The bulletin board is surrounded by vivid images. Smiling
adults, laughing children, a couple on a sunset beach walking and holding
hands. I look back up at the poster board and began to read what it has to
offer.
“It’s extremely painless” said the boy sitting next to me. I
jumped and turned to him quickly. “They install a chip into the front of your
brain which releases “happy hormones”; I don’t know the complete science behind
it though.
“So it doesn’t make you happy?” I say.
He grinned vigorously at me. “It does too. You’ll live your
life to the fullest, erasing all your bad memories and you’ll create happy memories
instantly..” He had chip of glee in his tone. I tried to ignore it but I
continued listening and begun to feel something in my throat come up
noiselessly. I swallowed and looked at the floor; away from poster.
“As you see in that poster, participants showed a high
increase in their brain activity during a PET scan and..” Without hearing what
else he had to say, I stomped out of the room firmly.
When I got home I let the dog out. I took the TV dinner out
of its boxed, missed the trashcan and flew it in the microwave. I flop on the
couch and turn on the television. I then see some familiar faces; the same
couple on the poster board. The phones rings a loud and a woman begins talking
to me happily, confirming I have an appointment at 9:30am tomorrow. “I guess
this is really happening.” I take in to myself.
*
I have a book in my hands. I look at the receptionist and
turn back to the poster which got me here in the first place. I place the book
quietly on the table and put my hands back on my lap. “Why do I sweat so much?”
I began to say. “I need to stop putting..”
“Kyla Martin!”
I look to the left and see a woman through a doorway on the
opposite end of the room with a clipboard in her hand. Her straight, white
teeth blinded me through her pink shimmering lipstick as she says “You’re up
next!” I look back down at my sweaty hands and say aloud “Is this what I’m
going to become? A woman who has the urge to wear pink lipstick every day
because I’m so happy?
“Excuse me, ma’am?” The woman asked; she looked rather
confused and wrinkled up her eye brows. However, she kept her award winning
smile on her face with ease.
I stand up and look towards the doorway. It grew bigger as I
walk slowly towards her and never look directly in her eyes. “Nothing.”
16 comments:
The "happy hormone" chip that they put in your brain kind of reminds me of "soma" from "Brave New World" in that they both work to suppress one's natural feelings of anger, anxiety, annoyance, etc. It really is kind of scary to think of something that can control your emotions and mind in such a way as these two devices. I also liked how you used the pink shimmering lip gloss as an outward symbol of the woman's inward happiness which is just as artificial as her fake sticky pink lips.
This was an extremely interesting story. I admire the way you blended a futuristic scenario with everyday life. The ending definitely left me curious - did the surgery work for Kyla or was she left unsatisfied? If you ever decide to continue the story, let me know! Nice job!
-Christina Tapia
This was so great. I was really intrigued on how you used the pink shimmering lipstick as a symbol of happiness the chip would give you, and as a moment when she relized "is that what im going to be like" i thought you did and excellent job. I especially liked how you left a hook and the end. Does it ever work ot for her? Does she regret getting the chip? Do her nerves stop her from getting it seconds before it gets put in? I guess you're the onky one who knows. But really excellent job i really enjoyed reading it.
-Alexandra Urena
Your story was so creative. I’ve never even thought of such an advanced idea as a chip to make people happy. I really enjoyed the conflict the character faced about deciding whether to get the chip. I thought it was interesting that the character went through with it and I would want to know more. Nice job!
This is a really cool idea, and I think you did a pretty good job explaining it. However, I did notice you had a couple of errors. It seemed as though you were constantly jumping between past and present tense, and some of your words didn't feel like they belonged, like you meant one thing but typed another. Overall, I really enjoyed your piece. It was very interesting, and I found myself wishing Kyla would have walked away from the operation. You did a really good job Kyla.
-Lauren Williams
Good Job on your story!!:) It was very interesting to read. It was well written, I like how you added scenes to the story as to everyday life stituations. I enjoyed reading it. I also liked how you ended your story making the reader curious of whats going to happen next, making it seem like there might be a part two. . .? Overall, Great Job on your story!!
-Natalie Anguiano
I thought it was very interesting how you showed the doubt of the main character as if she didn't really want to be happy every day. The end of the story definitely left me craving more because I want to know if the surgery was successful.
-Percy Starks
This was a great idea for a story! I definitely had a ton of questions by the time I finished and found myself wishing there was more for me to read. I think the way that you showed the people with the chip as oblivious and confused really added mystery to the story, because I found myself wondering if they really chose to get it and how it actually worked. This was a really interesting story. Nice Job!
The narrative was very descriptive, which helped add to the overall attitude of the story. I like the concept of this very much, and i'm not even sure myself whether to be happy every day, but knowing that i have no choice in the fact, no actual emotions, or grind through life WITH actual emotions. Very interesting, and very nice job.
This was very good. I often think whether being happy all the time would actually be a good thing or just cause more problems. This was a great idea. Maybe you could write more on it and keep this idea going.
I thought that this piece was fantastic, it makes a person realize how artificial our happiness is and even when we know that this happiness is not real we still go through with trying to obtain it. I loved that it shows how unhappy people are inside and no matter what they get done to them, no matter what types of things they buy to make themselves happy nothing will fill that void except for ourselves.
Overall fantastic piece!
Rachael Rubalcava
I like the concept here a lot. It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode "Number 12 Looks Just Like You" where they do a surgery on people to make them beautiful and happy. The details you put in this story to make the differences between people with the chip and people without more obvious were wonderful. Kyla's sweaty hands and clumsiness compared to the never-diminishing smiles and the pink lipstick make it clear that this operation is an extreme procedure. I wonder why Kyla ended up choosing to go through with the procedure anyway. I'd like to know what happened to her afterward, but the ambiguity is part of the fun in this story. Fantastic Job!
Oh no! Did she go through with it!? This is a great story! It left me wanting to read more about Kyla as a character and what caused her so much pressure or such unhappiness in her past that made her go through with this life-changing process. I really liked that you set this story in a "Brave New World" type of time period it really made the story unique and interesting. Great Job!
-Lucia Gonzalez
Wow... this piece was just chilling! It's crazy how even though this is kind of "sci-fi," our society has gotten to the point where it's kind of true. Do we even know what true happiness is or are we just conditioned to associate happiness with distractions? Everything is so commercialized that one day we really are going to have to just implant happiness chips into people, just like what your story says. You really pointed out some flaws in our society in quite an original way, GOOD JOB!
Wow Kyla! You really kept me intrigued the whole way through. I was intensely reading through it as I was trying to analyze each and every character. Your thought and detail in the work kept me curious as to what it was really about and I thought it was absolutely amazing. The incorporation of the idea of "filling the void" really reveals who we really are and I think that it's great that the Kyla in the story is upset with what the world is becoming as everyone tries to achieve happiness. I thought it was a wonderful piece. Great job!
Your piece was very interesting! It's futuristic style reminded me of Brave new World so much! I thought it was very creative how you utilized imagery and quotations for the reader to get an inside perspective of the character's thoughts and feelings. Also, I thought it was nice that it included an underlying message about true happiness. Good job!
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