I remember like it was yesterday. I was at my cousin’s house one Summer night in year 2012, it
was late and i was exhausted and uneasy, which is never a good mix. As i lay on the carpet
floor ready to go to bed, i took some time to ask God a favor. I asked him that if he were to take
someone away from me do it in a way that was peaceful and serene. Then i went to sleep, or at
least i tried. Like previously stated i was in an anxious state causing me to toss and turn, some
of it was due to the fact that i was on the floor but that is besides the fact. Eventually all this
movement has put me into a stand still, and i was forced into deep thought as i stare into the
white ceiling. It was like i was in a trance, my mind was filled with “what ifs” and it was driving
me to the edge. So far to the edge that i broke down in tears, yes boys cry so what. It was not
long before sobbing drained my energy and had knocked me out. The morning after i woke up
homesick, there wasn’t another place i’d rather be than home at the time. I just wanted to be
with family to be more specific. Upon my request my cousin took me home from her Santa Ana
abode. As i arrived home, you would think i would be happy to be there, wrong. The place i
came home too is still the same place i tried to avoid all Summer. This is because the person
that pretty much raised me as not a person anymore, but a ticking time bomb ready to go off.
This person was my very ill grandma. My house looked depressing to say the least, just imagine
person you love so much hooked up onto various medical equipment just to keep them alive.
Not to mention this is all taking place below my room, so there really wasn’t a way to escape it.
Anyways, as i walked into my home i calmly walked to my grandma’s bed and stared at her
sleeping for about 2 minutes. Sounds weird but i was just absorbing it all in, trying to get used to
it you know? Then afterwards, i simply told her a “i love you” and went up to my room. This is
where my memory gets a little hazy, so i’m just going to fast forward to the juicy stuff. At around
12 a.m. my sister and i heard a loud scream from our rooms from downstairs. So we both
stormed out of our rooms and looked at each other with that look that something is going to go
down. So we ran down stairs to see what’s the commotion is all about. As we walked down
stairs we saw many of our family members crowded around my grandma’s bed crying, confused
i walked a little closer to take a better look at what’s happening. So as i looked over i saw my
grandma unresponsive, sort of stonelike. And in that moment I knew that the favor i asked of
God every night that Summer is finally being granted. Moments passed, tears running down my
face i thought to myself, “ Wow, what a beautiful death”. Death is always perceived as
something that is depressing and dark. However that is not the case in my situation, my
grandma lived on this Earth for 92 years and she was ready to go. And she left with her children
and grandchildren around her in a house that she loved.
Find the shape and tell it!
32 comments:
I admire your bravery to share something so personal! Also, I really enjoy how you turned something seen as so sad into something happy and for the better. Your positivity throughout the story really made an impact on the reader. I also like how you admit how you truly felt, for example when you admitted you cried. It added an emotional touch to the story which is a good thing!
I'm amazed on how you are able to share something so personal. I also want to say that I'm sorry for your loss. Even with your loss of your grandma, I was glad you were able to see it in a positive light and how your favor you asked to God came true.
Ashley Sung
Before I start saying anything, I'm sorry for your loss. I really like how you explain your whole process throughout the day. Not only that, you added some positivity into the story and made me feel as that it was for the better. I had a familiar event a year ago, but other than that I appreicate the personal story you shared with us today!
Thank you for sharing such a personal memory of yours, Christian. I have never experienced death like you have, so it was nice to know how it feels and stating it in such vivid details through your narrative. It was also admirable to know that within you is a vulnerable and sensitive being that I wouldn't have known just by seeing you , and your writing perfectly portrays that aspect of your characteristic. There were a few sentences errors, like not capitalizing your words, and improper use of punctuation, but other than that, I noticed that you write with short and concise sentences, although getting your point across well. An aspect of your story I though was interesting was the act that you describe such a morbid event as the opposite of what it is, which is beautiful, romanticizing death.
Your strength as an individual is extremely prevalent in this piece. The way in which you tackle everything form traditional ideologies of masculinity to notion of death as a sweet release is incredible. There was a sense of brutal honesty with a coexisting element of raw emotional that is unspeakably difficult to do. I send my sincerest apologies for your loss and my highest regards for your bravery.
Christian, this piece took a lot of courage to write and you did a beautiful job in conveying your insight death. You implemented the necessary tone leading up to your grandma's death and it pulled us in to truly empathize how you felt during the summer. You're right, death isn't always dark and depressing, as we all must die one day. I, too, have experience the death of a close family member, but it was through the process of deteriorating cancer rather than a death due of age. Yet, I can relate to how you feel about hoping that they'll go peacefully, without pain. Overall, this peace was impactful and could have used a quick edit for grammatical errors. Great job!
