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Monday, October 24, 2016

"The Mirror " by Taylor T

      Mirrors are commonly thought to be a reflective device used to see what we look like, but this is incorrect. For me, it has been a window, and someone has been knocking for as long as I can remember. When I first heard a knock, it was soft, like a tap on a window. Throughout the years, they have become more aggressive. When I confront the mirror, nothing happens; I’m just staring at myself. This time... this time was different.

     One night, I decided to confront the thing behind the mirror using a different approach. I had wondered for a long time if the mirror games we knew when we were young would work, such as Blue Baby, Bloody Mary, Candyman, etc. I’ve tried them all. Nothing happened except scaring myself half to death. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, hopeless and curious, as if the thing in my mirror was in need of some sort of help, a release. Then, something happened, something that shouldn’t be possible, something that... was beyond comprehension. It smiled at me.

     This wasn’t a sweet smile-no, not at all. This was frightening, menacing, as if this thing was something from hell. The smile was wide. Almost too wide. And its eyes became darker, black, like they had been torn out of their sockets and what was left were the hollow holes filled with dried blood. Its teeth was oversized and yellow, gums dripping blood. It started to tilt its head, each slight movement met with a crack and snap of its neck. And it seemed to never stop. It was as if the neck of the creature extended for miles. But that smile, that horrifying smile, never once left its face. But this creature didn’t stop there. It began to move. Walk away, when I had never moved my feet.

     As the creature turned and walked out of the reflected door, I stood in shock, unable to step away from the mirror. I had hoped I was dreaming, but when I gained the courage to turn around, I was met with complete darkness. What I believed had happened, I hoped wasn’t true. I desperately hoped that this creature did not take my life as its own. I stood shaking, and resulted to the only thing that could possibly help me: I started to bang on the mirror.

     I never dared to enter the darkness lurking behind me. But I would continue to stand there, for the rest of eternity, hoping someone would find me behind this mirror.

    Then it came back...

66 comments:

Gaby Romero said...

This story was really interesting to me. It was like I was reading a book and kept going into depth that I wanted to read more and more of it. This story was perfect for Halloween time which also made it nice. Good job!

Valeria J. said...

I suddenly never want to look at mirrors for awhile... Though this story was creepy and suspenseful I could not stop reading till the very end. Your descriptions provided such life-like images which I believe made your overall story so intense. It is interesting how someone can establish the feeling of terror or panic upon others, by simply writing a story. Great job!

Unknown said...

This story was perfect for October, equally creepy and mysterious! Your descriptions were very detailed which really boosted the creepiness. This could be a horror movie!

Unknown said...

I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was fun and creepy. I will definitely be freaked out for a while just at the thought of a creature or thing appearing in the mirror in front of me. You had a great idea and imagination while writing this piece. Great descriptions, it really helped crate the beast.

Unknown said...

I was really impressed with this piece. This story was relatable in some way because I definitely used to play those mirror games. It had a creepy and horrified tone to it, and great use of imagination. It made me feel as if I was in this story and actually watching this happen. The details were very specific which made the story seem more realistic. Great Job.

Anonymous said...

This was defiantly a creepy piece which is great considering the time of year. I love how you were very descriptive when explaining the creature in the mirror. Your use of imagery really brought the character to life. I like how you turned an innocent game into a creepy story. You did a good job on your story Taylor!
- Katie Strain

Stephany Simental said...

Your piece is so creepy, mostly when people try to write cryptic pieces such as this they don't turn out too well, but you did a really good job! The creature you described honestly made me feel weirded out and scared, which I can assure is a very good thing :) if you wrote more I would really be interested to see how events unfold, nice work!

Stephany Simental said...

Your piece is so creepy, mostly when people try to write cryptic pieces such as this they don't turn out too well, but you did a really good job! The creature you described honestly made me feel weirded out and scared, which I can assure is a very good thing :) if you wrote more I would really be interested to see how events unfold, nice work!

Aryelle Estrada said...

