He tied
his boat off and started to climb the cliffs.
He knew that no one had lived to tell what was behind the cloud, but
still he climbed. As he climbed, he
began to remember the last remark he had rudely stated to his wife. “If you try to stop me, I will lose the love
for you that I once had.” His wife grew
silent, and the love between them started to fade away, as if it were just a
dream. Still climbing, he started to
cry, for he knew that he had made a mistake.
As he approached the top, he began to think, “Well, this isn’t so
bad.” Then he saw it. What had looked like a door began to form
into a portal. There was a sign that
read, “Through this portal lies either your greatest wishes or your worst
nightmares.” The man stood there, in
shock. He thought, “Maybe this is the reason that no one has ever returned.”
He started
to imagine the possibilities that could occur by walking into this portal. At best, the man would reappear with his wife
and they would live a happy, love filled life.
But at worst, the man would lose his wife, leaving him alone for the
rest of eternity. He then realized that
it would be foolish to take that kind of risk.
He turned around and headed for his boat. After a short trip, the man reached his
house. He stared his wife in the eyes
and apologized.
23 comments:
Ahhh, this was such a cute love story. So often, adventure stories make love subservient to the "quest" or "journey." I much prefer your alternative (and I am sure the main character's wife would agree). Nice job!
-Christina Tapia
That is so sweet. I like that you made your mysterious adventure piece, a romantic, suspenseful kind of story. You had a plot,and a conflict and a happy ending. :) Nice job.
~Funmi Sule
Per.2/ 3:16
4/22/14
Fun blog you wrote here. The sign is a true mystery when given those only two choices. I think I would of entered the portal only because at this time of my life I have nothing to lose. At least the husband apologized. All men need to learn to take responsibility for their own actions and learn from them.
I really like the door that appeared to be a portal.I like how this man was wise about his decision and thought before making an action. And how he decided to go with his wife. Nice work.
- Marchi Boggio
Awww so cute. I like the mysterious tone within the piece an the romance within it was great as well !
-Erin Napoleon
I enjoyed the fact that instead of making a suspenseful, kind of filled with action story, you made this into a really beautiful and romantic artwork. Overall I really liked this story and like the comparisons and details within in, great job. The one thing that kind of made me upset, is the curiosity of his wife's response or what would have happened if he entered, which wold it have been, but I guess that's exactly how you wanted it to be,romantic, yet mysterious, once again, good job.
Jose Mancillas
Period 2
this was such a cute story! but whats the name of the man and his wife? but other wise the story had such a cute message about men taking responsibility from what they do. good job!
That was really cool And I like how we had no idea where he was and what happen before this. its cool because now the reader has to make up why he was climbing up there and the story can be told differently every time so this was a really good blog.
~Gabe Sandes
This is such a wonderful, yet meaningful, story. You have said so much in such few words, and that is a tough thing to manage. Your story really makes us appreciate what we have waiting for us at home. This was extremely well done, and was written very nicely, with just the right amount of suspense for such a short story. Great job!
Wow, I really enjoyed the detail of how he lost love for his wife, so i was surprised in the end and i was glad that he came to his senses and apologized to his wife
Good job! The character made the right choice. I also loved the character going back and apologizing to his wife.
Great Job, i love the difference in this story compared to other stories that start out like this
Wow great story. I like how the man apologized to his wife.
I really like the fact that you added another character into the story and made it about more than just a man on a mysterious adventure. Your story allowed readers to find a deeper meaning in it because of the introduction of the wife and it only made your story better. It really got to me when I read how his last words to his wife caused there love to begin fading away and it was even more heartbreaking when he started. When I read the beginning I was scared that he would die and never get to fix what he had told his wife and when he saw the portal and read what could happen I felt sure something would happen and he would never get back to his wife. Clearly, I was relieved and happy when I read that he had decided to go back to his wife in order to fix it and that he apologized. You did a good job of focusing on, and building up, his situation with his wife in order to get readers to be at the edge of their seats hoping he wouldn't die so he could just go home. This story was well-organized and concise. Nice Job!
Great story loved that the ending he realized his mistake anyone else would have taking the risk and opened the door, very realistic solution to his problem. Hopefully his wife takes him back. God Job! -Haley Brown
This story had a great and different mood to it and was done well! - Anthony Navarrete
love the story! I loved how he came to his senses and apologized to his wife. He made the right choice. Good Job ! - Alexis Chiong p6
This is such a great story! And I do believe that the man choosing to go back to his wife rather choosing an unclear adventure is a much greater denouement. I do also believe that the greatest adeventure would be with people you love rather than any mysterious adventure. Nice job!
Aren't most choices that we have in life like the portal. They can lead to our wildest dreams or to our most dreaded nightmares. It is important to always weigh the consequences of our actions and think about the probable negative outcomes of our decisions. Your story also brings up another point, never leave another person on a bad note. Even if you are frustrated and angry in the heat of the moment, recollect yourself and part on mutual terms. Few people want the last words they have with someone to be of hate.
Wow, amazing story! Loved the ending when he finally apologized to his wife and opened that door.
This story has such a sweet message. Through a few words, one story can tell a lot. It was a bit disappointing that us readers never found out what truly happens from the clouds, dreams or nightmares coming true. I noticed that the story lacked imagery, but I wasn’t sure if it was for the author’s purpose or not. Either way, the neglect of imagery didn’t allow us readers to picture the climb that the man had to go through in order to reach the top. Instead, we got his thoughts. These thoughts used in the story was great because us readers got the emotional impact the man got from the climb; however, I would suggest that this emotional impact should be found in the ending as well because the ending was a bit weak when he merely returned home to “apologize” to his wife. There could’ve been more to it, but this story was still well written(:
I really liked the story especially adding that he and his wife's love was fading which made the story more interesting. And the portal how he thought what would happen all the good things but then also all his nightmares might come to life. Really good story overall.
I really liked this story. i could just imagine it in my head! great job1
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