June 1st 2014 in East Los Angeles, just an everyday Saturday in what people would call
the hood. It was a hot and sunny day, the cars driving by the dogs barking. I was 12 at the time
living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 6 people, not ideal conditions, yet I couldn’t be happier or
more grateful with what I had. My family of 6 plus my cousin who was staying for a couple of
days, decided to walk to church to avoid the crazy L.A traffic. It was only 5 blocks away so it
wasn’t that bad. We got to church, enjoyed the service and bought some corn in a cup from our
favorite street vendor Mr. Juan. Like I said it was just like any other Saturday, until it wasn't.
Being that we walked to church that day me and my cousin decided to leave earlier than my
family because they were talking to the priest, which meant a 30 minute plus conversation. We
ended up taking a shortcut which meant we had to take, what my community called “the ally”. I
was constantly getting warned about the ally because of all the gang violence and drug deals
that my parents heard happens there but being the stubborn 12 year old I was I decided to
ignore what my parents told me and continued on. My thought process was that they wouldn’t
hurt me or my cousin we were just kids, so we proceed through the alley. The alley was fairly
long, it was about 2 blocks but 2 was better than 5. The alley was empty as we walked so I
wasn’t worried, in fact, the thought that anything would happen to me went away by the time we
walked our 1st block. The second block was where all that worry came rushing back like blood
in your leg after it falls asleep. We were about a quarter of a block away when 2 guys approach
me and my cousin, these guys were about 16-17 years old, like 5’10-5’11 and fairly muscular,
which to a 12 year old was terrifying. I tried to walk around them knowing in the back of my head
they would never let me by. One of the guys ask me where I’m from, so I tell him “I’m from
Cypress Street”. They both laughed and looked at each other as if they were telling each other “
You thinking what I’m thinking”. I waited for what would happen next for what felt like 30 minutes
but in reality was 30 seconds. When one of the guys walked behind us and the other pulls out a
knife preventing us from running.They ask us to give them everything we had. My cousin didn’t
have anything on him but me on the other hand had a Gameboy that my grandma had got me
for Christmas. It was so dear to my heart that nothing would get me to give it up, not even a
knife, but one of the guys saw it in my pocket and asked me to “run it,now!”. It took every little bit
of courage I had in my body to tell him “ NO, NO WAY”. This really got them mad and caused
them to charge at us. The guy with the knife swung it in my face to try to scare me, but my
cousin pushed him off so we could run but when he pushed him away the knife cut me in the lip.
It was a really bad gash, my lip was split in two and started to gush out blood. I was on the floor
screaming with a puddle of blood around me. The 2 guys ran so they wouldn’t get caught, and
my cousin started yelling out for help. I started to get dizzy and my eyes started fading in and
out. The last thing I remember was seeing the flashing lights of the ambulance in front of me
and thinking about what my family would think. Several hours later I wake up in the hospital with
a weird feeling in my lip. This was from the 12 stitches they used to close my lip. I was so lucky
that that's all it was just a couple stitches it could of been so much worse. I turned to my side to
see my family there waiting to see me. Once they saw I woke up they rushed in and the first
thing my mom tells me is not if I was ok or how I felt, but “ I told you never to walk through that
ally” and smacked me in the leg. Out of love, of course, I could tell they were all incredibly
worried about me. But If there Is one thing that I learned from this crazy experience it’s to
always listen to my parents and that no object is worth your life.
32 comments:
First off, I am glad you are ok! The writing and set up was really good, and all though short, it was concise and the anticipation was unmatched. Good use of imagery as well, I felt as though I was there in the alley with you.
