Find the shape and tell it!
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
"Let Me Wear This Fake Smile" by Bridget O
Let me wear this fake smile, that conceals in me a true sadness. I wonder if anyone else sees it,
the thought of angst consuming my innocent mind. Concealer to brighten my somber skin. Blush
to give my sunken cheeks some false form of radiance. Mascara to open my sleepless eyes.
Lipstick to make fuller my sullen lips. Draped over my body, another spacious sweater to cover
my concave shoulders. All this, and yet, it will not dispose of the tragedies that lie within my
weak frame. No amount of concealer will cover my somber skin. A heavy hand of blush could
not make fuller this emptiness. Several swatches of mascara can not bring light back into nor
bear coverage of the sadness within my soul. A tinted lip won’t produce joy and laughter. No
article of clothing will raise the hollows of my hope. All this I know, and yet again, I take a step
back to look into the mirror to see how well I have masked my true form. I see no reflection of
life. I have no more will to float around as a ghost just hoping to make it back into the lightless
sheets of my bed. A lifeless vacuity, not contributing to the universe nor adding to the lives of
others. My existence, senseless and long succumbed to the darkness of this prison I call my
mind. In this moment all the power within me that has secured my strings of sanity have now
snapped.
As if the emotional state of a human can be reproduced onto a small scale of 10 numbers and
faces gradually descending from happiness to complete gloom, the doctors ask that I point to
which number and face reflects the true emotions of my heart. My memory is muddles by the
drugs forced in my body, inadvertently turning me aloof and immobile.
Glassware shattered, curtains and blinds torn off the wall, furniture out of place. Then restraints
on my body to prevent further destruction, leading me to this very moment. Dressed in a pale
blue, thin, backless dress incoherently deciding which number and face shall represent my
emotional state.
Something about these hospital walls brings me feelings of comfort and security, for I am now in
fear of what I will do when alone.
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63 comments:
This speaks to everyone on a personal level, I dislike how sometimes we're afraid to express the way we're really feeling, on the outside everything can seem all grand but everything on the inside tells a different story. We have to be real with ourselves and our surroundings. Great job, I found myself solemnly relating with this from my own experiences and from the experiences of people around me.
This idea of hiding who we truly are is very relevant at this point in our life. I find a lot of people feeling 'pointless' and 'senseless'. Your story is written very well, The details allow me to visualize this scene in my head. Also, it is very dramatic which makes it a very interesting, and entertaining read. Great job!
Wow this is probably one of the best pieces I have written. Not only was my interest immediately captured, but I loved how I was able to relate to the content. As a teenager I feel like I never belong and often times how you described yourself to feel in this piece. This was incredibly personal and I love how you were able to just open up and face reality because for most this is the hardest to do in writing.
Brilliant job! Your title lured me from the start and it hooked me in even more when you started your story with the title. I love how some of the sentences were very short and blunt, for it was a wise use of syntax and it added a dramatic effect to the entire piece. This piece had a serious tone that kept me interested and my desire to continue reading only increased as I read. Overall, great work!
Wow this is beautifully written. The title of your piece was very intriguing to read and details you added grabbed my attention as I read through. I know personally what it is like to conceal in what your're feeling to make it through the day and feeling trapped inside through mind. Great piece!
I started to read this story because the title of it was incredibly interesting. I knew it was going to be a deep story, however the meaning of it definitely lived up to more than what the title implied. I could somewhat relate to the idea of hiding ourselves, because of this face that we have to put on when we're out in the world. Your choice of diction definitely enhanced the story and made the imagery and feelings of the narrator more realistic and easier for the reader to relate to it.
This piece was really well-written, and there was a wonderful use of diction and detail. The somber tone kept me reading and I simply wanted more. Great job!
By the title, I assumed this piece would be about conveying the speakers struggles & their right to cope with it in a way that just so happens to mask their true feelings. The way you used makeup to detail hide the unhappiness in their face, and large sweaters that encompassed their hollow shoulders, added to the overall tone of the piece. It was also interesting how you brought up emotional states as a scale of 1-10 and how our minds are much more complex than this mere interval. I enjoyed being able to relate to some of the emotions brought up in this piece, and the imagery. Great job!
The way that you portrayed this character in your story is amazing and I love how you show how the mental health system works and how corrupt it is by using a 1-10 interval. You have also shown it is very important it is for a person to express their feelings rather than bottling it all in. Thank you for sharing your story.
