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Monday, October 24, 2016
"Spookiness of October" by Mya L
In the month of October everyone says that they enjoy a good scare. Well this year in October there has been clowns scaring people all over the world. On October 2nd a group of friends went to the Queen Mary, remember they had no idea what they were expecting. One girl loved to get scared, the other one never gets scared, another one hated clowns, and last two were just scared of everything. They started off with the first maze as they walked in a GIANT man came chasing after them. The two who were scared of everything were in the front that when they saw the man they dipped and ran right back out. They finally all walked in and stayed together in the first part of the maze, there were 3 doors and the group chose the 1st door. When they walked in it looked just like a hospital but scarier. The lights were flickering on and off, then all of a sudden the lights turned off! The lights then came back on and there was a clown standing in the middle of the walk way. Everybody suddenly stopped and hesitated to walk. Then the lights went off again and when they came back on the clown was behind them and said “WANNA PLAY”!!! The group then turned around to look at the clown and when they saw the clown behind them they ran so fast to get out of the room. When they came out they thought that they were done and then suddenly a worker said “please choose another room.” The group chose the 3rd room and walked into a pitch black room and suddenly they heard a laugh and the loud noise of a chainsaw. The one who never gets scared whispered “I’m absolutely terrified.”
~ Happy Halloween ~
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36 comments:
Haha, this story gave me a quick laugh! Since I’m a fan of being spooked and scared, I enjoyed this piece and it sounds like fun scenario. It reminded me of the events that occur at the Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. Your imagery of the hospital scene with the lights flickering on and off added to the creepy effect and it created a detailed visual in my head. The last line was quite funny to me because it reminded me of myself and how I would probably react. Great job!
I love how from the very beginning you relate to current situations involving the clowns, already catching my attention by writing about what is happening now instead of the expected Halloween customs. When you described the scene of the clown I did not expect it to be right behind the group of friends, which made me even more intrigued by how suspenseful your story would become the more I read in to it. Overall you succeeded in keeping one interested and enjoying a story all the way through, instead of dozing off and forgetting about what they have read.
This story was fun and a nice quick way to get into the Halloween spirit. It is a nice fun way to show how fun a spooky going to haunted houses or in this case the Queen Mary can be. The only criticism I have is the length is rather short. I feel that if you were to give it a bit more length would would have the capability of adding more suspense to the ending making it more dramatic.
This was an enjoyable short story and gave me a good laugh. Even I got a little scared from the suspense, but the overall plot and structure of the story was good. I also liked how you were making relevant to what has been occurring so the audience can relate. I would've loved to see what happened next!
I enjoyed this story very much because of how much I can relate to it, I love Halloween, however I definitely would qualify myself as the friends who get scared of everything in this story. As I read your story I could feel how the easily scared friends felt and I think the fact that they had to choose another room and the brave friend even got scared is what made me laugh because I didn't expect it. This was a great quick story that makes you feel certain ways in such a quick amount of time. Great use of imagery detail in the spooky hospital and emotion of the characters and thank you for that little Halloween spirit!
This piece was funny. It was enjoyable and I enjoyed how you give good imagery. Also it is funny because of the irony that the one who never got scared, ended up being scared. This makes it more entertaining and funny.
I really like how this story is in the spirit of Halloween! It was very ironic that the kids who said they never got scared were the ones who ended up being "terrified". In such a short period of time you were able to manifest such a suspenseful plot and keep the readers on their toes. I also really like how you described the imagery of the rooms and then the spooky aspect when the clown had appeared right behind the group after the lights were turned back on, it made me laugh! Keep in mind spelling errors but overall great story!
This reminds me of myself when I was younger, I always told other people that I'm not afraid of things but I was always the first to become scared. Your story is enjoyable and funny, and I also hate clowns.
I loved how you brought clowns into your spooky Halloween story, considering how many recent clown sightings and videos there has been all over social media lately! It made the story even more believable and very funny. Your well use of imagery really tied the whole piece together and I really enjoyed your authenticity of your writing style. Besides a few punctual errors, your story was very enjoyable and well written!
Spooky Halloween stories are my favorite and you nailed it! The detail put into it truly depicts how horrifying mazes can be. I've experienced a scary maze before and I can definitely say that the flickering lights and the sound of a chainsaw can really get to you. I also like how you revolved the story around true events that many people find terrifying which contributes to the overall "spooky" effect.
I love how short and concise your piece is and you were still able to embrace all of the elements of a good, well thought out story. This reminds me of our trip to Knott's a couple weeks ago. I'm pretty sure that was your inspiration. I wish the characters had names so it could be easier to follow who was doing what. Overall, great story Mya!
This story was very funny and overall a good read. I enjoyed how short and sweet it is and really liked how you put clowns in the story. It really added to the overall effect that the story has. I loved how open and fun you made the story as well. Overall, great job!
This piece was short and sweet! Your choice of words are very raw and real, you did not leave out a detail. I've always wanted to go to the Queen Mary and so this piece gave insight of what to expect when i do visit. Great story to show the Halloween spirit!
