"Earrings" by Jalanie M

 

Growing up, I was always told to wear earrings before going anywhere. Usually, this was a minor issue because I would take them off right after leaving the house and put them back on right before returning home.

All in all, it was fine. Except for the few times I had no choice but to suck it up and wear them whenever I went to church.

When I was younger, I always saw the church as a place my family and I went to make my great-grandmother happy. So, every few months, I, along with my brother, my sister, and my parents, would drive an hour to sit in what I perceived to be a two-hour waste of time that I could instead spend watching Nickelodeon. Unfortunately, I could not absorb most of the lessons in the pastor's sermon as I was too preoccupied with the immense weight pulling at my ears.

However, the struggle was not limited to earrings. I was consistently reminded to sit with my legs close together or to "act like a girl." These instructions felt like an attempt to confine me to a mold that did not quite fit. The discomfort of conforming to societal expectations regarding appearance and behavior began to weigh heavily on me.

As I grew older, the conflict between societal expectations and my true self intensified. I started questioning why I needed to conform to these gender norms and expectations. Was there indeed a right way to be a girl? Did earrings and the way I sat define my femininity?

As time passed, I realized it was not merely about the earrings or the way I sat. It was about the limitations imposed on me because of my gender. I continued to feel confined by the stereotypes and expectations.

Although my beliefs have changed significantly since then, it has become increasingly difficult to accept myself and my family. Although I was at one point extremely resentful towards my parents in particular, I have begun to learn how to accept them for who they are. Their beliefs are shaped by the environment in which they grew up. Changing their minds may become futile in the long run if I try to change their mind. Moreover, the fear of persecution and rejection by the people around me made me feel disconnected from my personhood. I eventually concluded that their beliefs were just as significant as my own. Acknowledging this allowed me again to be more sympathetic to them and anyone else I disagree with.

Reflecting, I recognize those moments as stepping stones towards self-acceptance and liberation. By challenging the gendered implications of earrings and embracing a more authentic expression of identity, we pave the way for a more inclusive and accepting society. In breaking the mold imposed by earrings, we find personal liberation and an invitation for society to redefine its expectations and celebrate the richness of individual expression.