The title of this definitely intrigued me and made me want to read but the story itself was more powerful than I expected. You boldly exposed whats wrong with today's society and put into words what a lot of people don't have the guts or passion to do so. In the world we live in you have to look perfect, pristine, and unaffected by the constant hurdles people, especially younger generations, are forced to face like social standards. You did a wonderful job of conveying the message that everyone has gone through things and the way they act in public may only a facade they put on to mask the true unhappiness they carry with them. Really good job.
Your piece was so insightful to how corrupt and unforgiving our society really is. It really brings to light how individuals have this belief that we must fit into the common opinion of society and if we don't follow the ideals then we will be shunned. However, one must attempt to contradict these standards and be themselves no matter what others think. I love the use of the fake smile, because there are times where we have all worn one which made it easy to relate to. I really enjoyed your piece.
Wow, using makeup to hide pain internally instead of externally is something I haven't read about before. This writing was definitely not common for any reader and has stood out to me in this months writings. Great metaphors and comparisons great job.
I was truly impressed with your use of imagery to describe parts of the speaker's face and the eloquence of your writing. This story was powerful because you might think that someone is content by just looking at them but a lot of the times they are hurting on the inside. Great job with this story. Anyone can relate to this.
This piece was really touching and is relative to so many people and how hiding emotions is so common. I enjoyed the detail of how you use makeup as a mask to hide your true feelings. The imagery was also well detailed and connected with how you hide your emotions.
The metaphors and imagery used in this story was outstanding. I like how you compared the smile to broken glass and explained the real truth people have in this world. You can never judge a book by its cover and you should never assume everyone is happy. Thank you for this post!
You are such an emotional writer and person, this piece is so strong due to how well you can portray that through words. Also with such a deep yet relate able topic to high school students, many may relate to wearing a fake smile. The strong shift at the end flows nicely as the thought process of the speaker enhances.
I absolutely loved this piece, its very easy to see that we all can relate to this piece. Our generation is so focused on fitting in and who has the most expensive clothes, makeup, and cars. Rather than focusing on the outward appearance and materialistic things, we need to be focused on the people and who they are and things not many people know about that person. Besides the point is we can do so much to our appearance, but it will never change the feelings we have inside of us. Amazing job B.
I love this because I know you and I know how you always have the worst days but still tend to try and put a smile on your face like nothing bothers you. It shows to never judge someone by first appearance because everyone is different good job Bridget!
Wow this is very deep and in a way pretty dark but honestly a lot of people are able to relate to the feeling being fused out of this piece of writing. I enjoyed how you have a lot of imagery and description in the beginning of the piece and through the whole piece. This helps us all see that maybe sometime a lot of people look like they can be happy or everything is ok but truly they feel so alone and secluded inside. Thank you for sharing with us this piece of yours that is personal and relatable is was really good.
This piece was so deep! I really love how you used the dark imagery to explain how the sadness in you can never go away. I also got the chills with the last line how the hospital walls comfort you. This was such a great piece to read and know how most people don't seem as happy as they say they are. Thank you for sharing!
This story hits every person in every emotional state. The use of the heavy and dark imagery gave your story such depth and personality to the narrator. Great use of metaphors and I loved how you pointed out various makeup items to develop the idea of the makeup hiding the torn face. Lovely story, great job!
I really enjoyed your uses of various imagery and similes, it sets the mood for the story and gives the story much more depth. It was a well thought out, well planned, and well written piece of work.
Well, reading this story made me think about how I've noticed the way that a lot of people act when they put up a front about how their lives are. I'm really glad this is just flash fiction and not really about you otherwise this comment section would be a lot more different. Written well and overall a fun piece to read.
This piece was very in depth about our experience from day to day in hiding our true selves. The imagery is powerful in how it conveys this and very effective too. It gives the reader something to relate to and a sense of hope since they know they are not alone in their endeavor to hide themselves.
Bridget, this entry was amazing! I was first intrigued by the title as it opens a huge world of possibility and readers don't truly find out what the story is about until the end when you mention the hospital. The writing style and devices used throughout this piece are truly indicative of an intellectual author capable of such sophisticated technique, so I praise you for your great writing skills! The imagery and specificity of detail throughout the entire piece kept me engaged and I'm sure many other readers felt the same way. Great Job!