This piece was so creepy and good at the same time. I couldn't stop reading it! With the way you described the creature to be in the mirror really terrified me and now I don't want to ever look in the mirror in the dark. This was such a great piece for October since Halloween is coming up. Great job!.

Unknown said...

So terrifying! I think what truly makes this so scary is how descriptive you are of the creature. I love how you left it as an open ending, as open endings are very effective in scary stories!

Unknown said...

First of all, I love the cliffhanger at the end. The scary detail you used to describe the creature is amazing! Is there a continuation of this story? And if there isn't can you make one? This story is up there with Stephen King novels. Great Job!

Unknown said...

This story really got me into the Halloween spirit! I like how you put a lot of details and made the story personal. I find it personally hard to write scary stories but this once captivated me until the end. The hook really captured my attention and the conclusion tied everything together nicely. Good job. Very well written.

Unknown said...

This story really sets the mood for the season, I use to be into horror stories but this one reminded me why I like horror stories. You did a good job on portraying it as being on the edge of reality and fiction.

Unknown said...

Very scary story! Certainty gives a new reason not to look at mirrors around Halloween time. The hook at the beginning of the story did well to tie me in, and the cliffhanger does very well to have a reader like me want more. Well done!

Anonymous said...

I liked how you wrote the story; you did a great job describing the reflection and building a creepy atmosphere. Choosing to write about mirrors was a good way to apply the story to and address the fears of a wide audience. The cliffhanger was an excellent way to end it since it leaves the rest up to the readers' imagination.

Unknown said...

If I had only read this story sooner! It really set back the Halloween spirit all over again. I like how this story was very detailed from the prior personal connections pertaining to the mirrors to the up close features of the frightening creature within the mirror. That cliffhanger at the end added a sense of mystery and anticipation for more of story.

Unknown said...

This story really sets the mood for Halloween. The story in itself was really good, I like that it was narrated in first person. Whatever that was behind the mirror really creeped me out. It left me hanging for more at the end, makes for a great ending.

Unknown said...

This story was a very good choice for October. It really sets the mood and makes people think of a mirror in a different way. In my eye, it reminded of me of when I was little and I watched a horror movie about mirrors. In the movie, the mirrors controlled people in very terrifying ways. Overall, this story was perfect for this month and overall, a great read! Great job.

Unknown said...

I absolutely love the Halloween theme in this story. I like how at the end of the story you made it seem like you was this "monster" which is basically our inner demon. I can agree with this and just love the way it had me on edge the whole time. I just wish this was longer and actual story. Thank you for this story.

Unknown said...

You did a great job writing a horror story! The imagery, especially in the third paragraph, was extremely detailed and vivid and gave a great description of a terrifying creature. I also like the how creature was just a distorted version of the person actually looking in the mirror and how you emphasized all its ghastly traits. The cliffhanger at the end just added onto the horror. Good job!

Claiborne Beitz said...

I really enjoyed reading this story! It was full of imagery and goes along with this months Halloween theme. The approach of the mirror and its reflection was an interesting concept, by giving them monster-like qualities. Overall, the story was thrilling and it was a very fun read!

Unknown said...

This story honestly scared me. I loved reading this piece because it brought a sense of suspense and horror. The concept of the mirror is very unique and shows a different perspective of what mirror are typically used for. I loved the detail you used to portray the setting and emotions during that time. This story was great especially for the Halloween season and I wish I would've read it sooner!

Anonymous said...

This Story is awesome. I'm not usually a fan of horror stories, but this was really good. I especially like the way you describe the thing in the mirror, really bringing it to life.

-Spencer

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness! this story has such an intensity and i love how you incorporated the ending with the beginning when you said, the mirror was more like a window knocking. I feel this tied up the whole piece, and made it something bigger. very good job, your use of imagery made me feel like i was there. This really gave me chills.

Unknown said...

