Pages

Monday, May 5, 2014

"Through the Fog" by Cody M


Up early as the sun breaks the horizon and sheds light throughout the cloud cover. They grab their backpacks and make their way to the trailhead. They come face to face with the trail and look up towards the sky and peek at the rock they plan to ascend.  With a quick easy hike Michael and Roger make it to the base of El Cap and stare 3,000 feet straight up The Nose.  Roger looks over to Michael a bit pale and nervous. Michael tells him, “There’s nothing to fear now, we’re here, and we’re ready for this now”. Gathering himself Roger takes the lead as planned, hooks up to the first pitch and sarcastically tells Michael, “Only 20 more”.  Roger leads the way as Michael follows; they make good time through the first several pitches with easy climbing. They reach the end of pitch 7, and need to get over to the Stoveleg cracks. They notice the clouds keep rolling into the valley and the sky quickly is getting darker as the morning fades.  On to pitch 13, 14, 15 with moderate free climbing and approach the King Swing, pitch 18. The King Swing is a pitch that requires Roger the leader, to do a pendulum maneuver and swing from one side of the rock around the corner onto the next pitch. Historically, this swing move can be done fairly quickly in good conditions, however, the fog has rolled up on them and the landing spot around the corner may be difficult to see forcing them to go off the projected route. They take a break hoping the fog would clear up; meanwhile Roger once again begins to lose his nerves as he knows he is the leader on this climb and must swing first.
 After coming to a realization that the fog is staying, Roger has the courage to swing and search for the corner making a blind turn.  Roger goes for it and quickly swings back claiming he thinks he knows where the landing is. Four more passes and Roger cries out he has made it and puts the hooks in to fasten the rope for Michael, however he cannot still completely see if he is completely secured in the pitch. Now it’s Michaels turn to swing the corner, Michael goes for it, while swinging Roger hears a rattle one of the clips scraping the rock hasn’t been fastened and now both Michael and Roger panic knowing the result that’s approaching will not be good. Michael slams into the granite trying to grab hold, the moist air has made the rock slick causing him to slide a few hundred feet to a stable place below Roger. At this point it is nearly impossible for Michael to make the climb. Both devastated and crushed inside knowing that Roger must make a choice to turn back when he’s so close or to climb down to Michael. Michael shouts, “Finish it man, you’re so close and worked too hard”!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, Michael is definitely a good sport. If my friend had just caused me to slide several hundred feet down a cliff, I wouldn't hesitate to interrupt his/her climb. I am guessing from all the details you provided that you have been rock climbing once or twice. It sounds like a ton of fun (apart from the possibility of falling the way Michael did). Nice work.
-Christina Tapia

Aaron Ramirez said...

Ahhh. The classic cliff hanger ending. Is Roger going to continue and finish the climb or will he climb down to help his friend after his treacherous fall? This story was filled with imagery and diction that helped the reader really make a picture in his/her head about the whole situation. The story also created a real of tone and feeling of rock climbing using diction such as "On to pitch 13, 14, 15 with moderate free climbing" and "puts the hooks in to fasten the rope." Overall the story was very intriguing and enjoyable to read with all its imagery and diction.

Louis Westfall said...

I like that you left the post open-ended to allow the reader to decide what happens. That being said, it is not easy to describe climbing to someone that doesnt climb so good job with the word choice and descriptions.

NICK TENA said...

I like how you told this stry from the beginning, but left us wondering what the outcome was. great job

Anonymous said...

Really good job. i really liked this. i definetly know if i was in Micheals position i would probably be screaming at Roger ahaha. but really really good job.
-Alexandra Urena

Christofer guerrero said...

I liked this story because of its sense of hard work. it also had a very funny middle and end! Keep up the good work!

Jill Daker said...

Great job Cody. The story had the audience enthralled the whole time. The way you built the story up was great and really kept the audiences attention.

Unknown said...

Oooh, the suspense with this is so real. For a minute, I really thought someone was gonna die... but I guess that's a little too harsh haha. But I think it's great how Michael is very supportive of Roger; it really shows the true meaning of friendship. And it's great because it kind of makes the reader self-evaluate themselves, or at least that's what I did. But I suppose that it's in our nature to be a little bit selfish; and of course, these characters are unrealistic and seem a little ideal. But that's what really makes the story good. The suspense just adds on. Also, great use of imagery. The imagery in the beginning really brought out the story and contrasted it from the title! Great job. :)

Unknown said...

Oh nice story. I really liked it, it kept me well involved in the story line. Great way to keep the audience included. Good Job!

Melissa Nollora said...

Alright, I'm not going to lie. I was very confused as to whether your story was about rock climbing or baseball.. But I think I got it! I find it really ironic, but witty, that you ended the story at a cliff hanger, and they're actually holding on for dear life while climbing. But I'm sure you did that on purpose. All in all, it was a well written story! Good job Cody! (:

Unknown said...

You did such a great job building your story up. When you got to that final stretch, I was terrified of what was going to happen to the,. You did a really fantastic job.
-Lauren Williams

Michelle Millan said...

This was a very detailed blog that ultimately helped build up the intensity throughout the story. It hooked from beginning to end and definitely did not disappoint! Good job, Cody!

Neha Quraishi said...

I loved this little short story of yours! It was actually filled with suspense and I loved all the minor details you included. I think the ending of the story can serve as a message to everyone reading it, "you're so close and worked too hard" is something all seniors can relate to as they're ending their senior year, and getting ready to graduate. Good job!! ☺

Tyler Reinhold said...

I had no idea you knew so much about climbing. All of the climbing jargon made the piece very convincing. The last line was great. I must say, it made me laugh because I felt like you would say the same thing. I was happy you actually ended the piece instead of using a cliff hanger (pun intended). Nice job.

Eva Chen said...

This was such a... metaphorical cliff hanger haha. It was really relatable since we are all graduating and on the verge of the top of that cliff and the details made me feel like I was actually there too even though I know absolutely nothing about climbing. I like that you left it open to the reader kind of but seriously Roger better go back for Michael or I'm gonna be mad. I hate you, bye.

tyler jensen said...

lol good stuff cody. this is so your personality. i know you would rather be hiking in some mountian than chillin in a school desk anyday haha. anyways great story but you left me hanging at the end a little bit.

Anonymous said...

Great job cody, it kept me on my toes. Your gonna make me anxious because you left me there at the end a little bit but all in all good story