I don’t remember how long I stood there. The only thing
that I do remember was the rain; the rain and what I would later recall to my
therapist, as one of my episodes.
It had taken a
lifetime to build my way up. And for the past two years I was able to live with
myself. But this day was different. I couldn’t look at myself anymore. Every
mirror showed an image of disgust, an image of failure.
“Why did I feel this way?” I would ask myself. The
answer became very clear on that day. I had lost who I was. My failures, every
one of my defeats; all of them were standing in front of me, glaring at me. And
I couldn’t bear them any longer. Each
one was a slow and excruciating stab at my heart.
I used to be a man that could learn from a
defeat, who could rise and take life by the reins. But this year had changed
everything. My defeats began to define me and on that day I tried to escape
from them.
Many years later, I would recall to my therapist that
without noticing, I had found myself running. I didn’t know where I was going;
all I knew was that my life, everything I knew, was over.
To those of you who don’t know me, I am one of the most
ambitious people that you might meet. The dishonesty, the ability to easily
betray friends; those are what allowed me to reach my dreams. Defeat was
something that I never took lightly.
Though very few
and far between, I began to see more and more failures within my life that day.
They began to grow, and with them my ambition slowly shrank. That is where I
lost myself.
ON THAT DAY, I came to the realization, that my dreams
were gone; that I no longer had ambition. The fact of the matter was that I had
lost everything; I had lost who I was because my failures had come to define
me.
Without the help of my therapist I would never have been
able to break the hold that my failures had on me. Only now I do I realize
that’s it’s not your failures nor your defeats that define you, but how you
react to them
I
32 comments:
Marco I really enjoyed this piece! I loved that the character was like a real person in a real situation, he wasn't this character who has the fairy tale ending because that isn't the way life works out for everyone. I liked the message that it isn't what you do but you who define who you are, I felt that the character was in many ways was relatable to people who are like this and your character showed what can happen when you let such ambitions take over. Overall very good job!
-Rachael Rubalcava
It is good that you understand failures are not setbacks, but lessons that you must overcome. I also enjoy how personal the narrator gets with his "failure" to accept failure.
-Sabrina Rondero
Per.5
I really liked the topic of your piece. I feel like several people can relate to this, me included. I know some people can be their own worst critic and allow their failures to overcome them. Even though your piece wasn't necessarily upbeat it was very well written and interesting. I enjoyed the end with the main character learning a valuable lesson.
Your piece was really good and as I read it, I couldn't help but think that everybody has had this feeling before. We have all at one point lost all drive and motivation to do that last homework assignment, study to get an A, or do one more extra thing. The end reminded me of a quote that I heard that talks about "its not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you stand back up". Good job
I really enjoyed that in this piece your character was treated as if he, himself was telling this story to us. I felt that this story was very thought out, good job. By the way I enjoyed that the character lost himself, but was able to regain himself with the help of his therapist.
Jose Mancillas
Wow, Marco!!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your personal reflection. I can relate to many of the emotions you felt and described; including self-doubt and feeling like a failure. I love the overall message of your story:"it’s not your failures nor your defeats that define you, but how you react to them". Marcopolo, you truly are one of the most ambitious people I have ever met. Great job, my friend!
Bravo, Marco Polo! Then the other questions rise: are my ambitions worth the means? Will I truly be happy when I accomplish my goals? What am I really after? Defeat is something that we all face; however, I'm glad you were able to carry on and see that failures don't define us. And neither do our accomplishments, just how the way one reacts to success says a lot about a person's character as well as how one plans to reach their goals. Sacrifices are necessary at times, but being consumed by ambition is not. I'm taking a guess here and thinking that this is flash fiction mixed with some of your personal truth. You will go far Marco Polo and well written! I could clearly picture everything thanks to your descriptive imagery.
dgb
I enjoyed how your character explained the way that he "lost himself". I have heard this kind of personal experience from people that I know and I myself have experienced the same feelings as the narrator at some point in my life. The message that we can be our own setbacks is a valuable one. And you are completely right. Our mistakes do not define us, but it is what we do when we decide to get back up that demonstrates our true character.
Wow, great job Marcopolo! The topic of this reflection is very relevant and can really apply to many high school students during a time when they are taking extremely difficult classes and they may not receive the grades they believe they deserve or want. The plot of the story was very telling and the "journey" of the character really help emphasize the theme of the story that it is okay to fail at times, as long as you get right back up.
the article was very well written. Your article brought up a very good point about life that many people can relate to. We all have failures, and many of us choose to dwell on them, even though they are not as important or influential as our successes. Many of us need to realize what you have made very clear and eloquently stated in your article.
I'm not sure if you are talking about yourself personally, or a different, made up character in this piece, but I think their must be a little part of you in this that made you write it. I love the part where you say "I found myself running." Yes, you may have been running from your failures, but ultimately, at the finish line, something better will be waiting for you.
Good message/theme. A lesson that everybody could always use a reminder of.
-Kevin McCondichie
Since when do you write Polo? this was great. I could really feel what you put into this piece. It's probably because I know you, but even if I didn't I would understand what you were trying to say. This was great, your wording was fabulous and I loved everything about it.
Marco your writing has improved drastically since Sophomore year when I would edit your essays during PE! It is incredible to see you offer a piece of yourself up in this work. I can certainly see your ambitious personality shine through. Remember Marco, even if you do not achieve your dream of becoming President, you will always be a hard working individual. -Emily Wilt per 1
Marco this is awesome! I understood what you were trying to get across, and it's understandable that a lot of people want to run away from their failures. This is beautifully written!