This piece really made me laugh the whole time. I wish there could've been more to the story instead of something so short. Your choice of words was very detailed that I felt that I was also in the maze with them. Just the line about the clowns really had me terrified. Great job on your story!
This story was very fun and funny to read. Just like your friend who hates clowns, I do too. And that is why this year's Halloween I was determined to stay home because I don't want to have any possible chances of encountering a clown. Overall your plot, structure and use imagery was well done, for it provides more detail making it all the more exciting to read.
This piece is somewhat relatable for me. This story seems like something I would do with all my friends. I enjoyed the humor this piece conveyed about the month of October because it is true that people behave this way in haunted house scenarios. This was a fun story to read.
This was a funny story. I started laughing at the end when the person who said they weren't scared ended up getting scared after going through the maze and encountered the clown. I am also afraid of clowns, so I would be running out of the maze with them. Great Halloween story!
This piece made me laugh, this remind me of when I went to Knotts Scary Farm right before halloween. I liked your use of detail and imagery, it really gave the story life. Nice piece and funny story mya!!
Ooh that really gave me a chill honestly the way you described the story made me feel like I was there honestly. The description help tie this whole piece together.
This story has a scare and a laugh.This combination works together to create that little Halloween story most people crave.I enjoyed the descriptions of the rooms and the personalities of the characters.Great job!!
This was a quick and funny story to read. The way you described going into the maze and the feeling of fear you felt, created a suspenseful tone throughout the story. I find this relatable with all the haunted houses and mazes I been to last month. Overall, this was a great piece to get the reader into the mood for Halloween!
This story was detailed well enough to picture the mazes and the clown popping up in the first maze. It was kind of funny how he girl who wasn't scared of things like that actually said she was terrified, that is something I would do. I enjoyed reading this story.
Love the story, and i am not a big fan of scary movies or books and yet this pleased me. I love the idea because it was quick and easy to understand which makes an easy visual in my head as I go along the text. Overall, a great story and a job well done!
This specific story gave me clear insight of the difficulties of a scary maze. Also the emotions, thoughts, and hopes for what the future brings, was the main factor of the scary story. More specifically during the part when the clown appeared, you can see, feel, and share the emotions present during the occurence. So great job!!
I really enjoyed this piece, it was good since we are in halloween season and it was very suspenseful and caused me to want to continue reading. I also like how you explained every character and how they were all terrified especially the character that "never gets scared." It was short but also well written, thanks for this writing!
This piece was very well written, there was a lot of very important and well phrased detail. The detail really helped express the emotion and spookiness' of the entire story.
Your story was fairly short, yet you still managed to create something comedic and festive for Halloween. I love the irony in the story from the kids who never got scared, but ended up being the most scared in the end. I have never been to the Queen Mary during the Halloween season but after reading this I may just give it a try. Great job!
This story is very unique I truly enjoyed. I liked how you used some descriptive words and were very detailed with what was occurring. This give us the readers a true feeling as if we were there experiencing it with you. As everyone else has been committing yes its a nice little spooky story for October. Nice job Mya, and thanks for sharing this piece with us.
As most people have already stated, this story was quite short. Yet, despite its length, you still ventured on to write an extremely entertaining story that perfectly matches the Halloween vibe. As mean as it may sound, I find it extremely entertaining to hear about or see people getting spooked. It was for this reason that this story caught my interest. You did very well in expressing the terror shown by these people, and that did nothing but perfectly strengthen the tone of this piece. Great job!
Reading the second sentence of your story, I thought your piece was going to be about the recent clown attack incidents. But, to my surprise, it wasn't. Overall , the piece is very short, but quick to hook readers with a playful tone. The choice for only generic subject words such as all, the one, and the group added complexity and unexpectedness to the structure of the story, which seemed to go along with its overall plot structure, which was of the same nature. As I know that you visited the haunt at the Queen Mary earlier this month, I found it very amusing that you used an actual event from your experiences to create a partially fictional story. Overall, nice piece.
I'm glad you wrote this story since it perfectly fits in with the Halloween Spirit, and also the raising concern of these horrifying Crowns. I liked how you started off your story with a quick sentence or two describing what the main purpose of the story was, rather than just starting your story. This allowed me to already be in the mindset and understand what i would expect from the reading. The story was also very interesting and terrifying yet with some comic relief, and i happened to enjoy it very much.
Haha, this was a really funny story! I liked how it connected to real world events with the clowns in the United States. Also the scary but fun experience of haunted houses. Stories like these always make me feel nostalgic about all the Halloween fun!
You're story was very relateable and could be easily comprehended. As I reader I felt engaged and involved in the events that took place which isn't an easy thing to do. Great Job!
I really enjoyed how you tied to your story to current events that were unfolding in the US. Your storytelling skills and details gave me a clear image of what was going on and left me spooked.
I like how you incorporated some of the events that are going on in the world into your story. Clowns are definitely a big topic lately. I love how you kept your story short and simple, but you covered a lot of information also. This story is perfect for readers to engage in the festivities of Halloween. Great job!
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