“I love you,” Ellen whispered to
her son. It was night and she was
tucking Ethan to bed. Ellen pulled the
covers up to his chin and gave a him a warm kiss goodnight. This routine always comforted Ethan.
“Please
don’t go mommy, the monsters come out when you leave,” Ethan begged. Ellen
always felt heartbroken when he said that every night, but she can’t let him be
afraid of the dark forever.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go.” she replied,
trying to hide her pain, “I need to go to sleep in my bed too, I’ll see you
right when you wake up in the morning.”
“But mom!” Ethan began to cry. “They’re gonna get me, the monsters. They’re gonna eat me and hurt me, please
Mom!”
“I got you a gift Ethan.” Ellen
deflected, trying to distract him. She
pulled a coffee brown teddy bear from a plastic bag she brought. Upon seeing
it, Ethan’s eyes instantly lit up, his tears quickly forgotten. The bear wasn’t very large, but it was soft
and fluffy.
“Is that for me?” Ethan hoped, eyes
wide with wonder.
“Yes, but you have to promise to
protect him. He has no home and he needs
someone to help him. Can you be brave for him?”
“Yes, I’ll always protect you”
Ethan promised the bear. He carefully
grabbed his new friend and held him close.
Ellen got up and quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.
Then the Monsters came out.
Long, creeping talons clawed at the
windows. The wood floors creaked as
invisible monsters circled the bed.
Large, heavy footsteps boomed in the distance as giant creatures
approached. In the gaping closet, the
black void stirred as wriggling monsters scurried within.
Ethan could sense these monsters
coming after him. They did this every
night, scaring him, always trying to eat him.
But now, they’re after Teddy too.
Ethan knew he had to be strong for Teddy, but he was scared. Trying to
keep his promise, Ethan tightly hugged his dear friend.
And as he squeezed teddy, the
monsters began to shy away. The
creatures silently slithered away from Ethan, receding into the darkness,
leaving Ethan with his first peaceful sleep.
42 comments:
I really like how the message of the story focuses on bravery, something that is often understated. I also liked how the story was straight to the point and how the imagery you used helps immerse the reader into the story. Great job!
Interesting twist on a cliche idea! Courage is difficult to obtain, especially for young people, which is why I enjoyed your realistic approach to how the main character, Ethan gained courage in a way that was pure and youthful. For a short story, I was thoroughly intrigued throughout, well done!
I loved this! I enjoyed how your piece started off sounding cute and innocent, but quickly became dark and ominous. Your diction and details were well executed, giving your story a great visual that readers can easily understand. Overall, I think you did an amazing job!
I enjoyed reading this piece. You did a good job showing Ethan develop into a stronger person by facing his fears. This story had vivid imagery that emphasized the shift in tone to sinister when Ellen left Ethan in his room.
I really enjoyed the incredible plot twist in the middle of the story, the fact that the monsters were real and Ethan wasn't just scared of the dark added a greater effect to Ethan's tears and fears. Him also facing his fears with Teddy and not alone added to his strength even though he's just a little kid. The imagery of both the bear and monsters definitely added to this piece and made it more real to the reader.
Hey Kevin! I really enjoyed reading your piece. It was a simple fiction, though it was detailed enough for me to read the story and imagine it like a movie. I really liked the fact that the little boy overcame his fears with a little friend on his side.
I really enjoyed this story. As soon as I read the title, I was pulled in and had to read it. Though the story is very lighthearted abd about a little boy with his teddy bear, it made me think about how people find strength in the smallest ways. Such a cute story!
This short story has a great image on the freaky imagination of a child, along with the comforting imagination. The details were implemented in the story perfectly. Nice job!
I really enjoyed the character development within Ethan. He was just a young boy who was shown to overcome his fear of a monster and became a stronger person out of it.
I feel like we all can connect with the character Ethan. As children we was all scared of the dark and the "monsters" that was in our room. The development throughout the story as he overcomes his fears and learns to be strong, was amazing and thoroughly thought out.
