"Dancing With The Stars" by David G

DISCLAIMER:​ THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT ME ​PURELY FICTION

      Look, if you thought this might be about the show. Not to disappoint but you are mistaken. I will skip the formalities of introduction because my name is not all that important. What I will say is that I lived most of my life seeing life in black and white. I grew up without parents and my aunt who took me in, goes on oversea business trips often so I usually live alone with her sending me money to help myself. I’ve always been alone. That's how it should be. I don’t really think people like me anyways because I don’t show emotion. The interaction I have between people, felt nothing, hanging out with people, felt nothing, every gift they gave me, felt nothing. I felt nothing.  I thought feeling nothing was normal, until it happened. I felt a sensation in my chest. My heart started to beat faster. What is happening to me? I was scared, I didn’t understand, but whatever display of images that bleed into my eyes truly was a sight to behold. The bright illumination, the brilliance, the beauty, It was amazing. The passion, the fiery anger, the sadness, the vastness. Is that what it is? Huh? Tears? But why? Is this what people call emotion? Sadness? Joy? No, it's both. The feeling of happiness, the feeling that my doors to my heart has finally opened. This feeling is amazing. I have never felt like this. I do not want to lose sight of it again. The feeling of sadness, the fact that I have felt empty for most of my life brought sadness to me. These emotions that have been sealed away for most of my life that makes the very fiber of a being together disappointed me. I started to see the world in true beauty. They way it was meant to be seen. I finally started to see the world in vibrant colors. I have found the river in the desert. No, I have found Earth within the vast universe. I was traveling in the emptiness of space, floating in nothingness. I didn’t know where I was. I lost all hope of finding sanctuary. Then I have finally found it. Mother nature's beautiful creation. The breath of life. This all happened after I went stargazing. Waiting till midnight away from the cities, I thought my life was coming to a close. Nothing in my life brought any emotions so I thought “What was the point of living?” There's nothing for me. I was always unmotivated, apathetic, isolated. Then I saw it. The North Star. The one thing that guides a vessel on its journey to discover the new land. The one thing that keeps ships going on the right path. Then I also noticed Orion's belt, the big dipper, the little dipper. Then the whole sky filled up with stars. But how did I realize what and where these constellations were? Oh I forgot. It was thanks to you. You were the one to guide me all along. I just never realized it. You were there for me every step of the way, but I thought your efforts would be for nothing. You confessed your love for me, but I thought there was someone better. You never gave up on me. I was stupid, If only I had realized that you have always been a part of my life from the very beginning. After that moment, I truly felt like I was Dancing with the Stars.  We spent our days together enjoying each other's company. Laughing together, hanging out together. These were the days we longed for. I can never be more grateful in my life that you have stuck with me all this time.   You have saved me. I love you.  One day you texted me to meet you in the hospital. She ensured that she was completely fine. Upon arrival to the room she told me to meet her in, She was the one on the hospital bed. She lied to me. She told me her mother was feeling ill and she wanted me to come visit. The first thing she told me was that she needed to confess something to me. This whole time she never told me she had a rare genetic disease. I couldn’t believe it. She never told me?
     “Why did you keep this from me? Why? Why! You should have told me! I could have prepared myself for this moment if you have told me beforehand! Why did you keep this from me? I don’t understand. I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” I couldn’t hold back my anger, my tears. I was scared. I was scared that I was gonna lose you that's why I lashed back. She explained to me “I really am sorry for keeping it a secret from you but I did it because I wanted to help you. I knew you were in pain and I knew I would hurt you more if I told you. If something happens to me I want you to know this. Don’t ever lose sight again. Even if I am not with you anymore. I will still always be with you.” A couple days have passed. I visited her in the hospital everyday but we couldn’t have conversations; it was mostly just small talk, long pauses of silence, and more small talk. One day as she was talking, it happened, she suddenly stopped talking. I turn towards her after looking outside the window. My eyes widened. I was in terror. I ran out to call the doctors. She was having a seizure. Many doctors ran into the room to try and save her. I was pleading, and pleading, and pleading that she will survive. What felt like an eternity, doctors came out and with the look on their faces, I knew she had passed away. She left me alone. By myself. This is how it should be. My world is once again black and white.