Find the shape and tell it!
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
"Paydirt" By Braden B.
My name is Paydirt, it's an interesting name I know. I live in Las Vegas. I live a sad and abused
lifestyle. Everyday people from around the world are begging me for money. They push my
buttons to get the money they want but I almost never give them any. Every time that I don't give
someone money they leave and a new one comes. Another person to pray to me. Cry on me.
Kick me, punch me, scream at me. Then one day a nice young man walked up to me. Gave me
some money then started to push my buttons to get the money. As usual i didn't give any. Instead
of throwing a fit the man gave me more money and tried again. This surprised me. I gave him a
small amount of money to see what he would do. With the money i just gave him, he have it
right back to me to try to get more. I gave him more. Even more the time after that, and even
more the next time. After ten times the man had gotten $10,000 out of me. He got up, thanked
me for what I had given him and left. I was in a good mood as the next man came over to me. He
gave me money then pushed my buttons as everyone else did. I gave him a small amount. "This
is not enough" he screamed, he then proceeded to kick me. The kind man who I had given a great
sum of money to came back to take this angry, kicking man away. Phil the kind man kept yelling
this name, Phil. The kind man sat down again and gave me money. Since I knew his kind nature
I generously gave $5,000 dollars. Phil had heard the bells and sirens go off, anytime I gave
someone a lot of money this happened, and he ran over to the kind man and beat him and took
his money. The next thing I knew Phil was attacking me he broke my glass ripped off my name
plate and yanked off one of my buttons. That's all I remember from that night. Now I'm on the
way to the dump. Riding in the back of a garbage truck. I am going to be scrapped for parts and
that is how my story will end. My name is Paydirt, I am a slot machine and I miss my old life. I
miss that one kind man. I miss my home in that hotel in Las Vegas. I will never see any if that
again.
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14 comments:
At first when I was reading the story i thought it was talking about a person until I hit the end of the story and it was a machine form a casino. Great story. The beginig was confusing for me until you cleared it up at the end. So great story.
Per. 4
MIKAYLA SEALS
I love how this has many deeper meanings to it. I can easily see how the slot machine can relate to people of the real world, as some are taken advantage of for money or treated horribly. Amazing metaphorical story. Keep up the good work!
Arianna Serna
Period 3
Wow, fooled me there!! I thought that it was an actual person that you were talking about. Really good story.
Angelica Elliott
per.4
I really loved the plot twist at the end of this story. It was very entertaining and your descriptions were great! Alluding a person to a machine is very clever and can be relatable. Good job Braden!
-Victoria Hurtado
Period 5
I love how you incorporated the slot machine to be "paydirt." The reason I say this is because when I lived in Vegas any adult I held a conversation with talked about how at one point of their life they got ripped off by a slot machine and some said they got lucky and won a thousand or more. Great job. I really enjoyed your story and I guarantee My parents would agree with why you named the slot machine "paydirt." You have a great sense of humor and I really enjoyed your story.
-period 4
Hahaha Nice! that was a good story. Good job tying it all in at the end. Great job Braden, keep up the good work.
Adrian Modesty
Pd 4
:)
This was amazing i was reading it like what the heck you just have that dude ten thousand dollars then you through in the twist that you were actually the slot machine I was like boom you went in to such detail cause that is basically what happens when I see people on slot machines kicking and screaming lol great story though hope you write more
This story is probably one of the most unique pieces I have ever read. It was very creative and well thought out. At the beginning, I thought you were describing the life of a real, regular human being, but as the story progressed, I learned that it was a slot machine. I love how you personified Paydirt. It was cool to see Paydirt's emotions and feelings. Great job!
- Jessie Santos
Period 1
Wow, I truly thought this was describing a homeless person living in Las Vegas. Then, when I read “slot machine,” everything started to make sense. I really like your use of imagery because I felt like I could picture everything (of course, once I figured that you were describing a slot machine). I find it interesting that you call the slot machine, “Paydirt.” I feel like that meant that the whenever the slot machine was giving out money to its users, then it would be treated like dirt since it didn’t give out enough money to those greedy people. Your story was very interesting and was very entertaining. So, keep up the good work!
Kimberly Chua
Period 2
I was really surprised when i found out that this was about a slot machine i honestly thought it was a rich person or a homeless person. great job Braden!!!
Madison Behee
Per.4
Ok so first of all, great job on making this story about "Paydirt" and his old, wonderful life. I would like to mention on what a great job on the personification you created with the slot machine. If this was a real life thing, then most slot machine would feel the same. Excellent job overall and make sure the memes stay dank ;3. (Sorry Mrs. Cogswell for putting that in here)
Period 4
This is too great, I love your imagination and perspectives Braden. At first I imagined the character as a salty old millionaire. Slowly you realize this isnt a man, who takes the money just to give it back? Naturally you revealed the speaker's identity, but the build up was lovely and vivid, the personification was gorgeous.
Great implementation of personification upon the slot machine to really tie the story together. There are literally countless interpretations of this story from a metaphorical standpoint, and yet all of them emphasize the harsh realities that confront us in everyday life. Any thing or person that we may build a wondrous relationship may be instantly taken away from us in the cruel chains of jealousy. Hopefully none of us will have to experience a loss of such tragic magnitude, but this story serves as a reminder that it may very well happen to us. Thank you for such a splendid piece.
This story has so many feels. In the beginning it was so sad, because of how people treated him. Until, i reached the end and realized that it was a slot machine instead of a person. This story is amazing I hope you will write more in the future.
-Michelle Truong
Period 1
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