I truly feel like this story can apply to everyone at least once in our lives, the way we put on a smile to conceal how we really feel on the inside. And you spoke out about it in such a descriptive and accurate way that allows me to feel empathy towards the speaker. Towards the end of the story, I also felt it really interesting how you showed the consequence of her concealment and what she faces now after she doesn't have to deal with hiding her emotions anymore.
I loved the imagery of this piece and the amount of emotion that was put into it. It was a creative way to describe how one may go about covering up their true emotions and making themselves up to be someone more ideal to them. Great job! It left me wanting to know just why she ended up into the hospital.
This piece is so cool, I love the way you used language to depict something as profound as emotion. The message you send is really relatable too, good job!
-Stephany S
This piece was crazy, but so real. its kind of terrible the pain people go through and suffer through yet just throw on a happy face and seem like everything's okay. Great job on the diction choices, it sounded fantastic!
This is a very powerful piece, it is full of depth and a has a sad story to tell. The diction and word choices help convey a very sorrowful tone...Overall it is a great story and tells a lot about the struggles that many people face.
I can relate to this story as I don't show my true self much on the outside than I am I home. Your writing style and use of techniques are unique in a way that gets me intrigued as this applies to me personally. This piece shows the true meaning of emotion and true self. Overall, a very nice piece to read!
You are such a good writer Bridget! The emotion and detail made the story really interesting. I liked your use of imagery. I feel like everyone has been able to relate to this at some point in their life. Really good piece!
Wow Bridget this is a well thought and beautifully written piece that gives an impression to how details and imagery can impact a literary work. I especially liked how each personification was of a specific feature and well established. Well done !
This piece really touched home with me. This concept was well thought out and it was something different. This made me reflect on my own experiences and how i throw on a smile on and pretend everything is okay when things are not. All in all a unique and thoughtful piece!
WOW! This was extremely powerful and I feel like I can relate to it on a personal level, you have some great writing skills, you really had me intrigued and it was great. Your story made me feel some type of way, that I cannot explain. Great use of detail and diction, I am still thinking of how well structured your story was, every detail and description you gave, fitted right in.
Wow this piece was amazingly dark, and deep and yet held what I can only believe to be truth from so sufferers of mental illness. This was descriptive and felt as though I was peering into the mind of someone who is forcing themselves to go through the motions. And the way this has been written even caused me to read it at a slower pace that I couldn't really speed up only adding to the effect the words hold. This piece feels so real and I am so impressed. Great job!
This piece is so powerful and deep. It is amazing how well you described mental illnesses with so many details. It was easy to understand and it flows very smoothly. This writing is so powerful and full of raw emotion that it is easy for any reader to easily empathize with it. I'm sure this is an emotion felt within man students but you were able to capture the gist of it for the others that don't get it.
The title definitely drew me in to reading this. I loved the detail and diction used in this piece, you get a very dreary tone which helps sets up the plot of this story nicely. I definitely could relate to this on a personal level and I loved how unique this was!
I liked all the makeup imagery you used when you wrote about covering things up on your face. It helped with visualizing what the narrator was doing and going through. Interesting piece, haven't read one like it yet. I enjoyed it, it's always nice to read something a bit sad to remember that life isn't all sunshine and butterflies like a lot of people make it out to be, even if it looks that way on the surface.
GREAT PIECE! i was hooked into reading this from the first line alone; There was great imagery that showed the way your feelings are covered and concealed from others. I really enjoyed this piece because it shows that the happiest, most heartwarming people could very easily be the exact opposite on the inside, underneath all the "mask"
This piece held such deep meaning and the style that you used really had a big effect on the story. It made the story much more serious and dark. your description of the girl and her body language was amazingly descriptive and I really enjoyed reading the piece.
I can relate to having to mask my true feelings in order to get through the day. I love your style of writing and the examples you have to express how you felt. Great job.
The title of this piece is what initially grabbed my attention, but the piece itself left me wanting more and more! Not only is this piece beautifully written, it is also one hundred percent relatable for most of us at this point in our lives. All we want is to feel content with ourselves, however the truth is we all have insecurities that we try so hard to mask. I really loved how you used makeup to vividly describe how you "mask yourself" because it gave a meaning to each flaw you were attempting to cover up. The whole message of this piece relaying how we may mask our insecurities on the outside but they will always lie on the inside is amazing and your writing skills are even better!
The tone of this piece was very dark, but realistic. I could definitely relate to the action of wearing a fake smile. Although something may be bothering me, i'll ignore it and pretend as if everything is okay. Some people misuse a lot of words, but you had an expansive vocabulary throughout the piece that was very proper. Outstanding job, you're a great writer !