This story was intriguing to me because the whole time I was wondering who the person or what the image in the mirror represented. This was a great piece to read during Halloween because it's spooky and has a dark tone. Now I want to talk to you about this piece in person! Great Job!

Jada Dedman said...

I loved it from beginning until the end very interesting to read. It was intense reading it and very suspenseful, the fact that it had you guessing who was the reflection made it better. made me reevaluate myself and look at myself in the mirror.

Unknown said...

What an amazingly, well composed horror story it is to read! Though I was never a big fan of the horror genre, this one gave a different spin to the narrative. What I enjoy the most from this is the use of specific imagery not only to strengthen the detail, but emphasizing the mood of the story.

Unknown said...

This was a amazing horror story! The beginning of the story made me curious on who was knocking on the window. I love how you described the monster and the monsters actions. The ending of the story was terrifying, but great. Good Job!

Nick Mojica said...

This story was extremely interesting to me. i found myself more and more captivated in the story with each paragraph. The descriptions were very intense and detailed, I was kind of scared when reading it. I actually looked behind my back just to know I was safe. The end was also very entertaining and had me make a gasp. This was a very good story and a very enjoyable read.

Unknown said...

Wow. This piece was so creative and i couldn't stop reading until the end. The way you told the story and the way you paused throughout it created suspense and your elaborate imagery helped put me in your shoes. It was very original and really evokes a lot of different imaginations. The thing walking away from you and leaving you trapped was the perfect way to bring the piece to a close. Great job!

Em Aguilar said...

First of all, I want to say that I really enjoyed your piece. The way you set up the story was very strategic and the use of descriptive details made it all the more vivid. I almost wanted to believe that this really happened to you because of how interesting and intriguing it was. From the beginning to end it only got more alluring and made me feel as if I was in your shoes. You are a very talented and creative writer. I would love to read some more of your work in the future. :)

Unknown said...

This is very well written. The imagery used to describe the strange creature, the fear in the main characters eyes, and the surprise twist at the end. Did the monster exit the mirror and pull him in, was the speaker always a reflection? We may never know. All in all, great job.

Darlene Castro said...

This story had my attention from the start. The knocking mirror made me curious to know what was going to happen and the detail and description as to how it "came to life" was terrifying but well done. You did a great job in creating a vivid piece.

Unknown said...

I really enjoyed your piece. I think your story fits in so well with this time of year. I really like the imagery that you used in order to describe the horrifying creature and the fact that you used a cliff hanger leaves me wanting to know what happens next. This was such an interesting story. Good job!

Unknown said...

So great. Whenever I now look in a mirror, I'll remember your story-- thanks! Lol Your story, however, had me glued to the screen as I wanted to know more like: was that creature behind the mirror one of your fears, or past experience that has haunted you ever since, and etc. It was definitely an awesome and suspenseful piece. I think you should write a part two to it or something like a series, I would definitely read it.

Michael Garcia said...

This story was truly frightening. Personally, my biggest fear is ghosts and I had been curious onto trying the mirror games but, I was too frighten too. After reading your story, I am glad I had not done it because I would be paralyzed in fear. Your story had great use of imagery which made me picture what you saw in the mirror! Great story, it was truly an interesting piece.

Anonymous said...

That was a very entertaining story actually, maybe a bit creepy to the point where it might give me chills but it was very well written. Your use of figurative language of imagery really helped create the picture inside my head of what the "monster" had looked like from your point of view. I actually wanted to read more to know what would happen next in the story, did you get out? Well I guess we'll never know, but otherwise. Great job on your piece.

Tyler Alamillo said...

Wow, this story grew so intense and seemingly insane as it progressed. Its very interesting and a vastly different point of view that I enjoyed to see from. The details were spot on and led to a truly spun around plot twist. Fantastic read that definitely made me involved!

Alejandra Arteaga said...

Your piece was very entertaining and I was very into it, I liked the imagery that you used and how you described that creature behind the mirror it almost seemed supernatural to me. I really started to visualize the story as i was reading through it and the cliff hanger at the end got me wanting to read more. Great job and now when i look in the mirror i will remember this story.

