The moon shined brighter when she was here. The grass was so much greener, the rain felt so soft. I’d sing a melody and her harmony responded instantly. I made no note of it. I had grown used to her. I must have gotten too comfortable, or something. But, I had loved her, and she loved me back, so it was fine. The wind howls without her, searching for her touch. I remember the way she looked out the window, with her hand floating through the air. I remember the way she smelled, I remember her eyes, the braid in her hair fell perfectly over her shoulder. She turned to me – I think – but my eyes were on the road. She had said something, and God I wish I had heard. Or I did hear, but – the music was too loud. We were listening to a song she chose, I don’t remember what, that’s not important.
Her name was April. She had brought a glory to my life that made her namesake justified. A man could go his whole life in Winter. Only knowing the gray mist that filled the air, never feeling the heat against his skin. Every moment, even those that may have been mistakenly illuminated by a beam of light through the overcast, was overshadowed by the idea of the Spring to come. And then It came. It took me by such surprise, she was unlike any other. She radiated such an innocence that had she been placed in Eden, our immortality would’ve been ensured. When she spoke, a choir filled my ears. It didn’t matter what words were being spoken, I’d give up a thousand conversations for one more song. She filled me with warmth. She sparked a flame in me that would burn the shores of the Dead Sea.
Suddenly the world was grand. I had never noticed the beauty of the trees in my own yard, not until she admired them. And so a forest grew around me. She had dreams. Aspirations, she called them. She was so funny, she made me laugh without even joking. She wished for a garden, outside of our home. Cooking was her “passion,” how convenient would it be to have our groceries right there! She begged. And so we were married in the Garden of Versailles. It was a beautiful day, we had exchanged our vows. I had promised to give her the world, for she was my own. She was my light, my only reason. She was my everything, the air I breathed, the food I ate, the home I slept in. She was my everything. She spoke her vows. She spoke with such grace – I remember that. She spoke for a long time. Far too long, but it was okay, she looked so cute when she was passionate. I can't recall what was said, it did not matter. It was a glorious ceremony. She wanted something small, but she deserved so much more. She deserved it all.
The Earth around me mourns the loss of her foot. The barley that flooded this valley once so golden had shifted to such an unappealing brown. The birds’ hum once so harmonious now linger in dissonance. I loved her so greatly. Could she not see that? Mountains of gifts I brought to her. Anything she asked for. Her children had slept on my chest. We were perfect for eachother. She was so lovely, and so I loved her. Was that not enough? She had asked me for one last drive. She wanted to enjoy my company once more, she said. I had so many questions, her answers just made no sense! She wouldn’t even listen to me! “Why?”, I asked. She claimed I didn’t care about her? I Didn’t Listen?! I loved her unconditionally! Never would I take away what she was taking from me. How can one be expected to return to the ground after bathing in the stars? You would not grace a sinner with the presence of Heaven only to send him back to Hell… That’s cruel! But that she did.
The moon had shone so bright. The crickets that once served as the metronome to our tune pierce through the silence like a knife on my skin. For 3 months she showed me a world of growth. For another, we prospered. It was going so well! Now the sun feels so dim. It was going so well. The lush green that hung over my head has crippled to the floor. It was going so well. The soundtrack that flew above us is nowhere to be found, the pond we bathed in frozen over. I was nothing without her, and nothing I shall be. She was my everything, she was everything. Now what is left of me?
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