Uh, wow, I didn't expect this story to go this way, my first impression is frankly I don't believe it's a real story but I can see it obviously happen, and with the rather unique description of everything it actually seems real. It's crazy how it is like in the "hood" huh, but 16-17 with knifes and muscular, that's a quite rather thought I didn't think I would have to imagine, considering we're like at the same ages so far but no one from our school would be seen like those two. Anyways, In my personal experience, since you got away with your gameboy and your life, it's definately a win because those gameboys back in the day are really precious afterall at that age and time, and it had sentimental values as well, if you had handed it over to those two, you were never seeing that thing ever again. But the other thing yeah, at an early age listening to your parents that's pretty important yeah, we learn and educate ourselves so we can make better decisions in the future as adults, so it's an experience that's made you smarter and stronger. Crazy experience with the knife though, definately unfortunate that you got hurt in the chaostic swings by accidents.
I can only imagine this was an truly terrifying situation to experience as a 12 year old. Everything that you did to get out of that situation was an absolute brave decision that you made, knowing something of the worse could happen. Thank you for sharing that experience with us and being so brave to share it.
I really enjoyed how you told your story. I love how you brought it back to listening to your parents because in life so many things can be prevented when listening to our elders, which have lived through much of these things already. My father tells me many stories similar to this one and many go back to a similar lesson. I'm glad you're okay! -Dahrien Trotter
Your story is both fascinating and terrifying at the same time. As a reader, I could sense the emotions and feelings that you felt that day by the way you expressed the story and vividly describing every detail that took place. I also like how you included what you have learned from this horrifying experience so the learned could not only enjor reading your piece but also take a lesson from it.
I'm glad you're better now! And your insight on the pressure you felt as a 12 year really illuminates how scary you must've felt at the time. The way '30 minutes' felt like '30 seconds' really emphasizes how in-the-heat-of the moment you were. Great story!
Awe-inspiring! As I read through your story, your usage of syntax variety to depict the scenario you were in. The long walk to the short walk in the ally to the sudden attack put me in your shoes. Events like these shape who we are and you taught a lesson that our parents try to teach us everyday: TO LISTEN lol. Great story!
I can't even imagine the amount of fear you had at 12 years old. As I was reading this, I felt scared for you and your cousin since you were both very young and the people that you were up against were basically adults. Every time we have hung out, I've always wondered how you got your scar, but was scared to ask how, but now I know that traumatic experience you had at such a young age.
Wow, this is such an interesting story! You told this really well and put the reader at the scene, i cant imagine how scared you were. I couldn't help but laugh at the part about their ages, 16-17 year olds were so scary when we were 12. Great job!
This story had me at the edge of my seat, especially when you were talking about how you wouldn't give up your gameboy. I'm glad that you made it out of this situation alive and learned valuable lessons throughout this experience. When you talked about how stubborn you were it kind of reminded me myself as a young kids, so you did a good job at making some of your story relatable.
That would be a really scary thing just by the age that you had at that time. Also even tho that was not the best decision to make I'm glad that nothing worst happen, and that your gameboy was safe to.
It is clear that God was watching over you that day because, as you said, it could have been much worse. The way you wrote during the terrifying incident illustrated a perfect picture of each instance which left me with lots of suspense and then resolution when you saw your family there beside you in the hospital. You are right. When it comes to safety, your authorities know best.
I agree with your conclusion, because as kids we have a tendency to be stubborn even when we often know our parents intuitions are right. This to me was a perfect example of how we live and learn from our mistakes. I was fond of how you started your writing by creating a picture of just a typical day. -Lauren White
Oh my god I cant even imagine how you must have felt at the moment. If I was in your situation then I would have probably just done whatever they wanted. you got guts standing up to them!-kate sainz
Wow!First off, I'm glad you are okay, but wow did this story have me at the edge of my seat. I was waiting for you to say that you reluctantly gave up your gameboy, but No! you ran for it and that was not only brave but also must have been terrifying. Great job - Isabel Quintanilla
First off, I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm super glad you're OK now but Wow! This true story is absolutely breathtaking. From the beginning to the end I was very enthralled by your writing. Your use of imagery made me feel like I was truly there with you. Great job Daniel!