Unknown said...

This story was very well written. The detailed descriptions that you gave to the creature in the mirror was genuinely frightening and I really wanted to keep on reading more. 👍

Unknown said...

I want to start off by saying this was really good. I personally liked the whole mystical mirror scenario due to the fact that when I was younger I always thought ghosts were stuck in my mirror. I was interested from the beginning and the intense imagery you used drew me into the story even more. Plus, the way you tied the entire story into a loop where you became trapped in the mirror and started to pound on it like the beginning created a sort of resolution. Overall, I genuinely liked this piece.

Unknown said...

As someone who reads short horror stories often I really enjoyed this. I liked the tension that built up in the begining then somewhat resolved itself in an eerie way. Honestly if you had a blog or any kind of outlet of your own I would comeback for part two of this story and any other stories you have. Good job!

Unknown said...

I love how you interpreted Halloween themes into this story because it was a short, yet vile story that could give a person goose bumps. I love this story and this kind of stories in general because of their simplicity and how short they are. A very well done!

Unknown said...

This was definitely perfect for October! You intricately weaved all of my worst fears into one being and it was pretty amazing. The details were so vivid and terrifying that it truly enhanced your plot. I can honestly see this being a great suspenseful movie! It was very cynical and unexpected that the person turned into the thumping that they heard before. You did an amazing job!

Unknown said...

Honestly the suspenseful and intense darkness of this story is perfectly fitted for October. You left the reader wondering what the darkness was, where the creature was being seen, and how it got to the other side. The fact that this tale seems inspired by childhood ghost stories enhances it's horror effect. You did well conveying your story's theme, genre, and style.

Unknown said...

Wow, I'm speechless. The imagery of the story seemed like it was a real memory or an experience that has tormented you since you were a kid. Each sentence and line was filled with suspense, horror, and anticipation for what was going to occur next. I honestly felt that I was with you every step of the way and was attached to your subconscious as you were observing this evil occurrence. Great story!!!

Unknown said...

Wow, I'm speechless. The imagery of the story seemed like it was a real memory or an experience that has tormented you since you were a kid. Each sentence and line was filled with suspense, horror, and anticipation for what was going to occur next. I honestly felt that I was with you every step of the way and was attached to your subconscious as you were observing this evil occurrence. Great story!!!

Unknown said...

Very well written piece, the way this kept me as a reader on the edge of my seat was magnificent. The suspense was utilized in an amazing way,i couldn't seem to take my eyes off the story without reading it over, time and time again.

Christofer Guerrero said...

What a great piece. I am really glad that you decided to save this story for October, as the tone perfectly matched October's spooky atmosphere. Overall, I think that your use of strong descriptive words was really what made this story stand out. I really enjoy stories like this where I'm left wanting more simply because of the way you pulled me in with descriptions. Great job!

Unknown said...

This definitely flows with Halloween! You did an amazing job describing every detail of the monster, as it created a clear and quiet menacing image in my mind. I liked the suspense build up as it made me want to read more and more. I think it is very well written and the ending was truly unexpected. Amazing job!

Unknown said...

The first thing that really caught mu eye about this piece was definitely the title. I really love when a title automatically grabs my attention. This was a very brilliant and well put together piece. I was interested and I wanted to keep reading as I went deeper into the story. Thank you for sharing this.

Unknown said...

Incredible. It was quite the creative story. I truly enjoyed the the thriller aspect of it all and the way you used your imagery made me feel like I was right there staring into the hollowed out eyes of this mysteriousbeast.

Chelsea Gonzales said...

The detail and imagery in your story was amazing!! The way you described this thing behind the mirror is horrifying. I also enjoyed how you kept a sense of mysteriousness all throughout.This story is scary in the best way perfect for October.

Gavin Mendoza said...