This piece was a good example of strong interest on a character. I loved the way you gave Ethan many personality types and overall made him a lovable character. In my opinion, a good story always starts with a good character and you have an excellent way to start off a story using this character. Overall, this story was great and I personally enjoyed it much more than I thought I would.
I like the twist you had on a typical story line. I like how the end of the story ended up being optimistic and how the boy put on a brave face for something he loved.
Oh, that was absolutely beautiful, Kevin. Your attention to detail is very keen and I could truly feel the love resonating from this short story. Very cool.
This piece was so greatly detailed and very enjoyable! I liked the way you described Ethan's fear of the dark and the way he was able to overcome it with the new teddy bear. It brings a new light on the perspective of children's fears and how they are able to get rid of those fears. Overall this story was very imaginative and I really enjoyed reading it! Great job!
Upon reading the first few lines, I thought it would be a typical story about a child being scared about monsters under his bed. However, I liked how the monsters were actually real but his teddy bear was able to give him strength. It's a nice twist on the classic story, and its also great that you put a lot of detail into such a small story. Good job!
This is a very relatable piece because I think most of us have that something or someone, of course, that makes us feel safe and protected through the dark times and on the other side I am sure a lot of us are that something that makes someone feel safe. I love the way this story was written, simple yet creative in your own way.
I thought this piece was so cute when Ethan got so excited to see the teddy bear! I can relate to this as well because sometimes I feel like something might come out during the night and take me. I love this story and it was very well written. Thank you for sharing!
This is a very good descriptive piece of writing i felt as if I was there throughout the whole story. I like how it starts off with this poor little innocent boy who is afraid of the dark and just wants his mom to protect him but his mother knows that sooner or later he has to grow up and not be afraid of the dark so she does what she can to try and help him grow out of his fear. It was a very simple and unique story I really did like it. Great job and thank you for sharing it with us.
This story was amazing as it brought specific vivid imagery that helps the reader become trapped in the story as it progresses. I loved the message that through protection and bravery, fear occurs, but helpless to interfere. The meaning to the story was spot on amazing job.
This story not only gives a twist to the classic tales of monster under the bed, but all the more provides a lesson that one can always depend on someone or something to overcome their fears. Well done!
I really enjoyed this piece. it was well written and reminds of my own childhood when I could not even stand in a dark room without weeping. I also liked how the monsters were taken literally in the end showing us how powerful a kids belief in themselves can actually be and how they can grow through their fears.
I really enjoyed the nature and meaning behind this piece. I thought it was a good story about a little boy who was able to overcome his fears just with a little stuffed animal; and that reminded me of my childhood teddy bear and how a child's imagination is truly one of the most powerful things.
I truly enjoyed this piece and found it sophisticated on certain levels. I love how you were able to write about such a complex theme in such a short span of writing. You wrote a youthful, childlike story, but you were able to incorporate such serious and realistic themes, such as the fear of the unknown. I enjoy how you were able to combine these two elements to create a great piece. Great job, I truly enjoyed reading it!
This piece was very fun and interesting to read. It was a theme wrapped in a short entry of writing and was enjoyable to read. I loved how the boy was able to overcome his fears with a stuffed animal. Very good writing, thank you for sharing.
This story is very interesting in how to captures what goes on in a child's mind. I liked the creativity in the plot and how the teddy bear is what protected the boy rather than his mother. It was a fun read, good job!
this story was short yet had so much meaning to it. i think we can all relate as we were all once little kids who were afraid of something that wasn't there. even as were older we get freaked out over noises in the dark. i also liked the imagery of the monsters, it took me back to a younger me terrified of the dark. Great job!
This is a great idea for a story and it is really well written. it is a genius concept that the bear gives the child a reason to be brave and the imagery makes it fun to read, this is a great story
I loved this piece for it depicts a difficulty that many children have, but most importantly how to overcome it. Simply by putting others whether it be a stuffed animal or not before us, it shows a motivation that strengthens and encourages us getting over a fear. Well done.