I really enjoyed reading this piece and it was very brave of you to share about a very hard experience that you have to go through. The details of the plot really made me feel like I was envisioning this story in my head. I do also relate with seeing someone close having to pass away, I share your pain in this story as well. This was very well written.
I honestly cannot imagine the pain you had went through in this moment and I am sorry for your lose. I really enjoyed how the organization in the story, how you started from something that you thought of a while ago and then it happened. I also agree with the statement of death is beautiful at times and peaceful. Only error I have with the story is the grammatical errors but beside that, this was very well written.
To have been through this same event, the relevancy of your story to me is too close. Having lost two members of my family now, I have felt the pain you have felt and want to let you know that you will get through it. Even though it hurts, losing someone is an eye opener to what really happens in life. When someone dies, they leave behind a legacy that one must protect and uphold say, 'Yes, that is my grandfather, yes he was an amazing person'. Excellent job.
I am in awe at how you turned a topic such as death that is normally perceived as being dark and sad, into something beautiful. It hurts to lose someone, and you turned away from it just as anyone else would have, but yet you still were able to come back and find the beauty in all of it. It's wonderful how you ended the piece on a high note that commented on how although your grandmother had passed, she passed in peace and surrounded by those who love her. Thank you for sharing such a personal piece.
This piece was so well written. I can understand how it feels to lose someone who is close and dear to you. I like how you turned a sad moment into something positive. This piece opened my eyes to different aspects of viewing certain events and different ways we can see the outcome. There were a few minor punctuation and grammar errors, but all in all the story was great and showed a lot of detail and description.
Christian I am so sorry for your loss, I know what it feels like to lose a grandparent. I am so impressed by the way you were able to look at the positive side during this trial in your life. We all handle death differently, some may see it as a scary thing and some may see it as something good and a place to move forward. I really liked how you organized the piece by the sequence of events, you did a really great job introducing the story of your grandmother to us.
Sorry for your loss. I know what it feels to lose someone who is close to you. But, what a "great" way to go., presumably with loved ones around with your Grandmother’s heart. Sympathy to your family who lost an important member of a family, your grandmother. The way the story is told is very good that it made “death” seem “beautiful” and shows how the death of your Grandma is peaceful. The beautiful image that was created in my head was when all your grandma’s loved ones surrounded her in peace and love . Again, sending care and love to you, your Grandmother, and your family. God bless all around.
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you were able to share such a tragic story with us. It was kinda bitter sweet in a way and helped me realize that appreciate all the memories you have with a loved one and appreciate the time you also have with them. Thank You!
This story made me smile. I have always seen death as something beautiful and I never thought I would come across another person who believed this also. It is so important to view death in a positive way because that person is now beginning their life. Your writing style is really advanced but it has a sense of simplicity, if you know what I mean, which really brings the whole story together. I really like how you ended the story especially when you say that she died in a home where she was surrounded with love and her grandchildren and children. It really completes it in a sense that she passed because that was it. That was all she wanted, she lived her life and now it was her time. Great Job Christian.
This is a very beautiful and touching story. I am very sorry for loss. I loved that you shared your emotions, it is something that a lot of boys don't think they can do. But your story was so touching, that even at her death you could see the beauty in it. I am grateful that God answered your prayers and was gentle with your Grandma. Thank you for sharing your story.
I'd like to start off by saying that I'm very sorry for your loss. I was born after my maternal grandparents passed away, but I do remember two separate events in September 2007 when my paternal grandfather passed away and in 2011 when my uncle passed away. In the first event, my dad was in utter dismay and sadness and couldn't act right for the rest of the month, I was very young back then and I couldn't understand the loss of losing a loved one who lived overseas. As for the second event, my mom acted the same way and she couldn't comprehend the fact that her cousin died violently after being shot by a political thug of the MQM in Pakistan. This time since I was older, I felt sad myself that I had never gotten the chance to talk to him or even meet him face to face, but the rest of my family and my mother remember him as being a nice and generous man. I pray that I can also see my loved ones pass in a peaceful manner like you described. Even though I haven't lost anyone yet, I pray that all of my deceased family members and yours can find peace in the next life. Great job!
I can not even imagine the devastation of your situation and it was very courageous of you to share this story. I really enjoyed how you wrote with your emotion rather than with a sophisticated tone. This really highlights the emotions you were feeling and allows the story to come alive. It is really mature of you to view her death as a positive and beautiful thing rather than a negative. This was amazing story, thank you for sharing it.