I really enjoyed this piece. I liked the scary theme behind it especially. I really liked how the monster can even be interpreted as yourself and being afraid of yourself. The detail and Imagery really conveyed the spooky tone of this story. Good Job!!

Anonymous said...

From the title, I expected the story to be about what we see everyday. However, as it progressed, there was a lot of dark imagery and with the use of first person point of view, I felt as if I could imagine that creepy smiling face staring at me right now. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers, but overall it was a good piece that gives me the thrills!

Unknown said...

I really enjoyed all the imagery and descriptive details that you put into your piece. While reading through in the second paragraph how the the reflection smiled at you made a very spooky and creepy tone to the piece. I also enjoyed how descriptive you were when it came to the reflection turning into a monster in the mirror.

Haley Jensen said...

Great writing!!! I really liked the syntax you used when it got to the part of the mirror staring back at you.I appreciated the way you used the ellipsis to emphasize how strange what had occurred really was. I also liked the twist at the end of the story. I didn't think you would actually turn around back into the mirror and in turn get stuck there, with this mysterious counterpart somewhere in the world. I liked it, it really got me back into the Halloween spirit.

Unknown said...

Taylor, WOW! The structure and choices that you made for this story demonstrate ingenious writing skills that totally set you apart from much of the blog. Just reading your piece, we are able to tell the passion you have for creative writing and that will take you places. It is apparent that the word choice and imagery In the piece were specifically chosen to have certain effects. Reading this at 17, I was a little spooked, as the very detailed imagery somewhat forces readers to put themselves in the speaker's position. All in all, your writing style and dedication are very admirable and I wish you wrote on the blog more as I would love to see what other creative ideas you have for writing!

Unknown said...

This story caught me by surprise. I honestly did not expect the story to take such a turn. I loved how the story portrayed a threatening and ominous tone. This also parallels to the Halloween season as well. You also added a variety of descriptive imagery that made the apparitions in your story easier to visualize. Overall, this was a very well written piece. Great job!

Unknown said...

This story is perfect for Halloween, it surprised me in how creepy and atmospheric it was. the tone and how you shaped it was perfect and masterfully written. It was kinda edgy but it was a good edgy i guess regaudless it was creepy in all the right ways.

Unknown said...

You made me experience a great deal of goosebumps, Taylor! As I continued to read on carefully through your story, I can picture such a gruesome image of the creature that lurks in the mirror with your detailed imagery. I kinda took this story as insecurity overwhelming the character then becoming the thing she hates looking in and as to teach her a lesson. Wonderful story for Halloween by the way !!

Unknown said...

This is the perfect story for October. I found this story really interesting and somewhat creepy at the same time. The detail you had in the story allowed me to form a clear picture of this creature that lives in the mirror. After reading the first sentence I was expecting a story about finding yourself, something like that but reading on it turned to the complete opposite way I was thinking.

Unknown said...

Spoopy story! It was perfect for October and provided a nice scare for the reader. The imagery you used was ominous and frightening, which provided the scare factor in your story. Mirrors have been used numerous times in horror novels and films as a means to bring fright to the reader and viewer respectively, and you handled it very well. You definitely scared me, so good job! Wow Taylor, great moves. Keep it up. Proud of you.

Unknown said...

Hey Taylor this was so good there were a few grammatical things that could be adjusted but overall I thought that this story was very interesting. I wasn't really sure when it switched between the mirror person moving around and you just standing there. Overall I really loved your story certainly gave me a bit of a fright. Spooky. I loved ur story and I love you ;)

Unknown said...

The first paragraph reminded me of a poem ,with illusions and similies. I was a little confused at first, but i soon realized it was a perfectly- timed horror story about a mirror. This could be a true spooky story and you just topped it off with a great closing line. Great job!

Unknown said...

This story was speechless, I really enjoyed the all the description of the thing behind the mirror and how you describes it with "teeth was oversized and yellow, gums dripping blood", very good job in describing how scary the menace was. Imagery was also an enjoyment thinking about the thing, as if you were in that position. Thank you for the fright!