Wow this is such a powerful piece! I feel that we can all relate to trying to cover up or conceal who we truly are or what we truly feel. This dark and somber tone only contribute to the hardships that this character must have endured. I also liked the example of the faces on a scale from 1-10. It made me think of human beings all having their different phases, and depending on that phase, will determine how we present ourselves, or conceal ourselves which I feel that we can all relate too. Overall, great piece!
I loved how realistic and relatable this piece is. Your use of imagery to describe how we hide and mask our true feelings are spot on. Overall, I enjoyed this piece!
This piece shoes so much depth. It was a seamless piece that flowed well and always maintained the reader's empathy and attention. Thank you for writing such a powerful piece and sharing it with the world so that people can better understand that there's so much more under the surface that they can't see which is so unbelievably important. What a piece Bridget!
Nice story very spooky finishing line, loved the way you used diction in a way that made simply things like putting on makeup elegantly gothic I guess it was really cool
Very nice story. Very deep and emotional, the story had a nice flow to it that made it easy to read. I really enjoyed the depth you used. Thanks for sharing
-spencer
The title caught my attention immediately because I know many of us do the same thing. It's so easy to mask our inner emotions with makeup and clothes and friends and everything we're expected to have in order to "fit in" and be accepted by those around us, and you really portrayed that in your piece. Great job.
The ending to your story leaves a great mystery. It was very emotional. I always hated those faces of 1-10 too. I catch myself staring at them each time I got to the hospital. It's hard to talk about our inner selves sometimes but you wrote it clearly. This was a great story.
This is so powerful and important. You brought attention to the fact that although those around us might seem perfectly fine howeverit may just be a facade. If this was a reflection of how you feel or have felt, just know you are not alone because there are many others that face the struggle of keeping it together day to day. I like how the narrator found a place she could feel safe. Overall, a great piece.
This blog really hit me on a personal level. For the main character in this story I feel sympathy for them. It's never really a good thing to hide your smile and be fake. There are a lot of people who do that as well and hopefully one day we can put a real smile on people. Overall great story it really showed a lot of ethos in it well done.
I Love this story because this shows me a new side of our friendship. It really hit me in a personal level and I can really feel your emotion when i see this story. This was a great story because its hard to really talk about our emotions. Well done!
It's insane how I can really relate this as much I feel others can as well. Your story is so empowering with many elements of disguising yourself to not show such misery to others around. The metaphorical makeup you have seems to intensify with more and more as she is overwhelmed with sadness. This snow ball effect of not talking to someone brings such an anxiety ricken sadness feel to the reader. Thank you for this story it's my favorite one thus far :)
I love the way you used the detail of makeup to describe the sadness that is covered up. I understand how it feels to have to suppress the negativity and the way that it is presented in the piece truly connects on a deeper level. You connected emotion to vivid imagery which really enhanced the reader’s ability to understand the piece. Great job, Bridget!
You are an amazing writer Bridget! As I was reading, I really felt the intense weight of emotion that hung on every word which is what made your piece so profound and captivating. I loved how you made a deeper meaning out of the simple action of putting makeup, which people may not expect it there to be.
This was such a well written piece, Bridget! Not only that but I can personally connect to this story as sometimes I feel that I show people a different person than who I truly am. We become so involved in what others think of us that we lose ourselves in the process. The way you used makeup and other objects to symbolize how you mask yourself was nice touch to your writing style and the changing sentence structure such as the use of fragments. The ending was a little melancholic, and it was a good way to show that we all have the ability to fix ourselves.
Well done ! Your piece was absolutely descriptive and really drew my attention. You painted a picture of both the speaker's physical and emotional appearance and is very relatable. Great job on illustrating your piece. I really like how your story uses much of figurative context, but through your ability to consistently point out your main idea, one is able to clearly comprehended the speaker's tone of emotion and idea. Again great job!!
This was an amazing piece not only because your exquisite vocabulary but the organization and depth of this story as well. Because so many people face this same issue, this piece could be seen as a way to reach out to those who also feel trapped in a facade of happiness and seem to be alone in this word of imperfections. Great Job
Great descriptions of how emotion can really affect a person in their day to day lives. You're imagery creates a very vivid image in my mind. Good job.
This story is something many people can relate to. hiding their true feeling by material things. Your vivid details make you readers relate to the emotions that the speaker feels as well.
-Gabriella Sanchez
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