I remember my first heartbreak. It was the most awful thing in the world with this
boy we’ll call Fin. Fin and I were friends first, best friends in fact. We had a group we all sat with and hung around, since we were all in the same extracurricular activity. Of course everyone in the group made each other laugh, but we had the best connection. Fin and I made each other experience that pain at your sides laugh like no other, but everything changed once he moved away. We admitted we liked each other after he officially moved out of the city, and my naive self thought a long distance relationship would be easy, so I plunged right into it. We Facetimed everyday and texted nonstop to the point where we would run out of things to talk about. It was great for a while, until it wasn't. The talking on the phone started to slow, the texting wasn’t as frequent. Being the person I am, I was concerned. If there was an issue, I wanted to fix it.
However, he had different plans. He broke it off, and I was devastated. It was so cliché looking back on it now; I was crying on the bathroom floor and felt like it was the end of the world. When something causes me emotional stress, I feel nauseous and my stomach physically can’t hold food down. It got to the point where it was so bad that I couldn’t tell the difference between pain from hunger and actual pain. My Mom and I
ended up going to the doctors, and they ended up telling me nothing was wrong with me.
I went to Sizzlers afterwards just to have an allergic reaction to something there and had
to go back. To this day, I still won’t step foot in a Sizzler’s.
Anyway, this was the start of a chain of events that happened afterward but still considered completely normal. I’ve dated other people, learning a new lesson with each one. Learning it’s not healthy to be completely focused on them 100% of the time. You’ll end up losing yourself and won’t know how to live without them. You shouldn’t go into another relationship quickly to ease the pain after a breakup. It really just stunts your growth as a person. When you see toxic signs dont ignore them; a little independence is good in a relationship. But the most important lesson I’ve learnt is to know your worth. Don't settle for less than what you know you deserve. I’m human; I haven't been perfect in these relationships, but it’s all part of the learning process. With each relationship you have, whether it be a friendship or relationship, you learn something new, and that's the most beautiful part of it.
Although it hurts, although it feels like your world is crashing down, in the end, it all turns out okay. In 2 years, you won't even remember what all those fights were about or all those memories you used to cry about. All that's left is the lesson you learnt from it and how they made you feel; you learn what you can and can’t deal with and what you want or is necessary in a person you're interested in. I don't regret any of the relationships I’ve been in. I wish them nothing but the best, but I’m also grateful that I was able to be apart of their life for that split moment and be a lesson for them as they were to me.
Anyway, this was the start of a chain of events that happened afterward but still considered completely normal. I’ve dated other people, learning a new lesson with each one. Learning it’s not healthy to be completely focused on them 100% of the time. You’ll end up losing yourself and won’t know how to live without them. You shouldn’t go into another relationship quickly to ease the pain after a breakup. It really just stunts your growth as a person. When you see toxic signs dont ignore them; a little independence is good in a relationship. But the most important lesson I’ve learnt is to know your worth. Don't settle for less than what you know you deserve. I’m human; I haven't been perfect in these relationships, but it’s all part of the learning process. With each relationship you have, whether it be a friendship or relationship, you learn something new, and that's the most beautiful part of it.
Although it hurts, although it feels like your world is crashing down, in the end, it all turns out okay. In 2 years, you won't even remember what all those fights were about or all those memories you used to cry about. All that's left is the lesson you learnt from it and how they made you feel; you learn what you can and can’t deal with and what you want or is necessary in a person you're interested in. I don't regret any of the relationships I’ve been in. I wish them nothing but the best, but I’m also grateful that I was able to be apart of their life for that split moment and be a lesson for them as they were to me.
15 comments:
I like the detail of your story about how you felt after the breakup it really gives those reading an image of how devastated you were with the event you were sitting on the floor in the bathroom. I also agree that you do learn something from any relationship friendship or romantically and that space for you to focus on yourself and your partner to focus on themselves is good as well so that you both grow as people together.
This piece was especially interesting to me because It kinda of opened my eyes to how it would be I was "Fin" . I'm in kinda a similar situation just without the long distance part. The advice you give in this is great and I will keep it in mind going forward in life.
I like the detail the you put into this piece. You can really tell that the relationship affected you. However, you are right when you say that you learn something new from relationships, especially looking back at them. Like your title says, its all part of the learning process.
I love this piece! I like the amount of detail that you put into it. I can tell that you were deeply affected by this situation because of what was happening after the heartbreak. Like you said in your title, everything is all part of the learning process.
I'm glad you learnt something after your heartbreak and dating of other people since, your last sentence was really good, that's a great mindset to think about when you break off with someone, the fact that they shared their life with you a little and you the same must be an good experience to see other's life and learn something from them as well, after all, life is all part of an learning experience.
your story was very insightful, thank you for sharing your experience with us. i appreciate your positive attitude and outlook on life. its definitely tough to go through heart break but being able to deal with the whole experience makes you stronger than most. great job -kayla j
I know that getting over your first love/heartbreak can be tough. It provides you with new experiences that you know you'll be able to keep for the rest of your life. People learn a lot from these kinds of experiences that can ultimately be beneficial in the end. I'm really glad you were able to work through it and look at the positive side from it. Thank you for sharing this personal experience! :)
The lesson you learned and how you learned it were both excellent. I like how your story was straight to the point and you also very clearly stated your takeaway from this emotional experience. It was interesting to see the growth that you experienced as a result of this saddening experience. Good job!
The realism throughout the entire piece was so relatable and the amount of detail given made it just as interesting. Though you have dated other people, I am glad that you are able to use that experiences with them as "all apart of the learning process." Continue to learn from your life experiences, thank you for sharing such a personal piece.
Kaylyn,
Thank you for sharing your story. Your willingness to learn from your experiences is really admirable. I think that is one of the main points that you were really able to hammer home today; the fact that learning, throughout the pain, is what helped you grow as a person. That is probably the most important aspect of failed relationships. But the lessons that you learn in failed relationships seriously do translate into solutions in a new relationship. You really eloquently conveyed this message!
- Joshua
Thank you for sharing your story with us and allowing us readers to see a valuable life lesson that we shouldn’t take me granted. Great job
I really support the overall message of this piece. It's always important to remember that it is okay to have some alone time and space between you and your partner because you are your own person. I also admire your willingness to learn from past relationships. It was a great story!
Some experiences while painful, are usually the most valuable ones to learn. Being able to make a positive by learning out of a negative will help you grown to be a more mature and resilient person, keep up the good work!
-Rebecca C.
I love this story and the advise that you give in it. its very real and relatable. everyone needs time a part to grow. - kate sainz
Thank you for sharing this piece with us. I'm really sorry you had to go through the heartbreak and sadness that usually follows a breakup of this magnitude. I'm glad you ended up learning a very valuable life lesson from this and also learned how to move on.
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