This piece was simple and sweet. For a second there when it said "And then the monsters came out" I thought the monster were going to be real and eat the little boy and then just be all bad but the story didn't go there. I think this was a nice read because it reminds us as readers what its like to be little and afraid of the dark. I liked this piece but wished it was a little longer.
This story is relatable in many ways because many of us may feel vulnerable at some point in ur lives and the only thing that can help it is the focus of the comfort and protection of someone else. If we put someone else's needs before our own, we are able to forget about our own worries or doubts and even fears. Even to this day I am afraid of the dark and force my dog to stay in the room with me as I sleep and as I fall asleep, I know that my dog is with me at all times.
I'm not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping there'd be some tragic horrific ending, or magically the stuffed bear gets up and fights off the monsters, or even better, plot twist, the bear IS the monster, and turns around and eats Ethan. But i enjoyed the story nonetheless, it was short and cute. I can relate to Ethan i still have a couple stuffed animals lying around my bed. The piece was well written and conveyed meaning, despite how short it was, making it more impactful because of its length.
This story was extremely sweet and I loved the idea behind the trick that the mom had done in order for her son to sleep on his own. It reminds me of when I was little too and how I had to find the courage to face the dark as well.
I found this story to be extremely adorable, especially the part where Ethan spoke to the teddy bear and promised him that he will protect him. And with your use of imagery, I almost felt as if the monsters were real. I felt as if they were extremely close to Ethan and that they were about to snatch him off the bed, but thank goodness the story ended with a happy ending.
This is such a cute, sweet story to read, I enjoyed every part of it. To me, it tells of a young boy finally facing his fear and learning how to seek self comfort even though the comfort seems to be coming from the teddy bear. Overall, great piece.
The story was short and simple but still great nonetheless! I loved how by the end, Ethan was able to face his fear of the monsters thanks to his new found motivation. I can kind of relate to Ethan since I used to be scared of monsters when I was a child and my biggest fear was the dark. I'm glad Ethan was able to get over his fear and I'm also glad his mom helped him get over his fear even when she had to go to her own bed. Overall a good, short story to read. Wow, great moves Kevin! Keep it up. Proud of you.
This story is straight and to the point and the development and organization really help the reader buy into it. I really enjoyed reading this piece and i think it really captures that you can still be brave and courageous even if you're scared. I enjoyed the piece altogether and I'm sure we can all relate to that one stuffed animal who made us feel better as children.
This piece was simple, yet it has a deep meaning. The idea of using the common story of "monsters in the dark" and a little boy facing his bedtime fears carries out an innocent feel to bravery and implies how simple it is to be brave. I really enjoyed how you were able to vividly explain the scenery and the actions/emotions of the characters through such simple syntax. This definitely made it as one of my favorites. Good job!
I really enjoyed the dialogue that you used here, as well as the simplicity and truth that comes from the story. It is very organized and easy to understand. Nice job.
The parallelism of this story and many people lives is so strong, as many people are afraid of the dark, or if you're like me you're afraid of what is in the dark. I like the way Ethan learns to be strong, not just for himself but for his teddy bear, its a lesson that if we are brave that the fears will all go away, awesome story!
This story is very cute on how the boy tries to protect his Teddy bear. I like how the mom gave Ethan the bear to teach him how to not be afraid of the dark anymore. I also liked the description for the monsters lurking in his room and how they went away as Ethan hugged his Teddy bear.
Such a sweet, cute story. I like how you used situational irony to create a switch up to your story. Usually the teddy bear is always the one to protect the child, rather in your story it was the opposite and the child was protecting the bear. Your piece provides a sense of bravery and overcoming one's fear throughout any circumstance, especially faced with a responsibility and I think some of us can relate to that. Great Job!!
i love the idea of monsters at night. i love how the mom knew that the little boy needed to overcome him fear, so instead of giving him something to fight the monsters off, she gave him something that he would have to fight to protect.
-Gabriella Sanchez
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