"The Second Half of Senior Year" by Kori Y

     In the days leading up to March 13th, I didn’t know what to expect anymore. Emails were sent out throughout the week informing students that we should be prepared for remote learning in case of a school shutdown. At the start of the week, I was fairly certain that the school wouldn’t shut down. Why would it when all the other times I wished it would close, it wouldn’t? However, as the week progressed, I grew more and more convinced that the possibility of the school shutting down was a considerable one. Then, March 13th arrived and the announcement came that the school was closing. To many students, the shutting down of school was probably a grace they’d get to experience only once in their life. Based on the reactions I heard in the hallway of the B building after the announcement, this seemed quite true.

     I was still a little confused about how I was feeling by the time I got home that Friday as I was overwhelmed with all sorts of different emotions. To be honest, I would’ve been lying to myself if I said I felt completely and absolutely opposed to the idea of not going to school for the next few weeks. In fact, there was a part of me that was relieved that school was “out”. Maybe then, that test that was planned for Monday could be rescheduled or I wouldn’t have to turn in that assignment I hadn’t started yet. However, I was also feeling lost. There was another part of me that hated the fact that school had shut down, not because I didn’t recognize the dangers of continuing to keep school open at times such as these, but because of the time I had left in high school that would slowly be slipping away. As I went to my room, I was already considering the impacts that this school shut down would have. It hit me that the school shut down would have a different impact for seniors that the juniors, sophomores, and freshmen just couldn’t understand. For us seniors, the time that we’d spend at home was time that was originally intended for us to close out our 4 year journey. As a result of the school shutting down, we wouldn’t be able to talk to the teachers that we had grown to respect and admire throughout the years, see our friends, possibly make new ones, and make our last finishing touches on the impact we wanted to leave behind. Before I knew it, my first week of distance learning had begun and immediately, it didn’t feel right. With no incentive to get up early in the morning and no school environment, I wasn’t in the mindset to focus on doing school work. Thankfully, spring break came just as quickly as the first week of remote learning did but unfortunately, it wasn’t much better.

     I sat in my room as the days of spring break passed by. There wasn’t simply a feeling of emptiness but one of confinement. Funny enough, it was one of the most peculiar feelings of confinement ever. Although spring break was here, no one was going out to malls or theatres or to each other's houses. There was no parent keeping me from going outside because I was in trouble. Yet, there was an invisible force keeping me inside. From what I remember, every day of spring break was a beautiful one with just the right temperature and good amount of sunlight. When I went out into the backyard, the air seemed pure and cooling while the sun brought warmth like how a campfire did on a chilly night. However, that was all I could experience from within the confines of my house. I would always find myself eventually returning to my room with a whole lot of time to let my thoughts wander. The outside almost seemed to be mocking me by deciding to bring such great weather while I couldn’t go out. The days eventually all sort of blended together. It didn’t matter much whether it was Monday or Friday or whether it was a weekend or a weekday. The date of the month didn’t matter much either unless it was for a due date to turn in an assignment. However, I still knew that spring break was coming to a close and I would soon be receiving more Google classroom and Remind notifications than I ever had. 

     Eventually, our return to school got pushed from April 3rd to May 1st and then the rest of the school year although I wasn’t surprised. Although this situation brought along a lot of inconvenience, it also gave me time to think, time that I never really had before while I still went to school. Until this quarantine, it had never occurred to me just how much I actually valued time at school. Time away from my senior year made me recognize that although I wouldn’t be able to make a few more last memories from the year, I did at least make some in the beginning of the year and those are the ones I should appreciate. A year ago or maybe even half a year ago, no one would have dreamed that everyone would be stuck inside for so long. Because no one ever really knows when events such as these will occur, it is important to cherish the times where you’re free to be out in public without worry or go to school and be with friends. All the time alone in quarantine helped me understand that we never really see the value of some things until it is taken away from us.

     I hope everyone is okay during this time and thank you to everyone from doctors to nurses to scientists to even your average everyday person for their efforts to make this situation better. Whether it be from treating sick patients directly, studying the virus, or simply social distancing, it is all appreciated.