your relationship and your friendship. A calm before the storm. I also understand the pain and confusion of being too sad to be alone but too broken to be with someone else. It's a tough spot to be in. For me, I heard voices and words telling me things I know I shouldn't think, but somehow it was easier than trying to be mad at someone else. In any case, the fact that your piece brought me to that place again and gave me those emotions shows it to be powerful and relatable. Great piece
oh, and it does get better. i promise.
I feel this on such a personal level... i grew away from my best friend pretty recently too so I understand how you feel completely. I hope you'll feel better soon...
Thank you so much for sharing, and im so sorry you had to go through that. It honestly horrible how some people treat the ones they "love". Just know that you are worth it and you are so strong! I hope you feel better and heal from this. -Angela Carnalla
Thank you for sharing this, I know first hand that heartbreak can be a devastating experience that can alter an individuals perception on relationships and love. I can relate somewhat to what you went through and my best advice for you is that you should not try to find your worth through people but through yourself. You have worth and so does every other person in this word, its up to you to discover it so you can mentally be prepared to take on a relationships. Once you yourself are happy on your own, find happiness to add to yours through other people.
First things first Sharleen, you've always been enough since you landed on this earth, okay! Second, I know sharing this story and kind of revisiting those past feelings was probably the hardest part of this assignment, but just know that I and everyone else is appreciative that you shared such a personal story. Lastly, the theme I got from this entry is teen relationships, which is a topic that is not talked about enough today, because don't know and choose believe that teens go through as much pain and heart ache as they do, so thank you for sharing this.
Hi Sharleen, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment in your life. No one should ever feel that pain or have their trust broken like you did. The fact that you were willing to forgive shows that you're an amazing person who doesn't deserve anything less than true happiness and love.
Thank you so much for having the courage to share this with us Sharleen, I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I can't imagine how hard it must of been, but I know you will come out of the situation stronger than ever. I believe in you. By the way, this made me feel emotions I didn't know I had, amazing piece, so proud of you Sharleen!
Thank you for sharing your story. Just know you are so strong and I hope you never go through the same thing again
This is something that many people can relate to and sympathize with, and although I don't know you personally, you should never have to ask yourself if you're enough. I'm glad you're able to share such a personal story with us, and we can all answer that question and say,"You are more than enough." These people's opinions and the value they put into you does not define you. You define you. That may have been hard to see or realize then or maybe hard to see now, but you're a person that's worth love and happiness and those aren't things that only another person can give to you. It's a great piece, thank you again for sharing :)
This was excellent Sharleen. It was very courageous of you to publicly discuss this and I applaud and thank you for giving us a well written peace that made you emotionally stronger.
Aw Sharleen, you are so powerful! The fact that you are able to speak about such a devastating time in your young life, is so inspiring and just shows your insane growth and maturity. I love you !! Please always remind yourself that you deserve everything life as to offer, and I'll be here reminding you of that too. I'm so proud of you. Great job :)
Thank you for telling your story! its horrible what happened and I hope you are or will be ok.
I loved this! I think it was very clever how you used narrative techniques, tangents, and complex sentence structures to demonstrate how lost you feel navigating broken relationships. I feel like you have a great deal of self-awareness of the flaws in your past relationships and gained a lot of valuable insight through writing this piece, and I hope that you can use the wisdom that you acquired to heal!
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you know your worth know girl don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I hope all is well now.
- marwa jamily
Sharleen, I first want to say that you are definitely more than enough, and you deserve happiness in life. The details of what you went through was described in vivid detail, and through your writing I could see how difficult that must have been. I also want to mention how strong you are for wanting to forgive and settle things with her. Thank you for sharing!
I just want to start off by saying that you are worth more than you can ever imagine. There is a bible verse that talks about this, and wether or not you believe in God, i believe it will bring encourgement. Matthew 6:26 says
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" No one deserves to be treated the way you were, and I know that this situation has left you feeling worthless, but I encourage you to be patient and let your heart heal. It takes time to understand our value, but it is so important to do so, especially when we give our hearts to someone else. Thank you for sharing and btw God loves you. :)
I've told you everything I felt about this over text, but I am SO proud of you for sharing such a memorable (maybe not in the best way) time in your life. You sharing your experience can and will help so many people, knowing they're not alone. I am so glad you know your worth and know that you deserved so much better. You're happy now, and that's what matters. Ily charlie 💖 I know your birthday was yesterday, but I hope you had the most incredible day :D<33333
Sorry that you had to go through that. Keep your head up and don't let the paste bring you down :)
Sharleen, you are absolutely enough. You in no way deserved any of what happened to you. Those people lost an incredible person from their lives, someone who will come back from this even stronger.
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