This story grabbed my attention from the first couple sentences.This story was trippy yet exciting and thats what I enjoyed most about it.Nice work! - Alexis Chiong
This is a great piece. I feel you really explained yourself in detail and poured yourself out. it is really great that you have realized that failures don't define you at all. -Funmi Sule
The beginning was very well configured. As I was reading the first 4 sentences, I began wondering what could possibly be wrong with this character. You had me invested right away because I wanted to discover what you meant by "broken man" . Another thing I liked is how you begin describing your main, very vague which left us able to pick up any possible clues to his past because we were able to catch a glimpse of who the speaker truly is. We understand right away that the speaker was going through hardships. However, what really got me is how I was able to feel like I was inside the speaker's mind. By the end of this story, I was wondering what this main character could have been talking about. I really wanted to know the past of the speaker's which is a good thing because it was very well written. Good job!
I find this extremely relevant after Ryan and Alex talked about how college is not really about grades and that we (AP students) might find it very unnatural for us to get low grades when it is normal in college. It only matters how you use the information you use in college and I find it that you have the same conclusion. Awesome theme to talk about when everyone is thinking about college and what they are going to do after high school.
I find it very fitting to use short paragraphs to convey your thought process because it seems that these thoughts keep on entering your mind and they keep on distracting you. It also was very fitting that you kept on going back and forth with your story, signifying that you are "lost" and are struggling to find yourself. Overall this was a very well written story, good job.
I really liked this story. While it was sad to hear the story of someone who had fallen into a low point in their life, it was really uplifting to hear how he used that low point to learn about himself and find a way to look at life from a different perspective. The fact that your piece was simple and organized with a focus on an important memory in the character's life really allows the reader to feel as though they are inside the character's head. It was a good idea to use the loss of ambition as a cause for the low point in the character's life, because I think it makes your piece one that inspires self reflection. Good job!
Marco I didn't know you can write this well! This piece was very well written and I can understand what you're trying to say by it. Maybe because I can relate to it. Anyways, good job! I really enjoyed reading this.
I think this piece was a great expression of how an obsession with success and accomplishment lead to nothing but emptiness. The plight of your main character beautifully demonstrated the emotional journey from blindness, to recognition, and eventually wisdom. Well done!!
Christina Tapia
i think this is showing how pride can take over you and your life & without pride you'll feel more happy and free, but i have to disagree with the part when you say without my therapist you will never break the holds that your failures had on you because in my opinion only God himself could be able to help you break that stubbornness you may have inside you but over all i really liked this, -Rebecca Keryakes
This was great! Reminds me so much of my personal statement. You made me feel every emotion that the character was feeling throughout the story. Almost as if I was trapped and suffocating beneath these defeats that were being described. Also, I loved your last line. It is so true that our trials and tribulations do not define us, but the actions we take after them. Great Job.
-Alexis Santiago
I can truly connect to this story especially being a senior. There are many times when you tend to question your ambitions in life and what the future holds. Great ending as well gives me hope to learn from failures and mistakes and grow from them great story! - Haley Brown
I like your story a lot because it was very relatable, considering the extreme amount of stress seniors have to go through during these last few months of applications. Reviewing grades, having to look through every mistake and trial that we have gone through to get to the person we are now, agonizing over scores and regrets, and then above all of that applying to places that we don't even know if they'll accept us. Your use of imagery and detail really allowed the story to have dimensions, and to tie it all of your moral was superb, and probably something a lot of people need to realize too. Great job!!
Wow, Marco! Reading this was like a trip inside your head. I really liked the ambiguity and the moral theme at the end of the story. At first, it was depressing but I finally realized what you meant. The moral of the story was so much like you. Great job Marco.
-Jay Moritz
Intense, Marco, very intense. I can see a piece of this person inside everyone around me, especially myself. Maybe I need a therapist...
The wording was nice; everything seemed to flow. The fact that the person knew the certain things he did reflected badly on him yet he didn't care was a great characterization. Good job
I remember you showed me your piece during photo class and we laughed it off on how this piece may embody you in a sense.
I still reckon it's somewhat true, NOT ENTIRELY, but somewhat.
This piece really touched me, especially when the character explained how his failures stood there in front of him and you ended the paragraph with him saying, "Each one was a slow and excruciating stab at my heart."
I FELT A STAB AT MY HEART WHEN READING THAT.
Maybe I'm just super emotional when it comes to pieces written this way, but still. THE FEELS.
And then at the end, when the piece made a complete 360 degree turn on a positive note, I got goosebumps, "I had lost who I was because my failures had come to define me." <-- THAT QUOTE. OOH. GOOESBUMPS.
At the end, when the speaker portrays a message from what he learned, it teaches the audience about how one's reaction towards a certain thing can be the determinate of how one's actions will be portrayed.
I remember you showed me your piece during photo class and we laughed it off on how this piece may embody you in a sense.
I still reckon it's somewhat true, NOT ENTIRELY, but somewhat.
This piece really touched me, especially when the character explained how his failures stood there in front of him and you ended the paragraph with him saying, "Each one was a slow and excruciating stab at my heart."
I FELT A STAB AT MY HEART WHEN READING THAT.
Maybe I'm just super emotional when it comes to pieces written this way, but still. THE FEELS.
And then at the end, when the piece made a complete 360 degree turn on a positive note, I got goosebumps, "I had lost who I was because my failures had come to define me." <-- THAT QUOTE. OOH. GOOESBUMPS.
At the end, when the speaker portrays a message from what he learned, it teaches the audience about how one's reaction towards a certain thing can be the determinate of how one's actions will be portrayed.
The detail of seniors today is very true. We have so much stress going on with school that it can be to hard to handle at certain points. Senior year is not as easy as it seems. Great Job with the story!
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