This was very courageous to write and I applaud you for that. It was really great how you referred to death as not always a bad thing but beautiful. People always look at death as a horrible tragedy but you look at it as part of life and as a positive thing. Sorry for your loss and thank you for getting open with us about this person event.
Your depiction of this situation made me feel like I was actually there, so insightful. The fact that you had positive takeaways from the entire ordeal was very moving to see for it is not easy to see the positive light of these types of things. I loved this story that you were couageous enough to share on the blog and I praise you for doing so!
I really enjoyed this piece and how personal you were with it. From the tears of being homesick to the death of your grandmother. I feel as if we can all relate to this somehow but in different ways, I really enjoyed how something terribly wrong happened in your life but you saw it as a beautiful thing. Thank you for this well written piece Christian!
It takes courage to share a piece this heartbreaking. Death is something that will surround each and every one of us and eventually our time will come to meet it face to face. Until then, all we can do is survive and appreciate the life we're given. This was an amazing piece that everyone can relate to. - Jerico Dizon
I apologize for your loss. I can say, though, that I am very relieved to hear that your grandmother most likely passed without feeling any pain. The fact that you are able to share such a story with us is quite remarkable, and I would like to thank you for doing so. As death surrounds everyone, I feel as if we lose the people who are close to us far too soon. Every time I read stories related to death, I can't help but wonder what the person had to deal with, especially when they lose such a close family member. Great job with this story. I loved it, even though it took me on an emotional ride.
I really enjoyed this personal piece. That way that you wrote it makes it seem like it is a regular conversation. By doing that you made it more personal between you and the reader. This piece can confirm what its like to lose someone really close and be at peace with it and realize the true beauty of death.
Wow Christian, this story really grabbed my attention at the beginning and captivated it until the very end. You had me fully engaged in your piece because when you vividly described how you were just staring at the ceiling and let thoughts overwhelm your whole entire being, I immediately realized that I sometimes do the same exact thing. As a worrisome individual, I always tend to think of all of these "what ifs" just like you do and they only stress me out more. So needless to say, it was nice to see that somebody else has also thought similar to the way I do. I'm sure it took a ton of courage to write this personal story and put it up for all of your peers to see, but I am glad you did because it is very settling and inspiring. Although it breaks my heart that such a tragic loss occurred in your family, I am happy to know that your prayers were indeed answered and that you learned to find the beauty in things that are not assumed to be beautiful. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece!
This re-telling was absolutely beautiful, Christian. It was such an emotional piece yet it came across clear and untethered to the usual components of tragedy. I'm sorry for your grandmother's passing, but I am so touched that you found some beauty in the ugliness of death.
I was first drawn to your piece by the title which implied a very different perspective from the traditional ideas of death. Your use of diction and descriptive details to convey certain feelings or objects, no matter how seemingly insignificant, allowed me to visually experience this incident as though I was there with you. I relate to the idea of being homesick but not really identifying a specific "home." I never really looked at death as something that could be beautiful but by your experience of your grandmother being around people she loved and leaving peacefully, I am starting to rethink some of my similar experiences with death. Thank you for showing me a different perspective and great job on writing on such a personal topic!
I am very impressed by this piece as well as the bravery it took to write it. This spoke volumes to me and i feel as if your style of writing helped it do so. Not only did your grandmothers story touch me but it contradicted the sad aspects of death and instead made me see it as somthing more uplifting andbeautiful. Great job
I loved your brutal honesty about the loss of your grandmother and how deeply it has affected you. It gives me and other readers a insight on a deep personal account of you as a person that we may not have otherwise have known. Amazing Job.
Dang Chris I am very sorry for your loss it took a lot of courage to share something so personal and something that hits so close to home for a lot of other people as well. Your story was great I really enjoyed it. I just have a little bit of notes throughout your story you had a lot of lowercase I's so just make sure you check that I know especially typing on google docs. One other thing your story was kind of written in your voice like that isn't bad it's just like you said words that weren't very professional when writing a story like this. But overall I really liked your story it was very intriguing and you are a very talented writer. :)
I agree 100%, so many people are so scared to talk about death mainly because of the pain it causes the loved ones. We all fail to realize that death is a natural part of life and eventually there will a time when everyone passes away. Yes, it is harder on family and friend however, it should not be something to dwell upon or to be afraid of. I know a few people in my life who live in fear of going outside, driving, and simple everyday routines for the fear of being killed because of today's society. Clearly that is a much harsher way to go than it simply being your time, due to age. However I still think that we shouldn't be afraid to live because of the fear of death.
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