The fact that you were just 12 in this story makes it even more unimaginable. I'm glad you are okay and didn't end up getting even more seriously hurt. I enjoyed the way you told the story in the way that you made it seem more visible and easy to picture. After that incident you now know to listen to your parents even when you don't want to because in most cases, they know what's best for you. God was really looking out for you and made sure you were okay so you can tell others your story. After reading it, you made me want to be more careful and take more precautions with where i go. Overall, really great story telling and visuals. 10/10 :))
I genuinely can't imagine how I would have reacted in this situation at the age you were at the time. Thank goodness you made it out with only a scar AND your gameboy. I'm glad a valuable lesson came out of this. -Cassandra Jimenez
Though such a life-threatening experience, I do want to point out (and admire) your introduction to your piece: the gratefulness and beauty you saw as a 12 year old boy simply from the unity of your family on a, what seemed to be, a regular weekend. This provided a sense of extra comfort before you began elaborating on the incident, which was re-addressed in the lesson you admitted to learning. I bet such an occurrence humbled you and I absolutely respect your recognition of life under the hood.
The piece really spoke to me in such a way that no other has. It comes to grips with the reality of a lot of low income brown and black communities all across the country. The crime and drugs truly ravage the streets. However, I also know how it feels for all of that to just be the norm and the way things are. Your courage at such an young age is truly tantamount to your strong personality today. Your ability to convey that in your writing is truly such an awesome gift.
I loved the use of imagery and how it felt realistic as if you took the audience on a journey through this moment in your life and made it feel as if we were there as well. I also loved the moral of the story and how no object is worth your life.
I respect how you decided to share your story, not only that but the way your were able to describe the entire situation so vividly. The day, the alley, your family, I was able to see a very in depth image with your words. Good story man. -Cedrick Martinez
This was such an amazing and inspirational story and i'm so glad that you were able to get through this time of your life. I really liked that you used a lot of suspense and even though you went through all of this stuff you still kept a positive mindset. -Ariana Hernandez
This story really kept me engaged and was well written with great detail. Scary experience that was able to give a life lesson. Things could have ended a lot worse than it was, and I know from experience too, so I'm glad you're okay.
Your storytelling in this piece is really amazing and taught your readers a valuable lesson. You have a lot of courage to stand your ground to protect you and your cousin. Your storytelling made the reader feel like they were right there in the situation as well. This is a very valuable lesson that anyone can learn from. This was overall a great piece! - Yuan Maneje
This was a truly vivid writing. It must have been terrifying for you to have experienced that, however I am glad you are okay. The syntax and detail helped draw me in and help me to picture the event as if I were there. The lesson learned in your conclusion is very valuable. Great job. - Jaeyeon Romero
This was a great story. All the details you used really gave the story more intensity. And I agree with your conclusion. Especially when we're that young, we think we know more than our parents and we think they just try to bother us when they are trying to guide and protect us. Good job!
After reading this I was appalled at how you confronted those men as of nothing had it been me I would’ve give them the game boy. It goes to show how when your adrenaline is running anything is possible. Glad you are okay, loved how articulate you are.
I could only imagine how much it took for you to share this story and to only be 12 years old wow. I'm really glad that you are okay. I do agree with the last part thought because I know that for some kids to understand the severity of something, they put themselves through certain predicaments.
When I was reading this I was thinking wow I can't believe this actually happened because these are the type of situations that you hear about that happens but don't really believe until it happens to you changing your whole look on the world. As well as at the end it made me laugh about what your mom said that because it sounds a lot like something my mom would've said to me. Really great piece! -Jessica Q
I really like your courage for expressing such a story like this. This must've been scary due to the fact you were so young and although this was traumatic story it was told really well and the imagery really had me scared for you and myself. Great job
The fact that I used to live in East LA as a child makes me relate to what you saw when you were 12. Luckily for me, I was never in that situation, but I was also warned about going into certain areas, such as the alley because of the dangers it posed. Your writing was very rich in description and it provided sensory images for those who didn't experience this.
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